Share your wackiest rules - Page 8

[mandachris]

more from dinner:

no, you can't sit in the highchair naked, crumbs will stick to your butt

you're not allowed to negotiate food trades with your sister when she doesn't understand what she's agreeing to


:LOL
Amanda
ds cole 2/26/01
dd grace 10/3/03

[lisahas2cats]

"Pet the kitty gently, with soft, *open* hands!"

I started telling DD that several months ago (she's 11 m/o now). For some reason it cracks DH and DS (almost 16 years old) up to no end.

I can't remember any from when DS was small, but I know there had to be some real doozies.

[TeaBag]

My just turned two yr old is potty training herself. From just this week...

"Only your fingers are allowed to explore your vulva."

"Please do not attempt to put a pen in your vagina"

And "Screaming "I pee and poop in the potty now!" is wonderful...doing it in the middle of the sermon at Mass is Not Appropriate!"

[mama2manykidlets]

oh i had to share some of ours..this thread is too funny!

-Don't jump into daddys lap knees first when he is napping on the sofa. it hurts him.
-your brothers penis isn't a pull toy. leave it alone.
-don't blow in the babies faces to see them jump
-if you poop in the cat box please leave it there. do not carry it to the toilet and flush it.
-when mama is in the shower,don't flush the toilet to hear her scream
-don't pull on the babys head when he's nursing and yell "it's my turn!"
-pulling down daddys pants to show strangeers he doesn't wear underwear is not allowed.
-mamas "toys" are not to used in the front garden as decorations.i don't care that it's shiny like the reflecting ball.

there are others but i am out of steam right now..i'm sure they will come to me!

[amberielle]

These are so funny! :LOL

Wait until you get to the bathroom to pull down your pants and underpants... DD has been known to pull everything down then run to the other end of the house to use the bathroom... usually she trips over her clothing and falls. She does this even when we have company.

No peeing in the yard. Especially in front of strangers.

You should wear at least underpants to dinner. If they get stains on them from dropped food, I will take care of it.

Ladies don't lift their dresses to play peek a boo with the baby and with strangers.

I know that there are more! :LOL

[passionfaerie]

1. No wallpapering the bathroom with kotex.
2. If its a school day you have to wear underwear.
3. No tying ropes to the furniture and then jumping off it.
4. NO DOODLEBOPS. EVER.

[BumbleBena]

Originally Posted by passionfaerie

1. No wallpapering the bathroom with kotex.
2. If its a school day you have to wear underwear.
3. No tying ropes to the furniture and then jumping off it.
4. NO DOODLEBOPS. EVER.

I must know... What is a doodlebop?

[mama2manykidlets]

oh i know this one! it is this horrid childrens show on disney channel or nick jr...it is the most irritating thing in the world! my neice watched it once at my house for 10 minutes..i hated it so much i unhooked the wires when she wasn't looking, oops,the tv isn't working right now!...lol..i'm soo mean,but it really is an awful show!

[Peppermint]

Originally Posted by APMom98

And "Screaming "I pee and poop in the potty now!" is wonderful...doing it in the middle of the sermon at Mass is Not Appropriate!"

Be thankful that it's not during the Consecration .

[TeaBag]

Originally Posted by Peppermint

Be thankful that it's not during the Consecration .

!

[mamabohl]

you know my son is absolutely terrified of the Doodlebops? :LOL

[passionfaerie]

They are horrible. There are very few childrens shows that terrify me the way they do.

[littlecityfarmer]

Am I the only onw who thinks these rules are pretty standard? The rules at our house are:

1) You must have a diaper and pants on at the table
2) You may neither hit nor bite the cats, knock them off chairs, or pull their tails. Same thing goes for sister (except the tail part).
3) Don't ask for help to climb up onto the counter to dance. You're not allowed to dance on the counter...

[luckylady]

Oh what a great morning laugh!

My wacky rules are (dd is 3-1/2)-

no jumping on the trampoline with sticks.
no helping mommy clean up dog poop (maybe when she's 7)
The dog is NOT a horse
It is not funny to grab the cat's tail and "drive" her around the house.
If you are planning on tackling me, you have to yell tackle first.
no climbing on the kitchen counter to get your own cup out of the cupboard.
CLOSE the freezer/fridge when you open it. GRRRRRR....
Do NOT scream in the car
I will only come into your room one time to tuck in your "foot that is sticking out". LOL.
no playing with mommy's scrapbook stuff. LOL. (she has her own stash)

I am sure there's more. LOL.

