This has turned into a really great thread. Sorry I haven't been back soon er but the past few days have been craaaaaazy.
I've noticed with my ds that as soon as something is identified as a "rule" or he realizes has become an issue, he all of a sudden HAS to do. For instance, when I pick him up from preschool: the teachers have requested that parents only open the front door and the gate. The don't want the kids to be taught how to use the locks, or to feel comfortable in opening that particular door and gate. This is for obvious safety reasons. Well, I have explained this to ds about a hundred times, but every single day, he tries to open the door himself, giving me that look each time, and then fighting me about trying to unlock the gate. He KNOWS it's something he's not supposed to do, so he's intent on doing it.
When I ask him why he's done something he knows he's not supposed to do, he says "Because I'm not supposed to do that."
: Now granted, his verbal skills are on the low side, but it seems like that really is why he did it.
So I'm not really sure what to do with this. An obvious one is to make as few things an issue as possible, but it seems like I'm forced into making so many small rules throughout the day. No running with a fork in your hand (he actually almost impaled the baby in the head when he came jumping over onto me while I was holding the baby and he was holding a fork), no running while chewing food (he doesn't have to sit for entire meals, but while he is chewing, he needs to be sitting - I'm afraid he'll choke), no eating pure sugar out of the container, etc.
But he just tests these 'rules' all day long. I feel silly continuing to explain the reasons since he knows the reasons, and often will tell them to me himself.
I do need to get stricter about behaving in the store. Before the baby was born, I could keep up with him and allow him more freedom, but now I am seriously worried he is going to get lost or walk right out the door the minute I look away to deal with the baby. He's going to have to walk next to me, ride in the cart, or not come with me. I was worried he was too young to enforce a delayed consequence (he didn't listen to me at the store yesterday so he can't come with me tonight).
Aaah, this is all so hard.
I've noticed with my ds that as soon as something is identified as a "rule" or he realizes has become an issue, he all of a sudden HAS to do. For instance, when I pick him up from preschool: the teachers have requested that parents only open the front door and the gate. The don't want the kids to be taught how to use the locks, or to feel comfortable in opening that particular door and gate. This is for obvious safety reasons. Well, I have explained this to ds about a hundred times, but every single day, he tries to open the door himself, giving me that look each time, and then fighting me about trying to unlock the gate. He KNOWS it's something he's not supposed to do, so he's intent on doing it.
When I ask him why he's done something he knows he's not supposed to do, he says "Because I'm not supposed to do that."
: Now granted, his verbal skills are on the low side, but it seems like that really is why he did it.So I'm not really sure what to do with this. An obvious one is to make as few things an issue as possible, but it seems like I'm forced into making so many small rules throughout the day. No running with a fork in your hand (he actually almost impaled the baby in the head when he came jumping over onto me while I was holding the baby and he was holding a fork), no running while chewing food (he doesn't have to sit for entire meals, but while he is chewing, he needs to be sitting - I'm afraid he'll choke), no eating pure sugar out of the container, etc.
But he just tests these 'rules' all day long. I feel silly continuing to explain the reasons since he knows the reasons, and often will tell them to me himself.
I do need to get stricter about behaving in the store. Before the baby was born, I could keep up with him and allow him more freedom, but now I am seriously worried he is going to get lost or walk right out the door the minute I look away to deal with the baby. He's going to have to walk next to me, ride in the cart, or not come with me. I was worried he was too young to enforce a delayed consequence (he didn't listen to me at the store yesterday so he can't come with me tonight).
Aaah, this is all so hard.
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