how do you explain your period?

[mami2f3]

Okay so potty-time is family-time in our house. But 3.5yo Ds is asking a lot of questions now thatI am not sure how to answer:
DS: mommy, you're bleeding. (not alarmed, jsut noting)
me: mommies do that soemtimes

and then these, i have no idea what i said in the ensuing uncomfortable blur:
DS: What are you doing? (changing a tampon) What's that? Can I see that?
me (I think): can I have some privacY?
DS: where's the privacy? can I have some privacy?
me: no I mean can I have a moment alone?
DS: i'll just turn around

okay, this did not go how i wanted it to, but i have no idea how i want it to. i just want him to be able to ask but i feel weird exposing him to EVERYTHING.

suggestions?

[carolsly]

Fm the lips of my older mama friend w/3 kids..

Every woman has a bleeding time of the month so that we can have babies if we want to.

Another one of my friends freaks out if her son sees her nekid (her son is 5)..I'm sure he's going to grow up to be slightly off kilter..HA HA.

But starting your children off with this much information when they ask is fine. My 2.5 yo is very curious and will stick her head in my crotch area when I am taking care of my Diva Cup. I don't want dh in there while I'm trying to rinse it out..re insert it..and drag the 2.5 yo out screaming..just not worth it.

We too have an open bathroom policy..dh has help all the time..may be TMI..but I can't understand why anyone would want to be in the bathroom with my dh during his evening poo time. UCK.

[Thmom]

I explained the truth.
A woman's body prepares for a baby every month in her uterus which is a part inside mommy's tummy that grows a baby. (an encylopedia or book showing the inside parts of a woman might help) It gets ready for a baby by building up lots of good nutrients for the baby to live on, just like a plant needs good dirt to grow. If a baby isn't planted then those good nutrients aren't needed and they'll go bad if I just save them up. So my body lets go of them and I call it a ____ (we went with menstrual flow) I use a tampon (show him a clean one) to absorb the blood with the nutrients so it doesn't make a mess. He'll probably so "oh" and move on. You may have to reassure him that it doesn't hurt

eta: that if he does continue to ask and you get to a point where you're explaining the entire reproductive system just go with it. Try to keep it simple and use clinical terms. I think this sets kids up to see sex as normal and something they can easily talk to thier parents about. My 6&4yr know all there is to know about making a baby, but they think it's just that part A fits into part B and a baby is made. They don't know that sex is enjoyable and what an orgasm is etc. They know the biology of sex and my 9yr knew this as well at age 3 and this last summer we talked to him about "changes in his body" and orgasms and safe sex etc. I think because he already knew the biology the rest was easier to talk about and none of us were embarressed to talk about it since it's always been an open topic.

[UnschoolnMa]

I think the "Mommies do that sometimes" answer was great. I think something along those lines was my first response to the kids' questions too. Every woman has her own comfort level when it comes to this sort of thing I guess, so it's hard to say what to do. I was very comfortable but then my son found my pads and tampons (he was 3 and thought they were cool. Undid that little latchy doo-hicky on the cabinet. Sigh lol) He asked what they were and I told him the proper names (tampon, pad) and that they are for mommies to use at a special time.

Only you can decide what you are comfortable with, and since it seems like you are already trying to be careful and not make this out to be something "bad", I think you can find a happy balance. Privacy was something to be had when my 3 year old was asleep so I have no concept of that sort of memory lol. (I think it's cute that he said he would turn around :LOL: ) I would just stick to calling it what it is, setting comfortable limits, and seeking privacy whenever you are lucky enough to find it. If you can handle it all as normally as you would handle telling him what the weather is (and of course, it is normal after all) I think it will be all good and he can grow into knowing what it is all about.

[teachermom]

the conversation in our house has gone something like this...

kid....why you bleeding?
mom...because I am having my period
kid...whats a period?
mom...it's something grown up ladies have (I have had to expand upon this as dd got older, of course) it does not hurt, it's good blood
kid...good blood?
mom...yes. when you get cut or hurt sometimes you have ouchy blood. this is good blood because it helps take care of a baby if mommies grow one in her tummy. if no baby grows the blood washes out each month.
kid...OH.

of course sometimes I get...
kid...it's messy
mom...yes it is, but thats ok
kid...OH

:LOL

[carolsly]

teachermom..do you mind if I borrow that one as kids get older? I really like that one.

