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Share your wackiest rules - Page 11

post #201 of 235
10/12/05 at 10:07pm
Wow...this is so great. I just said to DH, I thought we were the only ones who had a no pinching/hitting daddy's penis rule! And the other one about pulling fingers - you're so right, it IS a daddy game.

Some of ours:

No sucking on the vacuum cleaner hose
No plugging/unplugging anything - no matter how fun it is or how many sparks there are.
No eating the keyboard keys.

DS is only 13 months, so we don't have many yet, but I bet we will!

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post #202 of 235
10/12/05 at 10:12pm
Only touch your own penis. Except for Mommy. I can touch all the penises.
post #203 of 235
10/12/05 at 10:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie
If you have an accident and get a towel from the bathroom to clean it up, kindly do NOT hang the pee towel back up where you found it. It makes Mama's hair smell yucky.
:LOL My girlfriend's kid did this, except it was poop, and her husband's hair. Which was so appropriate, because the guy's such a shithead!
post #204 of 235
10/12/05 at 11:14pm
"yes..you must wipe EVERYTIME"
"You may not bounce the baby in the bouncy chair" (picture a catapult)
post #205 of 235
10/12/05 at 11:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by hipumpkins
"yes..you must wipe EVERYTIME"
And for potty training dd.....Please do not attempt to wipe yourself after you've pooped. Let's work on getting the poop in the potty first and *then* we'll work on the wiping part. When you do it yourself, you end up with poop all over your hands and therefore the toilet and therefore your legs and therefore your clothing....and I get tired of cleaning all that poop!!
post #206 of 235
10/13/05 at 10:53am
No running over the rice crispies...

My dd gets the box of rice crispies out of the cupboard and runs over them with her ride on toy....brings a whole new meaning to snap crackle and pop!
post #207 of 235
10/14/05 at 3:17am
My craziest home rule to date is 'You can't eat Mama's cell phone" (he is 1 and he likes to try to eat my antenna)

My craziest rule for my preschoolers---the other day I had to tell one of them that I was NOT a climbing toy, thank you!
post #208 of 235
10/14/05 at 11:09am
This is soo funny!

Ok heres ours

Only use a few sheets of toilet paper to wipe our bums, not the entire roll (yes we have had a couple incidents with the roll in it whole sate being used)

Only 3 max vitamin C's a day

The baby is not a horse, no riding him

No smelling daddy's feet ( yes my 2 yo likes to smell his feet, and they don't smell good, LOL)

No jumping on the bed when daddy is sleeping

No diving off the toilet into the bath tub

No horsy rides with daddy unless you are wearing a diaper or pants

No putting the baby under laundry baskets, he can not be a part of your zoo
post #209 of 235
10/14/05 at 2:31pm
I second the TP one, my oldest used to put tons in there lol. My toddler just wants to unroll it, all over the place.

We made a new rule this week. For the 22 month old. No matter how much you love the baby, when he is in his bouncy seat, no laying on top of his to hug / kiss him. Same goes if he is in the swing, no swinging with him.
:LOL
post #210 of 235
10/14/05 at 11:23pm
No driving motorcycles on the baby's forehead.
post #211 of 235
10/15/05 at 1:15am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Apryl Srissa
I second the TP one, my oldest used to put tons in there lol. My toddler just wants to unroll it, all over the place.

We made a new rule this week. For the 22 month old. No matter how much you love the baby, when he is in his bouncy seat, no laying on top of his to hug / kiss him. Same goes if he is in the swing, no swinging with him.
:LOL
We are in the middle of this issue with my 2yo dd. She likes to a) unroll it all, b) put it ALL in the toilet, c) run around the house dragging it behind her, d) dry her hands on it, e) poop on the rug and clean it up with toilet paper (I swear she waits until I take her diaper off for the bath and immediately runs into the bedroom to poop. I like letting her be naked, but it's getting to be a constant routine!). The other day I was in the bedroom and heard her saying "no! no!" and came into the bathroom to see her unrolling the tp. Somehow I don't think the intended message is getting through...
post #212 of 235
10/15/05 at 2:52am
No eating food out of the trash can
No need to wipe your butt until it bleeds
No pulling mom's public hair while in the shower (has lead to mommy showering ALONE!)
No feeding the baby dirt

H
post #213 of 235
10/15/05 at 4:22am
How about 'your fingers do NOT go in MOMMY'S mouth!!' (my 12 mo old has an obsession lately with sticking his fingers in my mouth, dont ask me why but it's a favorite before-bed while snuggling game and it drives me CRAZY!)

fortunatley I have found if I shut my mouth real tight he tries again but then he will just look, smile and give up.....

