single mother blues

[momxox]

I am a single parent of an eight year old girl, who has been
raised very close to her cousin. We all thought the family
support was a positive thing for us all. But over the years the fighting and competition between cousins has been escalating.
Each parent has their own way of handling discipline, and it has
become very stressful on my relationship with my brother and
sister-in-law. Not to mention the kids.
My daughter not only has had to deal with lots of anger from her
cousin, but also has been treated unfairly by the grown-ups. Her
cousin is rarely made to stop.
I have tried to cut back on the family visits and vacations. But the
problem has gotten pretty extreme now when the kids are together.
I don't want to lose my friendship with my family. I really think
her cousin would be happier if she were limited in her out of control behavior. I don't feel it is fair to my daughter to keep putting her in this situation with out some resolution. She says her cousin is mean to her....
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to negotiate
discipline issues within extended family circumstances?

[peggy]

I'm not sure you can change how the other parent's react or discipline their child. I had this issue with my sister, our DD's are close in age.
We had to stop doing "family" things together and I helped my DD develop friendships with other girls she had more in common with. As for times when we had to get together, I tried to "keep an eye" so I could step in and stick up for my DD, whether my sister liked it or not.

It's a tough situation

peggy