Stupid but it bugs me.

[Kari_mom]

OK, I will admit this is kind of trivial, but I am still annoyed. :

My son brings home a packet of homework each Monday, it is due Friday and returned to him on Monday. On the coversheet is a place where I am suppose to sign my name BEFORE he hands it in. It doesn't say anything about reviewing his work, whatever, just Parent Signature. If I forget, the blank signature space is circled and he is asked to give it to me for my signature.

He is in First Grade! Why do I have to sign off on his homework? I understand signing off on his weekly folder that has a behavior report. I understand the point when my dd in fifth grade brings home a test to sign. I even kind of understand why I have to sign her homework planner even though she always does her work, so I have signed it through January .

But homework that has not even been graded? Trust me, I am involved in getting it done. I don't know many 1st graders who can complete their homework without help. Heck, someone has to at least read the directions for him or he doesn't know what to do.

Do I not have the option of not giving my signature which I do view as mine to give when I think necessary? Or am I missing something completely here?

When we went over ds's homework packet from last week tonight, I told him I didn't think I needed to sign it. I overheard him later asking his sister how to spell my name, so now the signature line has just my first name neatly printed in first grade handwriting, just like his name on the line above. I can't wait to see what comes of it.

[CarrieMF]

My dd is in grade 1. They do not have homework that needs to be handed in but we are asked to sign their homework agendas and since my dd is in speech I am supposed to sign her speech homework every week before she takes it back. The reason behind this is to get parents involved in what their kids are doing and incentive to get the kids into doing work/homework. Every day the principle draws a number from division 1. Each agenda has a number on it, if your number is drawn and your agenda has been signed the day before by your parent you get to go to the office and pick something out of the prize box. With her speech she gets stickers for me signing her speech homework.

Have you asked the teacher why it is supposed to be signed.

[alegna]

Just as a former teacher (who wasn't uptight- but worked with a lot of REALLY uptight teachers...) your son is probably going to get grief for the unsigned homework. It's probably to get parents involved (and yes, some of the other kids' parents never see it) but whatever the reason, teachers are sticklers about RULES (no matter how little sense they make...)

Good luck! I hate the games in schools.

-Angela

[journeymom]

Kari_mom, I (or ds) experienced the very same thing! He's in Kindergarten, gets sent home with a week's worth of homework every Monday. Friday I'm supposed to return a signed envelope with him. I didn't get the point of this at first, and thought it was not mandatory. Poor ds said, "Mommy, you have to sign it!" I figured he was stressing unduely. Nonetheless, the following Monday the envelope came back with a note instructing me to "sign here"!, and the little guy said he didn't get a sticker or something like everybody else did, because his envelope wasn't signed! Ooooh, that makes me mad!They made my son miss out on something because his mom didn't get it!

Live and learn!

[Kari_mom]

Well, I asked him, and he forgot to turn it in. So no response yet.

I know that they want it, I know that it is a rule, I know that it is suppose to mean I am involved when it doesn't mean that at ALL. I have thought about this a lot and what it comes down to is that I don't like to be told I HAVE TO do something by my child's teacher that I think is meaningless. I AM NOT HER STUDENT. He is not responsible for my behavior.

And it isn't the teacher's responsibility to MAKE me be involved, just to provide opportunities for involvement. Or at least that is how I see it.

Having said all this, I want to mention that she is a very nice teacher who loves my son and we get along well otherwise. And she knows I am an involved parent, I am her room mom plus I have been a part of the PTA, we just had a conference last week, etc.

I know that my son will be the one who worries about not doing as the teacher says, but on the otherhand I am ok with giving him an example of thinking for myself instead of just doing as I am told.

And Carrie, I know I should ask her why I have to sign it, but the way it was circled with a question mark made it clear I am expected to sign it. I am really just venting here. Probably I will start signing his homework and talk to the principal about it, I her and she is pretty logical about this stuff when I point it out, and she doesn't run the other way yet.

[PumpkinSeeds]

My dad used to sign things for us to the school like this:

signed, the official M stamper for MandM's
(he had tons of these I wish I could remember them all)

Why don't you sign a new name each week and have a little fun with it?

[CarrieMF]

And it isn't the teacher's responsibility to MAKE me be involved, just to provide opportunities for involvement.

I look it as it is an opportunity to be involved. The parents that are not involved are not going to see the question marks because they are not looking at it to begin with. To me signing it is showing that I am involved at home too, I know what needs to be done and I am keeping up with what is going on in the school.

[stillnominivan]

My first grader has a homework book that I have to sign every night. She also brings home a "bag book" every day, that I have to sign and date as well. One night her homework book was marked "no homework". I didn't sign it and the next time I saw it there was a circle (in red pen) around the words "parent signature".
I felt like I was 8 years old.

[journeymom]

He is not responsible for my behavior.

