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Originally Posted by Dar
Maybe it's because I try really hard not to characterize her as lazy when she doesn't want to do something, or to characterize doing things for her as coddling.
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No offense, but the dynamics in a family of two are much different than in a family of four. Been there, done that. It's easy to be "thoughtful" of one other person. It's different when there are three other people to be thoughtful of. I won't feel obligated to remember everything for everybody. The children aren't babies anymore.
There are times when people are forgetful. There are times when people are reluctant to do what others suggest. And there are times when people are lazy. Children are no exception; they're people, too, and I can tell the difference between forgetfulness and laziness in my children. If my kids know (in advance) that we're going to go on a long car ride or be gone for a couple of hours and can't be bothered to grab a bottle of water even though they've been reminded, then they will be thirsty. That's the consequence, and consequences are how people learn.
If, on the other hand, something unforeseen arises, then that's a different story. Last week we got together with some other homeschool families at a library to make holiday decorations for a big party we're having. We planned on being gone for about 3 hours, between driving time and craft time. We packed water bottles and snacks. After the crafting, one of the moms who lives near the library invited a bunch of us to her home, and we wound up staying there until evening. So of course, the kids were starving when we left. I didn't say, "You should have been prepared and packed a sandwich." We stopped for dinner.
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| People started telling me to stop carrying her when she was 18 months old. She was really big and had been walking for almost a year, but she still wanted to be carried sometimes. I promised her that I'd carry her for as long as she wanted to be carried, although sometimes she got too heavy and I needed to out her down for a while. I carried her off and on for year, not for long walks really but the kind of thing where you pop a kid on your hip for a few minutes, or carry them to bed when they fall asleep somewhere else. Then one day when she was 5 she fell asleep in the car and I reached in to carry her tothe house, and she shook me off and said, "No, I can walk." She was kind of woozy and I asked if she was sure, and said I was happy to carry her.... but she was sure, and she never wanted me to carry her again. |
My 9yo still likes to be carried, and since he's only 50 lbs. I can still do it. He also enjoys piggyback rides.
) I love doing this for them and consider it one of the beautiful things of being a mother. I chose to have this big family and therefore I do the extra work required.
