forcible retraction in 4 mo old

[2Late2BCreative]

My son's foreskin was retracted yesterday by the doctor....I am like many others who've reported this...that it just happened so quickly. Right now I just don't know what to do about it. I am preparing a letter to be included in his medical records that states he is NOT to be retracted at ALL ....along with information from the AAP regarding retraction. My concern now is that I've read so much about infections, adhesions, etc due to forcible retraction. DS did not show any pain at all when it was done. There was a drop of bright red blood in his diaper right after. Today the tip of the penis definitely looks different.....the tip is red and looks "loose"....if that makes sense....maybe a bit swollen?...not sure. I've given him some warm soaks today and there has been no signs of blood today. Should I be worried?? Will everything go back to normal again?? I am just so upset that this happened. Thanks for any input.

[mattemma04]

Sorry to read this happened to your son.This is a sticky at the top of this forum that would be useful for you. Good luck with the doctor/staff.They can be so stubborn when it comes to parents educationing them.My son is 2.5 and no one(medical staff) has ever felt the need to retract him to check things out.

[2Late2BCreative]

Thank you!! The information was right in there. I will just keep watch over the next few days. This has been an awful feeling. It's like he's "lost" something.....kind of similar to virginity or something like that. I am also so upset with myself for not speaking out about it. I will have information in hand at his next appointment and possibly request to switch providers. Why are these doctors just so uniformed!?! ugh!! Thank you again.

[mattemma04]

You know you are right-it is a sort of sexual violation.
I would suggest going in before the next scheduled appointment without your son.Either that or drop off a letter with information before hand.But then you know the doctor/staff better,and can gauge how they will respond.Just curious what was the reason given to retract,and was it done by the ped at each visit?The sooner they know what they did was wrong;hopefully the sooner they will stop hurting other intact boys. I really do think these *problems* with intact boys which is a common reason parents circ(to avoid those problems) is caused by improper care.

[Nathan1097]

This happened to both my boys at their 4-mos check ups. You can't always prevent it because even though I thought my dr. knew the care of intact boys, he still did this. I am even the one who wrote the intact care agreement back in '98! So you're not alone. I have a page on my site full of quotes about dr's retracting...

Its under "Doctors: What do doctors know?"

See the link in my sig....

[Gabesgrrrl]

Hello. I am preggie with our next child, and I am worried that it'll be a boy, because my hubby and I don't really agree on this issue. He is Circ, and states that he knows he smells cleaner than guys who aren't, and that he is really glad he was Circed, and that he doesn't feel like he's "missing" anything. I made him promise that if we find out we're having a boy, he has to watch a circ video with me before we make a full decision....we talked about this until 2 AM last night....

Now for my own ignorance...Please don't jump on me, cuz this is still new-I'm learning, and interested in learning.

Hubby said that uncirced men have a greater chance of infection, and STD's, because it gets stuck underneath the foreskin. I (obviously wrongly!) said: "Well, that' why you are supposed to pull back the foreskin and clean it carefully. We will have to teach him good hygiene.

Obviously I am totally wrong. So how do you clean inside? Do you!? Is risk of bacterial infection really any higher?

Please help! And forgive my inexperience on this issue...

Marcie

[Nathan1097]

I need to go, but for now you can check out my website in my signature.... There's a page on STDs and a page on "caring for the penis". Hope those help! Just check the blue menu bar on the right!

[mommymarliah]

I'm so sorry that happened! It hapened to my first son, I wasn't expecting the doctor to tamper with his forskin and out of no where he retracts, I about screamed. The next visit I brought in the paperwork stating that no one was to ever touch his forskin, and I have warned the doctor at every visit since. I don't understand why doctors do this crap. It irritates me to no end! :

[Mamm2]

Marcie,

Welcome!!! I am glad you are doing some research. Pls read the sticky above where mothers regret circumcising. I don't know anyone who regrets leaving their baby intact.

