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Cesarean Birth Support Thread -- December 2004 - Page 5

post #81 of 98
I think this is the place for me! I will intro myself and keep it brief as I can so that I can come back and read everything later.

5 years ago I was pregnant with DD#1. Planned homebirth until I was 41 1/2 weeks. Had biophysical profile to make sure baby was o.k. to carry longer, found out she was breech. Lost plug that night at home and called midwife ASAP to let her know about the breech presentation. Went to hospital next day, met doctor, had ultrasounds to try to determine what kind of breech she was, they couldn't tell. (If she had been frank breech I would have requested a trial of labor because I know my mother gave birth to me this way). Midwife told me recent studies had shown that breech babies do better when delivered by c-section. I balled my eyes out and then we went home to tell DH's family and prepare for my hospital stay. 4:21 P.M. DD#1 arrived in the world frank breech via c-section. No big deal physically, (I am used to surgeries), but psychologically I suffered for several years, had trouble breastfeeding at first, had trouble bonding with this strange child that my brain did not recognize as mine, and most of all I had trouble (and still do) with the fact that I was not there when she met her family for the first time. The hospital stay was also horrendous, nurses were nasty, lactation consultant was incompetent, roomates were noisy and my DD still has a band of dots around her ankle where some nurse got fed up and put her hospital i.d. bracelet on too tight. She just turned 4 1/2 and has been weaned for only 6 months.

DD#2 (and last): Started TTC at 18 months, took another 18 TC. Brutal pregnancy. Planned for a VBAC possibly at home if my instincts told me I was safe there. Found out at 32 weeks that I had GD and had to be transfered to the care of an O.B. (Prick). Very first visit he told me I would have to deliver at 38 weeks or there would be no baby, no further explanation. He scheduled my c-section and sent me home. I was livid! Went home and researched everything I could about GD, went into battle. With several NST's, and a lot of flat out bitchiness, I convinced him to re-schedule for 39 weeks and to attempt an induction by breaking my water. Took herbs, raspberry leaf tea, caullophyllum, evening primrose oil, had midwife strip my membranes twice, walked, walked, walked, had sex every night. Cervix was favorable, 50 % effaced and malleable, but closed. Went in and had my water broke, meconium in the fluid. Labored for several hours and never dilated any farther than what the balloon catheter had done. Felt that my instincts were telling me it was time to give up and get my baby out before she went into distress. She was born at 12:23 A.M. and had some meconium in her throat, but not her lungs, just in time.

I have tried to talk to people about how much grief I felt that I would never know what it is like to give birth and I keep getting the same reply "a c-section is giving birth too" I can not bring myself to accept this. My body failed me twice. I have accepted the fact that I will never give birth to a baby though, reinforced by my husband's vasectomy in August. I have comforted myself this time by drawing the conclusion that my childhood car accident has caused a distortion in my pelvis that keeps my babies from coming out the way they should. I have reasons to believe that this is true and even if it is not, it is at least plausible and brings me comfort that I did not fail my babies.

Breastfeeding has also helped me regain some of what was lost, my efforts did not bring them into this world, but they sustained them and comforted them for 4 1/2 years so far.

One of the most powerful things I did this time around is to have a blanket for my baby to be wrapped in after birth that smelled like me from wearing it and sleeping with it so that she would recognize my scent after she had to be away from me and would bond with me instead of the hospital smells and nurses. I also fought to be allowed (snarl in disgust) to breastfeed my baby while I was in recovery twice. I began wearing her in a sling as soon as I was able to get out of bed and I slept with her in the hospital in my bed (much to the distress of many nurses). This story could just go on and on, so I will call it quits here. Thank you for listening.

I went to another site to try to talk about this and was brutally attacked for my opinions. I hope I am safer here.
post #82 of 98
Since we're talking about scars... mine still bugs me. It gets itchy. It gets irritated if I wear bikini underwear, and I hate granny underpants. Parts of it are smooth and flat but it's mostly red and raised.

One of the ways I comfort DS back to sleep is by lying on my back with DS face down on my chest while I pat his back. If he's being restless and having trouble getting to sleep he kicks, and his feet are right at my scar and it hurts and makes me resentful again.

I love my baby. I've mostly accepted my c-section. But I hate my scar. Grrr.
post #83 of 98
Thread Starter 
For you more recent gals with scar issues, I have to say it is going to take time. It takes a lot of time for all of it to heal. As nerves reginerate and things heal, its going itch, burn, feel tugging, etc throughout. You may also get adhesions. In took a good year for my first one, and about 6 months for the second. However I still would have these shooting or twingling sensations well after that.

Kim
post #84 of 98
Thread Starter 

Going Into Labor Before Scheduled Csection

Really unsure about posting this here, but I feel its safe. I hope so at least. I hope maybe a lurker may even answer my question.

I am going to schedule my csection for two days before my due date. I have never made it that far before. Both my previous sections were done around 38 weeks. My babies weighed 7lbs and 7lbs12oz. My uterus is deformed just for a reminder. I have never dilated, water has never broken and my babies do not drop.