Exactly!

I felt like I was 8 years old.

Again, exactly!

And it isn't the teacher's responsibility to MAKE me be involved, just to provide opportunities for involvement. Or at least that is how I see it.

But I do have one thought regarding this. Parental involvment is THE key to academic success for children. And these teachers have been commanded on every level to perform, that is, get these kids to perform proficiently, if not advanced on various tests. The local community demands it, the state demands it and the federal "No Child Left Behind But-We-Won't-Give-The-Schools-Any-Financial-Help" act demands it. So teachers try every which way to get their parents interested, involved, committed, invested in their kids' school work. A weekly signature between parent and teacher seems to be fairly common these days, and it's one small way teachers try to stay connected to the parents.

I remember thinking, "Does she think I'm one of those parents who doesn't notice or give a hoot what my kid is doing in school?" It occured to me that she doesn't know me at all. She was still getting to know me.

[Margaret1022]

The other side of the coin

Hi,

My understanding of this requirement/request is school accountability. Some parents have successfully argued their children should not be held back or required to attend Summer School because they were not made aware of lack of performance. By requiring parents to cross the "T"s and dot the "I"s, the school has undeniable proof that parents have been *put on notice* (regardless of what they do with that information).

When the District people come in to review that school, they don't really care why something is not signed, only that it isn't. All they see is potential lawsuits and hassles.

Best regards,
Margaret

[Flor]

As a former 1st grade teacher, I would say that half of my students never did HW,never turned in a thing. As a mom of a former 1st grader, I signed his homework everyweek and never thought twice about it. I sign things from his classroom everyweek all the time and it will continue till he's 18. I don't understand the problem.
I agree that it is some accountability. You are saying, I did this with him and know how well he was able to do it, where he was confused and how much growth he is making. I send home progress reports every three weeks to 8th graders that must be signed just so nobody is surprised at the end of the semester.
I think you are also teaching your son about responsibilty. When the teacher gives him something to give to his parents he does it and returns it to school. 8th graders still have problems with this.
Ds was always proud to finish his HW so that it was ready for the signature. Ta-DA! All the HW is done and now it's time for the signature.. .

[Losgann]

I've run into this, too

with my ds who is in 2nd grade. He got in trouble *once* when I didn't sign his assignment sheet on one of the days. It just happened to be the day the teacher checked it. He was marked off for behavior (which really chapped me!).. I talked to the teacher about how it wasn't his fault and I didn't feel it was fair that he was punished for my not signing something. She said it was just the rule.

So I felt childish anyway so I started signing it Monday- Friday on Monday mornings. I did the same thing with his graded papers folder- it had blanks for the entire year and I spent 5 minutes initialing the whole thing down to the very last blank.

I *do* look at my ds's folder every day first thing when we walk in the door. And I sit down every day and work on his homework with him. It seems like that is what should count. Is his homework in? Are his grades good? Then why punish him for a missing signature? And I am in *constant* contact with the teacher through a back and forth notebook and email, as well as in person so she *knows* I'm involved. (They wish I'd leave them alone. :LOL) It just really bugged me that she punished him. Just thought she could call me or drop an email and say "hey, did you see his folder yesterday?" or something instead of just marking him off..

I guess it smacks of special treatment, but at the same time, those poor kids who don't have involved parents, what does that teach them? "My parents don't care, and my teacher is punishing me cuz my parents don't care."
They can't win!

[MamaJosie]

I personally

don't feel it is an unreasonable request. Although I don't think the kids should be rewarded or punished if their parent does or does not sign. It is sad to me that they even need to ask it of parents but the gist is, as you said, it helps because then the teacher knows the parent did see the homework and was reminded to help their child get it done.

I would try to look at it from your son's point of view. He wants to follow the rules and do what is asked of him. The fact that he wrote your name makes me feel sorry for him if you won't fill it out. I would think he feels anxiety at your displeasure with the policy and lack of compliance. I feel if you are not going to sign you should probably tell the teacher why and work it out with her and make sure he knows he is exempt from the signature so he doesnt have to feel stress and anxiety about not following the rules.

You could tell her you would rather not have to do that unless he starts having a problem with getting homework in and then if that ever happens you will start signing it again.

I also feel somewhat protective of my actual signature. But in this case, your printed name would surely suffice. To me a signature is your personal info like a ss number but your printed name doesnt carry the same weight. So if that is the issue for you, just print your name.

[Kari_mom]

I was surprised to see this thread active again, I started it over two months ago!

Margaret, your point is great but doesn't apply here. His homework packet is returned the same day, so there really isn't any proof held by the school to show accountibility. Unless the teacher is recording that I am signing. If so, I have to say that that is a very poor method of documentation, and I used to do QA for a living.

jmoreno, the problem is, as I originally stated, it that it doesn't prove anything. It isn't that it is such a big deal to ask, it is just pointless in my opinion. Maybe if I didn't have a background in regulatory affairs, maybe if I did not have ample professional experience in documentation and meeting regulatory requirements, I wouldn't even know how pointless it was. Probably the teacher doesn't if that the goal she is trying to meet.