No health organization in the world recommends circumcision. In fact, many of them speak against them.

http://www.cirp.org/library/statements/

Dr. Sears against circ article
http://askdrsears.com/html/1/t012000.asp

AAP policy

http://www.aap.org/advocacy/archives/marcircum.htm


Circ stories
http://www.circumcision.org/mothers.htm


Dr. Fleiss article on functions of the foreskin
http://www.mothering.com/articles/ne...cumcision.html


Pls feel free to come back and ask questions. Pls understand that this is unncessary surgery that carries risks. Infections and death are not as uncommon as you think. There are no medical benefits whatsoever.

I also believe I don't have the right to cut off a perfectly healthy body part that belongs to my son.

I did not have all this information when I decided not to circ. All it took for me was to see the pictures and know that my son was going to suffer tremendous pain during and after the procedure (no general anesthesia or post-op pain meds). That is all it took for my mamma bear instincts to kick into gear. I told my hubby over my dead body. Thank God he agreed once he saw the pictures.

Stand strong momma!!!

[rainbowmoon]

omg that is so awful! I am so sorry. that's a good sign your ds wasn't in pain.

did you say anything to the dr. about it or ask him/her why it was done? even if you didn't then, it's still not to late.

I have been super vigilant since even before he was born about telling anyone who will listen to NOT retract ds penis if they will ever be anywhere near it. I would seriously FREAK if his happened. it IS assault in a way IMHO.

[2Late2BCreative]

Well, the dr called me back today. I told him of my concerns regarding the retraction. He stated that he was checking for any tears/adhesions(??..isn't that why you don't retract bc it is adhesed...I'm a little confused on the whole adhesion part..anyways...) because I said that a few weeks ago ds had some blood in his diaper....very faint...just for a few days one week and then none since. DR stated this is why he retracted just to "make sure all was okay" since I voiced concern. Actually, I just wanted to make sure that it was nothing to worry about NOT have his foreskin retracted!!!! I even told the dr that it had not happened in three to four weeks. I did state that I DO NOT want this done again and talked about the AAPs recommendations. I will for sure be much more careful at our next meeting and remind him that I DO NOT want any retraction done.

My husband was very "on the fence" about not circing and we read some great books (not sure of the names...one I think was The Case Against Circ.). After he read them, he really felt we couldn't make any other decision. It was a complete turnaround for him. I am so thankful that we didn't have to go down the "I am the MOTHER and I will decide" road. It's kinda strange bc each time I change ds diaper, I am just so happy to know he did not have to suffer like so many baby boys.

[earthmama007]

He stated that he was checking for any tears/adhesions(??..isn't that why you don't retract bc it is adhesed...I'm a little confused on the whole adhesion part..anyways...) because I said that a few weeks ago ds had some blood in his diaper....very faint...just for a few days one week and then none since. DR stated this is why he retracted just to "make sure all was okay" since I voiced concern.

Hmmm, yes this is a sure fire way to get adhesions. Jeez, some doctors. He is obviously not fully educated. If your DS hasn't had any other prblems then he shouldn't even be touching his penis. Don't be upset with yourself. It can happen so quick. Good for you calling him on it. I would also print up the AAP stuff on premature retraction and put it in his file.

[Kleine Hexe]

I think I would actually find myself punching a Dr (or anyone) who retracted my son. The ped I see is always telling me that it is important to not retract. I know this of course, but I think it's good he says every time. I know that *he* knows not to retract.

Your poor baby. He needs extra cuddles and maybe a new doctor.

[2tadpoles]

Originally Posted by Gabesgrrrl

Obviously I am totally wrong. So how do you clean inside? Do you!? Is risk of bacterial infection really any higher?

Marcie, in a newborn there is no "inside" or "under" the foreskin. The foreskin is stuck down to the head of the penis. It's only after it begins to retract (on its own) that any sort of "invasive" cleaning should be necessary. Both of my boys were retracting at around age 4, but it varies from person to person. They just pull their foreskins back and wash with water. Well, they did. I don't monitor their bathing activities anymore, so they might use soap now.

