Leatherette> Thanks so much for your words of encouragement
- sure feels right coming from someone who "knows" perhaps what im talking about.
Lately, I feel and think that many people are looking at me sideways. maybe it's just that i've come to beleive that since my behavior of late has been whacked. I try not to dwell on it and tell myself I really dont know the truth as to other's peoples actions or behaviors.
I sure do hear ya with the endless bull being thrown your way.
>> Thats how i've felt in the last month, it being almost unbearably nuts. between the dogs, the kids, my dh and my relationship, the holidays, and my newest endeavor giving me a "thrill ride" ( The Teacher training program i was enrolled in folded unexpectedly) and my daughter deciding she didnt want to go to Her "school"( it's a home care situation) I really felt like beleving the lie my head wants to deal out and thats that "life is a joke, YOUR life is a joke"
I seem to go back and forth with the permission to be less than. sometimes i think im struggling with the addiction of trying to be perfect. I will be obsessed until i almost kill myself with worry and anxiety and then i absolutely HAVE TO Back off. It seems like binging.
I really thought i had gotten much better with this... but now... i dont know.
It seems like as my kids get older I go through issues of my own childhood. And thats definately difficult. right now my son is in first grade and im constantly worried about what's happening with him and other kids and how much is he affected by either my genes or the environment i've given him.
I think im going to begin to meditate on letting this go. Yes. meditating with the intention to let go knowing my school years were mine and can not be done over and his is his only, that i've done the best i could with him. It's so hard to think of his pain... yet maybe a lot of it is really mine from many years ago. does this make sense?