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Weekly Thread 12/13 - whenever

post #1 of 36
Thread Starter 
Alrighty then... That one fizzled. New question.

Tell us the story of your family, how it came to be. I'll start again.

For most of 1998, I had a bad year. I had sorta not finished my first year at college and dropped out and had some very bad boy experiences (to top off my several years previous bad boy experiences). In the fall, I started part time at the local Community College while working full time as an admin. temp. I decided I was just going to date and forget about finding love since I'd had such rotten luck at it anyway. The second class my first week I skipped for some reason, but went the second week. That's where I met Jon. And his very recent ex-girlfriend (they had signed up for the class together, then broken up). This was September 24 and the class was called "The Search for Utopia". By October 10, we had our first "date" which was hanging out with some different friends of ours, playing Trivial Pursuit. Then we had our first kiss. And we just knew.

For Halloween, I went to Athens, Ohio with a girlfriend for the weekend. Jon and I missed each other so much. On November 1st, while hanging out with friends, I got real moody and we had our first fight. It was completely stupid, but after talking it out in his car in the parking lot of a coffee shop, I said to him, "So when do you want to get married?" Hoping that we could fanatsize for a minute by setting some future date. He said, "I don't care, we could get married on Saturday." I said, "You know, we could get married on Saturday." So we did. My friend Joel was an ordained minister through the Universal Life Church (online) and had performed several ceremonies before. So we were married at age 19 in Joel's apartment wihout having told most of our parents who we were both still living with. Three weeks later I basically ran away from home without anything but my clothes and moved in with Jon & his parents, where we lived for a few months, then again for a few months later in 1999.

We didn't turn in our marriage license, so we played legally like we weren't married for a couple of years, but we got married again with a big white-dress wedding in my parents' backyard in 2000, after which my parents finally got over being pissed off about the whole ordeal and started recognizing Jon as my husband.

We eventually started to figure out how to be adults (we weren't too bad to begin with, but there was still a learning curve) and I supported us while Jon went to school. We moved in 2000 70 miles to Columbus for Jon to finish his Bachelor's degree (I dropped in and out of school periodically).

On December 9, 2001, I discovered I was pregnant with Aleksander after having five baby dreams that convinced me to take a test (I had thought that I hadn't been ovulating, which was my rationalization on our anniversary that year ). His due date was August 1st, 2002, which meant that Jon would have finished his BA and we would be awaiting our move to wherever he got into grad school.
Aleks was born August 16, 2002 at my mother's home.

We moved to Montana a week later, Jon starting out with the truck and my mother & Aleks & I following three days later. Aleks was born with a cleft lip & palate and had 4 surgeries by 13 months. His first was at 12 weeks, for which my mother flew out to Montana for. He had his second at 6 months, his third at 10 months, and then a simple ear tube surgery at 13 months. We had some scary moments during his recovery from the first two surgeries, but he's been perfectly healthy otherwise.

Jon graduated with his MA in History in May and we moved back to Ohio, where he is now working on his PhD. I am ever the dutiful wife, staying at home in barefeet, wearing my apron and baking cookies with my two-year-old (and that's a gross exaggeration, if not a complete fiction :LOL). Seriously, I struggle through my days to not want to lock my tornado of a son up and throw away the key, though of course I love and adore him, even though he is a tornado. And I am pregnant now, which we planned very carefully and decided to try in August and September for an early summer baby (hit the mark the second try, which was more perfect, actually) so that Jon would be out of school for the early months. And that's that...

I've written a book again. If it bores you, and you don't want to participate, let me know!!!
post #2 of 36
Originally Posted by annakiss
I've written a book again. If it bores you, and you don't want to participate, let me know!!!
I can't believe you got married so fast and so young! My life sounds so conservative and boring!

Yes, I want to participate but will type the book tomorrow.
post #3 of 36
Originally Posted by schatz
I can't believe you got married so fast and so young! My life sounds so conservative and boring!

