Weekly Thread 12/13 - whenever - Page 2

[slightly crunchy]

I will write my story later.

Like some of you, I am having problems with DH this week. I feel so sad, like he doesn't see me as a woman anymore, just as a Mommy and the one who takes care of the house. We have been talking a lot more and trying to reconnect. Which of course is hard being pregnant and exhausted and a two year old and him working so much and blah blah... I know I have it pretty great. I just think DH doesn't get that marriage is a relationship that needs care and attention. We have a talk and it seems so good and then it is like he forgets what we talked about.

Cristina, I can relate somewhat as I am also upset with my DH. He was also not as supportive as I would have liked during my labor last time. He listens to me when I talk about VBAC and how important it is to me, and things I am doing and reading. But he has yet to read one thing himself. I don't expect him to read a lot of books, but he does need to read the partner stuff from Hypnobabies that I'm doing now. I was counting on having a doula, but am having a lot of trouble finding one. I am a little stressed because I feel like no matter what DH reads, he has a certain mindset of "trust the OB" and "do what the hospital tells us" and that may be impossible for him to overcome, if he even realized it and wanted to. I have The Birth Partner on order as well.

Anna, I loved your meet and marry story! That is about the shortest dating period I have heard of! I have had two different friends who each got married after only 6 months, and in our world that was a whirlwind courtship!

Wendy, Sorry things are so rough. I am saying a prayer for you and DH and family.

I thought I would be feeling baby a lot more by now, since it starting at 15 weeks. I am 19 weeks now. Feeling movements a few times a day, but they are still pretty small. Looking forward to those big kicks soon. I got a cheapo fetoscope and tried to hear the heartbeat today, but no luck. I guess 20 weeks is the earliest? And that is probably for the midwife, who actually knows what they are doing, LOL! I will try again in a couple of weeks.

[Debstmomy]

Slightly Crunchy - I wonder if it is just that time of year where DH's go a little bit wacko. Know what I mean?? I hope you and yours will come around real soon.
For us, I vented yesterday to my co LLL leaders, and that really helped. I think what I was really worried about is being alone during labor, like I was when I had DD & DS. My co leader & friend will be my Doula with this birth. I was stressed because I am due so close to our annual conference & felt she would need to be there. (We have a major conf job that we share. One of us needs to really be there.) Anyway, she said no way. She would definitly leave conf to help me, along with my other co leader. That made me feel much better. I have decided to lay off DH for a while, so he can absorb what we talked about. I will get my birth partner book out & place it on his night stand, along with the Midwifes 3 ring binder she gave us. It is up to him & I need to surrender.
Wendy - How are things going? give us an update.
Anna - no I am not a VBAC but a VBAM, vaginal birth after myomectomy. What a myo is, I had a tumor removed from uterus 2 years ago. I have a uterine scar. While that is not protocol for C-Sec on paper, it really is. When I had my OB visit, he said we would talk about my delivery options, but he prefers a C-Sec. Interesting thing is, my scar does not enter the uterine cavity. My tumor was only in the first 2 layers of the uterus. Statisticly, I have a lower risk of rupture than a VBAC, and that is really low too. My midwife is not worried at all.
I will do my DH meet story soon. My cold has relapsed, and I need to go lie down. Take Care Ladies, have a wonderful wenesday!

[MomAnita4Jesus]

I just wanted to post and let you all know I had my ultrasound today. I'm having a baby GIRL! Azalyah Selah! Woohoo! She's very wiggly and healthy!

[seren]

Hi all! I'm joining you now. I've been in the April due date club all this time, then the u/s said I was actually due May 15, not April 18. Of course I really shouldn't have been given a due date at all. As the u/s tech so nicely complained about. Long story short. In July I has a micarriage at almost 9 weeks. Didn't have a period and were trying not to get pregnant. DIdn't work. No clue as to when I ovulated, so they just went by my last bleeding, which was from the miscarriage. It was actually quite a shock to learn I was an entire 4 weeks BEHIND what we thought. After the shock I spent a day crying. Everyone thinks I'm nuts for crying over it, but I was kinda depresssed. SO anyways, here I am.

How I met my dh. We met at church, his family had just moved into our city. THat was in March. We had our first date April 28, 2000, were engaged June 18, and got Married October 20. Savanna joined our family August 16, 2001. And Sam followed almost exactly 20 months later.


