It comes in waves..is this PPD?

[Summertime Mommy]

After I had Gwen, I had pretty bad PPD, I was on Wellbutrin, until I weaned myself off of it at about 30 weeks pregnant w/ Willow. Now that Willow is here, things are strange. Things will be really great, and I'll be super blissed out, and then it changes to me being the crazy monster who is contemplating suicide. Its like flipping a switch. I literally feel like I am going crazy. Right now is one of those times, I was doing good all day, and now I am going crazy. I can barely function, I keep thinking of ways I would kill myself if the kids didnt need me, I get angry about everything, cry about the stupidest crap. It is nuts, and of course there is no one here to help me at all. DH is gone w/ a friend somewhere and not answerring his cell. So 2 questions, what can I do now to get out of this funk, and should I call my dr about this? Thanks

[loftmama]

hey summertime mommy - i just saw your thread. i don't know much about ppd, but i hope you're okay. when my first was born, i had an expensive latte habit at the corner coffeeshop. my dh and i fought quite a bit about it, but i later convinced him it was what saved me from ppd. i frequently ate breakfast there, too. in fact, all the downtown business people got to see my dear child grow through his first year of life. i told my dh one day that i was saving him tons of money that would be going toward therapy and anti-depressants. he didn't bug me as much after that. i don't feel the need to go out so much now, but i remember that going-crazy feeling like yesterday. i am totally convinced, for me, that that was what saved me!

hope you're feeling so much better!

[Faithsmom]

If you're suffering from extreme highs and lows, that is what they call manic depressive disorder. Yes, it can also be due to the post partum period. You really need to get in contact w/ your doctor. You seem to have been able to ask for help in the past, and you seem to need it more than ever now. No one deserves to live like this, and if help is out there, you mneed to seek it. If you don't do it for yourself, do it for your children. They need a well mama to be there for them. They will always need you. Always. Keep us updated, and feel free to PM me if you need any more help. I have been through this recently myself.

[Danesmama]

Hey summertime Mommy. I hope you're feeling better today. . . I know what you mean, although my symptoms are mainly extreme anxiety and obsessing about things I can't change. I have moments when I feel good, can clean the house and get on with my life, but then something sets me off and I can't get anything done because I am nearly paralyzed with anxiety and feel a little bit like I'm going crazy too.

I worry about your suicidal thoughts mama - try to find somebody you can talk to or get some support from. Loftmama's suggestion of getting out sounds like a good one! Or come back to MDC and we can all talk about how we're feeling - I know it helps me to type my worries out.

[jchinique]

Hi, summertime mommy. Just wondering how you were doing and if you had a chance to call the doc. Email me if you wanna chat. I have been there.
deb

[Jish]

Anytime you have suicidal thoughts you should call a doctor (you meaning people in general.) If you are having thoughts of suicide, and contemplating how to do it, it is definitely time to see a doctor. Depression is a tricky thing since it manifests differently in everyone. There is no one thing that diagnoses whether you have depression/ppd or not. I'm like Danesmama in that mine tends to manifest in anxiety when it gets bad, but some days are definitely better than others.

IF you haven't seen a doctor yet, please do so, and let us know how you are doing. If you go to the top of the ppd page and take the quiz, it would be a great tool to print out and take with you to the doctor so that you don't have to try to remember everything you have been feeling -- it's all there on paper in front of you.

Good luck, and please let us know how you are doing.