Yes, I want to participate but will type the book tomorrow.
I got married at 19 as well to a guy I have saw face to face for less then 2 weeks. it's been 6 years since then and we're expecting our first baby.
post #4 of 36
I think when you meet your mate...you know it. I could be wrong but that's how I feel. It doesn't matter if you marry in 2 weeks or in twice as many years. I met my husband when we were 15 and for some reason I *knew* he was the one. We didn't get married a month later though :LOL we were still adolecents!!! We also didn't start dating until 2 years later. I never let him out of my mind the whole time. Even while we were both dating someone else.
I'll get to my book another day. I do want to participate.

Schools out for the semester and my stress levels have already begun to diminish. The baby has been kicking around a lot more today. He must be facing my belly. I love that feeling. Tomorrow I go to the Dr again and I get to find out the results of the ultrasound I should have done without. I am going shopping. It is time for me to leave the house and do something I want to do instead of something I have to do. I will write my book tomorrow. I can't wait to read others. I love to read love stories
post #5 of 36
I just wanted to tell you all that I'm still here and paying attention. I don't have time to write my story right now. Between dd's birthday, Christmas, having yet another cold and, well, growing a baby, I'm getting short on time. Hopefully, I'll have some time in a day or two. I still read about all of you though! I hope you are all doing well.
post #6 of 36
I'm around. Things are not too well with the DH. The baby is kicking lots, although I don't spend a lot of time dwelling on it. Often in the evening when I have a free moment I lie down and press my tummy and the baby kicks back. I think that is cool. I'm all grouchy cuz I don't know what it is..
post #7 of 36
Short version~ DH & I met in 1999 through mutual accquaintances in college (actually I was a HS senior attending college). We dated for a year & had a shot-gun wedding in July 2000. He was 23 & I was 19. DS1 was born in Oct. DS2 was born in Oct 2003.

Things are actually pretty bad here recently (I posted 3 threads in Parents as Partnerswith the details: When is enough enough?, WWYD id DH/DP said this to you? and DH told DS he was moving out. . .). I am trying to decide whether I should leave or not. I have no job so I feel very trapped. Any advice is welcome. We also just found out that Colby has to have eye surgery immediately following Christmas. Poor little man has been through so much already

post #8 of 36
Dh and I met in the fall of 1996 during our first week of college. I was only 17 years old, and very happy to finally be out of my house. Not that home was a bad experience, only very controlled. DH had been in boarding school for 6 years, so was used to being away from home. We were friends for about two weeks, and then we had our first kiss. About a month later, we were inseparable. I only went back to my dorm room to shower and change clothes, and spent most of my time with friends and him. Second semester he got his own dorm room, and for all intensive purposes we moved in together. Still had to go to my dorm to shower, but that was all. The situation remained the same through our second year in college, but luckily we had our own bathroom at that point so there was no travelling to two dorms. After our sophomore year, we both transferred to different universities and ended up splitting up for about 4 months. It was a very traumatic time for me, as I was so in love with him and always believed that we would end up together forever. After we got back together, we had to do a lot of travelling to be together, but we managed to make it work. We broke up once more about a year later for 2 months or so, but after some time apart I knew he was the one and I couldn't be away from him again. He proposed to me in June of 2003, and we planned the most beautiful, fairytale wedding a girl could ever dream of. I still can't believe I was the princess in the fairytale. We were married in a Jewish ceremony in September of this year, and it was truly the most beautiful, happiest day of my life. I was due to start AF the day before my wedding, but never came. I figured it was due to stress leading up to the big day, as I had a lot to deal with prior to the wedding. I had noticed around the day of the wedding and on the honeymoon that my boobs hurt super bad, and I was a little more tired than normal, but again figured the sleepiness was exhaustion from the wedding. 9 days after the wedding I finally took the HPT, and we were both in complete shock when the two lines showed up immediately. I certainly had not been preparing to be pregnant, in fact had quite enjoyed myself the week of the wedding and during the honeymoon. Ran out to get the best prenatals I could find, and have been in tip top shape since! My DH is the best thing that has ever come along in my life, and I am so glad that we made it through all the rockiness of our younger years together and have made it as far as we have. We have celebrated 8 years together, and we both look forward to many more.
post #9 of 36
I'll write my book tomorrow, as it's a bit more complicated and long, lol.

