Things you never thought you'd hear yourself say...

[BlueBelle]

...OK, never in my life did I ever thought I'd find myself sitting on the floor in my living room, which has become the epicenter of chaos, saying to my daughter "Thank you for sharing the Cheerios with mama, Peyton, but next time can I have one that hasn't been pre-chewed?" :LOL Of course, that won't happen...she's nine months old. Everything comes my way after having been chewed.

I also never thought I'd have conversations with my husband about the changing texture/smell/seediness of baby poo, or hear myself saying "Well, of course she sticks her fingers in my nose. My nostrils happen to be finger shaped." like it's the most logical idea since the theory of relativity :LOL

What odd things have you said/done now that you have kids that you nevernevernever thought you'd ever say?

[JoAida]

Today I told my almost 2yo, "Baby, please don't color your turkey meat with the marker."

[littleteapot]

"Honey, the kitty doesn't like to have his mouth licked. That's yucky."

Or how about having a long conversation with DH about what DD's dirty diapers smelled like once we switched to solid food? :LOL
I'm sure I have more, but it's 3am here and I'm TIRED!

[Hayes]

If you can't behave, you will have to sleep in your bed!

Celeste, I know you love your baby sister, but you have to sit next to her, not ON her.

[myjulybabes]

"Oh honey, no, videos don't NEED to be washed!"

As Aidan dunked his favorite tape in the bucket of water I was using to mop the floor.

[AJP]

"Don't run with scissors!"

I actually said that. As well as "don't play with that, you could poke your eye out" and "I said come here, Here, HERE!" (that one probably is funnier to people who watched that old Bill Cosby, Himself standup routine so many times they had it nearly memorized). I feel like a walking cliche' sometimes, when something like the scissors comment comes from my mouth.

[Ms. Frizzle]

Originally Posted by Hayes

If you can't behave, you will have to sleep in your bed!

LOL That was cute!!

[artgoddess]

"Thank you, you did such a good job flushing the toilet for mama." Said to my 10 1/2 month old walking DS who loves to flush the toilet. That statement was imediately followed up by "No honey, we don't need to make sure it all went down, let's keep the lid closed." As he was trying to lift the lid and stick his hands into the toilet.

As far as diapers go, my funny new slogan is "leafy green poops" that usually appear the day after he has spinich. DH and I will talk about diaper contents at the dinner table and it doesn't fase us at all.

[Benjismom]

"People who aren't in your family might not want to see your penis or bottom." Actually, I have said that one a number of times.

Beth

[BlueBelle]

These are great....any others?

[jadegirl553]

Originally Posted by AJP

"I said come here, Here, HERE!"

: I say that one all the time! It's hilarious!

I also never thought I'd be having conversations with DH about what to call our son's penis.

[fiddledebi]

How about, "Sweetheart, you have to at least TRY the cake. Come on, give it a taste! You can't say you don't like it unless you try it. You don't have to eat the cake, but you can't say you don't like it. You don't know if you don't like it!"

Yes, about CAKE. She wanted grapes, which my mom didn't have, instead of chocolate cake, which she had made especially for our visit. DD's answer to "want some cake?" was "No! I don't like it!"

:LOL

[neveryoumindthere]

"dear, we dont put pizza in our ear"
:LOL

[Mamm2]

"Please don't swing the dog around" as my ds tries to throw our 9lb shih tzu across the living room.

[LovemyBoo]

Asking my 6 year-old son,

"Honey, do you want to sign your marriage certificate?"



Honest, there IS an explanation for that that isn't illegal. All of our other neighborhood children are girls, aged 4-9. The day before, my son had been playing with them when the older two girls, 7 and 9, decided my son and the 5 year old girl should get married. So they did. Anyway, the kids must have heard about marriage certificates from somewhere because the next day the two girls are at my front door telling me ds HAS to sign the marriage certificate that they had made or else the marriage won't be real. So they came in, I brought the certificate to his room and a bizarre mother-quote was born.

FTR, he did not want to sign the mc. I told him he didn't have to. I really think he was pressured down the aisle in the first place. :

[delighted.mama]

:LOL :LOL These are all so funny! Here's mine:

"We decided not to paint the baby with the paintbrush, remember? We only paint on paper."------my comment to dd after she started experimenting with her paintbrush on her brand new baby sister!

Looking forward to hearing more.....

[TranscendentalMom]

"Honey, please be gentle to mommy's boobies" (ds still likes to play with them :LOL )

[mmace]

"Take Jesus out of your mouth, please!"

[mocha09]

"This is NOT a restaurant!"

(I was truly horrified to hear those words come out of my mouth...)

[sincitymama]

Please don't hit mommy.
We do NOT hit people!
Ok, you know what baby? Hangers are not for hitting people, and they are not toys! Here, play with your nun-chucks.

FTR, the chucks are foam, ds is 11 months.