Anyways, I feel weird barging in in the middle the pregnancies.

[annakiss]

Welcome Serenity! No barging at all. I can understand why you'd be depressed. I'm sorry you didn't have anyone take you seriously about it though.

[peacenlove]

I wanted to post my "how we met story" but first, I went to the mw yesterday and she used the fetascope and couldn't her anything, then she tired somthing else, it was a horn something? it was made of wood, well she could hear the baby had hiccups! She also heard the heart beat and it was 154, the first time it was 160 when she used the dopler, I am not useing the dopler anymore, but I was glad she heard it! Both my ds and dh are sick and it has been hard trying to take care of them and myself, and trying to get all the holiday stuff organized. anyway,

Mark and I met on december 29 2001, we were at a New Years Eve retreat in the mountains. I had just started dating again after being a single mom to my ds for just over a year, he was three. When we met we had an instant connection, he has the same birthday as my sister, and it turns out my sister and his parents live two block apart, 3000 miles from us.

I could not deny that I was meant to be with Mark. We spent hours talking on december 30 and on new years eve I couldn't stop thinking of him. When we came back to the city we had our first date the following weekend, well after that we were together, we got married six months later, one legal ceremony and one "faery tale wedding" in the forest a month later. He is an amazing man, he is my knight, and a great dad.
We are very excited to make our family bigger, I am blessed.

[Debstmomy]

It was September 1, 1990 and my roommate insisted that I go with her and her boyfriend to a party at this really huge house. I did not want to go & be a 3rd wheel, so I said I would go if my sister could come. They said yes. My sister was due to be married 2 weeks later, and her fiance had duty that weekend so she said she would go. My Mom said she would watch my sisters baby. Off we went, decked to the nines! I wore a flourescent pink shirt, what was I thinking! Anyway, we get to this huge house, and it is a huge party. I remember my sister and I stashing our drinks away, so no one would find them & walking around. I walked into the TV room, and there was this blonde guy there. He goes, I remember you, you are Cristina. Hmmm he looks familar but I can not place it. (he has flourescent pink & blue shirt on!) By this time, my sister is on her way to being very intoxicated. He goes I am Matt, oh Matt I remember you. Sort of but not really. He even remembered my last name! I could not for the life of me remember his name, let alone his last name. Then I recalled he was the guy that disappeared from jr high school. Apparently he had a major knee injury and was gone from school for over a year. We ended up talking the entire night. My sister was pretty intoxicated & got really sick on the front porch. He offered to take us home, since we came with my roomate & she was nowhere to be found. He drives us to my parents house, where my sister still lives & my mom was up with my sisters 9 month old son. By this time, my sister is in someone else clothes, because hers are all soiled, and my mom starts freaking out. I take the baby, send Matt to the famliy room to watch tv. It is 2am mind you. Get my sister to nurse her son, (I know very bad now but what do you know when you are 20 & 17 I am 20 she is 17), put her to bed & then get my nephew down. The whole time Matt is in the family room, watching tv & stressing that my Dad will wake up & give him the 3rd degree. Anyway everyone is in bed & it is back to the party for us. Then to my apartment & we just talk & talk and talk, all night. He goes home & literaly just a couple hours later he calls to ask me out. I have a family gathering to go to & ask if he wants to go. He says let me call you back. He asks his roommate if that is an ok thing to do! Ha we were so young! Anyway he comes, gets hit in the face with ball! Oh on the way, he asks if he can hold my hand in front of my family. So sweet! Afterward we go to the park & swing and talk. I told him I was not going to waste my time dating & that if he wants to see me, it needs to be serious. He agress. 2 weeks later it is my sisters wedding. He is my escort & the next morning my Mom calls my apartment & my roommate tells her I did not come home! YIKES! Anyway, we were engages 3 months later & married the following November. That is it. I knew he was my soulmate from the time we met. He is my best friend & lover. He is wonderful, even when we fight. I am very lucky. That is our story.

[C99]

Trying again...

hi! I'm new. Well, not really to MDC, but I have not posted in a very long time. I used to hang out on the CDing boards. I'm pregnant with my second and due on my husband's 32nd birthday. I hope I can join you.

[schatz]

19 weeks today

I meant to post this earlier this week but time got away from me...