Carol

[teachermom]

:LOL but of course! I never thought much about how I explained it until a friend of mine (who is 15) over heard me make a referance to good blood and asked what I was talking about so I explained how I told my kids about periods. she thought it was so cool. it's a good thing whan 15 year old girls think you are cool...especially if you are a long way past 15.

[sunnmama]

I use a nest analogy that I first heard of here at MDC. Actually, I only saw the words "nest analogy"...and never really read what that analogy was :LOL, so I sorta made up my own analogy

Dd knows that every month (well, for me, about 8 random times a year ) a woman's body builds a nest. That nest is in her uterus, and is preparation for a baby to grow. Each month, if there is no baby, the nest flows out of her body. It looks like blood, but actually it is menstrual fluid, and it is full of stuff that helps a baby grow. It doesn't hurt, and it is normal and healthy. Someday, when she is a woman and has hair on her vulva :LOL, she will have a menstrual cycle, too. And then we will celebrate!

[lab]

Originally Posted by sunnmama

I use a nest analogy that I first heard of here at MDC. Actually, I only saw the words "nest analogy"...and never really read what that analogy was :LOL, so I sorta made up my own analogy

Dd knows that every month (well, for me, about 8 random times a year ) a woman's body builds a nest. That nest is in her uterus, and is preparation for a baby to grow. Each month, if there is no baby, the nest flows out of her body. It looks like blood, but actually it is menstrual fluid, and it is full of stuff that helps a baby grow. It doesn't hurt, and it is normal and healthy. Someday, when she is a woman and has hair on her vulva :LOL, she will have a menstrual cycle, too. And then we will celebrate!

WOW! I think you got that from me! Wow! I affect people.

Anyway, this is how I explained it to all of my children and how my mom explained it to me.

Depending on the child's level of knowledge, you can explain the egg. Here goes:

Every month, mommy has a chance to grow a baby. Just like a chicken has an egg with no baby in it, mommy has an egg in her body without a baby in it. Just in case there is a baby in the egg, Mommy's body makes a soft warm place for the egg. Mommy's body prepares in case it does grow a baby. The nest mommy's body makes is made out of blood and tissue and it keeps the egg safe and cushioned. If there is no baby in the egg, then the nest has to come out. When it comes out, it is called a cycle or a period. Mommy has a period every month unless there is a baby. If there is a baby, then Mommy is pregnant.


You get the idea....

Of course depending on the age of the child, you can add in how the egg is fertilized, or leave out the blood aspect. But that is the basic idea.

[candiland]

Yeah, I pretty much explained that a woman's body prepares a place for the baby each month, and if a baby isn't made, it flushes out and tries again next month.

My dd, who turns five next week , is asking VERY SPECIFIC QUESTIONS about sex and having babies. Like, "Well, momma, how does the sperm GET to the egg?" That sort of thing. Any advice on THAT one???

[5plus1angel]

Originally Posted by candiland

My dd, who turns five next week , is asking VERY SPECIFIC QUESTIONS about sex and having babies. Like, "Well, momma, how does the sperm GET to the egg?" That sort of thing. Any advice on THAT one???

No advice for you, but that seems like an entirely whole new thread! :LOL

[lab]

Originally Posted by candiland

My dd, who turns five next week , is asking VERY SPECIFIC QUESTIONS about sex and having babies. Like, "Well, momma, how does the sperm GET to the egg?" That sort of thing. Any advice on THAT one???

Oh man! My dd was like that. Very intuitive. She told me at 6 that (while watching me carefully!) she KNEW you didn't have to be married to have a baby! YIKES

My advice to you would be to take a deep breath and just say it. Answer her. I don't ever not answer a question - it's hard. It sounds like your dd has an understanding of the body. Does she know the basics? Penis, vulva, vagina etc? I don't know that I would discuss sex yet - of course she may be very mature. I would probably say something ambiguous like - The sperm gets to the egg from the penis. Or - say something even more ambiguous like the sperm comes from the penis. If she then asks how the penis gets the sperm to the egg - Take a deep breath and just say it - The penis goes in the vagina!

Fun times!

[sunnmama]

Originally Posted by lab

WOW! I think you got that from me! Wow! I affect people.

.

[DaryLLL]

Originally Posted by candiland

Yeah, I pretty much explained that a woman's body prepares a place for the baby each month, and if a baby isn't made, it flushes out and tries again next month.

