What is normal 4 yo behavior?

[coleslaw]

My dd is about to turn 4 and I have seen some changes in her recently that are driving me crazy. I am trying to figure what is age-appropriate and what is something I need to pay extra attention to. Any books that focus on this or words of wisdom?

[sunnmama]

:
Mine will be 4 in Feb, and I'm feeling like I need a refresher course in normal child behavior

[lauraess]

Hey- My little (??) girl is going on 4 and i think this is becoming a strange time. Shes going through a slight separation anxiety phase, very very contrary, smart as anything, and sometimes really really scaring me with her attitude! It could very well be our family stress lately but i dont know...
so. yeah... where is the right info on this age??
Laura

[*LoveBugMama*]

Noah will be 4 in May.

He is a really sweet, smart and sensitive boy. But lately he has been SO much more angry and "stubborn" than I am used to.

He is definately finding himself, and testing every boundarie/limit he can. All the time. :LOL

It`s hard. But at the same time I am glad to see that he is standing up for himself.

I would love some book recommandations for this age.

[charmarty]

My girls are 4 too. 3 was really really tough! 4 is really really hard! I am sticking my text in this thread to get some goood info too....

[jenaniah]

Max turned 4 in August and these were some changes that happened (both positive and negative) He became much less whiny and has tantrums much less often (like never now) He has his moments now when he is "sullen" mostly if he is tired or hungry. He asks "why?" everytime I ask him to do something. He just came out of a phase of about a month where he peed in his pants every day at least once usually 2-3 times (after being trained for over a year) What else??? Oh he is very funny now and is developing quite an imagination (although I think he is a little behind in that department) I can't really think of anything else that hasn't been mentioned already

[amethystrse]

I think at 4 their personalities change as they're growing and discovering more about themselves and the world around them. The changes in behavior I think are quite normal. They seem to be a part of their learning. Learning what is right, and what isn't. What isa cceptable and what should be avoided. How what they do affects everyone around them and not just themselves.

My son is turning 4 in a few months and I'm seeing this as a milestone in his life. He's entering a new developmental stage. And I'm trying to adjust how I react to the things he does accordingly.

For instance, I've always used simple explanations for teaching him the why and why not's of things. Now I'm making those explanations more complex (not too much so. Just enough to satisfy his curiosity and give him more knowledge without confusing him). Plus, I'm showing him more how his actions have consequences.

Orion tends to get very hyper sometimes so I find that I have to find ways to calm him down more. I've used art as a way to calm him. It works for him. An hour of painting in the morning leaves him calm the rest of the day. Sometimes I give him dough to play with. Same effect. Plus, we go to parks, which works really well also.

My point is, finding what works to help both you and your child through this transition can take time and energy. It's easy to get frustrated. I find that reminding myself that he is growing and what he needs from me is guidance, it helps to keep my stress and frustration down.

*hugs*

[Summertime Mommy]

Koeby turned 4 in june. He is asing why constantly, and pushing boundaries to test his limits. He has also become a little more needy and louder than he used to be. His personality is really starting to come out now too, and he is starting to really explore the world and ask questions. He has also become really fond of jokes.

[sunnmama]

I found something!!!

I found something, and it was on my bookshelf all along....
Actually, I had it in a pile to donate, when it dawned on me that this might be just the book I need!

The book is the "Caring for Your Baby and Young Child-Birth to Age 5", the "Complete and Authoriatative Guide" by the AAP. It is written by Steven Shelov, MD and Robert Hannemann, MD. I got the book for free from my grocery store when dd was born :LOL

Now, I *do not* necessarily recommend the book for GD advice, but it has a decent description of normal 4 yo behavior. From the intro of "age 4 to 5 years":

"Before you know it, the somewhat calm child of three becomes a dynamo of energy, drive, bossiness, belligerence, and generally out-of-bounds behavior...........he is actually learning from all these experiences. Eventually, this will let up (just when you thought you couldn't take it for another day), and gradually a more confident, calm child will emerge around his fifth birthday."

There is more information about language (4 letter words, "I hate you"--all such powerful stuff that is NORMAL), fantasy and "tall tales", security and insecurity, bragging, rigidity, friendship, violent play, sexual curiosity, etc. All these new "issues" that have cropped up in my house....all normal!!!

Again...*not* a GD book, but helpful (IMO) from the GD standpoint, because it elucidates the normal behaviors for a 4 yo--so we can relax knowing that "this is a phase....this is a phase...."

[coleslaw]

Thanks to everyone for their personal insights and to sunnmama for that book - great info! It's good to know that we are not alone here. Of course this all hit right around the busy holiday season as it usually does due to dd's bday. She always seems to make big changes a few weeks before her birthday. It's never dull. :LOL

There are some things that haven't come up yet, but I will be on the lookout. It's nice to have a heads-up for once.