[B]Anyone Read Sears's The Discipline Book?[/B]

[augustmom]

if so, what did you think about it. what valuable lessons did you learn from it?

I just started reading it and it's making sense to me so far.

[sadie_sabot]

I would highly recommend this book to someone who is new to, or really struggling with, the concept of gd. I think it would be really good for someone who thinks that it would hurt their kid in the long run to not be punitive with them.

However, I'm not crazy about the book. first of all, it includes instructions on how to spank if you "have to." Nobody has to and it just icks me out.

Secondly, I don't like how Sears perpetuates and enforces really strict, inflexible gender roles, and also assumes that all families are nuclear and heterosexual.

but like i said, it's a good starting point...

[splendid]

Truthfully, I found that he book cemented a lot of things I felt to be right. It also reminded me that my son is person, and he has his own schedule and just because I gave birth to him doesn't me I am the ruler of his domain. I see now that just because I am doing something,finished something, planning to do something, doesn't mean dc has to do the same things.

[wemoon]

I think the chapter on spanking is pretty good, he has pages and pages of DON'T spank and this is why and then a couple of pages saying that he knows that no matter what people will still think it is ok to spank so he wants to make yourself look objectively at the spanking. The things he says is Examine your overall parenting style, Examine your relationship with your child, Determine where spanking fits in, Don't spank in anger, do not violate your child (I don't think this is possible with spanking, but it is a good message none-the-less), Explain the spank, Ask yourself "Is spanking working", Examine the time you spend with your child. I think that part of the chapter in spanking might even be the best really.... cause a spanker usually has issues with their parenting, their relationship with the child, their emotions, their self control, etc. So by getting into the more mainstream crowd, Dr Sears is opening up a chance to try something different by getting into these spankers heads.

He never says that people should spank, in fact he starts out that section saying that he firmly believes that spanking is not good. I really look at that section as a way for him to show spankers that really the discipline that they are doing just isn't working. I honestly do not think that anyone could spank and have a good relationship with their child, not do it in anger, not violate their children etc.

I see that chapter as Dr Sears working a little magic on the people stuck in spanking...those people will read that chapter because they do believe in spanking and then might realize that maybe it isn't the best because they do spank in anger or whatever.

Did that make sense? I feel like I totally rambled.

[augustmom]

thanks for all your feedback. it's sounds like overall, everyone got some positive info from the book. I'll read it and take from it what works for my family and more importantly, for my child.