DH going away- ideas needed

[juicylucy]

DH travels a lot with work, and I find it harder and harder each time he leaves. This time he is going to Japan for two weeks. I cannot call him when I want, because I am not allowed to know where he goes (his job is like that.) That makes me so anxious. He calls me everyday, but I still feel very much on my own here. I have no family to help, and I have two very clingy, needy toddlers (ages 1.5 and 3.5) The youngest especially has major seperation anxiety right now, and freaks out if I even just go to the bathroom. The eldest acts up a lot when DH is away because they are very close, and he misses him. I feel suffocated when I am on my own with them. I hate admitting that, but I do. I get no time to myself. My youngest DS gets up when I do, and goes to bed when I do, so he is on me all day long.

Anyway, I am not sure what I am looking for here really! Ideas on how to keep them occupied and happy? My patience level is a lot lower when DH is away, and I find myself shouting more than I want to. DS1 goes to preschool three days a week, which helps a lot, but it is the evenings that are the hardest time for me.

This post is very disjointed- sorry. If anyone else has a husband that travels, I would appreciate hearing what you do to keep the kids happy, and to stop yourself going crazy.

[mattemma04]

My dh is a trucker and comes home for 2-4 days every 2 or 3 weeks. I have a 5yo dd and a 2.5yo ds.

We spend a lot of time at home and during that time we....read,draw,cut stuff,do crafts,clean,tend to the animals,watch movies,play video games,cook,make play dough and goop to play with,build with blocks/wooden train set,play kitchen.When we go out we go to...playlands,the library,goodwill(kids play with toys while I shop),visit friends.DD is homeschooled now so they are both with me 24/7. I like it that way,but there are times I get frustrated especially since my ds is in a hitting stage and makes dd scream all the time by hitting her. When my dh is home he really doesn't want to help much with the kids...he wants to relax. My time to unwind is when I get the kids in bed(family bed). Hope you find something that works for you.Hugs!

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Hey -- I'm in San Diego too! Luckily, my DH doesn't travel too often. While I don't have family here, I have definitely turned to my friends more when DH is out of town. Do you have a good friend who you would be comfortable swapping child care with so you can get out every now and then? Or even if you have a friend come over to "hang out" in the evenings or during the day, that can really help the feeling of being smothered and isolated.

When I feel like that (and I do, a lot), we find somewhere to go -- the park and the zoo are favorites. There are also lots of free activities listed in the San Diego Family magazine (which is also free). I always look each month for interesting stuff to do on "mommy days".

If your economics permit, we have fallen in love with a couple of the new "indoor play grounds" in our area. You have to pay fee to get in, but I am very comfortable letting the kids run on their own (mine are 5 and almost 2) once we are there, and I can read a book or something while they play safely with toys that we don't have at home -- and I don't have to clean up after them.

[juicylucy]

Evan and Anna's mom, where are the indoor playgrounds? That sounds wonderful! Thanks for the suggestions- I do have friends here (mostly wonderful ladies I have met from here- you should come to our parkdays!) but they all have kids of their own that they are understandably busy with. I have don't have anyone who lives close that I can hang out with though. I did have a friend who was single, and we used to hang out a lot, but she just moved to Ramona She was great because she didn't have kids of her own, and she loved helping out with mine! Evenings are the worst time really.. I can always find something to do in the day.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Yeah, evenings are hard when DH has a meeting or something. A couple of friends have really little babies and they come over in the evening because babies are so portable. I've also been known to import my nieces (ages 10 and 12) for an evening of "play with the kids" just to keep myself sane. Bonus -- the kids fall asleep in the car when I drive them home. Any potential mother's helpers in your area that you could have come for a couple of hours?

Unfortunately, most of the playgrounds I've found are only open during the day. We love My Kid's Clubhouse in Poway and have been known to hang out for 4 hours or so. They have the big play structures that I jokingly call Human Habitrails (think McDonalds without the food), a ball pit, a house keeping play area, a separate toddler area, dolls, dress up clothes, markes and coloring pages... All enclosed, clean, toddler-proofed and visable from everywhere. Nursing rocker, bean bag chairs, and a cafe for the adults. But only open until 5 or so, so no help in the evenings. There is also Kidsville, also in Poway, that has less physical play areas and more imaginary play areas. I love the fact that its safe and clean and I can let the kids run with the other kids without too much worry. The gates are all electronically controlled from the front and they check wristbands to make sure kids are going home with the right adults. Its worth the entrance fee ($7/kid, discount for siblings, under 1 free, adults free) just for the peace of mind. That and the fact that I don't have to eat fast food to satisfy their desire to go to a playplace. Not sure if there are others in the city or not -- these are the ones that are close to me.

Actually, I've followed the park days planning on the tribes area, but I'm only free on Tuesdays and Thursdays (work MWF) and you guys are always meeting on other days. Plus it seemed like such an established group, I felt like I'd be crashing even just adding an email. Probably silly of me.