Is It Just Me, Or Does Anyone Else ...? - Page 2

[ShadowMom]

I thought it was a little weird before I had my baby. I did a lot of reading on the subect (Kathryn Dettweiler, "Our Babies Ourselves", etc.) and realized that it was completely normal to nurse past a year, and in fact most of the world does that. But, I still felt that while there was nothing wrong with it, I would never do it.

Well, my DS turned one in Dec 3 and I just can't imagine not nursing now. He still needs that quiet time and it is such a wonderful bonding experience! There are also NUMEROUS benefits, both to your baby AND you, to keep nursing. Your risk for things such as rheumatoid arthritis, breast cancer, etc. drop more the longer you nurse, and your baby's jaw/teeth benefit from extended nursing, as well as helping with brain development and immune system.

By posting, you are casting a net, looking for answers - if your mind was completely made up, you wouldn't have posted. So, you must be trying to understand this topic. PLEASE, educate yourself on this and remember, when you nurse your baby and realize how natural and wonderful it is, you may well change your mind.

[RubyV]

As a teen, I thought bf was horrible because it ruins your breasts

When I got older, I thought that nursing a toddler was gross. Sick. Peverse.

It's amazing how much your mind can change when you have a child.

[jessemoon]

I would just like to complement the mamas on this thread for their thoughtful, compassionate and honest answers. For the most part, the answers have been kindhearted and gentle. The OP may not have realized it, but this is a potentially inflamatory topic here at MDC. I was so afraid that this would turn into a flame-fest. Well done MDC mamas!

[newlife]

I do understand what you all are daying in a way. And when I do start breastfeeding I may feel different, but I really doubt it. I don't think ya'll are seeing things the way I am, and I guess that is because you have been breastfeeding and I haven't. First I would like to correct something that I said in my op, I think that when you come upon the first year, the initial mother infant bond has been well established if you were breastfeeding. And as someone said bond with your child does continue as they grow into toddlerhood, childhood, the teenage years, and adulthood. But my point is that as your child grows into these different stages, the type of bonding as well as the type of bond is and should be different. You all believe in child-lead weaning, so let me ask you this if your child is 8 or 9 years old, and has not and/or is not ready to wean yet, what would you do? Or what if your child has weaned, but at the age of 13 or 14, they decide that they want to go back to breast milk, by being breastfeed? Do ya'll see my point now? I mean what is the cut off point? How old is too old in your opinion? I ask that because I am more that sure most, and hopefully all of you would be very disturbed if you saw a 10 year old being breastfeed. I don't agree with the opinions of some that the breast is not sexual, and is specifically for breastfeeding. Although that is their primary role, they are also very sexual. And in my opinion they are something that helps children come about, simply because they are something that attracts the opposite sex, making the sexy silhouette that a woman has. So, basically when a child becomes a toddler, teenager, ect. bonding should continue but not in the same way in my opinion. And as I said before I find nothing wrong with a toddler having breast milk because I think that is best, but still being breastfeed is a problem in my mind, and I think that it will manifest itself later in life.

[boston]

I don't see anything at all wrong with nursing past a year. In fact, I think it makes perfect sense to nurse until age 2. (Though to be perfectly honest, I'm kind of skeeved out by people still nursing at age 3, or older. I just don't think it's necessary.)

[RubyV]

Excuse my bluntness, but why are you here on the extended nursing board? If you find the idea of bf a toddler to be a sexual and gross act, why post here? What sexual damage will nursing past 365 days create, out of curiosity? On what are you basing this assesment? What research?

As for a nursing 13 yo, It might be easier to take you seriously if you kept your posts in the realm of reality.

Wonder if my local bridge has lost their troll?

This is directed to newlife, just to be clear

[boston]

oh nevermind, I just realized newlife was a troll.

[RubyV]

Originally Posted by boston

I don't see anything at all wrong with nursing past a year. In fact, I think it makes perfect sense to nurse until age 2. (Though to be perfectly honest, I'm kind of skeeved out by people still nursing at age 3, or older. I just don't think it's necessary.)

I have to say, once I have gotten to know some nursing momma and toddler pairs well, it stopped seeming weird to me. Mom was very well adjusted, normal, etc. So was toddler.

[onlyboys]

Originally Posted by newlife

So, basically when a child becomes a toddler, teenager, ect. bonding should continue but not in the same way in my opinion. And as I said before I find nothing wrong with a toddler having breast milk because I think that is best, but still being breastfeed is a problem in my mind, and I think that it will manifest itself later in life.

So, the mom should pump her breasts? What if she can't? Poor baby, I guess; he or she just misses out on breastmilk into her 2nd year...

And, when does a baby become a toddler become a child? Who makes these arbitrary guidelines?

I really have no problem with you asking questions (even ones that could potentially hurt other mamas) but at least LISTEN to what people are telling you. Read back through the links. Understand that you don't have enough life wisdom yet to make blanket statements like you are.

Also, I was breastfed into my 3rd year. So was my brother. I feel pretty good about myself, and we're both healthy and happy.