Right now I'm feeling emotionally drained. DH lost his job 2 weeks ago and we're scraping the bottom of the barrel. We don't have a Christmas tree and can't afford gifts. I have some wonderful friends on another board who have done amazing things for me recently, some buying gifts, some sending money. I was unsure about whether or not I'd be able to fly my 12yo dd down from Oregon (where she stayed with her dad when I moved because she didn't want to leave that family and her friends behind) but those friends helped me tremendously and got me almost enough for her plane ticket. Because of a snaffu that is probably my own stupid fault the ticket is going to cost more than I expected but my dh has insisted that I buy it anyhow. Thank goodness because as much as I can't afford it right now, I really can't afford not to have her here with me over Christmas. These past 2 weeks have been really tough, but I've managed to get through pretty well emotionally, but today I'm just on edge, crying as I write this even. It's so hard being here, in this situation. I just keep reminding myself that it HAS been worse and it WILL get better and that I am truly blessed to have my family and my friends and there are so, so many people who don't have it nearly as good as I do.

Now that I'm finished with that depressing story, lol. I am just over 19 weeks now. The baby is moving pretty frequently. I feel him at least a few times a day, nice hard kicks. I had a MW appt today and she said "oh, you are doing great! Look at your belly!" while she was feeling my uterus. The baby's heartbeat sounds fantastic. We've decided to name him Max Grayson. I love this part of pregnancy. Now if I could just get him to move a bit more frequently so that the kids and dh would get to feel it.
post #10 of 36
I ate too make cupcakes! Which is bad since I had to do a GTT the other day!
post #11 of 36
Ohhhh..this is fun. I just wanted to stop in and post links to pictures of my DS's birthday party. I don't know if they'll work here or not, but I'll give it a try.






I will be participating..hopefully today. I'm a bit busy right this second.

Wendy - I'm very sorry to hear about how things are going for you right now. I really would love to help you too, but we live paycheck to paycheck the way it is, so the best I can do is offer you my prayers. I really hope you get your daughter home for the holidays. I guess its important to remember that Christmas is more importantly about family than it is about presents, and maybe this year is just a crash course in that for your kids - hopefully it will make them appreciate everything you CAN do for them, know what I mean?
post #12 of 36
Edited: Nevermind! Thanks for your help Anna! Hope you all enjoy the birthday pictures!

post #13 of 36
Wende, sorry about your stress. Remember that this too shall pass. That has been my mantra many times. Including now!

I was going to write about meeting my DH, I shall do that later. Right now, I am very frustrated with DH. I am not feeling supported in the decision to homebirth. I can not say "our" decision, as it was mine. Now he is giving me a hard time. UGH! Last night, all he could do is complain about the $$. That if we had the baby at the hospital (mind you,where he works) that it would be 20 bucks out of pocket, not $2400. He just does not get it. I fear having a hospital birth this time. I know I would end up with a C-Sec. He does not understand the difference, just the $$. Then I reminded him with this birth that he will need to be an active participant & he said, "yeah I will count 1-2-3 ect when you are pushing." OMG that threw me over the edge! With my first 2 children, I had total hospital births. DD was not so bad, as I felt respected. But all he did with those 30+ hours of induction was sleep. Then during pushing he did the counting thing. With DS, a completly different story. I had a horrible induction, where I felt out of control & completly violated and disrespected. Again there was DH, sleeping & pacing, that is about it during the whole horrible thing!Again over 30 hours of induction. Time to push, he counted. But I do not remember even that, as I blew that baby out & wanted it to be OVER! I have so much healing to do from that birth & I am working on that. But DH's lack of compasion & understanding is fueling me. I am pretty angry with him right now. I tried to explain to him what I want, what I need. He just does not get it. All he says is, I'll try. UGH! How about I will do it. I will be there. I will do what you need. One would think with all the CE units I have taken, the doula training, all the books & videos in the house he would get it! I did tell him I am getting him a book & he needs to read it. Last night in bed when I told him how angry I was, he said he would read it. I think I am going to have him read The Birth Partner any other ideas on books?
Thanks for letting me vent here. As I said, I have been trying to heal from my past births, to open myself up to this one, & I feel DH's comments have set me back.

