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Share your wackiest rules - Page 2

post #21 of 235
these are SO funny...
keep in mind, dd is 2, ds is 5 months:
No sitting on your brothers head
No wiping boogers in mommys hand- keep them to yourself
No picking the red leaves off the bush out back and sticking them in the planter.
Do not bring the rose pots inside
No hanging from the bookshelf
No dancing on the table
No throwing your shoes off at people while in the stroller
No twisting daddys nipples
No pulling daddys chest hair
No screeching "hello" at people
No biting brothers toes
No dancing on brother
Don't dance on the drum
Don't dance on the guitar
Don't eat (insert messy food item here) and then wipe your hair out of your face

I can't think of anymore.I am sure there are a few funny ones.Great thread!
post #22 of 235
no flushing 8 feet of toilet paper down the toilet.
no wiping your nose on mama.
no compulsive handwashing.
post #23 of 235
You can only sit on mama's head for one minute... and you must at least have chonies on!
Please don't eat oo much of the dog/cat/mouse/rabbit/fish food.
Don't lick strangers, even if you are playing "puppy" when you meet them.
Don't eat things you find in public places.
post #24 of 235
Quote:
Don't tell the baby Daddy's home when he isn't. It's mean.
Holy cow, that is mean! I hope my big kid doesn't figure that one out.
post #25 of 235
Oh, here's another gem we say often...

It's only sharing if you BOTH agree to share it. Otherwise, it's just taking.
post #26 of 235
One more- no eating yard berries (anything that grows wild in the yard)
post #27 of 235
No spinning in the computer chair @ the computer desk...move it away first.
No licking the toys and then giving them to someone else
No licking somehting so no one else will eat it
No giving me the food out of your mouth...I love to share bites with you but please give me a fresh bite
No jumping from the 4th step...you must be on the bottom step to jump
No building forts around me so I can't see what you are doing (so you think)
No eating the gum off the bottom of the tables in food courts @ the mall
post #28 of 235
No telling little brother that your parents are gone and it's now just the two of you.
No asking little brother to go near your rear and then farting.
Potty-humour is only funny for short time-frames and must stop when it becomes too redundant.
Wrestling is not allowed at the top of the stairs nor is it allowed on the stairs or the kitchen table.
If you have a burning desire to know why someone is wrinkly or large or "smelly" etc. please ask me later and not right in front of said individual.
The bookshelf is not a ladder.
It is not "playing" if the other person is crying while you are attempting to sit on his head. (what is it with kids and sitting on heads??)
It is also not "just playing" if you are scaring the heck out of your crying little brother pretending to be a monster and chasing him around the house with a magic wand that will turn him into a rock.
Laundry detergent is not magic dust that will grant your little brother's wishes if you dump it on his head.
You do not "clean" the bathroom by dumping all your bathwater out of the tub onto the bathroom floor.
post #29 of 235
This is such a funny thread!

For us its this:
No playing in the bedroom, its for sleeping only
No jumping on the furniture only the rebounder
Only two probiotics a day
We must go outside for at least one hour a day no matter the weather
No eating anywhere but the table or the kitchen
No pooping in the yard without the camp potty
No whining or begging
Say please and thank you and excuse me
No picking of the nose without a tissue handy
Wash your hands first thing upon arriving home
post #30 of 235
This is fun! So far we only have a few...

No eating toilet paper from the potty (we only flush poopies to save water).
No drinking the dogs water.
Don't lick the spills from your dinner off the window (her chair is right next to the sliding glass door & when something gets flung or spills it's a race to see who licks the window first, her or the dog!)
post #31 of 235
: :
post #32 of 235
-No licking the baby.
-Only touch your own penis.
-Nothing around the neck.

There are probably more...
post #33 of 235
oh-
-No fingers in the ears when I'm talking to you.
-No blowing. (This is usually done in the baby's face.)
post #34 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bearsmama
--Only touch your own penis.

:LOL I shoulda put that on my list as well.
ooo and:
Colourful bits of plastic found outside on the ground are not candies.

The stuff in the kitchen garbage, although it may sometimes appear to be edible, is in fact, not.

You may not pat the fish.

Although the houseplant is yours, that does not mean that you need to feed it bits of your supper or carry it around the house to play with it.

Even though you "accidentally" push your brother off the couch because he is in your way, you still need to apologize.

You still need to go to bed even though your friend gets to stay up all night so you want to go live at his house.
post #35 of 235
Quote:
No licking somehting so no one else will eat it
He he. I used to do that to my little sister.

I thought of a few more:

- You must put on pants before you can come with us to answer the front door (unless we know it's grandma - she doesn't care!)
- Only flush once. And let go of the handle after you flush.
- Only two vitamins a day.
- You can only bring with you as many trains as YOU are able to carry, not as many as I can help you carry.
- No wrestling while chewing your food
- No pouring your cup of milk into the container of orange juice
- When we tell you to stop licking us, it is time to stop.
- Wait until the person is looking at you before throwing the ball at them.
- No jumping on mommy's back when she is bent over trying to change the baby's diaper.
- And no picking anyone else's boo boo's.
post #36 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dodo
Holy cow, that is mean! I hope my big kid doesn't figure that one out.
Just so no one thinks my son is a sadist...
dh drives an '86 chevy nova that has a very distinctive sound. So, whenever someone is mowing their lawn, it sounds like Daddy is home. Michael did this once by accident, and thought the baby running to the door saying "Da! Da!" was so cute, he kept doing it over and over. :

Annette nak
post #37 of 235
: :
post #38 of 235


~you have to wear clothes when we have company
~no dress up clothes on the dog
~no riding the dog
~do not wipe your nose on me or the furniture!
~no licking people, especially the babysitter
(I did not realize the last two were so universal, just thought my kids were strange. )
post #39 of 235
These are funny!!

We have:

No peeing in your diaper (she was pee-trained and went coverless for poo)
No wiping snot on Daddy

:LOL
post #40 of 235
Oh. My. God. There are so many other people out there in the world who have kids who wipe their snot on them!!!!!! And here I've been feeling like the only one......

:LOL

We have a few boring rules, like no running with food in your mouth, don't put strings around your neck, don't put strings around your brother's neck either, no spitting food at the table, please flush the loo after a poo, etc. etc. And I am definitely not to be used as a hankie!

I'm sure we must have some strange ones, too, just can't think of them at the moment.....
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