Okay, so I am a bit concerned about pushing the envelope to 40 weeks. I would be lying if I didn't think about how far I can stretch my uterus. My son was in a far better position for growth, where as my daughter wasn't (I carried her in the right horn) I also don't want to go into labor first, but I know if I wait until 40 weeks with a third pregnancy it is a possibility.

Now this is what I want to know! If I go into labor, can I just labor awhile or will they just want to section me as soon as I get there? I think if my water hasn't broken I would rather just labor, especially if my doctor isnt on call then (say if this happened at night). I don't want to be having a csection at night or midnight or 4 am unless its urgent. I just do not want to feel rushed, I would like things to be very methodical and planned out.

For some reason this is really bothering me! I think about it alot, too much. I just had such a great experience the last time and I don't want any surprises!
post #85 of 98
You could labor at home till you felt more comfortable with going in.

You could go into labor and call the hospital and say Hey, is such and such on call?

Or, you might not go into labor at all
post #86 of 98
Kim, thanks for your scar advice, i keep thinking the pain should stop after the 12 weeks they say it takes to recover from a c-birth, but i've been hearing more and more about how it can last a year. it helps me to know it's normal. hmm, i guess that 12-week thing is an average, just like the way OBs expect us to deliver in X number of hours based on averages?

i love having Willow lay on me for her tummy time, but she's kicking really strongly now and ow ow OW! it is a sad reminder. i chatter with her a lot, i told her that's where she came out, made me smile a little. then i folded up a blanket and put that over my scar the next time. still a little sore after some big kicks, but it kind of reminded me of the way i'd get sore when she was trying to kick her way out of me

RubyPearl ... welcome! the "it's giving birth too" concept doesn't comfort me, either. i really wanted to give birth vaginally, so i lost something i really wanted. there's no way to comfort that other than time, and consciously grieving (i journal, and i might do a painting about my feelings). i love your idea about the blanket that smells like you!!
post #87 of 98
Morning all
Kim.. I would say that you could labor at home as long as you felt comfortable doing so. Any labor is good for the baby?? Not sure.. maybe it depends on why you are having a c/s.. IMHO, in some cases it might not be good to labor at all. Have you spoken with your DR about it?
I bet you are excited to meet your new baby Congratulations. Wishing you an easy surgery and speedy recovery!

I came across this article.. it was good
http://slate.com/Default.aspx?id=2111499&
Talks about the VBAC lash..

Chantal
post #88 of 98
I really debated whether to schedule my c/s or just wait until I went into labor. I did a bunch of research to determine if the increased chance of infection for laboring mothers was correlated to labor or to the emergency nature of c/s in laboring mothers. From what I could tell, it seems like any amount of labor increases your chance of infection. But maybe not very much.

I scheduled my c/s for 1 day after my due date - but this was my first baby and I hadn't dropped or shown any signs of going into labor.
post #89 of 98
RubyPearl ... You will not be lashed out at for your opinions and feelings here. We are here to comfort and provide support, advice, a virtual shoulder to cry on, etc. All (or most of us) have had some of the same feelings you've had and we are all trying to heal physically and emotionally from our c/s.

About the scar issues ... I'm just now not having itching every day -- only once in awhile -- and I'm 13.5 mos. pp. It takes a long time. And my scar is still very visible although not red and terribly raised. It is whitening/greying with time. My mom's scar is hardly noticeable now (her stretch marks are mostly silvery too). Granted, she's had 30+ years of recovery ... LOL.

I'm actually due for a well woman (and to meet my potential future mw) but just can't get myself to make the call. I'm having serious anxiety about going. I think it's b/c I'm afraid the mw will tell me, for one reason or another, that I'm a terrible VBAC candidate b/c I only have single-layer sutures . I know I have to go eventually, but ...

Anyway ... just thought I'd pop in and say hello.
post #90 of 98
To on the fence:
Experiencing labour with my second child made all the difference in the world to me, even though it still ended in a c-section. I feel very strongly that this is a benefit to both mother and baby because of the hormones involved, but I would talk it over with your doctor first because I don't know enough about your particular situation to advise you as to what risk is involved.

Thank you melly bean and Henry's mamma for your welcoming support. I have been waiting for almost five years for someone who will hear me.
post #91 of 98
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tammylc
I really debated whether to schedule my c/s or just wait until I went into labor. I did a bunch of research to determine if the increased chance of infection for laboring mothers was correlated to labor or to the emergency nature of c/s in laboring mothers. From what I could tell, it seems like any amount of labor increases your chance of infection. But maybe not very much.

I scheduled my c/s for 1 day after my due date - but this was my first baby and I hadn't dropped or shown any signs of going into labor.
I was told over and over again how it was good to go into labor before hand but I discovered that the mortality rate is higher if you do. Also there is an increase in infection and other problems. Its actually safer to have a planned csection rather than an unplanned or wait until you go into labor csection. Going into labor first might be a good indication baby is ready, but may not necessarily be best over all when it comes to other things.