I do have to say, other than this, I have a pretty amazing DH. Just does not handle the birth stuff very well. Thought about hiring a Doula, but the $$ thing does come into play. I have a friend that is a midwife assistant, & she will be there. But I am due when our LLL area conference is taking place. We are both on the comittee & we both can not be gone. What to do??? All my LLL friend will be there, which I plan to be too, but by then who knows.
Sorry for the vent.
post #14 of 36
Thread Starter 
Wendy, I'm sorry things are rough right now. Sending you some good strong vibes to get through it! I hope seeing your daughter helps you out.

Cristina - ugh. That sucks about your DH. I'd just keep working on him, explaining that as your partner it is his JOB to be supportive, especially when you are giving birth to your (and his) child! I was going to recommend The Birth Partner... Maybe try Birthing From Within as well - there's a section on dads and it's a great labor prep imo. Did you have 2 previous c/s or have you had any? I don't remember from the other threads. : Your labor might go really slowly if you're planning a VBAC. Something to be prepared for - try avoiding vaginal checks if your water breaks, you don't know how long it will be. Uteruses with scar tissue tend to take a bit longer to do the work. They take it easy on themselves.

Felt the baby move for the first time the other day, but it still doesn't feel like that part of pg. yet since it was so faint. I'm sure that's what it was though. Think I felt it again this morning, but again, it's really faint. She'll get a little bigger in the next couple of weeks and start rolling like a mad-woman. I'm 16 weeks now. Growing my little pooch. Boobs feel larger and full, though since they still sag from the last babe, it's hard for me to say they look bigger. :LOL I told Jon last night that they'll be down to my belly button by the time I'm done breastfeeding this next one. He's super wonderful though and just said, "nah, they're beautiful." *gush* I know he really believes it too. Can't get his hands off me. Not that you all needed to know all that! :LOL
post #15 of 36
I met my DH online in an AOL chat room. We talked on the phone for a month before we met IRL. I was 3 months pregnant with Shelby when we met. By the time i was 6 months along she was HIS child. We met online on February 9th 2002 and married on September 6 2002. No big ceremony...we just went to the court house and said our "I do's". Everyone said we were rushing into things and it wouldn't last. One of the main people saying that has since met, married and divorced a man. She is eating her words.
post #16 of 36

Me and DH

I met Justin almost directly off of coming off my first "long term" relationship - a whopping 10 months! I just graduated High School, and he just transferred to the high school. I went to a party with some friends, and someone had invited him to come along. I remember looking at him and thinking "wow, he's cute!" but also knowing I had just come off a relationship, and wasn't all that interested in getting into an other one just yet. Also, that he *appeared* to be one of those people who was "better than me." so I didn't stand a chance anyway. Well apparently he was thinking the same about me.

Anyway, my friends kept going on and on about him, and how they really liked him, etc. I just kept saying "eh, you all can have him, I'm getting ready to go to college anyhow" but the more he hung out with my friends, the more we discovered we had in common. After a few weeks, he started making comments about how I was the most beautiful girl in the world, but he would say them in a way that would insinuate he was being silly or even a bit sarcastic..so I just blew him off. One night I was driving him home (because even though he was only a year younger than I, he had never gotten his drivers license until he was almost 18) and about a block from his house, he turned to me and said "you know, you really are the most beautiful girl I think I've ever met." Talk about flooring me!!! I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. He got out of the car, and that was that. He thought that by my silence, he was just completely rejected. I'm just getting over the fact that someone said something so unbelieveably nice (and sincere) to me. My last boyfriend had no respect, and hurt me a great deal!!