[J-Max]

We have a lot of these same rules :LOL

You can only ride the horses, and only if I am with and tell you you can.

Even if you already took a bath (this morning, yesterday, last night, ect) If I say you need a bath, you have to take one.

No swimming or diving in the above said bath.

Your sisters are not dogs, please don't whistle at them, pat your leg, and say, "come on girl."

Please don't chase cars along the fence and howl and bark with the dogs.

Sticks stay outside - no exceptions!

Please don't poop in the bath, it is not funny (to the 2 year old)

If you don't like your food after you have chewed on it, please don't put it on dad's plate, it makes him gag.

You have to wear underwear to the table, and please don't touch your vulva, vagina, bottom, ect while we are eating.

Please don't hide in the shower, closet, bed, ect, and try to see dad's penis when he is getting dressed, you know he does not think it is funny.

You can only sneek up behind people and ans scare them once per day. If you are not quiet when you sneek up and they are not scared, you can not be mad at them



From last weekend:

(for dd#1 - 6) If you have just spend the last hour showing your little sister how to run and slide through the fresh cow poop, DO NOT expect to ride home in my car, even if dad is not done fixing fence, you must wait and ride with him)

I didn't think we had so many! :LOL

[minkajane]

I have never laughed so hard at a thread in my entire life! I'm reading this at work and my coworkers keep giving me strange looks when I burst out laughing in a silent room...

Well, DS is only 9 months old, but we have a few:

- No pinching Mommy's nipple when you're nursing.
- No digging your nails into your scrotum. It makes Daddy wince.
- Smacking the cat is not the same thing as petting the cat.
- Paper is not a good snack.
- No digging your nails into Mommy's face.
- Yes, you may play with Mommy's cell phone in the supermarket, but don't throw it out of the cart onto the floor.
- Just because Mommy's drinking it doesn't mean you have to try it too. This especially applies to alcoholic beverages.
- Don't pull the kitty's ears, even if you think he likes it.
- Pick your own nose, not Mommy's.
- Don't eat food off the floor. You don't know how long it's been there.

*Whew* If I have this many now, how many am I going to have this time next year?

[meowmix]

Oh my, those are hilarious! We have a couple:

- Sing songs about poopy butts, farting, poop, etc in the bathroom only

- Don't encourage your sister to run away from mommy when I need to change her diaper.

- Make your dolls cry without doing a "fingers on the chalkboard screech" PLEASE make them cry quietly!

- Don't hit the cat with your toy vacuum

- Nature that is alive (ie: caterpillars and other insects) needs to stay outside

- Please PLEASE don't point and scream "Scary man!" and run behind me laughing whenever we encounter a man in the store.

- Don't say the same thing over and over again very loudly while mom or dad is trying to drive!

I have also told Rachael that she can't eat food she has found underneath isles at the store or other various places she seems to find food. I have told Rachael she may not eat the earthworm she is carrying. Please don't pick up the decaying dead bird and play with it like it's alive.

I am sure I have had others. Being a parent has you saying the weirdest things sometimes!

[Periwinkle]

No plastic castanets in the toilet
No peanut butter finger painting on the back fence
No using library books (i.e., with plastic dust jackets) as sticker boards (which actually works quite nicely as they peel right off but anyway...)

and

No pretending its raining while shaking the finch feeder

[Attila the Honey]

23 mo dd is potty learning and going undie/diaper free alot of the time, and she's learning new... interests, shall we say?

1. Don't tell Busha (gma) about your vulva. It freaks her out.

2. Don't talk about about other ppl's vulvas, esp. not in public. ("Look, a lady! Ladies and girls have vulvas!") It freaks them out.

3. Don't tell everyone you have ringworm. It freaks them out.

(of course, she can say 'ringworm' and 'vulva' as clear as a bell, no problems pronouncing THOSE words!)

[obiandelismom]

:LOL These are great! I'm feeling so "normal" all of the sudden! :LOL

Here are ours:

1. Potty talk is only allowed in the bathroom. (my 2yo will stand right next to the threshold of the bathroom, dart in, shout "POO ON YOUR PEE!" and run back out again)

2. No touching anyone else's penis.

3. No farting on Mama's head

4. No head-butting Daddy's "package".

5. If you are wrestling, and someone says "HALT!", then you must halt.

6. No bandaids unless there's actual blood.

7. No drinking chocolate syrup straight from the bottle.

8. Playdoh only at the table.

9. You can't have pb&j for more than one consecutive meal.

10. Your bottom does not need to suck a pacifier. Any pacifier that gets used in this way will be going into the "big trash."