Question for ya'll

[matts_mamamama]

Ok, I admit, I am new to GD (son is 15 months old and he's my first, so I'm new to a lot!) I understand (I think) the whole natural consequences thing and dh and I are trying that with ds who, obviously, wants to get into everything. We've put everything away that we don't want him to get to, but there are some things that can't be put away and I'm not sure what to do about those. Just for example, the only lights in the family room are lamps on the end tables. He starts off just pointing, making noises and looking, but inevitably, he wants to touch and then pull the wire.

My question is this: How do we teach him not to touch without just saying NO. I know that no is not the best thing to say, but what exactly am I supposed to be saying that will (a) get his attention and (b) work??

Thanks!

[mamaduck]

At that age, I tried hard to remind myself that his impulse to explore was a *good* thing. He *needs* to explore and touch everything around him, and by allowing and fascilitating his exploration you are meeting his needs, and feeding his brain.

I went to extremes to make our home child friendly. Dangerous lamps went in boxes in the closet and were replaced with mounted wall lamps. We had one 5 ft. standing hallogen lamp that we blocked into a corner by arranging furniture around it strategically. Yes, things looked a little odd... but appearances are not the highest priority.

Another approach I used was to encourage them to touch things nicely. I spent time teaching them the proper way to handle precious or dangerous things. They like to hear "yes" and sometimes you can tack on a "like this..." and teach him a safe way that he can touch the lamps.

[PuppyFluffer]

I have used this sort of "aa aa" sound. The same sort of attention getting noise I make when the dog is about to grab a bite of something off the kitchen counter and she does not think I am looking! It is just an attention grabber so that I can swoop in and re-direct the attention on to some other very cool thing! Redirect is the name of the game at that age.

I used to keep a very interesting toy that my dd liked but didn't see that often for the difficult redirecting times. If there was something she shouldn't have and I needed to distract her, I'd bring out a special toy and say "Wow, look at this!" I used to keep the special toy up on a shelf out of her normal range of sight and out of her access. I also swapped out the "special" things. That is what keeps them fresh - take a toy out of circulation for a while. It's exciting all over again when it reappears.

[luckylady]

I did what mommaduck did - our home philosophy was pretty much if she can reach it, she can touch it, and I therefore taught her how to touch gently and take care of our things. at that age the are so curious about everything!

[Linda KS]

I used to tell my kids that something "wasn't a good toy" and then I help them find something that was a good toy. Sometimes my kids just wanted to explore real things, so I would get them pan and a wooden spoon or other such harmless things that were "mine" and had a real purpose.

[PuppyFluffer]

I want to add that our house is totally baby/toddler safe. We re-arranged things so she has a safe environment. Yes, it may look a bit odd but we have never been the House Beautiful type home anyway.

When you can move all that is unsafe you create a much more positive environment where you can let them explore.

Another hidden bonus is that if you pack a few things away for a while for safe keeping.....you just might realize you didn't really need it in the first place. It is a good decluttering strategy!

[Bippity]

Karen - we do the ehh-ehh sound too! So glad to know I'm not the only one! (We got the puppy about a month before I got pregnant.) So, we were working on dog training until DD was born & that sound had been so ingrained by then... But, it works & DD doesn't run around saying No all the time! (But she says ehhh-ehhh and now gives hand signals to the dog to sit & down - whe he doesn't do for her...) :LOL

We definitely re-arranged our house to baby-proof it too. Strategically placed furniture is everywhere in our house! I don't think DD's ever seen an outlet with something plugged into it. It's either hidden with furniture or covered with those outlet covers.

[matts_mamamama]

I tried the sounds instead of the word no this evening and got an immediate response from him!

We, too, did very much babyproof, but the one lamp has to stay, otherwise no light in the family room! LOL. There, thankfully, are no exposed outlets with things plugged in - everything is behind furniture. I appreciate the ideas, esp. the special toy rotation. DS plays with so many things that aren't his toys, my mother says "All those toys and you play with... (insert household object here)!" It annoys the heck out of me, but that's another thread!

[PuppyFluffer]

On one ever said the "special" toy had to be a toy in the typical sense! :LOL

Maybe try a colorful Tupperware bowl and a wooden spoon for a drum or a plastic jar (think Skippy peanut butter :Puke) with rocks in it for a musical shaker. There are lots of cool things you can give children that are not toys in the typical sense.

Our dd just loves gadgets and things. She gets involved with what is in her environment instead of toys often.

I am glad an alternative sound besides "No" worked for you. Now the next thing is to not overuse it so he tunes it out. When you work to create positive environments for children it is amazing how little you have to use no or other sounds meant to stop their actions.

[PuppyFluffer]

Bippity, strangely enough, dog training has been a wonderful foundation for toddlerhood! The need to be creative and consistant and the ability of mine to come at the same situation from several angles are skills I gained while training dogs and they have been very useful for my daughter. Also the observational skills. Dogs don't speak English, they talk with body language. A trainer has to pay attention to a dog to understand how they are feeling and be able to read their actions. I am very observant of my dd and am tuned in to her more so than my dh. A lot about dog training is based on natural consequences too so following that thought with dd is a natural extension.

The thing about dogs is that they stay at the 2-3 year old mentality point. I'm curious to see how my parenting skills shape up with an older child. I am glad I have time to grow with her.