My dh is adamant about circumcision... - Page 2

[jonathonsmom]

If nothing else works, show him this. Warning, very disturbing photo.

http://www.circumstitions.com/Restric/Botched4ga.html

Good luck.

Dawn

[amyandelle]

Thanks Mama's,
Well we talked about it again last night and he seemed a little more open on the subject So we have decided that he is going to collect info on the positives of circumcision and I will get together the info on the negatives and we will compare notes. I think this is really a step in the right direction. Of course when it does come down to it my future son will NOT be getting circumcised but I think it might be better to sit and rationally discuss it with dh so he can see the light and then I'll let him believe that HE made the decision not to circumcise :LOL Wish me luck!!
Amy

[Sustainer]

That's good news! Good luck convincing him. Sounds like you won't allow your son to be cut in any case, and that's good too. Here's some more ammo for you:

The AAP (American Association of Pediatrics) no longer recommends routine circ.

If you want the whole Fleiss book, it's called What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Circumcision and you can get it from Powell's or Amazon. Check the library, too.

[Rach]

I have to second what Sustainer says about sex being better with an intact penis. My ex was circ'ed and sex was nice and good and wonderful. But I immediately noticed a difference with my current boyfriend. I'm not sure what it does, but I think it rubs *something* just right! lol. [G spot maybe? *Shrug*]
When I first got pregnant the circ'ed to uncirc'ed rate was 60 to 40, and then a year later the rate was 50 to 50. So the rate is dropping, and it's very well possible that your circ'ed son could be made fun of...not the other way around!! [But of course, as I said earlier, my boyfriend says men don't look at other men! LOL!!]
Your son can always get it done later if it bothers him that much, you know!

[Sustainer]

I have never had any pain with my intact dp, even though he was my first. And we have never needed a lubricant. And it makes sense, when you read about the sexual functions of the foreskin.

[crayon]

I second the link from jonathonsmom- A child did get that! Period, and if my child has any risk at all of something when it is 100% not needed, then it will not be done. I am glad your DH is getting info- he will not find much

You will be very armed, keep asking questions, we will give you the gun and the amo!

[Galatea]

Originally Posted by jonathonsmom

If nothing else works, show him this. Warning, very disturbing photo.

http://www.circumstitions.com/Restric/Botched4ga.html

Good luck.

Dawn

Is this baby dead ("galloping gangrene")? It is a terrible picture.

[crayon]

I do believe he lived. I cant imagine being that little boy or the man he will grow up to be, let alone the parent that let this happen. It breaks my heart!

As you can see they took out almost all of that region of his body.

[rainbowmoon]

I think learning about the myths as well as sexual disfunction among loss of sensation is what convinced my DH.

[Kirsten]

My dh was originally pro-circ (quite strongly) and I was anti - after getting some info from NoCirc (great organization!) I really got him thinking after getting him to look at a book I bought from NoCirc - think it was called something like "40 Reasons Not to Circumcise". Really clearly presented, an easy read. Each "reason" (he'll look different, higher std rate, etc.) was debunked in a plain, straightforward way. Great book!

But what really won him over was when he witnessed the circ of our friends' newborn son. He was with his friend; they walked down the hall to "pick him up" after the procedure. While waiting in the hall, a nurse opened the door to walk in or out and my dh saw the procedure occuring. Dh was horrified, white as a sheet, swore to me we'd never do that to any sons we may have. We ended up having three girls but I was happy to know that it wouldn't be a fight if we had had boys.

I would try to convince him with info that is not too graphic as it seems like that could make him defensive - I am not explaining this well but I think that info presented in a calm, straightforward way will convince him more. I just think of people who are pro-life waving pix of dead babies - it doesn't really draw people to their side, even if they might otherwise agree.

Anyway, good luck. It is a good sign that he is now discussing it with you instead of insisting on his own way. You have lots of time and can win him over.