Two things before the "how we met" book -- first, I just have to vent about maternity clothes. I have slightly longer than average arms but my knuckles definitely don't drag on the ground. When I'm not pregnant, the sleeves on most of my shirts are fine with the exception of turtlenecks. BUT, it seems that almost all of my maternity tops have sleeves that are too short! It's driving me crazy. That combined with the fact that I have a reasonably long torso (not really long waisted but far from short waisted) so I never "show" early. So, right now I feel like I'm masquerading as a pregnant lady or just trying to hide my fat. I HATE getting dressed for work. I don't expect a solution here but thanks for listening.

Second, I can't be the only one who's not finding out the gender before the delivery am I? There seem to be a lot of boys around here and now MomAnita is having a girl. Well, dh and I both want the surprise at the end so we'll have the ultrasound tech keep a lid on things when we have the u/s on Jan 5.

Ok, now the for the book. Dh and I actually went to high school together (he was one grade ahead of me) but we didn't ever speak to each other or have the same friends. Although, one of my best friends did date him briefly (like 3 weeks). Fast forward to college and we were both pretty involved in racing sailboats in the summer. He had been doing it since he was a kid and I got into it through a college boyfriend. One of the boats dh crewed on was going to a regatta in western Iowa (we are in WI and sail small-ish boats on inland lakes - not keel boats like you see on the ocean or Great Lakes) and needed fill-in crew. So, myself and a guy who I sailed with on another boat agreed to come along. I actually arrived at the regatta a day late because I had won a trip to a concert in Wash DC from a radio station and had agreed to go along with the guy I was dating at the time. I knew that guy was just someone to pass the time with and not serious.

Anyhoo, the boat we were racing on takes 6 people to sail in regular conditions and 7 when it's windy - we were a light six. Well, in western Iowa it always blow stink (our slang for really windy - 20 mph or more) but we were a light crew so we would find any extra spectator who could come along for each race to help keep us upright. The boat was 38' long and would tip over if not balanced properly. Soooo.... dh and I were sitting next to each other on the rail (edge of the boat - torso out over the water, feet strapped in) and he says to me "why don't you give me a kiss for luck". I say "what?! It's blowin' stinko sh%$ and you want a kiss!" So, no kiss then but he got me thinking that maybe later I would want to kiss him. So, after dinner that night we went to a bar to shoot pool and the rest is history. I knew he was the one but it took me a while to convince him because he was pretty closed up as an after-effect of his parents divorce. But, he soon saw the light and knew we were in it for the long haul. We moved in together after dating 2 years and didn't get married until we'd been together 6 1/2 years but it was a done deal from the beginning.

We met at 22 and 23, got married at 29 and 30 and are now 36 (almost) and 37. We're just like an old married couple. He's my best friend and I wouldn't change a thing. I feel for all the mamas who aren't getting along with their dh's right now. to you.

I hope everyone has a grand weekend. I need to finish up my holiday preparations.

~Hope

[Aaudreysmom]

Schatz - you are not the only one, we are not finding out the sex either. With DD we found out but this seems so much more exciting.

I do want to share my story but I don't have time right now, I will try later today.

[seren]

Schatz, we aren't finding out either. Dh wanted to, I didn't. We already had our u/s (since we thought we were farther along) and the baby was too shy, so it was a moot point. I'm actually relieved we don't know.

[wende]

My family started back in the summer of 1991 when I was about to turn 15. I was dating and living with my boyfriend from high school and had gone to Planned Parenthood to be put on the pill. Turns out I was pregnant. My oldest was born in April of 1992. She was huge and beautiful, 9lbs, 13 oz, 22in long. Her dad and I split up, but have remained very good friends. I adore him and his wife and their other 2 children. Right now he is raising our dd because she didn't want to move to CA from OR when I had to move. My next dd was born in January of 1995. Her father and I had been together for over a year when I got pregnant. He walked out when he found out because he suddenly wanted to get married and I told him that I wasn't marrying him simply because I was pregnant and if he still wanted to get married a year from then we'd discuss it. He didn't want to wait. Last I heard he was working under the table to avoid paying child support and to pay for his drug habit. My dd has never seen him. In 1997 I met and quickly fell in love with a friend of my 12yo's dad. He was fun and sweet and against all odds I got pregnant with our ds. We were using both condoms and bc pills! We ended up getting married in March of 1998 and our ds was born in August of that same year. The day before we got married my soon-to-be dh hit me for the very first time. Assuming it would be the last, and not wanting to tell my parents who constantly bitched and complained about the cost of the wedding I went ahead and married him. There isn't a smile to be found on my face in the wedding photos. The abuse didn't stop and in Spring of 2001 I got out. He has only bothered to see our ds when it's conveinient to him, usually with an excuse, about every 3 months. It's unfortunate because my ds adores him and we get along somewhat well now that he's gone.