I considered laboring at home, but frankly, that would be a bad idea. I have a mullerian anomaly and since my uterus has been cut before I have a higher rupture rate. I might would stay at home long enough to wash my hair and shave my legs though! (and find a baby sitter?)
post #92 of 98
what is a mulleirian anomaly (sp.)? My mother had 2 uterus'.
post #93 of 98
Wow OntheFence, I have been thinking about the same issue but the other way around. I had my first c-section at 41 weeks but never went into labor. This one is scheduled for 38 weeks (Jan. 25th) and I am nervous about having the baby so early. This is my last child so I am a bit sad about never experiencing a labor pain or even a contraction. I wonder all the time what it feels like.

But this pregnancy has been so miserable for me that I am ready to get it over with 2 weeks early! I am also GD so the chances of a big baby should be less at 38 weeks.

best of luck with your decision. My doctor told me that if I went into labor before my scheduled date that the doctor on call would do my section right away. What policy does your OB have?

Best of luck.
post #94 of 98
As long as I am posting here are a few things I am doing to try and make this c-birth go better than the last one. Please let me know if there are things you think I might want to add.

1) No mind altering drugs
2) Insisted on antibotics during surgery (after baby is removed) because I got infected last time.
3) A specialist to do my spinal because I had an epidural last time and it did not wear off for over 48 hours!
4) I am practicing saying "I do not consent" for anything the nurses want to do that I am not comfortable with.
5) Having Dh stay with our new daughter at all times that I can't be with her.
6) Limiting the number of family members in my recovery room at one time so I don't feel so overwhelmed.
7) Having a lactation consultant in the recovery room for the first nursing session and then to check with me the next day to make sure we get off to a good start.

That's about all...Feel free to reply, offer advice, and comment if I am forgetting important things! Thanks!
post #95 of 98
Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasSuz
1) No mind altering drugs
2) Insisted on antibotics during surgery (after baby is removed) because I got infected last time.
3) A specialist to do my spinal because I had an epidural last time and it did not wear off for over 48 hours!
4) I am practicing saying "I do not consent" for anything the nurses want to do that I am not comfortable with.
5) Having Dh stay with our new daughter at all times that I can't be with her.
6) Limiting the number of family members in my recovery room at one time so I don't feel so overwhelmed.
7) Having a lactation consultant in the recovery room for the first nursing session and then to check with me the next day to make sure we get off to a good start.
it sounds like a good plan! if you don't mind someone touching your boobs to latch the baby on for you, you might want to add that a designated person, like a doula, nurse or LC, has permission to latch the baby on for you ASAP. my spinal numbed my entire body and i couldn't move for 2 hours after surgery, my doula latched Willow on just 50 minutes after she was born. i also needed help again an hour later. it was awkward, but so, SO worth it! HTH

oh, keep in mind antibiotics may cause yeast infection and/or thrush, talk to your doctor about which antibiotic may be least likely to cause that. i had gentamycin and we had thrush a week later.
post #96 of 98
Hi texassuz.

My first c-section was at 41 1/2 weeks when we found out she was breech, the second was at 39 weeks for GD. I fought hard to carry her for the extra week in hopes that an induction would be possible and I could avoid a repeat c-section. Do you know why they insist you have to have the baby at 38 weeks? Anyway, they used a balloon catheter to dilate me to 3 cm. and then broke my water, but the baby's head was still really high again, even though it had been really low the day before. I never made it any further, and still had a c-section, but felt much better about it this time because it was my choice when it happened. There was also meconium in the fluid, so I didn't want to labor too long and have her go into distress. I chose to have the c-section when it became apparent that my status was not going to change.

There are so many things you can do to make this a positive experience, but you really have to work hard to get your way. I'll have to come back and tell you more, baby needs me right now.
post #97 of 98
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruby Pearl
what is a mulleirian anomaly (sp.)? My mother had 2 uterus'.
That would be a mullerian anomaly. Mine is bicornuate. There are different kinds and variations.
post #98 of 98
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasSuz
As long as I am posting here are a few things I am doing to try and make this c-birth go better than the last one. Please let me know if there are things you think I might want to add.

1) No mind altering drugs
2) Insisted on antibotics during surgery (after baby is removed) because I got infected last time.
3) A specialist to do my spinal because I had an epidural last time and it did not wear off for over 48 hours!
4) I am practicing saying "I do not consent" for anything the nurses want to do that I am not comfortable with.
5) Having Dh stay with our new daughter at all times that I can't be with her.
6) Limiting the number of family members in my recovery room at one time so I don't feel so overwhelmed.
7) Having a lactation consultant in the recovery room for the first nursing session and then to check with me the next day to make sure we get off to a good start.

That's about all...Feel free to reply, offer advice, and comment if I am forgetting important things! Thanks!
For no1 I think you have to be clearer. Make sure you say you want no sedatives or mind altering drugs before or during suturing. They often will give you something during the suturing phase.

No3. I would try to line up a anest. guy for your planned csection that you have talked to first. Also ask about Duramorph being put into your spinal so you can have longer pain relief but can still move around.

You may want to see about having a doula with you beside your DH. If he stays with your daughter at all times, you may want to have someone with you in the OR. This was a great comfort to me.

Your other stuff sounds great. I wish you lots of luck.
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