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Should MDC add a forum for POC? - Page 4

Poll Results: Should MDC add a forum for POC?

  • 53% (61)
  • 46% (54)
115 Total Votes  
post #61 of 82
umm...I have my worries...

If you are a PWOC (aka white)will you be asked not to post there? If you are a PWOC who blindly stumbles in, how will you be treated? Will the area be password protected?

The fact that we do not seem to see race issues here may be partly because of white privelege. Most PWOC have to be almost literally thrown into the morass of racism before they realize that it exists, I sure did. I thought racism was part of the "bad old days" fortunately I know better, but I am still sticking my foot in my mouth from time to time. It makes me wonder how "foot a la carte" will be dealt with and how racism will be defined here.

Lets just say I have been around...
post #62 of 82
Everyone has agreed that it will not be a closed forum and that people who don't consider themselves POC are welcome to post. No one excludes mothers from posting in the Dad forums or Hetero sexuals from posting in the Queer Parenting forum so it would really make no sense to exclude people from the POC forum.
post #63 of 82
Ok, Don't mind me, just playing devil's advocate for a moment...

How will the first dish of "foot a la carte" be handled? Will the mods handle it alone or will the diner in question be subjected to a pile-on of angry folks? what about repeat diners? and those who bungle the apology with some kind of lame defense?

These questions come out from piles of questions I never asked because they wilted under the test of "what kind of answer do you really expect anyhow?"
I also hope that Cynthia and other administrator types have a long talk with the people at HipMama and at Mamatron...I have learned much at both those places I just worry....:
post #64 of 82
Ok, it's been a while since I've been involved in controversial threads at mothering so I have to say, I really have no idea. But it is my hope that that is handled in the way that Mothering handles all foot in mouth posts on other forums because of my hope for consistency. I'm sure that this problem would not just be exclusive to a POC forum. I wouldn't want the POC forum to be accused of getting away with something nor have to live with being overly policed. So the question would be, what is Mothering's policy on handling situations like this in all areas of the board and why isn't this policy satisfactory to your concerns?

I also hope that Cynthia and other administrator types have a long talk with the people at HipMama and at Mamatron...
I don't know. I think it would be unfair for Mothering to admonish specific people for behavoirs exhibted on another board. IMO, Hipmama was Hipmama, Mamatron is Mamatron and Mothering is Mothering. People should be judged (by Mothering admin) based on their actions at Mothering and no place else. As has been stated before, there is no doubt in my mind that Mothering will put a stop to anything that they feel is detrimental to their community. I think it would be jumping the gun to have a list of warnings of "what will happen to you when" before anything has even happened. I think this would best be handled on a case by case basis.
post #65 of 82
I see your point...

I was actually saying that the admins should talk to the admins at the other boards, not the people who cause difficulties...HipMama no longer has discussion boards and some of that change came out of difficulties related to racism and the unlearning(or not) thereof. I know very well that there are hipmamas on this board and some of them may have a totallly different tack on this issue then I do...I am not saying there should be no POC forum here, I am saying that there are issues that need to be looked at before this is done.

Every board community is a little different. An open POC forum might be really awsome, In fact I hope it works wonderfully and promotes understanding among all of us. But...as the saying goes, "Expect the best, prepare for the worst"

My apologies if this terns out to be a double post.
post #66 of 82
Autumn: I see your point and agree. This was/is a concern of mine, too. But I guess the only way to answer is to start the forum and see what happens.
post #67 of 82
So you are saying that Mothering should talk to the admins of those boards before they decide on whether to add the forum?
post #68 of 82
If I understand Autumn's point about talking to hipMama and mamatron admins about their board experiences it would be in the interest of learning what problems their POC boards have faced so that we can benefit from their experience. I don't think the intention is to find out from them who their troublemakers were/are. That would be entirely inappropriate in my opinion. We deal with what comes our way on our terms and guidelines. But several of our members are under the impression that a major player in hipMama's downfall was the MOC board. And that's what worries them - concern that it may bring us problems as it did hipMama.

So yes, it might be worthwhile to speak to Bea and the mods who resigned from hipMama. And perhaps Mamatron admin too.

I've checked out a few MOC boards around the web. I'm sorry to say that it was a disappointing read. Practically all of the discussions related to parenting and being a SAHM, WAHM, etc. were discussions that are no different than what we have on our boards. On the biggest and most active board found in my search I found a total of two threads that asked obvious POC questions. One was asking where to find toys that portray POC. Another was a complaint about the lack of POC Disney films. The rest were all about the usual questions we all have - what helps start labor naturally, how to co-sleep and be well rested, juggling homeschooling and housework and play, and other such all-color parenting questions. If this is the sort of discussions that will take place - what's the need for a separate board?

Yes we have set up a Queer parenting board and a Dads board. But some even disagree with the need for that, considering it to encourage separatism amongst us. What we should rather do is define our guidelines and acceptable posting behavior and insist on its implementation rather than feel the need to create "safe spaces" for certain identifying parents to discuss topics. The Dads board did bring us some new dad members. But they are not that active across the boards as we had hoped. I would fear the same for the POC should we open a board for them.

