I need quick comebacks and or advice...

[amyandelle]

Tomorrow is Elle's baptism and we will be around about 15 people who will all hate the fact that I want them to wash their hands before touching my dd. They all also know that I do not want them kissing her either but some of them never respect my wishes. They all think I am insane and that I am way to over protective. Elle is not at all vaccinated and even if she were I would still feel the same way seeing that we are now in the cold and flu season. My Mother, Brother, and Grandfather have all been at the hospital every day with my Grandma for over 2 weeks now. I explained to my Mom that they could be carrying germs around with them and that I would appreciate it if they would be extra diligent with hand washing and to please not kiss her at all. Well my Mom just started screaming at me over the phone telling me that I am insane and that she will not go anywhere near Elle tomorrow. I really just feel like calling the whole thing off but I can't seeing that it is tomorrow afternoon. I just don't understand what the big deal is. I myself wash my hands frequently throughout the day so it's not like i am asking her to do something I would not normally do myself. So I need some suggestions here on what to say to people if they start to make comments or if they refuse to wash their hands or start kissing my dd all over her face (my Mom's best friend will do this 100% guarenteed ).
Thanks,
Amy

[Ms. Frizzle]

I find the best way to handle that is to hold her in a sling the whole time. No one has ever tried to touch my baby while I am slinging.

[girlzmommy00]

I was going to say the same. A sling will keep her close to you. Most people won't get close since, horrors, they might get close to a breast or even happen to touch it while trying to touch the baby.

[rainbowmoon]

I definitly agree you can avoid alot of this by slinging her much of the time if possible! you don't have to explain yourself either, though I do think the handwashing thing is a bit extreme (but I can totally relate to how you feel about it and see why you are concerned). I felt alot like this when ds was born and I was in and out of the hospital a couple of times. my ds is not vaxed at all (nor do we plan to) and I was so petrified he would get sick. I just made sure to wash my hands often and kept purel nearby too. I also rationalized it to myself that he is getting immunity from germs by being exposed to other people. he might get sick or not, but he is healthy and strong and if he does get sick he will likely gain even greater immunity from whatever bug it is. (he's never been sick yet other than a runny nose from teething and is almost 9mo & f/f since 5mo) maybe you could also increase your vitc intake if you are worried. anyway I'm sure she will be just fine and not catch anything. try to take a deep breath and relax and enjoy the day!

hope your sweet Elle has a beautiful baptism!

[Meiri]

Are they going to be coming straight from the hospital to the baptism?

Otherwise, I'd presume all to be freshly showered and washed, not to mention in clean dress-up clothes, for the big event. In other words, the hospital visitations should be a non-issue.

If they were coming straight from visiting Grandma in the hospital, washing hands is indeed required.

I third, or whatever the # now is, the suggestiong to wear her. Frees your hands, keeps her happy, makes nursing easy, and makes it hard for them to force you to let them hold her if you don't want them to.

[starlite]

Even though you are very particular when it comes to washing hands and physical contact with people, you have the right to be respected EVEN if you are being a little over the top by most people's standards.

I don't think it would kill these people to humour you (even if they do think it's a little insane) and make a point of washing their hands before asking for a cuddle.

I used to be considered a little bit over protective myself, but luckily, most people I knew would respect my wishes anyway. Months and months later they teased me about it but I have gotta say I love these people for going along with me!!! I thank them now and say "Yeah, I was extreme but appreciated you guy's for putting up with it!" and most of them said it was no big deal. I feel guilty when I look back...I bought antibacterial liquad handwash and put them next to EVERY tap in the house. I would be rude enough to ask my mother in law (a midwife!!!) to wash her hands first and then cuddle ds. She obliged, and even though I was over the top, most people just got into the habit of respecting my cleanliness trip.

These people don't sound supportive in the same way - especially your mother!!! She shouldn't be screaming at you at this hormonal and vulnerable time in your life - that's not going to help you to overcome any irrational fears about germs. If people don't respect what your going thru - evn if they don't understand it - then they are not people worth having a whole lot to do with. I'm not suggesting you cut them off or be rude to them, but I do think that visits will be a polite minimal and if they are so interested in you and your family then they can accept the way things are done in your house!

I think it's worse when your in some public place with your baby (a mall, or supermarket for eg.) and some bastard in the line next to you starts coughing and sneezing completely uncovered in your baby's direction!!! That still gets me cross and to my husbands dismay I have no quarms about asking a person like that to cover their mouth in future!!!

Be assertive but tell your mum even though you may be a little irrational about germs she could really help you to relax by adhereing to the hand washing rule at least! She should understand this. Your not asking people to agree with you, just respect your wishes.

Good luck and listen to the advice of the above poster's: They have some fantastic advice, I like the idea about slinging it!!!

Good luck and have a wonderful baptism, with love from starlite.

[matts_mamamama]

We carried that waterless antibacterial stuff with us everywhere and simply handed it out as soon as someone reached for the baby. Got the point across with little issue. I couldn't've cared less if they were annoyed or bothered - my son deserves to have as few germs from people as possible. The alternative was staying away completely - so generally, they washed up!

Good luck!!

[Meli65]

I think Elle is about six months old? And I am presuming she is breastfed? In that case, I'd assume that her immune system is in pretty good shape (especially with no vaxes, good for you!) and might suggest in a very gentle way that you relax your standards a little. A few germs are good for a baby! Just my opinion -- good luck, hope it's a lovely ceremony. (I presume your minister/priest doesn't carry the baby around for the whole congregation to see up close, including the blind couple who run their hands all over the baby's face, as they did at my old church )

[amyandelle]

Thanks Mama's!!

I will definatly take my new Sachi Mei Tai with me!! It gives the the perfect chance to show it off !!
Amy

[Galatea]

Amy, I know how you struggle with your family. I think it *sucks* that you have to deal with so much flack from them. I think you should say something like, "You have had your children, I never told you how to raise them, and you can raise them however you want. This is my child, and I expect you to afford me the same courtesy." Repeat this every time you get crap.

I think you are right to be wary of the hospital germs and kissing during cold and flu season, but I think that other everyday germs are good for the immune system! For example, they have found that children who grow up in a home which is Lysoled and sanitized have higher rates of asthma and allergies. Just something to think about!

I hope it goes well today - let us know.

[mattemma04]

Hospitals have the most virulent(sp?) germs around,and try as they might staff can not clean it all up.You visit a hospital or nursing home and you are covered in germs..Sling,hand wipes,and *please don't kiss her today* will hopefully be enough. Amazing how even family can't respect a mothers request!
Best wishes for a good day!

[Amys1st]

Originally Posted by Meli65

I think Elle is about six months old? And I am presuming she is breastfed? In that case, I'd assume that her immune system is in pretty good shape (especially with no vaxes, good for you!) and might suggest in a very gentle way that you relax your standards a little. A few germs are good for a baby!

I agree! You are doing a great job Bfeeding and slinging. Its only going to get crazier over the next few months with the holidays and winter. The more prell you use, the worse off your immune system is. If the family is coming from the hospital, have them wash up, but otherwise calm the standards down since you daughter is going to start getting around and then she will really be bringing in the germs like you won't believe.

My DD was bfed until last month (2 1/2 years) so I am starting to think in the back of my mind- oh no she is going to get sick! But you have to ease up or you can make yourself crazy- especially with that crowd of a family!

BTW- Ditka and Halas- Bears fans?