Some are not "allowed" by the husbands to have their hair white; others are not "allowed" to have it painted (might allure other men to them, perhaps? Create a false impression of youngness and sexiness?). I am coloring my hair despite my dear 2nd h "orders" and getting the compliments only from other people.
Regarding yoga he's even more devious - "you just profess to doing meditations etc. but you don't really do them, that's why you are so nervous". (He, of course, has nothing to do with my nervousness, right?) BTW: when I do my meditations, or compose on the piano, he always interrupts; women can always be interrupted, can't we? Always available for whatever THEY want. like to talk about what they just read on the Internet.
God, I loved number 48 :"No more having to pat someone on the back for wiping down a sink and thinking they just climb Mt. Everest." He holds me so in debt for whatever he does of the chores it might really not be worth it. And we are talking about kids out of the house by now. My first h 's concept of cleanliness was vacuum clean once every 6 months. This one does more, but with tons of strings attached.
One would wonder why I stick with this second marriage (children are from first). After all a second marriage is mostly for fun, no? Most of the tensions are over, right? You should leave it if you feel abused, no? Well, under a deeper analysis the answer is probably:summarized in one word: fear. Fear of being alone, the fear of no touch, no sex, the fear of aging by myself, the fear of no dating sites for my chronological age on the Internet, the fear of old men trying to approach me ( I feel very young, really. Still have my periods - regular! Am attracted to younger men, but never do anything about that And would anybody be interested? ). The fear whoever I find will be worse, probably an older guy looking for a caretaker. The fear of approaching the gay community (always an option in the background).. Anybody in the higher (or lower) age level has anything to say? ( I started mothering late, so my daughters are now in their early twenties and I'm 58).
I remember with much longing the 12 years I slept with my dds in bed nursing through the night ,one on each side ( In earlier years with 1st h as well. He, being a hippie,,was positive towards my mothering practices, including no vaccinations, nursing late, sleeping in bed, but he was problematic on other scores). I didn't realize how many other single mothers love that so much...
Those were the days, my friend...
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