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Why I love Being a Single Mother - Page 3

post #41 of 481

All of the most excellent women I know are single moms!

I have begun to refer to myself as "Manfree," rather than single. Heh-heh. My daughter (age 5) asked me last year why I hadn't married her father (SOB to the hundredth power). So, I dug up some old wedding photos from two former marriages to way nicer guys, put them on the wall and told her, "I married these guys." :LOL Now, how could we have that funny little moment if the SOB was in my face? All of the laughter in my house: that is one of the things I love about being a single mom.

My daughter told me something a few days ago, only an hour after the ex actually called for the first time in several months (he disappeared via the airport last January), and I allowed him to speak to her. An idea swelled up in her little person as she set her fork to her dinner plate, and with a peaceful, contented look on her face, she looked over at me and announced, "Mom, you're my dad."

I love this thread. It has been such a boost, so wonderful to see such a great group of other manfree mothers who are thinking just like me. We have made a silk purse out of a... silk purse! I salute you each and all!
post #42 of 481
Quote:
We have made a silk purse out of a... silk purse!
:LOL Yeah! Why do people keep staring at my purse as if I'm carring around a pig's ear???
post #43 of 481
Being a single mom has allowed me to be in a wonderful, healthy, loving relationship with a great man. Creating the kind of relationship I deserve and could never have had with my x...
post #44 of 481

Moms/Dads

An idea swelled up in her little person as she set her fork to her dinner plate, and with a peaceful, contented look on her face, she looked over at me and announced, "Mom, you're my dad."

When my son first started talking and until he was almost 5, he would call me Mama when he thought I was doing something Mommy-like and Daddy when he felt the activity was more daddy-like. It actually drove me crazy because it felt like a denial of my femaleness whenever I didn't do something stereotypical, but he outgrew it. And it had its positive side–he really does see me as capable of doing everything.
post #45 of 481
Thread Starter 
Remember that thread about saying "I like you."

well, I like you all!!! Heck, I love you all!!

You are such strong women, it makes me proud to be a single mama!!!

post #46 of 481

Why I love being a single mother...

Because it feels great raising a fabulously terrific child!

(And as a single mother, she's of course, my whole life, and very best friend.)

I wouldn't have it any other way.

And what a blessing to have had no choice but to find the strength/patience/humility/resilience/energy/resourcefulness/courage necessary to do it alone
within myself.

That's why i love being a single mother.

post #47 of 481

Let me count the ways....

Peace and respect in our home. Co-sleeping with my daughter (who has always slept soundly all night as long as she can have a hand or foot touching me). Extended breasfeeding. No one to second-guess my decision to not vaccinate her (the result of reading many books and articles). Likewise my decisions about nutrition, i.e. no dairy or sugar, little meat (again, the result of a lot of thought and research, trying to think outside the box). No TV. No one to compromise her well-being physically or emotionally. We play together and work together around the house. We hike, we camp, we beachcomb, we read, we make art together, we have FUN. No one else to take up my attention and emotional energy--yet we have lots of close friends and family in our lives and in our home, so my daughter also knows how to be part of a larger group and is not growing up thinking the world is centered around her. I am mindful and grateful for every day we continue in good health and safety. All the work I have put into my own emotional healing and growth is paying off a thousandfold in my conscious parenting. Hopefully, my daughter will step into the world from where I am now. She will have issues, but I pray they are different issues than what I grew up with. The no-dad thing will be one of them--but since I don't feel deprived by not having a partner, at least she won't pick up that vibe from me.
post #48 of 481

more... and to bump this excellent thread!

-eating pasta with anchovies and pickled garlic for dinner, and not even brushing my teeth afterwards! (DD ate mac & cheese; she didn't inherit my crazy tastebuds.)

-because no husband = no in-laws (or *my* relatives; I "lost" them in the divorce, long story), no "where are we spending the holidays"/driving-flying-pleasing everyone stress. We celebrate in OUR home, with OUR traditions, including staying in PJs all day!

-the wonderful adventures that are so easy for twosomes (of whatever age, including two adults) and so hard for more-than-two (with everyone's disparate schedules & moods). Last night we went to a local beach for a bonfire and caroling by the docking "Christmas ships"; so cool! Can't imagine my stuffy ex going for something that pedestrian! And this weekend we might drive into the mountains just to see snow, because why not? Wa-hoo!
post #49 of 481
Thread Starter 
Oh yes your own holiday traditions are excellent!

