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Share your wackiest rules - Page 4

post #61 of 235
Oh Jesilynne, she's your first chewer, isn't she? I do sympathise!! If you come up with a good, gentle solution to the problem, I'd love to hear about it! Just for a bit of background, my DD (6) has chewed the necks of about... oh 8 or so nice shirts or dresses recently. Just today I took her out in public & she chewed her hankie the whole time. I see her school uniform & can count the teeth marks, although this is getting better now. And just for good measure, DS (now 4) is on his second woven cloth blanket, after chewing the first one to bits. It looks like he is up for a third blanket soon. What can ya do, ya know? At least chewing doesn't seem to disrupt the teeth like thumb-sucking does......

oh yeah, mamajama, just a quick thought..... we live in the tropics & worm regularly. My little darlings still chew, bless 'em......
post #62 of 235
Thread Starter 
:

Gosh, an anthropologist would have a lot of good material here! Lots of snot issues, sitting on heads, and Daddy's nipples seem to be in great danger! :LOL I'm writing a book on gentle discipline and I'm getting some great inspiration here, too, and some quotes I may be able to use in a little side-bar. Thanks! And keep'em coming!
post #63 of 235
No eating the catfood and then giving Mommy a kiss
No wrapping Mommy's bra around your neck!
post #64 of 235
* If the baby is crying, it's not a fun game.
* Do NOT hop on pop (trying to keep my nephews off
of my FIL while he is sleeping)
* Tampons are not nunchucks (sp?)
* The cat box is not for digging.
post #65 of 235
No drinking the bath water, you just farted in it.

No laying, sitting, sleeping on the cat, she will eventually scratch you.

Once food is in your mouth, chew and swallow it.

Please leave all pincher bugs, rolly pollies, worms, spiders, crickets, banana slugs, and salamanders outside. They like it there!

We have others, but they are mostly about how many books you can look at/read while on the potty/going to bed....
post #66 of 235
Kazmir: is it ok to drink the bathwater before you fart in it?

We have lots of weird rules but the strangest one is actually for grownups: Before using the toaster, check for little plastic animals- our last toaster and a 2 inch zebra shared a sad and smelly demise. No idea how it got in there, she can't reach the toaster.
post #67 of 235
Only touch your own penis

Mama is not a Sherpa

Also:

Do not climb into the front windows while naked!

No hitting up total strangers for money!

And no bludgers in the living room!!
post #68 of 235
noses are not for biting
yes its fun to feed the baby like she was a puppy, but she's not
people who make excuses must wear a (clean) diaper for each excuse on some part of their body unitll I say it can be removed
no jumping on the bed unless mommy is present
mommys shirt is not a napkin
(and for DH) no distracting mommy at the store so you can put goodies in the cart!
post #69 of 235
no running on the couch
no climbing on mama's butt
the toilet plunger is not a toy
please stop biting mama's back while we're out in the mei tai
and, last but not least, mama's boobies are not drums :LOL
post #70 of 235
Quote:
Originally Posted by djinneyah
the toilet plunger is not a toy
In our house it is.....we had a new one we'd never used and ds found it one morning. He loves it so much, I don't have the heart to take it away.

I'll add a new one though:


Chopsticks may be used to:
1)eat 2)drum 3)retend drive 4)hug
Chopsticks may not be used to:
1)perform nose surgery on mama 2) put in your diaper
post #71 of 235
We figured out this one last night with my 16 month old...

No sticking car keys in mommy's ear.

And...I think that's it for right now....
post #72 of 235
Oh man, this is a great thread! I don't have any yet, dd is 3 months next week, but I sure can't wait to try some of these out!! The most important one though...

Mommy is NOT a sherpa! (and for dh, WIFE is not a sherpa!)
post #73 of 235
: What a great thread!

-You can play "bongo butt" (yep, playing bongos on daddy's covered butt cheeks) but no "bongo penis" when he's changing clothes because that hurts and you can only touch your own penis anyway

-No eating the cat food

-No telling Grandma that her food is dry and yucky, even though it is, because that hurts her feelings

-Do not wipe your gooey hands on other people's clothes, use a napkin

-Do not lick people

-Only eat by sticking your whole face in the plate when you're at home and we have no company
post #74 of 235
"Don't chew on your underwear."

To dd, 4, last night.

Pick your own nose.
Don't yell "Mother of Pearl! Fire on the poop deck" unless we are at home.
post #75 of 235
-"Mommy I'm done poopin'!!" is not an appropriate way to request that I wipe your butt. Question form, with a please at the end, is the only way your tushie is getting wiped. Also, ask daddy occasionally too. I know I'm the "best butt wiper ever" but give daddy the chance to become great also.

-No riding the dog. No, she's not your horse.

-No showing the dog your vampire teeth in your mouth. It makes her nuts.

-Little green army men do not need to slide down the blind strings (2 new sets of blinds in the last 3 months ). Do not touch the blinds.

-No petting the fish.

-No tying anything up. Not the chairs, the stair railings, the dog, your clothes, my nice purses, the door knobs or yourself.

-Don't scrape anything on the walls. That noise makes me come completely unglued.

-No making your own toast, especially when mommy is outside with the dog.

-No answering daddy's work phone.

-You bring it, you carry it. I will only carry hats and gloves. Lemurs, bears, lions, baseball hats, lightsabers, swords, baseball gloves, handcuffs and trains are not mine. I carry my things, you carry yours. I love the mommy is not a Sherpa rule. I even got ds a tiny backpack when he was 2, he's carried all his own stuff since then, even diapers
post #76 of 235
here's another one

no sticking fingers in people's ears while they are sleeping :LOL
post #77 of 235
no pouring the water from the peri bottle(used for diaper wipes)in the frisbee and drinking from it!

dd loves to do this
post #78 of 235
Oh, and: ob tampons are not candy!
post #79 of 235
#1: It's ok to lift Mama's shirt 1000 times a day to ensure my boobs and belly button are still where they were on times 1-999, but please don't do it in public and never do it to anyone other than Mama. People, especially women, find it disconcerting.
#2: Although I wipe your bottom, I really don't need your help wiping mine. Thanks anyway. And it's ok to scream "bye bye poopie" or "bye bye peepee" while we flush at home, but it's probably not that appropriate elsewhere.
#3: No licking Mama's glasses when she's wearing them ... or even when she isn't wearing them, for that matter.
#4: When Mama says "Buttons!" in a loud voice, that means don't touch the: remote controls, the phone, the stereo, the stove knobs, my cell phone or Palm Pilot, etc. We've already lost the color on one TV after you did something I have yet to figure out. You have lovely toys with every manner of button built for futzing with; please play with them instead.
post #80 of 235
No, you may not redistribute the mail.

(we live in an apt, and people put mistaken mail in this box on the bottom of the actual mailboxes and dd likes to take it and stick it into the slots on random people's mailboxes)
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