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Nov 2004 Mommies-Dec thread - Page 8

post #141 of 187
Thread Starter 
I've thought about it too. I'm an only child, but dh is one of 5. He would like at least one more, maybe two...I don't know if I want to go through pregnancy and birth again. I've had two wonderful experiences, but I'm so darn tired right now that I can't even think straight. I too would wait at least 2 1/2 years before trying. We'll see. I could go on about this topic, but I'm tired and heading to bed. Just wanted to let you know that I understand your dilema, Annette.
post #142 of 187

hi

Hi, can I join in? rowan was born 11/03. I don't know why, I've been thinking about the next baby question too. I know I don't want to do it for a couple years if we do, so there's no reason to be thinking about it right now anyway. I had a 30-hr labor and a c-sect. and wouldn't prefer to do either of those again! Maybe when the time comes we will look into adoption, seriously, though in a couple years maybe I'll just be thinking about how fun it was to be pregnant.

So is it normal for infants to vomit occasionally? Rowan has done it a few times now, on different days. she doesn't have any signs of illness, and she's hungry right after she throws up. I look at the vomitus and sigh and think, there goes that 7 AM feeding, I could have been sleeping instead . . . I'll probably talk to the LC tomorrow.

scheelimama, where in KS are you? I'm in Chase County, west of Emporia. I don't really know any new moms around here.
post #143 of 187
Annette; we are done @ three! Actually we we pretty done at two, but of course we couldn't imagine life with out Dylan. My boys are two years apart (21 mos), and the baby is 3 years 4 mos after Preston. I have to say that everyone that said "oh it gets easier with three, the BIG adjustment is having two." for us, it was a lie!! I honestly don't remember it being this hard when I had Preston. We lived close with family, and for awhile with my grandmother, so I'm not sure if that had anything to do with it or not. I guess some of it did play a part, b/c she could get Spencer things he needed when I couldn't. But anyway, not to discourage you, but (for us) it is hard. Maybe if the boys were in preschool or went to mothers day out 1 day a week, and I had more friends and family around it wouldn't be so hard, and of course moving to another state @ 7 mos preggo probably didn't help. Dh is also working 7 days a week, so it is double hard.

On Christmas, dh and I were soo tired. Cooking, cleaning, baby, putting together toys, putting together toys, putting together toys , I was like man this is just hard! But I have to remember that this baby is 7 weeks old, and they do grow up so quick. I'm really glad we had a third, b/c I know it does get easier. And since Matt and I don't have great families, or close relationships with our siblings (all half-siblings), we want the big, happy family we didn't have.

Good luck what ever you decide s

On the topic, for those with three, do you notice your middle child getting left out often? The past few days Spencer has wanted me to play his new games with him, and I always have the baby. Preston also goes to bed before Spencer, so Spencer gets more time with us too. I think I really need to start paying attention to this...
post #144 of 187
we moved when i was prego too, but early.

Can't speak to the issue of 3 children, but we have 2 cats before our babe and there have definitely been issues!
post #145 of 187
Merry Belated Christmas! I haven't been on the internet in 3 days!!! That's rough for me. Anyway, just wanted to pop in and say hi, and give a little update on us. Poor little Bronwynn is sick. First my older dd had a terrible cold about 2 weeks ago and then she gave it to me. I'm just getting over it. Now, Bronwynn has been sick for two days. She's had a terrible time nursing and sleeping. She's so congested. She actually threw up this morning. I feel so bad for her.

On a very sad note, this is my last week with my little baby before I have to go back full time to school. I almost cry every time I think about it. She's so little still. In many ways, she still seems like a newborn to me. She's barely interacting with us, no playing, just eating, sleeping, pooping and peeing. We aren't really getting smiles yet. I think she's just a very laid back, calm baby, who's not overly emotional either way, kwim. I just can't believe that I'm going to have to leave her with someone else all day 5 days a week starting next Monday. And she's still a bottle or pacifier, so that's going to be hard.

Well, anyway, we had a nice Christmas. DH is back to work today and my older dd is enjoying her day at daycare while I try to get some stuff done around here and relish my time with Bronwynn.

Richella, we live in Lawrence, in between Kansas City and Topeka. It's kind of far from you, but we went through Emporia yesterday.
post #146 of 187
Hmm..on the having more children thing..Tom would love it, but I think I'm finished..I'm 38 and I have an adult child..I figure that's a good time to call it quits I have my girl that I waited another 18 years for after teh first girl, so I'm content. Happily Tom is OK with only having 1 boy and 1 girl I cannot even imagine 3 small kids in the house and I'm too old to wait a few years before having another..I want some adult time for me someday!!

