Originally Posted by 2tadpoles
At their ages, I shouldn't have to bring everyone's jackets for them. IMO, that's coddling.
See, I see it as thoughtfulness.
|But she takes it, nonetheless, right?
Not always. If we have one jacket and two of us, we generally go through the whole "Here, wear mine" "No, that's okay, you need it", "No, I have a sweater on, I'll be fine", "No, really, I'm not that cold (shiver)". We do try to always store spares in the car, too, so it's not that far. I have a warm wool plaid jacket that's older than I am and was originally my father's, and it lives in the car...
I don't know why she doesn't take advantage of my doing things for her, but she doesn't. Maybe it goes hand in hand with asking for her help regularly, although she can always say no - but she rarely does. Maybe it's because I really do need her help, and she can see that? Maybe it's because I try really hard not to characterize her as lazy when she doesn't want to do something, or to characterize doing things for her as coddling.
People started telling me to stop carrying her when she was 18 months old. She was really big and had been walking for almost a year, but she still wanted to be carried sometimes. I promised her that I'd carry her for as long as she wanted to be carried, although sometimes she got too heavy and I needed to out her down for a while. I carried her off and on for year, not for long walks really but the kind of thing where you pop a kid on your hip for a few minutes, or carry them to bed when they fall asleep somewhere else. Then one day when she was 5 she fell asleep in the car and I reached in to carry her tothe house, and she shook me off and said, "No, I can walk." She was kind of woozy and I asked if she was sure, and said I was happy to carry her.... but she was sure, and she never wanted me to carry her again. Actually, a year later she started carrying me, but that's another subject...