My dad's an alcoholic. He is sober now. He was sober for I think 3 years but got really stressed and had a couple beers so he had to give back his coins to AA and start over.
: Well, that was a few years ago.
My dad is my best friend. He is bright, hilarious, and a great father. Last weekend my BF and I visited his parents. They started going on and on about how after reading Barack Obama's biography and finding out that he had done cocaine they would not vote for him. I think they mentioned him being an alcoholic or maybe another politician. Boyfriend's mom went on a rant about how alcoholics are terrible people and she would never, EVER vote for someone with a history of alcoholism. It was such an angry rant and I didn't want to get into it too much but she defended her position by saying "OH I KNOW ABOUT ALCOHOLICS, MY UNCLE WAS AN ALCOHOLIC". Well effing congrats, lady. Since your uncle was an alcoholic you obviously know ALL ABOUT alcoholism and every alcoholic who has ever walked the planet. My boyfriend and I were trying not to flip out as we tried to explain that you can't judge people by past mistakes like that. Everyone has some demons they've overcome.
This is what I wanted to say to her, but I couldn't, because if she knew my dad was a recovered alcoholic she would probably hate him. (I assume after learning about what a nut she is after her comments):
"Have you ever seen 'It's a Wonderful Life'? You know how Jimmy Stewart's character works every day to make sure the people who are having financial trouble don't end up homeless? That's exactly what my dad does. (we have lots of rental properties in our town) After September 11th, a lot of people in my town were laid off, including several of our tenants. My dad didn't evict a single one and told them to pay him what they could when they could, and together they would get through it. One of his laid off tenants was sobbing because she couldn't even afford a cake when her daughter graduated from high school, so my dad bought the girl's cake. Oh, and my dad was an alcoholic. He's been sober for several years. He's my best friend and one of the happiest, most intelligent people I've ever met. He never cheated on my mother and never hit either of us. He was never mean, he acted STUPID when he would get drunk. Alcoholism doesn't define him, nor does it automatically mean he's a sloppy violent drunk who can't be trusted."
It'll be a week tomorrow since she said that and I'm still really, really stung by it. My post doesn't do her angry ignorance and hurtful words justice.
|Have you ever attended an al-anon meeting (I haven't)?
Do you trust you parent(s) around your children (I don't)?
Do you talk to your kids about alcohol, do you tell them to avoid it (I do)?
My DH also had an alcoholic parent growing up. We're as dry as can be. DH would not even sip the champagne at our wedding toast.
-- I have not. I decided to a few months ago but it just was not possible with my work and school schedule. I would have had to drive over a half hour away in the evenings. It was my last quarter to wrap up my BA and I decided to put Al-Anon on the backburner.
-- Yes, I trust my dad with my life and the lives of my future children. I would even if he was still drinking. He was an alcoholic but I guess I would say he was a mild alcoholic. Still an alcoholic nontheless.
-- When I have kids I will talk to my kids about alcohol and explain our family history of alcoholism.
-- BF and I drink. He has no history of alcoholism other than this uncle of his mom's. We'll have a beer with dinner or a margarita at happy hour or something. Sometimes I drink to get drunk. Sometimes I'll go months without a drink of any sort. I'm not concerned about myself.