Good luck with those decisions..I just think about my unmedicated transition whenever I contemplate pregnancy again
post #147 of 187
LJ has seemed a little congested the last couple of days which I think is due to the air quality in our bedroom. Or something that his sister gave him. He's quite the busy camper fending off her germs, never ending kisses and attempts to diaper him

Having a winter baby is so much more challenging than I had anticipated. By the time Nola was a month old it was April in GA, perfect time to get out the house and enjoy the outdoors with her. I'm not going to complain about the weather b/c I know it's tropical here compared to what some of you are dealing with but I'm constantly worried about if he's too warm or too cold, how much bundling/swaddling I should from the car to our destinitation etc

I think that we'll have a couple of more children. If we manage to survive this first year
post #148 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grantsmommy
I'm an only child, but dh is one of 5.
I'm an only and my husband is the youngest of 6 so I know what you mean.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stacyleigh
for those with three, do you notice your middle child getting left out often?
That's exactly why we've always - and I do mean always, even in college before we were married - said we would have either 2 or 4 kids. Didn't want an only child (I hated it), didn't want more than 4 (too many) and didn't want 3 (middle child syndrome!) At two we were trying to decide if we were done; the two we had were really a handful. Fate decided for us and we ended up with 3; my dh is all prepared to push on through and go for 4 but I just don't know if I'm up for it. I'm tryingto remember that A) Bronwen is only 8 weeks old, so of course everything is crazy around here. It does eventually calm down. B) I have ppd this time, which I've never had, and feel totally overwhelmed to the point of panic attacks. I'm trying to remember this will pass. I won't always feel this overwhelmed. C) I really don't want my poor little guy to be the "middle" child. I feel so bad for him.

So, yeah, on the having more babes thing we are totally out on a limb. I just keep telling myself I have lots of time to decide. Speaking of which, not to get to personal, but what is anyone using for contraception? We've gone with nothing (lactation and wanting more kids basically) for 6 years. Now I have a sleeper (YEAH!) so my period may return much sooner than with the first two. It's been so long since we've used anything and there are so many new options I'm having trouble deciding.
post #149 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by BoobyJuice
Speaking of which, not to get to personal, but what is anyone using for contraception? We've gone with nothing (lactation and wanting more kids basically) for 6 years. Now I have a sleeper (YEAH!) so my period may return much sooner than with the first two. It's been so long since we've used anything and there are so many new options I'm having trouble deciding.
I just was thinking about this last night. DH and I had sex and afterwards, I started thinking, "Oh no, we better start using some contraception soon." We honestly haven't given it a thought in the last 11 months or so. We will probably just use NFP and a diaphragm.
post #150 of 187
Thread Starter 
With ds, I got my period when he was 12 weeks old! And he was a big nurser, didn't have any food at all until he was 9 months old. Ava sleeps more and eats less, so I figure I'll start any day now! At least I'm regular, right? We just use condoms because then we can control when I don't get prego. At this point, I want to wait! We also talked about the 2 or 4 thing because of the middle child syndrome. I don't want to plan too much. I figure that if I'm meant to have more children, I'll get the urge again in a few years. Right now I just want to enjoy the two I've got, KWIM?
post #151 of 187
I've tried to at least skim most of this thread- but have had little computer time recently. Hopefully I'll manage to keep on top of things more.

Ezra is 6 weeks on Tuesday. He is doing pretty well. Was finally awake for a lot of this morning, and didn't really have a real nap until about 3pm today! He hasn't smiled yet, but I'm hoping for it soon- I remember it was right about 6 weeks with Amelia.

As far as the # of kids goes, we are done with 2. We don't want to be outnumbered, lol! Dh is going to get snipped, but we haven't done anything about scheduling it yet. Haven't had any need for contraception yet either, not that he isn't aching for it... AF showed with dd was 5.5 months (hopefully it will be longer this time), so we've got time, though we will be careful anyhow.

We had a nice trip to Chicago on the train, leaving home when Ezra was 3 weeks old. A great visit with dh's relatives, though we were quite happy to be home. Ezra's nursing finally got better over the trip, so I'm no longer wincing every time he latches on, thank goodness!

We are so happy that the holiday giving period is over. Between new baby/big sister gifts, hanukkah, and Christmas this 6 weeks of getting presents has gotten a little overwhelming- especially for dd! Anyone else ready for this to end?
post #152 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2amelia
Ezra's nursing finally got better over the trip, so I'm no longer wincing every time he latches on, thank goodness!
Yay! That's so exciting! That just happened for us last week too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2amelia
We are so happy that the holiday giving period is over. Between new baby/big sister gifts, hanukkah, and Christmas this 6 weeks of getting presents has gotten a little overwhelming- especially for dd! Anyone else ready for this to end?
YES! I am so sick of writing thank you notes! I am also sick of the huge family get togethers. We had at least three while we were visiting my dad, and we had another one last night with DH's family. Everyone wants to hold the baby, and then she gets upset, then I get upset...

