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Share your wackiest rules - Page 3

post #41 of 235
We definitely have the "nothing around your neck" rule....she always wants to pretend she is a tied up animal

We can play rhyming in restaurants while waiting for food, but no rhyming the words: smart, hoop, three, shiny, mutt, sugar, venus, or mulva
post #42 of 235
Biting and pinching are not allowed. Licking and kissing are fine.

Do not put food in daddy's boots.

Do not chase or bother our old dog. She is old and doesn't feel good. However, you can chase or bother Mommy, even though she is old and doesn't feel good. lol

If you insist on taking seven toys on a hike, you must carry them. Mommy is not a sherpa.

I am sure there are others. We also have the snot-on-mom-or furniture problem.
post #43 of 235
Quote:
If you insist on taking seven toys on a hike, you must carry them. Mommy is not a sherpa.




Yep, we've got that rule too.
post #44 of 235
You can't play with your penis while in the tub with your sister.

Don't touch the hole under the dog's tail.

No pulling daddy's finger, especially when he asks you to.



I have more funny rules for dh than the kids.
post #45 of 235
We have a few oddball ones:

-Don't stick anything into the dog. This includes fingers and toes.
-Leave the dog's penis alone.
-Don't stick anything into your nose/eyes/ears/vagina.
-Don't put stickers on Daddy, he doesn't like it.
-When your little sister starts to cry, it's time to stop hugging her. Yes, I know you were just loving her, but she's finished.
-You may not pet the fish. No, you may not kiss them either. Yes, kissing the tank is fine.
-No sitting on your sister's head (seems to be a lot of that going around. I guess it's not so unusual)


Bec
post #46 of 235
Two more that came up just this morning...

Penises are private

and

Don't play the harmonica with bread in your mouth

Annette
post #47 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunchbox
Mommy is not a sherpa.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunchbox
If you insist on taking seven toys on a hike, you must carry them. Mommy is not a sherpa.
Oh, I like this one alot!! I'd like to think that we have no "rules" in our house, except for safety issues of course, but the truth is I've heard myself utter these tidbits a few times. All of them have been broken by the way......

1) Please do not use the toothbrush to brush your penis.....Ok, fine, use yours but not anyone else's.....um, ok, use mama's but you aboslutely can not use daddy's.
2) Mama is not a jungle gym. Daddy is a jungle gym. Please act accordingly
3) Not everyone wears a cushiony diaper. Please be careful when bouncing on mama and daddy.
4) Grown-ups need privacy to poop.
5) Please don't try to latch on to daddy's nipples. Especially in public.

h*mama
post #48 of 235
When I first read this thread, I thought, "Oh, I have so few rules and they are all so obvious and boring, like 'don't stand up in the bathtub, you could slip', 'the stove knobs are not for you' and 'please keep the water in the sink.'"

But then this morning ds was helping me fold the laundry, which is his new absolute favorite game, and I said, "Those are Daddy's underpants. Please don't put things that go on other people's tushies on your head, honey. Remember?"

Okay, I guess that is a bit arbitrary of me...
post #49 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by captain optimism
I said, "Those are Daddy's underpants. Please don't put things that go on other people's tushies on your head, honey. Remember?"

Okay, I guess that is a bit arbitrary of me...
Underpants make the very best hats. Didn't you know?


Bec
post #50 of 235
: This is great!


No putting coins in the dishwasher vents -he likes the jingly sound it makes when mommy opens the door.

No M&M in your diaper

No pretending your on a deserted island and you have to eat my houseplants

No jumping from my dresser to my bed while I'm sleeping in it! Wait till I get up please.

And we also have the snot and penise rules as well.

I'm definatly instituting the -Mommy is not a sherpa- rule, Thanks!
post #51 of 235
I am laughing SO hard right now!

Ours are pretty boring....mostly general no beating up the baby rules.

And
no licking the kitty and complaining to me about hair in your mouth
no playing in the litterbox or the toilet
no sticking the end of the tp in the toilet and flushing repeatedly
no spitting on the baby
no licking the food off the babies face
no teasing the dog with your food
no unraveling momma's crocheting just for funsies - if you want to know what it looks like I'll chain you a big long one!
no putting things in the babies diaper
do not leave crayons on the floor - dog and baby both eat them and we had several rainbows in the yard and the diaper for a while!
post #52 of 235
Don't take food off other people's plates (as she tries to swipe some stranger's fries :LOL)

No, you may not pour your drink on your plate and lap it up like a dog or drink it with a spoon in public. (ok at home though).

No, mommy does not like her bread to be dipped in water before she eats it.

No, you may not eat just plain margarine or butter.
post #53 of 235
:LOL :LOL :LOL : :
post #54 of 235

I know there are a few other posts like this but...

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL

I am excited and horrified to reach the stage where we make rules like this.

For now, we are limited to:

1. No grabbing fistfuls of the cats' skin/ fur
2. No grabbing fistfuls of mommy/ daddy's skin/ hair
3. Yes I know it's fun, but still... no
post #55 of 235
I just put this one down, 5 min. ago.

I heard my 15 month old wake up from his nap and decided to get my 6 year old up from hers b/c I knew she wasn't asleep anyway.
I go in there ( they share a room) and was going to use dd bed to dress ds. I discovered she ( my 6 yo ) had chewed ( yes chewed ) the corner of her comferter on her bed. IT WAS SOAKED WITH SPIT!!!
THIS COME 2 DAYS AFTER SHE CHEWED THE CRAP OUT OF HER SHIRT WHILE SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE A NAP.

SO, new rule: NO CHEWING ON YOUR CLOTHES, COVERS, PILLOW OR SHEETS.
I WILL GET YOU A TEETHING RING IF NEED BE!
post #56 of 235
:LOL These are too funny! The only one I can think of right now is "Keep your feet away from the baby!" (Distilled from "don't stand on the baby" "don't kick the baby" "don't use the baby as a footstool") Oh and "Don't touch the baby's head".
post #57 of 235
I'll add:
no asking other people for french fries at In and Out.
don't roll your brother across the floor
don't kick brothers face repeatedly
don't spit out one bite of food to eat something more enticing
no touching brothers penis
don't throw things in the shopping cart when I'm not looking
don't sit backward in the cart
don't eat cd's
don't try to drink daddys wine
don't steal brothers pacifier and use it yourself
post #58 of 235
Just instituted this one tonight for my 20 mos old.

No practicing jumping in the bathtub.
post #59 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by JesiLynne
I just put this one down, 5 min. ago.

I heard my 15 month old wake up from his nap and decided to get my 6 year old up from hers b/c I knew she wasn't asleep anyway.
I go in there ( they share a room) and was going to use dd bed to dress ds. I discovered she ( my 6 yo ) had chewed ( yes chewed ) the corner of her comferter on her bed. IT WAS SOAKED WITH SPIT!!!
THIS COME 2 DAYS AFTER SHE CHEWED THE CRAP OUT OF HER SHIRT WHILE SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE A NAP.

SO, new rule: NO CHEWING ON YOUR CLOTHES, COVERS, PILLOW OR SHEETS.
I WILL GET YOU A TEETHING RING IF NEED BE!

T I just entered into the realm of chewed up fabric with my older son. In doing a little research I learned that, in fact they are teething at this age. The big teeth are growing down, others getting loose etc. I offer a cloth. I also heard it could mean they have worms.
post #60 of 235
the dogs' water dish is not a pool
the toilet is not a pool either
no more balls in the subwoofer
don't ride napoleon (yorkie)
we don't *eat* bubbles, we *blow* bubbles
flowers like their petals, don't keep ripping them off
the sofa is not a trampoline
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