feeling so hopeless, family problems

[feebeeglee]

SIL and BIL are circumcising for the third time. Baby's four months old and they just adopted him on Monday. I've tried to talk with them before each time and gotten nowhere. When I called SIL in hospital with their second and asked 'How's P doing? " she says "Well they just took him for his circumcision" and I almost threw up. Like a punch in the stomach. ANd now this.

Four months old.

I am so sad. ANd angry. But mostly sad.

I sent him links to 'It's A Boy!' and I have talked with him before too (they live far away) and right now I am so emotionally overwhelmed I just don't even know what to do. He left a comment on my blog that really sent me over the edge but I restrained myself and came to post here.

I'm hugging my sons extra tight tonight. My beautiful perfect sons.

DH says he'll try to talk to BIL for me too, which I would welcome. It's a big deal because that is not his style at all, he'd prefer to be silent unless asked but show by example. I think we might have a little time but not much.

So sad guys. So horribly horribly sad.

Happy Thanksgiving, anyway.

[shishkeberry]

He felt the need to comment on your blog? :

so sorry for that baby

[intensity_too]

Big to you Fee. I don't know what to say. Some people are just too hard to get to, ykwim? Keep trying all you can to stop this torture from happening to this wonderful, perfect baby. In the end, no matter the outcome, know you did your best for him, pray for him, love him and apologize to him for the mistakes of his parents. Sometimes that is all we can do. I know it doesn't seem like enough but fee, I know you're going to fight the good fight for this baby boy.

[DesireeH]

Thats so sad. I am sorry!

The adoption process is probably confusing enough on a 4 month old, let alone getting a traumatic UNNEEDED surgery right away. Poor baby! I am so sad for him! Why cant they leave him how he was born?!

[Quirky]

I'm so sorry. I feel your pain - my BIL and SIL circed their 35 week, 5 pound baby boy 3 days after he was born by emergency section, despite the in-person pitch dh made for intactness and the articles we sent them. I am 100% sure if they have more sons they will cut them too. It is just too much to ask to get them to go outside their comfort zone (forget about the baby's comfort zone, that doesn't register).

It hurts when you're emotionally invested and you've tried your best for this innocent baby. Good for you for trying again, against the odds - you did the right thing, they did the wrong thing.

[crayon]

Why do people have or adopt perfect baby boys then cut their sexual parts?? Poor baby, I know how hard this is, my sister had her second son in june and left him perfect and intact for 2 weeks and then took him to get cut. So sad, I tried so hard, but it didnt work. I felt sick just talking to her about it.

I would at least call or have your DH call them and let them know that this baby really needs to feel support and love right now. A circ can play huge emotional toll on a baby that has been pushed around for months with out parents, he has to build trust with them. Circing is never good, but imagine having these people kissing on you and holding you and you have no idea what they are saying and you have a huge wall up because after all no one has ever really loved you, and you dont have 10 months in this ladys womb to listen to her voice, she just picks you up one day and you have your walls up but she seems nice enough so you start to lower the wall- just a bit, still not trusting anyone and then they decided the best thing for you is to strap you down to a board cut part of your penis and give you no pain killers for it or for the weeks after, and you are left once again to suffer- you think he will just take right back to trusting them? Maybe the should think about that.

So sad, hugs to you- you are such a great Auntie trying to protect this little boy.

[crayon]

you could always post your blog page and we can all comment on the wonderful world of intactness- maybe he will see it!

[grisandole]

I'm so sorry. How horrible! Poor baby You know, when you get homestudied to adopt, they ask quite alot about parenting style and such, and corporal punishment is a huge no-no. Too bad they don't make genital mutilation as important. You know, why approve a family that would cut up a perfect baby for no reason? Sick. It should be banned totally.

Kristi