[Electra375]

I recently gave birth a home to our 3rd child a girl. After I had her the discussion came up about what if next time it's a boy, how do we get him circ'd? (Our first 2 are boys and they are circ'd, his call, not mine.)
My answer was we aren't. He didn't say anything, but he has been talking about hospital births (which will never happen again b/c of the vbac policies reverting back to once a c/s always a c/s).
So, I'll be dealing with this eventually, if we ever have another boy. But I'm sure we'll hash it out during pregnancy not knowing if it is a boy or a girl.

My father shared with me that he is intact and that he was glad we had our boys circ'd! His brother is circ'd. Sometime I will have to ask my dad why he thinks it is good that our boys are circ'd, like that won't be an embarrassing conversation! But I am hoping it will give me some insight to the situation. It shouldn't be a choice, just like abortion shouldn't be a choice.

I have seen some of the video clips attached to members siggies, they are horrifying and enlightening. Educating you man can be a hard thing to do. I've read a few post here that indicate that the pleasure for an intact man is better than a circ'd man, I wonder how true that is. That would be my starting point, what guy wants to diminish his son's future sexual pleasure?

[doula jbw]

This is bringing back memories....I have two sons, almost 6 and almost 4 and my husband and I argued my entire first pregnancy over circumcision we were both equally as adament but the difference is that I had facts and research backing me up and I told him that he would have to crawl through the chains and over my dead body to bring my baby to the doctors office for something I consider mutilation. That was it - he was resentful for awhile but that was a small price to pay.
On a second note - when my oldest was 4 I overheard he and his buddy talking about hte others new baby brother. " he was crying allot when he got circumcised" the buddy said. "What is circumcised?" asked my son. "it's when the doctor cuts the skin off the end of your penis" his buddy answered. My son looked at his friend then over at me with a horrified look on his face and asked why they would do that. That was a tough one to answer.
But a year later when he asked why his daddy's and his penis were different it was easy to say because he was circumcised and you weren't - he accepted easily and happily

[Mavournin]

Originally Posted by doula jbw

On a second note - when my oldest was 4 I overheard he and his buddy talking about hte others new baby brother. " he was crying allot when he got circumcised" the buddy said. "What is circumcised?" asked my son. "it's when the doctor cuts the skin off the end of your penis" his buddy answered. My son looked at his friend then over at me with a horrified look on his face and asked why they would do that. That was a tough one to answer.

What a conversation! Too bad the other kid wasn't as horrified as your son.


DH is intact (I felt so lucky when we were dating and I found that out!) and didn't argue with me one bit about not circing. Otherwise it would have been a deal breaker, there is/was no way I was circing under any circumstances. And I have to say, sex with is much better with the foreskin.

[oliviagoddess]

I think that it's kind of odd that your husband who has such a bad circ experience insists on it. It's like those African countries where they circ women, it's the old women who insist it being done to their daughters and grand daughters.

My husband who has too much taken off as an infant has had problems his entire life. His circ scar tears and sometimes gets infected, a girlfriend of mine had a similar problem and her man had to go get some skin re-attached.

As far as cosmetics, in my sociology class a group of us girls started a chant "we love sweaters, sweaters are good" in response to the circ discussion. When only the prof knew what we were talking about (she was Brazilian and they don't routinely circ) we had a discussion about what the intact penis looks like ("it's like a snake wearing a little turtleneck sweater" ) and this at a Catholic college! I think we should come up with a T-shirt design and send them to pop stars and start a "I (heart) sweaters" movement.

I usually tell men that up to 2/3 of the penis is held inside the body and circ shortens the amount of skin it can extend, thus making the circ'd erect penis smaller. Usually the size vanity thing is enough to have them swear off having their son circ'd.

[loving-my-babies]

Originally Posted by AnnMarie

Simple, tell him NO! Give him stuff to read, make him watch a video, but above all, just don't let it happen. You have the power to protect your child. Ask him if you wanted to circ your daughter and you felt he had no say because he doesn't have female parts, would he be OK with that? Tell him that you are not, and there is no way you will allow this to happen to your son.

I agree. I would try to open his eyes, but if all fails, tell him you just don't believe in genital mutilation.