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Why I love Being a Single Mother - Page 18

post #341 of 481
bump
post #342 of 481
Putting this here so that I can come back and find it a year from now when the dust has settled (however that may be)...

I'm looking forward to:
-Not having the tv on all waking hours (heck, I might even get rid of them)
-Being able to have my little boy sleep with me whenever we feel like it
-Visiting family (both sides) and not having to apologize, pick up after, run interference for anyone but my toddler
-Being in control of my financial future
-Not always preparing for the next inevitable crisis
-No more putting a good spin on everything
-Me, a cat, a crazy little boy and peace
-No worries about macho ideas. DS can be a hippie princess dancer if he wants!
-Time to spoil ME a bit.

I MAY even decorate something a little girly!!!! It's not really my style, but I might do it just because I CAN.
post #343 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by josybear View Post
from the moment he arrived until i got out of his car with my babies i felt like i couldn't breathe. something was crushing my chest and my windpipe. he was just so relentlessly negative. i barely spoke the whole time, i couldn't get a breath.
i am so, so glad to be free of him. this evening was the best reminder possible that i made the right choice. and i'm not inviting him over again.
My DD and I have only been in our own place for a couple of weeks (WHOO-HOOO!!!!), but I've been both dropping her off and picking her up for her visits with her dad, because I just don't want to taint our beautiful little house with his presence.
post #344 of 481
I'm 33wks pregnant and the father doesn't know b/c I can't find him... I know he is going to flip out when he gets that child support order! lol! He was definately the last person I would have picked, but accidents happen and they are not all bad. In the begining I never would have thought I'd have grown this much or that I'd be so HAPPY!

I'm just very glad that the choices I make for raising my little Sarah won't be challenged or undermind, and I know she will always be loved.

If he does get involved later, I can only have faith in the fact that I did a good job raising a healthy well-adjusted human being and that if she gets hurt, she knows I will always be there for her.

I'm very excited to meet my baby girl and nuture her spirit, mind, and body!

Also, No Religion Conflict!!
post #345 of 481
I always love seeing this thread.

---------------

Because while A Room of One's Own is good, a home and family of one's own is better.
post #346 of 481
I love that i get to read this awesome thread!
I have never been married so all of these posts make me even more happy to be a single mom and make me want to stop concentrating on alot of negative things about being single- like being lonley! Some of these things make me never want to go on a date again! LOL!
post #347 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by andy1078 View Post
Some of these things make me never want to go on a date again! LOL!

I hear you there!

As for me....Peace. Spending peaceful time with myself and peaceful time with my daughter.

And I like the fact that my hair is growing back in and my jaw doesn't ache in the morning (from clenching my teeth while I sleep).
post #348 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by RollerCoasterMama View Post
Putting this here so that I can come back and find it a year from now when the dust has settled (however that may be)...

I'm looking forward to:
-Not having the tv on all waking hours (heck, I might even get rid of them)
-Being able to have my little boy sleep with me whenever we feel like it
-Visiting family (both sides) and not having to apologize, pick up after, run interference for anyone but my toddler
-Being in control of my financial future
-Not always preparing for the next inevitable crisis
-No more putting a good spin on everything
-Me, a cat, a crazy little boy and peace
-No worries about macho ideas. DS can be a hippie princess dancer if he wants!
-Time to spoil ME a bit.

I MAY even decorate something a little girly!!!! It's not really my style, but I might do it just because I CAN.
You know, I made this list a month ago, when the decision to leave was fresh. It's remarkable what a difference a month makes. I'm already feeling a lot closer to several of these. When I wrote them the pain was extremely raw and I knew the decision was the right one but it was hard to make (took 5 years!!).

I am really truly looking forward to being a single mom. It's all baby steps so far, but important baby steps.

