Hi! This is a support/encouragement thread for mamas who're blessed with high-needs babies.
My wonderful son is 9 months old and I've known he was high needs since about week 2. He's extremely active, doesn't sleep much and takes a long time to get to sleep, is very sensitive to his environment, loves people and not things, is very outgoing (though he's recently experiencing separation anxiety), and tends to get irritated very quickly if restrained/sitting still. I feel very lucky to have such an active, curious baby, though I often find myself feeling exhausted. My dh goes to work before ds is up and comes home at or after bedtime. So all week long I've got no help.
I thought maybe we could start by mentioning our greastest mothering challenges, so we can share ideas about how to best handle these areas. I'm always open to suggestions on how to be a better parent!
For me, I find two things most difficult:
1. the fact that Benjamin needs to be constantly moving. I can never rest for even a minute; he likes being in the sling, but he gets really upset if I stop even for a minute to do or look at something. I feel schitzophrenic half the time, always hurrying and flitting from one thing to the next. It's wearing me out.
2. the sleep issue, which kind of goes with the first one. Benjamin doesn't need to sleep much (he's got a natural 30 minute sleep cycle), and he wakes up often if I'm not with him (and even when I am). So that leaves me very little "me" time, which I guess is the hardest thing of all. I need a village to raise him! :LOL We don't live near family or friends, so I don't have a support network or alternate caregiver. I've tried to tell myself to "just give in" to it, but it's a hard theory to put into practice on a daily basis.
These two things are what make me irritable and short-tempered sometimes. I don't like feeling this way. I'm trying to be a good AP mama to Benjamin, but I feel like I fall way short sometimes. It'll be nice to know that there are other moms out there facing similar challenges.
My wonderful son is 9 months old and I've known he was high needs since about week 2. He's extremely active, doesn't sleep much and takes a long time to get to sleep, is very sensitive to his environment, loves people and not things, is very outgoing (though he's recently experiencing separation anxiety), and tends to get irritated very quickly if restrained/sitting still. I feel very lucky to have such an active, curious baby, though I often find myself feeling exhausted. My dh goes to work before ds is up and comes home at or after bedtime. So all week long I've got no help.
I thought maybe we could start by mentioning our greastest mothering challenges, so we can share ideas about how to best handle these areas. I'm always open to suggestions on how to be a better parent!
For me, I find two things most difficult:
1. the fact that Benjamin needs to be constantly moving. I can never rest for even a minute; he likes being in the sling, but he gets really upset if I stop even for a minute to do or look at something. I feel schitzophrenic half the time, always hurrying and flitting from one thing to the next. It's wearing me out.
2. the sleep issue, which kind of goes with the first one. Benjamin doesn't need to sleep much (he's got a natural 30 minute sleep cycle), and he wakes up often if I'm not with him (and even when I am). So that leaves me very little "me" time, which I guess is the hardest thing of all. I need a village to raise him! :LOL We don't live near family or friends, so I don't have a support network or alternate caregiver. I've tried to tell myself to "just give in" to it, but it's a hard theory to put into practice on a daily basis.
These two things are what make me irritable and short-tempered sometimes. I don't like feeling this way. I'm trying to be a good AP mama to Benjamin, but I feel like I fall way short sometimes. It'll be nice to know that there are other moms out there facing similar challenges.
and will make some really well intended comments about her not manipulating us or 'running the show'. If we didn't all live together it would just not be an issue at all. But they see it all, when dd is doing GREAT and when I am exhausted and at the end of my rope. Im their dd and they hate to see me struggling. So, I guess all of this to say that it is hard to have a bad day that is just simply that without everyone trying to give me well intended advice because I am having a hard time somedays. That then feeds into me doubting what I am doing (even though I know it is right in my heart).
Awful, I know, but I think that most of us have those feelings sometimes. With dd, I've noticed that everything comes and goes in phases, she will be extremely difficult to the point where I think I'm going to go insane, and then she gets better, certainly not easy, but not like she was, sleeping as well. We are also in the middle of a difficult sleep phase as well, so I hear ya on that one, even when it is "good" she still wakes up several times a night, she is finally taking decent naps for the first time in her life! She has never been a good sleeper, especially for naps, they were always about 20-30 minutes, with me holding her the entire time, here recently they have been an hour, and I can aactually lay her down and leave the room! 
It is wonderful, I use the time to just completely veg.
as for sleeping . . . luckily ds doesn't want to sleep *on* me, but he does want me in there with him. And you're not wrong to want a few hours to yourself at night! That's the most important thing for me--I can get thru almost anything during the day if I know I've got even an hour break at night. I'm not sure what to suggest. I just lie there with ds until he's good and asleep--limp limbs--and then sneak out. it works sometimes and not others. Just hang in there and hopefully the phase will pass soon. Maybe she's just working on a milestone rigth now and needs reassurance you're there? I know that my ds has started having separation anxiety recently--won't let anyone else hold him. Maybe your dd is going thru something similar.
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