Do we need to separate parents of color from the other parents on the board for discussion sake? Why? Is it merely to organize or encourage discussion amongst them? Because we are becoming soooo board heavy we have set criteria for opening new boards. And we are considering removing boards that are barely active.

There has to be a demonstrated need for a board. So far the majority voices have said if it's wanted it should be granted. It's not that simple I'm afraid. If we were to open boards on that basis we'd have over one hundred boards!

Our usual procedure is to start up a thread and get people to post to see the need and feel for a board. Abimommy started a thread in the Finding Your Tribe board for mothers of color but it petered out pretty quickly without much discussion brought up other than an interest in a separate forum. It's here: http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...&threadid=8108

What I'd like to suggest at this point is the same I suggest to anyone who requests a board. Set up a thread titling it appropriately and get to talkin'! If the thread stays active, draws people to discussion, and proves itself to be a need then it may indeed deserve a place in the board sun as a separate board all to itself. Or as a subforum within an existing board. So why not start with that and let's see how it goes. You can use the thread in FYT that abimommy started. Or you can set a new one up in Parenting Issues if you feel that to be more appropriate. Wherever you choose to place it the important thing is to create discussion, not about a need for a board for POC but about parenting topics of interest and concern to POC.

post #69 of 82

Yes, It is Reasonable...

I'm glad you posted, Cynthia, b/c I've been wondering what you thought abt all this.

And I've noticed that basically this thread has petered out, so not too many mamas must want a seperate forum, which is fine with me. I mean, if we can't even keep up a discussion with more than 3 ppl on whether one is desired on not, what's the point?

All that to say, I'm fine with or without one. But, if one was created, I'd post on/in it.

I'm such a fence-sitter...
post #70 of 82
Cynthia hit the nail on the head and three times more eloquently then I could have said it.
post #71 of 82

Re: Yes, It is Reasonable...

Originally posted by Chaka Falls
And I've noticed that basically this thread has petered out, so not too many mamas must want a seperate forum, which is fine with me. I mean, if we can't even keep up a discussion with more than 3 ppl on whether one is desired on not, what's the point?
This thread was intended to be a poll re: the creation of a forum for parents of color, and lots of people have voted. We were asked by a mod to keep the discussion to a minimum here, so I don't think the 'petering out' of this thread can really be seen as an indicator of lack of interest in the forum.
post #72 of 82
tara: okay. sorry.:toilet
post #73 of 82
Chaka: hey, no problem. (what's that toilet mean, anyway? )
post #74 of 82
I don't really know, but it seemed appropriate and I'd never used it before.

I think of it like you need to go soak your head...
post #75 of 82
I still want a POC forum...I was just waiting for it to be created so I could post my thread but if this is the way we want to do it, then I will go to the parenting issues and start my thread there. I don't think necessarily seeing the peetering out of the board means that people aren't interested anymore. For me, I was merely trying to be patient as well as the fact that my thread wasn't pressing.

Cynthia--what is this board full of MOCs who do natural parenting????? I'm so interested. Feel free to PM me.

post #76 of 82
Well I personally think the thread petered out because everyone essentially said what they needed to say. I found myself repeating the same answers on numerous posts.

I didn't know about the Finding your tribe thread. Thanks for pointing it out to me.
post #77 of 82
Perhaps to get POC to post on the tribe thread, someone could link it in their sig line. Just an idea? I mean, of course those threads tend to peter out. Not everyone knows they are there...
post #78 of 82
I don't agree with separating people. I saw it happen on another site. Some white people wanted to read the POC forum, and the POC basically told them to get out and were very hostile about it. The forum was locked and only POC could get in, and then a whole war started. IMO, separating people by race just leads to problems. In a laid back community like this, I don't think it would have a positive impact. But that's just my opinion!
post #79 of 82
Mom2 Ava, I think maybe you missed the thread (I think it was a whole separate thread) where most ppl (if not all) agreed that it would be best if it were not exclusionary. Anyone could come in and share but the purpose of the board would be just to discuss POC parenting issues. It's purpose would be akin to the Queer Parentng and Single Parenting forum. Anyone can go and read there. Anyone can go and post there. And those very mamas and papas who post there frequent other forums on the site. I think I know what site you are speaking of. I used to lurk there and their POC forum really disgusted me. I could not believe that the MOC there could be so exclusionary and hostile. I never would have felt comfortable posting there myself. But, our premise here is totally different, I think.

I really don't see the big issue here at all. I think ppl are making a mountain out of a mole hill.

post #80 of 82
It makes me sad to think of separating it by color. I don't know the nationality, or race of other moms, and I like it that way. Not that I have anything against other races, in fact, I hate racism and think the world is a beautiful rainbow of different skin colors. I just like how not knowing just goes to show that there is a greater culture-human culture. We are all one race. There are white people with darker skin than mine....there are Asians, Hispanics, all kinds of nationalities and races. If you start dividing up the forums, will POC only hang out in "their" forum? Then think of all the parents we will miss. And what if Italians, and Chinese people want their own forum? And what about muts like me? Where will it end?
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