Which brings me to my dh now. I was working a crappy job that I absolutely hated in June of 2002. One day I saw this guy standing out in the parking lot talking to our co-workers, smoking. I don't smoke but there was something about him, I had to know him, so I walked over and involved myself in their conversation under the guise that I was there to talk to someone else. I NEVER had done anything like this, being generally pretty shy. Within seconds the conversation was just the two of us and quickly the rest of the group left us there alone because they were bored. Since the job involved a lot of work outside of the office, a group of us went out that night. I gave them all my phone number so that we could meet up again for work before I went home. I didn't go to work the next 3 days because I was so tired of the job and ready to quit, (it was one of those jobs that if you didn't show up or call nobody cared). Then Ryan called. He said he and some of the guys were all Downtown Portland that night working and wanted to know if I wanted to come along. An hour later I was downtown. We spent most of the night at clubs with the co-workers. By the end of the night we were attached at the hip. When the other 2 guys said they were leaving to meet up with a couple girls they'd met a few nights before Ryan said he was tired and didn't feel like going. I said I'd drive him home. They looked at us like "yeah right" winked at Ryan and left. It started raining and neither of us noticed. We ran and played in the rain and mud puddles all the way back to the car, which was pretty far away. I dropped him off at home and we sat and chatted for a while. After that there was no looking back. We were together every day pretending to work. When we were at work everyone assumed we were a couple, but we insisted that we weren't, just very good friends. I was in no way about to get into another relationship. One night it just "happened" and we were together. I fought against it for months saying that we weren't together, with him constantly telling me how much he loved me and that we were meant to be together, but then one night, in October, we were laying in my bed, as we often did, watching movies. We were watching "Life as a House" and there was some line in there about how much this guy loved the woman in the movie. Ryan turned and said "see, that's exactly how I feel about you". I rolled over and kissed him. He said "are you sure?" I said "I've never been more sure of anything in my life." 2 months later I found out I was pregnant. I waited 2 weeks to tell him, planning to wait til Christmas but not being able to hold it in, and about an hour and a half later I was bleeding and thinking I was miscarrying. We spent the night in the hospital. I spent most of the rest of the pregnancy on bedrest at home and in the hospital. Ryan was amazing through it all. Our ds was born at 31.5 weeks gestation perfect and healthy. After 3 weeks in the NICU to learn to keep his temp up and to suck/swallow/breath he came home. In December of 2003, when our ds was almost 6 months old, we got married. On August 1st we moved to CA because Ryan got transfered at his job. I started my first post partum AF that same day. My next one never came. For 2 weeks I thought it was just screwy because I am still nursing, but finally decided to take a pregnancy test anyhow and got a positive! We are excitedly awaiting our 5th child, a boy, on Mother's Day

[schatz]

wende - wow - you've done a lot of living in your years - I can only imagine. Hooray for you for having the gumption to get out of the bad relationships so that you could find Ryan. I sure hope his job situation works itself out soon. thank you for sharing. to you

[gingerlane]

Mark and I met through the theatre I worked for at the time... I was dating one of the actors and working in the box office/house management, and he was good friends with another actor in the troupe (Chrissy). We'd hang out at opening night parties while our others schmoozed the donors and did their actor thing. When the actor was working one night I went with Mark and Chrissy to a party and I just remember that as he sat in the floor in front of me watching the movie, I had this insane urge to put my fingers in his hair. I started dreaming about him and we started an email correspondence. He was home after three years working as crew on a private sailing yacht in the Caribbean and didn't know that many people yet... so we talked a lot. One night we went to dinner. Just as "friends." Later that night we kissed each other and I just knew he was the one. He pushed me away and said "I will never touch you again if you don't go home, right now, and break up with D." So I did. And the next day I told a friend that I'd met the man I was going to marry.

That was back in 1996. I was still in college and told him I wouldn't marry him until I finished school. He proposed about a week after I finished... in front of my whole family at Christmas Eve dinner. We married a year and a half later in 2000 and were blessed with dd in 2003. We were surprised, yet thrilled to discover that we'd be having another next May. He's my best friend, he's tremendously funny and the most decent human being I have ever met. The moment he first touched me my heart said yes... I'm lucky to have him!

