Rephrasing "Defiant"

[TiredX2]

I never say it *to* him, but the term I think of for DS is defiant.

He is not just independent (as in doing what he wants) but rather, he likes to do what people tell him not to do (and conversely, he will *not* do what someone suggests even if it is something he actively wants to do). It doesn't really bother me, but I, for some unknown reason, feel the need to name this part of his personality.

What would *you* call it?

[KellyB]

Oh, lordylordylordy, you had me scared there for a minute!
I thought someone was mad at me for using the term, and was challenging me....
Guess I'm a little paranoid!:LOL
Ok..my suggestion
"Intentionally oppositional"?
Edited to add...
So if you wanted to use it in context as a noun, you'd say "intentional oppositionality"....

[TiredX2]

I was looking more in this situation:

Other person(about DD): "Boy she sure is stubborn."
Me: "Yes, she is quite independent" OR "She really knows her mind. I'm glad she can articulate her opinions!"

Other person (about DS): "Boy, he sure is defiant."
Me (thinking): Yeah, he sure is.

[mogit]

How about, "He is learning to assert himself"? I read recently that young children have a hard time being *assertive without appearing *aggressive (or defiant). This knowledge helps keep me calm when DS is yelling NO! at the top of his lungs.

Of course, the best answer to "Boy, he sure is defiant," is "Yes, he's two/three."

[annab]

I like to think of 'defiant' as exploring limits. "I am going to do something that is the complete opposite of what you want me to do--whatcha gonna do about it, huh?"

I think they are testing how serious we are about the specific rule. And if this rule is negotiable, how about the next one? And why don't you want me to do this? What will happen?

He certainly is defiant.
Yes, he seeing how far he can go.