My dd, who turns five next week , is asking VERY SPECIFIC QUESTIONS about sex and having babies. Like, "Well, momma, how does the sperm GET to the egg?" That sort of thing. Any advice on THAT one???

I well remember my dd was 5 when she asked that question. I just took a deep breath and said, the daddy puts his penis into the mommy's vagina and then the sperm comes out and goes to the egg.

No hearts and flowers or anything.

She said, oh, and ran off to play and I collapsed on the couch. LOL

We were lucky that I had 2 homebirths that my dds were well prepared for (altho they did not end up seeing either actual delivery). Plus with my bfing support volunteer work, our kids were pretty anatomy savvy at young ages.

When oldest dd was about 5 I got the Facts of Life Usborne book. it was too old for her and her 3 yo sister, but we used it just for the pictures at first.

[meowee]

every month mama gets a red baby blanket in her tummy

if Hashem (God) gives dada a baby to give to mama, then the blanket keeps the baby warm till he's big and fat and ready to pop out!

if there's no baby, the blanket turns to water and comes out.

DD calls "feminine products" "baby blanket catchers."

[Stream]

Dd's favorite, favorite, favorite book in the whole world is A Child is Born (you know the one-- from the 70s originally with all the close-up photos of babies developing and such). Not a kids' book, really, but the pictures make it really easy to talk through the whole conception - baby process. Given her *worship* of that book, she (since 2.5 or 3) has had a really good basic scientific knowledge of where babies come from. From her fairly barebones understanding, I can fill in the details and expand where she needs expanding-- it's worked so well for us. To help her understand, I make lots of analogies and I personify it all where I can (she knows the sperm say "Let me in! Let me in!" and the egg says "Only one!"). So that's how we've handled the "where do babies come from?" questions.

I got pg in July, right before she turned 3, and before then she'd notice when I had my period sometimes, but she's never been curious about it. I love the nest anaology! I think she'll really get that one, when we get there.

[intensity_too]

I explained it to my son like this:

Mommy's make warm places in their belly's for babies to grow. If a baby doesn't grow then the warm place comes out amd it's called a period. A new, fresh one is made after the old one comes out in case there is a baby next month. When the old warm place comes out it is red and looks like blood but it is actually full of good things to help a baby grow. It doesn't hurt mama. All mama's get a period. He was 2.5 when he asked. We were showering together and I did not realize my period had started. My son, being at crotch height, did notice. He also knows that daddy's put the baby in mama's tummy but has not asked about the process yet. He has told my Dh that he needs to get busy and "put another baby in mama's belly". :LOL

[candipooh]

Originally Posted by candiland

My dd, who turns five next week , is asking VERY SPECIFIC QUESTIONS about sex and having babies. Like, "Well, momma, how does the sperm GET to the egg?" That sort of thing. Any advice on THAT one???

Nature shows : It has worked for us. Oh and watching our two dogs. The movie "the bear" is what started the questions. "What are they doing?!" It was a good chance for me to talk about "mating" the sperm and the egg and making babies. I actually haven't told her "inset tab A into tab B" part yet but I know will be soon (she is almost 6)
She came to me yelling "Coper is mateing with Max mom" they are both male and are having some domanace problems. Now she tells everyone that comes to our house. LOL
The last time she was watching "The Bear" I asked her "what are they doing?" (just to see what she would say) "they mating mom" I asked her if it was weird and she said "no, it is kind of cool" Then she thought for a second and said "does daddy do that to you"
"Yes. thats how you got here"...."oh"

[bec]

Teachermom, that is pretty much how I explained it to dd1 (she's 3.5). Now she'll see me getting out a pad and say, "Oh mama, you got your period, again?!" I keep telling her I get it every month.


Bec

[Thmom]

Originally Posted by candiland

My dd, who turns five next week , is asking VERY SPECIFIC QUESTIONS about sex and having babies. Like, "Well, momma, how does the sperm GET to the egg?" That sort of thing. Any advice on THAT one???

I have several childbirth books that show a men and womens anatomy in a cross section. They already knew that sperm came from men and eggs from women so it was just a matter of saying see how there is a space here (the vaginal canal) that is where the penis fits and then you can see the tubes that the sperm travel etc.... I agree with the above poster about no hearts and flowers just stick to the facts and you'll be fine!