I don't really know WHY that drives me insane it just does.

I liked 'paper is not a good snack' I would like to add that neither are the plastic wires that hold the toy in the box, or a piece of styrofoam cup (we were at a hotel)......neither is MOMMY'S CELL PHONE ANTENNA!


I really hope I never have to tell my son that pooping in the tub is not funny or that his butt does not need a pacifier..........

And I have a new one inspired by the neighbor kids--NO DUMPSTER DIVING!! (I live in a little 9 apartment building across from an elementary school so a couple kids that age live here and today they were playing in the newspaper recycle dumpster.....I came in and told DH I have a new aspiration in life--to be an attentive enough parent to know and go out and STOP MY KID if he is DUMPSTER DIVING....eww....LOL)
post #214 of 235
10/15/05 at 11:33am
No, you may not toilet-paper the cat!

Please don't try to help the dogs poop. It will come out on it's own.

Please don't suck on the sidewalk chalk. (Just the thought makes me squirm)

Once something goes in the garbage, it should stay there.


I LOVE this thread
post #215 of 235
10/15/05 at 7:34pm
No death scenes during dinner.

Our DD is very dramatic. Always has been. She and her father create all these "Backyard Thespians Productions" (little plays, skits, songs, dances, etc).

She went through a phase where she pretended to faint (dramatically! - hand to the forehead, eyes rolling up, "Ooooh!") during dinner. It progressed to death scenes. Long, overly dramatic, really funny death scenes, complete with willing her earthly posessions to her father and I.

Yes, they were hilarious. The first several times. And then they moved more towards disruptive interruptions to a family dinner.

Gee, now I miss them, ha ha. DD is nine now. She still does "Backyard Thespians Productions". Sometimes they grow to include neighbor kids, ha ha. And yes, we're letting her explore dance, music and acting just as much as we can.
post #216 of 235
10/15/05 at 8:27pm
We've only got two really odd ones:

- Don't lick the floor
- Feet don't belong in the castle

And while she may exhibit odd behavior, we don't usually have a problem with it. However when we add a son to the mix - I'm sure it'll get interesting!
post #217 of 235
10/15/05 at 8:49pm
don't put stickers on the dog. he doesn't like it.

don't put your finger in the dog's butt. he doesn't like it.

don't try to wag the dog's tail for him. he can do it himself.

don't draw on the wall with your wooden doll (horrible noise!!)

don't lick the fish tank

post #218 of 235
10/16/05 at 2:06am
This is the greatest! Here are ours (some repeats I noticed, glad to see I'm in good company)
-You can only touch your own penis!
-Only "drink" your brother's "baba" (breastmilk) if he OKs it
-No pooping in the yard, EVER!
-No pooping on the front porch or the back porch
-No laughing when someone poops in the yard (or does another known illegal act)
-Do not ask your brother to bite you and then tattle on them
-Only talk about poop if whomever your talking to says they don't mind
-You have to talk or scream or yell everytime we are outside
-Please do not go outside naked to greet company (my 5yr old actually GOT nakie, wasn't already undressed, when my grandma came over and ran out to the street and greeted her!)
-Don't "wag" your naked butt at me, it's rude!
-When at other people's houses shut the door when you go potty, and wait until you get to the bathroom to undress
-Don't ask your brother to bite you and then tattle on him (it's mean)
-Sit down in shopping cart, and buckle seatbelts or we won't go anywhere (I really enforce that one)
-Wash hands every time we come home, and EVERY time you go poop
-mommy is the only one in the house allowed to do the wiping
-No putting mommy's nipple in your ear during naptime babas (it's ok during any other time were he's not supposed to sleep) (It's really a strange thing I think, anyone else's kid had a weird nursing quirck like this?)

wow that's alot of rules! didn't realize we had so many, I'm sure there is more too. Maybe I should eaze off on some.....nah!
post #219 of 235
10/16/05 at 10:41am
No nursing while mommy is pooping. That boy has no couth.
post #220 of 235
10/16/05 at 10:03pm
Do not climb on the church balcony railing and say "MOM! LOOK AT ME"!!!

Do not crawl into mom's bed in the middle of the night if you are NAKED!

You may not dance and sing on the coffee table with only a shirt when we have company!!!


FYI: THESE ARE FROM MY NINE YEAR OLD!!!
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