And for anyone that wrote here, just wanted to let you know that this list helped me realize that peace and freedom were out there and it helped make me brave enough to take that step.
post #349 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by josybear View Post
ex came over for dinner tonight. i invited him, i thought it would be good for the kids to see us together every now & then.
ugh.
i'd spent all day with feverish boys draped across me, so i was still in my pjs and my hair was a mess when he arrived. i asked him to hold them while i got dressed. halfway through getting dressed they came into my room looking for someone to hold them. he was in the living room, flicking through my cds. he made some snarky comments about my music. apparently he'd forgotten to hold his sick sons.
then i asked him to watch them while i made dinner. he didn't. i got to make dinner with a kid pulling on each leg. it was like deja vu.
we ate dinner, he didn't say thank you. the whole way through the meal he complained about this, that and the other thing. it made for scintillating dinner conversation, let me tell you.
after dinner we tried the kids' summer clothes on them to see what we need to get. he got really frustrated when the squirmy 1 year old and the easily distracted 3 year old were not into trying on ten pairs of shorts.
then we went to the store to get shorts & tank tops for the kids. the 1 year old was too small everything there. i was trying smaller and smaller sizes on his little butt and nothing stayed up. apparently this was torture for ex. at one point he stormed away. i was worried that he'd left without us, but he eventually came back.
on the ride home, in between bouts of complaining, he decided that he would just go home and i could walk to my place from there. um, no. it's raining. i have tons of homework. the kids are sick. no.
seriously, you'd think i asked something huge & unreasonable of him.
from the moment he arrived until i got out of his car with my babies i felt like i couldn't breathe. something was crushing my chest and my windpipe. he was just so relentlessly negative. i barely spoke the whole time, i couldn't get a breath.
i am so, so glad to be free of him. this evening was the best reminder possible that i made the right choice. and i'm not inviting him over again.
huh. i had a very similar dinner with my ex recently. are we the same person?
post #350 of 481
BUMP!

My dd & I went on one long and about 5 mini-vacations this summer. I loved that I alone decided where, when & how - and whether and $how much$ ! Never any committee decisions (or compromises), just me, um, doing whatever I want for my family. DDDDD
post #351 of 481
My kids took out the trash and unloaded the dishwasher this morning without being asked and the dishwasher is not even their chore, they just wanted to do something nice for me.
In twelve years of marriage, my dh might have done that once or twice.
And you know what? Even on the mornings when I do it myself, the fact that I am cleaning up after my kids and myself and not another adult is so satisfying.
But my kids doing it :just because: was the sweetest surprise ever.
I get more time to be grateful for them and have lost the distractions and disappointments of a bad marriage by becoming a single mama and that is awesome. :
post #352 of 481
I love that I can (and do) buy feather boas and fairy outfits for my son's dress-up basket, without the inevitable gender-bias comments that ex would contribute.

http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/j...airyBoy003.jpg
http://i271.photobucket.com/albums/j...airyBoy005.jpg


I also love that I can get my son the pink sippy-cup that he picked out on his own, without the same annoying comments about assigning colors to genders. And my son will never feel ashamed about having/owning/enjoying the color pink - its his favorite!

We teach that colors are for everyone, something that would freak my ex out completely.
post #353 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ahappymel View Post
I love the fact that no one borrows my razor : )
I love the fact that I don't feel any pressure to use that razor : )
Oh man!!!!!! I so identify with this.... but let me add this....

I don't have to worry about anybody else using my TOOTHBRUSH!!!!!!!!!! Eeeeeewwwww!!!!

And I loved the buttered toast one, too!

You guys are fantastic!
post #354 of 481
two words:
Clean sheets.
post #355 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by Isamama View Post
I hear you there!

As for me....Peace. Spending peaceful time with myself and peaceful time with my daughter.

And I like the fact that my hair is growing back in and my jaw doesn't ache in the morning (from clenching my teeth while I sleep).
Oh, my goodness...you must have been through so much!
I'm not a big "hugger," but I here you go...
post #356 of 481
bump. more! more!
post #357 of 481
I am looking forward to:

-Having my room back and redecorating it to be a place of comfort, relaxation, and happiness.
-Being able to make plans with the kids and not worry about whether he feels like doing it too or when he's ready to go.
-Control over my finances.
-Control over cleaning.
-Never having to have any of his friends over here ever again.
-A nice-smelling no man pee bathroom.
-Being able to make food he hates that I love.
-Being able to have a beer or glass of wine without judgment.
-Being able to get a new car and not having to worry about whether he is smoking in it.
-Being able to breathe, knowing there is not a heavy air of negativity in the house.

That's all, for now.
post #358 of 481
Subbing

(How have I missed this thread before now??)

post #359 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by That Is Nice View Post
Subbing

(How have I missed this thread before now??)

I dont know. It is one of the loveliest threads on MDC. :

single or not.

post #360 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toteblume View Post
Oh, my goodness...you must have been through so much!
I'm not a big "hugger," but I here you go...

Thank you!
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