DH's family is funny. I'm slowly getting them used to the fact that I refuse to run and hide just to feed my baby. One of his brothers really doesn't get it--last night I fed Livi three times right next to him (not on purpose, I just happened to be sitting next to him when she got hungry) and he apologized to DH for seeing my breast. Luckily, DH is totally on board with bfing, and he just thinks it's funny. Apparently he got into a big discussion with his siblings about tasting breastmilk, and they were all grossed out that he had tasted it! He offered to let them try it too, but there weren't any volunteers.

As far as having more kids, we're definitely planning on it--but Livi is our first baby, not our second or third. When we got married we talked about five. We'll see how that goes. Especially since you must have the sex in order to get the babies. Yeah...maybe this week...
post #153 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by clynnr
As far as having more kids, we're definitely planning on it--but Livi is our first baby, not our second or third. When we got married we talked about five. We'll see how that goes. Especially since you must have the sex in order to get the babies. Yeah...maybe this week...
:LOL My DH isn't getting any, either, but not for a lack of trying. My episiotomy hurts when we try, so we stop. I really miss sex. I just keep hoping my body will eventually heal. It really bums me out because I had such an easy pregnancy, and I'm having a harder time post partum. My poor bum hasn't healed yet, either. (Sorry if TMI)

On the contraception thing, I have no idea what to do. We talked about DH getting snipped, but I start to worry I'll want another baby, although I don't know if I could handle two and the thought of going through all of pregnancy and delivery again kind of horrifies me. We're trying to use condoms, but I HATE them. I swear that is part of why I'm having such a hard time having sex. I used the rhythm method for 7 years, but that's how we ended up with Livi. At least it worked for that long!! I can't use the pill because my body doesn't like it. I need to research IUDs. I don't want to use anything that messes with my body's cycle. If anyone has any ideas, that would be great.

I already had AF visit, although some women on the lactation board say it might not have been her. I'm pretty sure it was, though. I'm BF and co-sleeping, so I don't get it. I had to start using estrogen cream at night, and a week after that she arrived so I'm wondering if it is related.
post #154 of 187
Well I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one agonizing over more children. I think because Xander is so much easier than Owen was that I'm even considering it right now. I look at Xander and think how could I not have another newborn again? Then I have my toddler into something right when I start nursing and I change my mind...

Anyhow, Xander is doing so well. He can push himself up on his forearms and has been rolling from belly to back since 3 weeks! He's so strong it's actually scary sometimes because I'm not sure I'm ready for a babe who does everything early. We'll see. He's over 14lbs, also, and into 3-6 month clothes. Maybe that's why I want another one... he didn't stay teeny tiny for long and I miss it? Not really, but ykwim... it goes so fast.

Quote:
DH's family is funny. I'm slowly getting them used to the fact that I refuse to run and hide just to feed my baby.
This is dh's family also... last time with ds#1 I complied with it. This time I didn't, and it actually went better than I thought. We were having issues with Xander coughing and sputtering and pulling off leaving me to spray all over for a while, though, so I waiting until that was under control because I wasn't ready to spray all over one of my BIL's. Don't think I ever will be.

Since I know too many babies who were conceived during EBFing, and Xander is sleeping 4hour stretches now, there is no way I'm relying on ebfing for birth control even now. Not that we're actually having sex regularly, but we're using condoms for now. I KNOW that I don't want another baby for a few years at least... I'm considering an IUD this time, but for some reason the thought gives me the shivers.

Quote:
Having a winter baby is so much more challenging than I had anticipated.
Tell me about it. It's even harder when you have a toddler who needs to go outside just to blow off steam, but it's -12degrees celcius and there is no way you're going to take your 6week old out in it, even in the pouch zipped in your coat. I thought winter with just Owen was hard, but it's harder now because he NEEDS to be out there and I can't take him. I hate January/February, and am dreading the holidays being over because short work weeks for DH will also disappear.

Anyhow, this is way longer than it should be and it's time to find lunch...

s to everyone.
post #155 of 187
OMGosh! I'm so glad I'm not the only one obsessing over having another baby already! I go back and forth all the time, our plan was always 3 with the option of 4. Well, Dominic is #4 and I just can't imagine never being pregnant again! His pregnancy was so easy and enjoyable. His birth was awesome and he is the most content easy going little baby. He makes it soo easy to say I'll do it again Then I think of my big guys and I wonder how I could do this to them again. I feel like they are getting the short end of the stick, they are such good helpers though and they love the baby so much, even my oldest keeps talking about one more! I don't think I'll ever feel like I want to be done, though. So I'm not quite sure I'll know when to stop having babies! DH wants to open his own shop, the plan was by 30 and that's already been pushed off 5 years. Time with a baby goes so fast though. But he says theres other things to life than having babies, I don't know about that, lol What I've come up with is I'm just not ready to do anything permanant about it, I need to keep my options open!