So much to his surprise I showed up to Marching Band practice the next day. (yes, I'm a band geek, but I loved it!! ) And he was pretty surprised to see me there, but also couldn't stop smiling. At the end I asked him and a bunch of friends if they wanted to go see a movie the next day. Of course we all go, and Justin and I sit next to each other...I spent the entire movie just trying to get him to hold my hand or SOMETHING. But nope, he was about as stiff as a board!! But when I dropped everyone off at home (the car pool driver apparently! lol) I took him last, and we stopped to talk in front of his house. He leaned in to hug me and I planted a big fat kiss on his mouth. It was quite funny (but also very apparent he'd never kissed a girl either). Come to find out..I was his first (and last) girlfriend. He took me to his backyard - which was HUGE and beautiful, gardens and pathways to walk in. Kind of weird actually..but really cool at the time. We slow danced in the night to no music. And he told me he loved me right there that night. I told him it was WAY to soon to be saying something like that - but it only took me a few weeks to catch on.

We were set to be married June 10, 2000, after about 2 years of dating. We ended up waiting a year. College and things we were trying to figure out - and it was a good thing, we got married the next year, but we had matured quite a bit in that one year. So exactly 2 years and 11 months from the day we danced under the stars, we got married (July 21, 2001). I got pregnant with Elijah March of '03, after trying for 12 months. (you all got to see him in the above posts hopefully! ) AND after nursing and having supply issues due to working/pumping/nursing and it just not working out..I got AF, never bothered to get on BC - because I have this THING about pumping my body full of hormones - it just doesn't seem right to me. I got PG - and here I am expecting #2 May 5, 2005...17 months after Elijah was born. So I guess this one isn't a surprise, but wasn't planned either!

I did attend college for 3 years, getting a Political Science Degree. Dropped out to get a full time job so Justin and I could get married and have insurance and such. I refuse to go back because my life goal is to stay home, raise my kids (we hope to have 4 when all said and done...but not all 17 months apart! lol) Homeschool is in the plan. ...but first we have to get the finances on "the plan"....then all of that can take place. For now I'm just waiting!

And thats me!

Including a wedding picture of me and DH:
post #17 of 36
i also met my husband online - but not through aol. i was dating a lot of guys and thought it sounded like fun to meet him. after having broken off 3 engagements, i was NOT looking for anything serious and just wanted to have a good time. we met in january and my roommate had eaten onions (i didnt know this at the time) and she had REALLY BAD gas from it. i didnt smell it until i was close to him and i remember thinking no wonder he is meeting people on line. :LOL after he left she told me it was her. about 6 months later, he told me that he thought it was me. he told him roommate that i was pretty cool but i was stinky. we have since cleared that up.

we were married in july of 2000 and had our first in aug 2001. baby #2 came in feb 2003 we wanted to have them close together and i had had a mc 3 months before conceiving. i am now due with #3 and have my third checkup on thurs.

wendy - we are struggling too and we have decided that we are just going to wrap the toys that i have taken from the kids b/c they wouldnt pick them up and a few that i bought at the beginning of the year and that would be their presents. they arent going to care and there will be something to open. i am glad that your daughter will be able to be with you for christmas.

post #18 of 36
Thread Starter 
I just got the Due Date List updated - so check out your stats please to make sure all is well!!! Thanks! Big ups to Ladywulf for keeping it going all this time!!!
post #19 of 36
I've been gone so long I feel kinda weird just jumping back in like this, but I really want to get back to posting here...so I'm going to anyway

I also met my DH online in June of 97...I had broken up with my boyfriend from HS just a few months earlier and so I was enjoying my freedom (he had been a VERY controling person). Anyway, I had been IMing with some friends when DH imed me saying that he liked my profile and had never met a girl that played hockey. He had a sense of humor very similar to mine and we talked for 6 hours, finally deciding to meet for lunch the next day. But when I actually met him I thought "well he's nice, but he's not my type". But he was soooo persistant, he wanted me to go to a wedding with him in August, I wasn't even planning on seeing him again, but he showed up to my hockey game the next day with flowers and kept calling and calling. I was so reluctant to get involved with anyone again so soon and I was really quite mean to him when he would call, I'm not sure why he kept doing it. But I went to the wedding with him and then he asked me to go camping with him Labor Day weekend. So I went, and we spent the whole time talking about everything and found we had a lot of similar beliefs and ideals. So eventually we moved in together, got engaged in Dec of 99, married Labor Day weekend of 2000 and here we are on baby #2 and while we have our ups and downs on the whole we are quite content.
post #20 of 36
Subscribing.. I'll write the book later
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