My older boy had one urinary tract infection when he was three. His immune system was obviously shoddy at the time, because he also had a sore throat and ear infection. We believe the UTI was also related to bubble baths, of which he took many at that time. My younger boy has never had any sort of urinary infection.

As for smelling cleaner, I'd be tempted to ask dh why and how he's smelling other people's penises. :LOL Really, I don't understand the "smell" issue. You'd have to be pretty nasty for someone to be able to catch a whiff of your penis while standing next to you in line at Barnes&Noble or something. And if you are going to be in a position where someone's face is going to be near your penis, there's much to be said for soap and water, circed or not.

[mattemma04]

Originally Posted by 2tadpoles

You'd have to be pretty nasty for someone to be able to catch a whiff of your penis while standing next to you in line at Barnes&Noble or something. And if you are going to be in a position where someone's face is going to be near your penis, there's much to be said for soap and water, circed or not.

Thanks for the morning laugh. I just got my furnace to work(faulty wire),and was in a foul mood because I don't have money to get it really fixed.

To the OP-Thanks for getting back on why the doc retracted. I still don't feel it was ok.I mean even if he was accidentally retracted causing the blood before then retracting again is just opening up an old wound. I may be wrong ofcourse.Frank would know better. Hopefully the doctor will not feel the need to do it again.

[Gabesgrrrl]

You are NEVER going to believe this...

I feel like I should be on Jerry Springer, or some other such place where the strange and unusual people try to represent a sector of America.....

Last night, I was discussing the fear I have of circing my boy, (if it IS a boy!)with my mother in law....and she told me she was against circing! So I asked her if it is routine in Uruguay, where my DH was born, and she said not even close...(and here it comes!) And she said she never Circ'd my DH, or his brother!

I was very confused, so I asked DH if he circ'd as an adult-(why!?) And he said no, and that his mother must have "forgotten". I assured him that this is not something a women so adamantly against it, would forget...

So, he was confused, because he thought he was Circ'd, and I thought so too! I've only ever been intimate with one man who was intact, and his foreskin was obviously there, since it went over his tip....

Both Hubby and I were very confused, so we online searching for penis pics! :LOL

We found some that looked just like him, and they were intact-so we concluded that he is actually INTACT! And that as a mature adult, the foreskin must just not be as long! I learned that there is one telling factor, and that is the "Y" shaped grouping of skin on the underside-if it's there, the male is INTACT. If it's not, then he's....well, NOT.


On one hand, this is great, because it takes the pressure off of me-(although I feel like a total idiot-but in my defense, HE thought he was Circ'd too!), on the other hand, it brings another question to mind:

I Circ'd my son, (boy do I wish I could rewind my life, and stand up to his not-at-all-present-now-spermdonor!)-so he will be the only altered male in the house. What do I do!?

I won't put another son through that, just to try to "hide" my mistake, but inevitably the question of "looks" will come up....what should I say?

That I didn't know any better, and that I am very very sorry? He's 3! I think that might be a bit too heavy.....

Any suggestions?

Marcie

[Nathan1097]

Originally Posted by Gabesgrrrl

We found some that looked just like him, and they were intact-so we concluded that he is actually INTACT! And that as a mature adult, the foreskin must just not be as long! I learned that there is one telling factor, and that is the "Y" shaped grouping of skin on the underside-if it's there, the male is INTACT. If it's not, then he's....well, NOT.

You're talking about the frenulum. Some circ'd men still have this, albeit probably not the entire thing. I'm trying to think how to phrase this... The frenulum on an intact man sort of goes "around" the shaft (because its attached to the shaft skin) whereas circ'd men with a frenulum don't have this- they have a bit of frenulum left and maybe some loose skin that is movable. See the difference?