To update, I am signing my son's homework packet when we first sit down together to work on it. I have also found out that it is just a 'thing' with this first grade teacher, none of the other first grade teachers ask a parent to sign off on homework, just the weekly folder that comes home. I haven't asked her about it because I have had tougher issues to work out with her.

And psicean mama, I did the same thing with my daughter's assignment book and her teachers and I had a good laugh about it at conference time. No nasty red circles telling me I'm a bad parent there!

[jannan]

as a teacher we have a very difficult job and a parent who is silly and signing a different name or won't sign the homework doesn't help us. please sign the homework.......it just lets us know that you've seen it and are aware of what your child is working on....please work with us , not against us. if i got back a homework packet that wasn't signed, i would n't accept it.


if there was a field trip paper that needed to be sign , would you sign that?

[Kari_mom]

Jannan, if it was a field trip paper, I would sign it with my actual authentic signature because there is a valid reason for that document to be signed. You need to know that I give my permission to take my child from school, and if any problems arise you need that paper to show that you obtained my permission, otherwise I could accuse you and the school of kidnapping.

Your post still does not give me a reason for why I need to sign off on homework for a first grader or any other child for that matter. There are multiple issues here, but the crux of it is, I think, that a teacher does not have authority over the parents. When I enroll my child in school, I do give the school and its employees, including teachers, some authority for my child. I do NOT give you authority over myself and my husband. There are some laws around certain aspects that do, attendence coming to mind. But since you do not have the authority to require my signature as you please, I do not think it is appropriate for a teacher to punish a child if a parent does not sign a homework paper. My signature is my legal possession.

I understand that you would like parents to be more involved. I understand that children are more successful in school when parents are involved. As I said in a previous post, you can provide opportunities for involvement, but you can't make parents be involved. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink, yk? And do you really not know after the first week of school which students have 'good' parents and which students do not?

I am not trying to make the job of a teacher more difficult. I am actually a very helpful and supportive parent. My son's teacher knows this, that is why she requested my son in her class. My daughter's teacher knows this, that is why she thinks it is funny that I sign aliases and sign off for months in advance. I know what my children are doing in school. I talk regularly to all my children's teachers. I am friends with the principal. I volunteer as frequently as I can. My children are doing quite well in school, thank you.

I am an involved parent, and not because I am suppose to sign my son's homework packet. Teachers need to consider whether they are giving needless work to the parent.

[Losgann]

Originally Posted by Kari_mom

I am an involved parent, and not because I am suppose to sign my son's homework packet. Teachers need to consider whether they are giving needless work to the parent.

Kari Mom you said this so much better than I was trying to. :LOL

I stay so swamped with my ds in regards to the school. Every day he brings home homework, along with classwork that wasn't finished, along with extra 'special day' projects like his Literacy Day book that he had to write.

On top of outside therapy appts and in home behavior therapy and extreme behavior issues of his own. On top of all this, and I have to worry that ds is going to be punished for me not signing something. He tries so hard to hold it together at school all day and when he comes home he lets it all go (on me) and I have to handle HIM AND all the crap that comes home with him that HAS to be done. It's a LOT. All I'm asking for is a little understanding from the teacher. It goes both ways.

I'm butting heads with the teacher again as we speak so it's a sensitive issue for me right now again, so I'll apologize now for venting. :

DS's teacher will punish ds if I don't sign something, but also will not bother to jot me a tiny note on ds's behavior sheet if he moves his clip in class. He can't tell me why he was in trouble, and how am I supposed to know if she doesn't tell me? My ds is on the autistic spectrum so there are issues, and she's well aware of these issues.

Understanding and help goes both ways..

[Kari_mom]

Aww, Erica, . You and your son do have a lot going on. I can understand why you are frustrated. I hope you can work things out with his teacher.

[jannan]

if a child brought back the packet unsigned i'd call the parent and politely asked them to sign it. if they were being ridiculous and not signing i'd have your child sit on the bench and not participate in recess. yes, it is cruel but i bet after a while the homework packet would come back signed.or i would bribe your child with a sticker........

[chfriend]

Ahh, jannan, thank you. I've lurked a bit on this thread and was surprised to see it active again. Dp and I have struggled with our decision to homeschool our very sensitive 4 year old. Your post helps to remind me why I cannot trust her to a first grade teacher assigned by the school, even if that teacher considers herself AP. I appreciate your candor...that you would deliberately be cruel to a child to enforce a documentation procedure you invented or use bribery to get between a child and her/his parent.