[Alison]

Don't know if newlife is a troll or not, but she's made some pretty blanket statements about all of us here. She even admits that we're probably not seeing things her way because we've been breastfeeding and we haven't. I think maybe we should all just leave this thread alone now, and let her come back after she's started breastfeeding. It's funny how your opinions on things change once your own child is nursing at your breast. I NEVER thought I'd be a co-sleeping mother of a breastfeeding toddler, but here I am! And, having done it myself, I KNOW that there's nothing wrong with it--I have one happy, well adjusted, self confident, outgoing and all around wonderful toddler! If he has mental problems later in life, it certainly won't be from being breastfed!

Alison

[stafl]

Originally Posted by newlife

I do understand what you all are daying in a way. And when I do start breastfeeding I may feel different, but I really doubt it. I don't think ya'll are seeing things the way I am, and I guess that is because you have been breastfeeding and I haven't. First I would like to correct something that I said in my op, I think that when you come upon the first year, the initial mother infant bond has been well established if you were breastfeeding. And as someone said bond with your child does continue as they grow into toddlerhood, childhood, the teenage years, and adulthood. But my point is that as your child grows into these different stages, the type of bonding as well as the type of bond is and should be different. You all believe in child-lead weaning, so let me ask you this if your child is 8 or 9 years old, and has not and/or is not ready to wean yet, what would you do? Or what if your child has weaned, but at the age of 13 or 14, they decide that they want to go back to breast milk, by being breastfeed? Do ya'll see my point now? I mean what is the cut off point? How old is too old in your opinion? I ask that because I am more that sure most, and hopefully all of you would be very disturbed if you saw a 10 year old being breastfeed. I don't agree with the opinions of some that the breast is not sexual, and is specifically for breastfeeding. Although that is their primary role, they are also very sexual. And in my opinion they are something that helps children come about, simply because they are something that attracts the opposite sex, making the sexy silhouette that a woman has. So, basically when a child becomes a toddler, teenager, ect. bonding should continue but not in the same way in my opinion. And as I said before I find nothing wrong with a toddler having breast milk because I think that is best, but still being breastfeed is a problem in my mind, and I think that it will manifest itself later in life.

: :
you either just don't get it, or you are baiting us. Either way, the previous replies have already sufficiently answered your questions. I refuse to get angry at your statements, and am going to give you the benefit of a doubt and not believe that you are trying to anger us. Come back once you have a clue.
:LOL

[pajara2]

I have to say that I, too, get uncomfortable when I see older children breastfeeding. I don't judge the parents, we all make our choices, and for us they are the right choices.

I've read what's been said, and I did breastfeed my first (until 6 mos) and will breastfeed my next (probably also until 6 mos).

My question, I guess, in a way, is this:

I understand that the biological function of the breast is to provide nourishment. BUT I also understand very clearly that the societal (for the most part, although sadly) function of the breast is predominantly sexual. So....how would my son feel when he becomes a teen, and has memories of being 5, 6, even 7 and latched on to my breast? I think if I had actual memories of breastfeeding from my mom at that age I would be TOTALLY grossed out.

As earlier questioned, this isn't based on a report, or study, or article; just based on my opinion and what I would imagine my feelings to be. I think it's admirable that we as mothers make so many decisions based on what is best for our children, if you feel breastfeeding until self weening is best, then I admire you for the sacrifice/gift/decision you have made, whether I understand it or not.

[Simply Nurtured]

Originally Posted by boston

oh nevermind, I just realized newlife was a troll.

I know I am old...

Tell me what that means. Is this person a poser?

Here I am thinking, I will help educate this young new mama, and it could be not even a mama, just some guy maybe, looking to start trouble?

I noticed a few other weird threads by newlife too.

Oh, well.

[RubyV]

Originally Posted by pajara2

I have to say that I, too, get uncomfortable when I see older children breastfeeding. I don't judge the parents, we all make our choices, and for us they are the right choices.

I've read what's been said, and I did breastfeed my first (until 6 mos) and will breastfeed my next (probably also until 6 mos).

My question, I guess, in a way, is this:

I understand that the biological function of the breast is to provide nourishment. BUT I also understand very clearly that the societal (for the most part, although sadly) function of the breast is predominantly sexual. So....how would my son feel when he becomes a teen, and has memories of being 5, 6, even 7 and latched on to my breast? I think if I had actual memories of breastfeeding from my mom at that age I would be TOTALLY grossed out.

As earlier questioned, this isn't based on a report, or study, or article; just based on my opinion and what I would imagine my feelings to be. I think it's admirable that we as mothers make so many decisions based on what is best for our children, if you feel breastfeeding until self weening is best, then I admire you for the sacrifice/gift/decision you have made, whether I understand it or not.

I do know men and women who remember being nursed. They remember it with gratitude, and remember the bond with mommy.

Out of curiousity, why would you stop at 6 mos?

[RubyV]

Originally Posted by Simply Nurtured

I know I am old...

Tell me what that means. Is this person a poser?

Here I am thinking, I will help educate this young new mama, and it could be not even a mama, just some guy maybe, looking to start trouble?