I noticed that when I had my third, everyone assumes I was done. Now that I have four, the same people just assume I will keep going! Is there some kind of invisible line I crossed or something?! Anyone else notice this?

I'm so interested to hear what everyone has to say about contraception. I hate condoms, wasn't comfortable with an IUD and will not use anything hormonal. I feel so limited How come they can put a man on the moon but can't come up with a way to stop their little swimmers?!?
post #156 of 187
Quote:
I noticed that when I had my third, everyone assumes I was done. Now that I have four, the same people just assume I will keep going! Is there some kind of invisible line I crossed or something?! Anyone else notice this?
I hate all of these assumptions. My family, including my parents assume that we're done with 2. All of my extended family have small families. I'm worried that with another one the support won't be there like it was with my first two. My Mom makes me feel like it's crazy to want another baby. When we told them at after our u/s that it was another boy she said "No girl for Annette". When I suggested that we might have another one she looked horrified and said "You'll just have another boy". I was peeved. I don't know why I'm worrying though, my parents are in love with my boys, and although they help, we were on our own both times very soon. Dh's family is all large (4kids minimum each family), and expect that we'll have another one or two. There is a loooooong history of my rejecting their expectations, though.

Okay, so I'm pretty chatty today... I must keep laundry going (having a cable modem on the way to the laundry room makes laundry take 4x as long as it should )
post #157 of 187
Jill, I'm so in the same boat w/contraception. I agonized about it during my whole pregnancy, b/c Bronwynn was kind of an oops baby and I really, really don't want to get pregnant again anytime soon, at least three years. DH is allergic to spermicides, we both hate condoms, we're pretty opposed to using anything hormonal and IUD's don't always prevent conception, just implantation, so we're morally opposed to that. Grrr...currently we are using co-sleeping (not working too well ), breastfeeding (though Bronwynn is a sleeper), a diaphragm and the rhythm method to try to prevent pregnancy. I sure hope it works.
post #158 of 187
ah, the more kids question. we've always planned to have two, but shortly after giving birth to hazel i think i said something like, "can we adopt the next one?" to dan, heh. we both had at least one sibling growing up, and i really liked having my brother and sister--still do. but our house is pretty small for 4 people, especially when i think about two of those people being teenagers--we could make it into 3 bedrooms, but it would mean not having a living room. the kids could share, i guess, for awhile...and yeah, what the heck am i doing thinking about this when hazel's only 5 weeks old? so, yup, add us to the "undecided" column.

hazel's got a sniffle and the cutest little cough ever. she says: "kah! kah!" i've sucked the goo out of her nose a couple of times with the bulb syringe, which she hates, but it doesn't seem too bad so far. i'm hoping she got the cold from me, so all those breastmilk antibodies can fight it off, and not from the toddler we let touch her on christmas eve before we noticed that his nose was running. agh.

as for contraception...we haven't needed it yet, but soooon. i think we'll stick with condoms for awhile, maybe nfp after things get regular again. gosh but i do miss sex. oh, and there are iuds you can get without hormones--i had one for awhile, but i could feel it in there and it made my periods more heavy and painful to the point where it just wasn't worth it. as i understand it, the ones with hormones aren't that systemic and are a lot more comfortable.

*j
post #159 of 187
I miss sex too. Got fitted for a diaphragm but haven't filled the prescription yet. We tried on christmas night and I was pretty sore. I didn't even have a vaginal birth, it's weird being so tender. So i don't even know if I want to use a diaphragm. I used to use a cervial cap, I was so surprised when the MD told me the failure rate after having a baby -- it's pretty unreliable!

We sorta cosleep, but at the time Rowan was in the cradle by the bed. That's kind of strange. Not that I think a 7-week old will have any opinion on the event, but I didn't want to wake her up.

Scheelimama, I'm so sorry you have to leave Bronwynn to go to school. It would break my heart to put rowan in day care now. I'm so fortunate we have a home business and dh is doing pretty much all the work. so I mostly just have to bf about 10 hrs a day, and try to feed myself and maybe get a couple loads of laundry done in between. Have faith it will work out for you all, even if you don't know how right now.

Well, baby is sleeping on dh's lap right now, so I guess that's my cue to do some housework.
post #160 of 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by richella
We sorta cosleep, but at the time Rowan was in the cradle by the bed. That's kind of strange. Not that I think a 7-week old will have any opinion on the event, but I didn't want to wake her up.
Just be quiet, she'll never know. We cosleep with both kids. We just moved our older dd's full size bed into our room right next to our bed, so basically one humungo bed! DH wanted to have room to cuddle with me and, well, have sex occassionally, and it wasn't really happening with two kids in our bed. We didn't mind if it was just Bronwynn, but there was no room left for us with both of them. And more often than not, they are both in bed with us.
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