There's our story! It's been great to read all of yours!

[slightly crunchy]

I met my DH in 1996. We had both moved to a new city and worked together. We quickly became part of a big group of friends that hung out together all the time. When we met he was dating someone not-so-serious long distance, and I had a boyfriend of 7 years that was long-distance at that time while he finished law school. We were talking marriage but in actuality he would not have been a good choice for marriage and I finally figured that out about 6 months later. DH had broken up with the other girl a few months before that. I had always kind of liked him, and one night after we had spent hours talking, he asked me to dinner. But I wasn't sure whether it was a real date or whether we were going as friends. In his mind, it was a date. A really nice restaurant, and he tried to kiss me at the end. But I was still hurting from my breakup a couple of weeks before and just couldn't think about dating anyone else yet.

We didn't see as much of each other for a while and I spent time with other friends. A few months later, I started hanging out with the old group again and realized how much I liked him. I just had a really good feeling about him. One night there was a party at his house. We ended up spending the whole night together, talking until morning. For the next few weeks we spent every day and night together. He told me after a few days that he knew I was the one and I felt the same. I was 25 and he was 26. We were in no hurry to get married, just knew we would sometime. A couple of years later, it was time for job changes for both of us, and we knew this was it. He proposed in spring of 1999 and we moved to a new city together, lived together and got married a year later.

Great idea for a thread! I love these stories.

Schatz, I am not finding out boy/girl either. We did with ds and want to be surprised this time.

[CluckyInAZ]

I met my DH in kindergarden, but we weren't friends then. Our little sisters also went to kindergarden together and then they were in the same girl scout troup. My mom and his mom were co-leaders I think, so we would always end up at the meetings with our little sisters. His little sister is a huge brat, so I hated her and him for it and pretty much ignored him for the rest of grade school. He didn't go to my middle school, so I didn't know him then.

Sophomore year of high school I dated one of his friends briefly and in doing so joined his group of friends. We ate lunch together and had classes together -- passing notes back and forth and whatnot. We didn't say it at the time but we both knew then that we would end up together eventually. We were a couple for one day in high school, but it just didn't do it for me and I had to tell him I didn't like him that way. Then hated each other for a couple of years over me not paying him enough gas money or something like that. Eventually we became friends again after we graduated from high school, so I would talk to him on the phone every now and again and go to parties at his house.

Then one day I came over for some consoling after someone broke up with me and we talked and I ended up spending the night in his recliner while he slept in his bed. The next day we talked some more while we layed in his bed together (it is a twin bed, so we were pretty close) and a realized that he had a very attractive back. He had been swimming regularly all summer and he has a beautiful celtic dragon tattoo. So I started having a little crush on him. It kept getting stronger when we would talk or hang out together and I eventually told him a couple of months later and we haven't been apart since. I pretty much moved in with him immediately.

He was living in a room in a friend's house at the time, so we had our own bathroom but no kitchen or anything like that so we were living with this whole family. At first we thought they would be upset if he had someone staying in his room with him, but instead they were really happy that we were together. It was very strange living with someone else's family for two years, nothing was really private. We would hear them yell and fight with each other in the evenings, and they would hear us *ahem* I am sure, since you could hear anything through our door.

We moved out into an apartment of our own in January. On February 13th we decided to get married -- the next day. So we called a bunch of people and got a marriage liscense and I got everything set up with the Arizona Renaissance Festival. The next day we went early to the festival with my little sister who was my Maid of Honor to enjoy the festival and get a good pick of the rental clothes. I just looked on their website a couple of days ago and discovered that the picture on the weddings page is of OUR WEDDING!

http://www.royalfaires.com/ARIZONA/Default.asp?page=69 that's us! heehee

It was thrown together at the last minute, but everything was perfect and I wouldn't have changed a thing. I had the most beautiful bouquet that my cousin put together out of flowers brought by three different people (including a potted orchid) just minutes before the ceremony (my mom forgot to bring the ones I had bought, but those weren't very good anyway -- try going to a florist the night of feb 13th and get good flowers, I had ended up with red tulips) Anyway, here are more pictures if you want to see. My cousin was our last minute photographer, I think she did a great job.

http://www.jordan.photosite.com/