I can go spend 3 weeks w/my family!
post #50 of 481
Oh, I thought of another one...........

when my ex left he took all the junk food with him and I lost and have kept off about 35 pounds
post #51 of 481
OOOOHHHHHH!!!! I am soooo liking this thread, I just found it!!!!

What makes me happy to be a single mom?????

Going to sleep at night with my two babies on either side of me,

When my son wants to cuddle it's just with me,

I have no one telling my son what to eat, he's picky, i'm over it so should the rest of the world,

When my babies cry, are sad, are happy or just want to play... it's all me!!!!!!
post #52 of 481
And I want to add...

Yesterday, my brother, brought my son SNOW from a trip he had been on (we don't have any right now... and my son could go out and play in it with NO ONE telling him it's to cold!!!
post #53 of 481
Oh my gosh, I keep thinking of more...

"We" don't get in trouble for being loud and obnoxious!!!!
post #54 of 481
This is fantastic!!! I guess I was starting to feel like I was one of few who really pefers to be manfree (I love that term!)
When my married friends seem like they are acting a little sorry for me, I just giggle inside.
Being single is the best way to be for me and I'm sure my daughter is happier than she would otherwise be.
I tend to want to recommend it when girlfriends complain about their mates. But I guess that's not very polite!


Happy Mommy to a wonderful 20 month old gal.
post #55 of 481
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post #56 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by EmmaJo'sMom
This is fantastic!!! I guess I was starting to feel like I was one of few who really pefers to be manfree (I love that term!)
When my married friends seem like they are acting a little sorry for me, I just giggle inside.
Being single is the best way to be for me and I'm sure my daughter is happier than she would otherwise be.
I tend to want to recommend it when girlfriends complain about their mates. But I guess that's not very polite!


Happy Mommy to a wonderful 20 month old gal.
If that isn't the truth! I always have to choke myself to keep from telling people to dump their husbands. It kills me to listen to all these women complaining because they "can't do this or that" because hubby objects. And yet, you can't make other women wake up to reality. When they are ready, they will know it.

For the record, I wouldn't take a man if he begged me to. I like myself, my life, my son and my child-to-be far too much to throw it away on a man.
post #57 of 481
I may be restating some of these but here is why I love being a single mom.

Acceptance- that the choices made are my own. I can stop blaming/being blamed but accept the repercussions of my actions and the reflections of me shining in my children or awakening me to what I will work on improving tomorrow.

Expectation- the only expectations to fulfill or fall short of are my own, which I can always remember that the sun will rise on a new day tomorrow and I will try harder, be stronger, and overstand myself and my daughters more.

Hopes and dreams- I can live each day to fulfill my hopes and dreams of having my own school and living in perfect balance with my children without getting lost in somebody elses ideas of a utopian life.

Not feeling funny about both my daughters and my cat going to the bathroom with me.

Listening to radio Disney in the car and not being embarrassed that I know the words to most of the songs.

Dancing and singing around the house.

Family time in bed, first thing in the morning without having to worry about waking up an adult that sleeps too late.

Blessings to all the single mothers. May we all have the strength to to love and live to the fullest each day and all the patience to succeed at one of the most demanding jobs, which never ends and no one ever takes over for second shift.
post #58 of 481

I need a mentor

Okay, I agree with everything that is wonderful about being a single mom, but I also feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the task.
I am a single mother of 4 (ages 4 to 12) and I feel like I NEVER get everything done that needs to be done. I never have enough money (my "child support" is $324/month...can you even call that child support??!) and I never have enough time to finish anything....My life has become the wasteland of the unfinished.
Any help on this issue would be greatly appreciated. Respond to kathirynne@lycos.com
post #59 of 481
Quote:
Originally Posted by kathirynne
I feel like I NEVER get everything done that needs to be done. I never have enough money (my "child support" is $324/month...can you even call that child support??!) and I never have enough time to finish anything
I've stopped trying to get everything 'done' and I just enjoy / love my babies!!! If housework, etc doesn't get done, oh well, I will never get back lost moments with my children!

As far as money is concerned I don't ever have enough of that either, but I have enough love and that is all my children crave right now!

'edited for typo' oops
post #60 of 481
Thread Starter 



Any one else?
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