I noticed a few other weird threads by newlife too.

Oh, well.

Troll is internet slang for a poser. As in the troll under the bridge in fairy tales.

[ShadowMom]

Originally Posted by newlife

I do understand what you all are daying in a way. And when I do start breastfeeding I may feel different, but I really doubt it. I don't think ya'll are seeing things the way I am, and I guess that is because you have been breastfeeding and I haven't.

First you say that we feel differently because we're nursing and you have never done that. Then, you say that it is unlikely you'll change your mind. I'm confused. Are you just posting in the EN board to try to find people who are likeminded? If so you surely have the wrong board. Try Babycenter at www.babycenter.com, or sheknows at talk.sheknows.com. If you want to find other people who are ignorant of the fact that extended nursing is natural, beneficial, desirable and that there's nothing wrong with it, you'll find people a'plenty on those boards.

Originally Posted by newlife

Do ya'll see my point now? I mean what is the cut off point? How old is too old in your opinion? I ask that because I am more that sure most, and hopefully all of you would be very disturbed if you saw a 10 year old being breastfeed.

I'm afraid I don't see your point. What does a breastfeeding 10 year old have to do with a breastfeeding 3 year old?

Originally Posted by newlife

I don't agree with the opinions of some that the breast is not sexual, and is specifically for breastfeeding. Although that is their primary role, they are also very sexual. And in my opinion they are something that helps children come about, simply because they are something that attracts the opposite sex, making the sexy silhouette that a woman has.

This is not a matter of opinion, it is a matter of facts. There is not inherently sexual about breasts; our culture simply happens to see them as sexual objects. Visit the Pygmies in Africa, explain your concerns about extended nursing to them, and then look for bewildered looks on all faces since they haven't been subjected to the same strange cultural brainwashing.

Originally Posted by newlife

So, basically when a child becomes a toddler, teenager, ect. bonding should continue but not in the same way in my opinion. And as I said before I find nothing wrong with a toddler having breast milk because I think that is best...

I'm a little confused here because now you're saying that there's nothing wrong with a toddler having breastmilk. The whole point of your thread was that you thought it was weird, gross and inappropriate for a toddler to breastfeed. There aren't many people here who are nursing their 10-year-olds, so I'm not sure what your point is.

Originally Posted by newlife

... but still being breastfeed is a problem in my mind, and I think that it will manifest itself later in life.

You're making an extremely bold statement here. Do you have any evidence or data to support your claim? When have you decided that breastfeeding stops being nurturing and becomes a problem that will manifest itself?

If you have ANY facts or evidence to support your claim that breastfeeding beyond one year is inappropriate, please share them. I'll share the alternate opinions with you :

AAFP recommends nursing for 2 years min.
AAP recommends nursing beyond one year "as long as mutuallly desirable".
WHO recommends nursing for 2 years min.
Anthropologist Kathryn Dettwyler has studied this topic and believes the natural age of weaning is between ages 2 and 7.

[Meiri]

You all believe in child-lead weaning, so let me ask you this if your child is 8 or 9 years old, and has not and/or is not ready to wean yet, what would you do?

Judging by all the developmentally normal children I've met at these ages, not an issue. I let DS lead the way and he was done at 5. Biologically normal age for stopping is between 2 and 7.

Or what if your child has weaned, but at the age of 13 or 14, they decide that they want to go back to breast milk, by being breastfeed?

Setting up strawmen is not legitimate discussion. This would not happen with a developmentally normal teenager. I can't speak for moms of children with developmental issues, but I trust that they would make the best decision for themselves and their family. Looking for the vanishly rare exceptions does not strengthen your premise.

Do ya'll see my point now?

No, because you don't have one. Setting up vanishingly rare strawmen to question parenting practices that are within the biological norms does not a legitimate point make.

I mean what is the cut off point? How old is too old in your opinion?

Too old is when the child no longer wants to. Too old is when mom has nursed for a good length of time-year or two minimum IMO, but any beats none--and has gotten to a point of being tired and fed up with nursing. The thing I think you don't grasp is that nursing a child who's 2 or 3 or 4 or even 5 is absolutely nothing like nursing a newborn. It may not even be daily depending on where the child is in his/her process of growing out of needing it.

[wendy1221]

I think newlife is a troll. That or she's mainstream and doesn't belong on mothering. She also posted on the circ board that intact men smell bad and can't get it up, etc.

[RubyV]

Good point Kristi. Brests as sexual objects are a result of culture, not biology.

Does anyone remember who the anthropologists was that did the study about south american indiginous cultures and their view on the Western obsession with breasts? Those men thought it was sick and infantile that Western men viewed breasts sexually. In their culture, breasts are for babies and small children. Men are into butts.

So, no, breasts as sexual objects are based in cultural conditioning.

[RubyV]

Originally Posted by wendy1221

I think newlife is a troll. That or she's mainstream and doesn't belong on mothering. She also posted on the circ board that intact men smell bad and can't get it up, etc.

NOt that I've noticed.