Nursing Mama feeling scared...

[hjshan]

Hello,
I know I should be excited, but I'm not. I'm scared! I have a 23 month ds, who nurses a lot (day and night) and cosleeps with us. My days fly by chasing him around and picking up the disasters he leaves behind. I never had a return of af and had difficulty getting pregnant the first time, so I'm surprised about being pregnant now. I don't know that I'm ready for another nursing babe. I still wear Jonah (ds) in the sling and this may sound strange (hormonal?) but, it breaks my heart to imagine sharing my love/time/breasts/everything with another baby besides ds. I feel overwhelmed, like I've given everything I have to my dh and ds and now am supposed to find more??? How do you all do it? I know, it will work out and I'm still in the shock phase, but, none-the-less, I'm scared! AND, how do I leave Jonah (who refuses to be left with ANYONE other than mom and dad) to go to the hospital to have this other baby--I will have to have a repeat C-sec--no VBACs in the hospital I live by. Sorry for my complaining, I just know how much work is in store--way different the second time around! I really want to fall in love with this pregnancy and baby, I just am having a hard time.

[AugustLia23]

Oh, mamma, that's one of the reasons the pregnancy is 9 months long. It gives you the chance to prepare your family, body and mind for another child. Though I am only a mamma to one like you, I completely believe the love multiplies, it does not divide. You would not have been given the gift of another pregnancy if you were unable to do it.

Good luck and congratulations.

[munchkinsmum]

I know what you mean. I am 5 weeks pregnant and I have a 2 1/2 year old who nurses a lot! She also doesn't like to be with anyone except Mom.
I am lucky in that I have seen several friends nurse their toddlers successfully through their pregnancies. Some of the kids weaned and some didn't. However, all of them have the gift of a sibling and things seem to have worked out well.
Think of how much our children can change in just a week or two. Nine months is a long time - who knows what will be happenign then. In the menatime, if we just meet their needs now I think that they will be better able to welcome the new additions.
Sorry I don't have any real advice, but hang in there.

[hjshan]

Thank you so much for responding. I think I am just very overwhelmed! As each day goes by, I am feeling better mentally--however, nausea has kicked in! After a long day, I just wonder HOW I will pull this off--not so simple stuff like grocery shopping, cooking, bathing. For the next 4 or 5 years will I be nursing? Probably. Will I EVER go to the movies again (it's been YEARS)? Good thing for DVDs and pay-per-view. Oh, in the big picture, this will be amazing. I am just a little concerned about the next 3 years! I see my doctor tomorrow, it will be reassuring to know my estimated due date and hopefully see or hear my baby, I could be anywhere from 6-9 weeks pg. Thanks again for your support.

[bwylde]

I practically could of written your post last year when I was pg with DD and everything worked out great, way better than I ever could of hoped for. I'm still nursing DS (I love tandem nursing!) and he stayed with his grandparents fine while I was in the hospital nearly a week after my C/S. We're all doing so much better than I ever would of expected and hope that everything works out well for you

[mollyeilis]

Since I know how hard it is to recover from surgical birth...I wonder if you could go over the mountain to Santa Cruz for your new baby? Dominican, unless my stepmom who is a neonatal nurse there is lying, does VBACs. Welcomes them. The related birthing center also still helps VBACs. Again, unless my stepmom is lying to me. (she's trying to get me down there from Washington for a future VBAC...now that's a drive! )

IMO, a bit of a drive is worth not having to recover from major abdominal surgery while taking care of two children....

[ChiroWife]

I feel the same way only I have tasted the freedom of a potty trained, weaned child. I was SO worried that I would resent this baby for taking away the "freedom" that I now have with DD. Yesterday I had my first u/s ever and I fell in love all over again. I feel like I am on cloud 9. For the first few weeks I have felt very overwhelmed and I am not even nursing. I have just decided that some things (the clean house) will have to be sacrificed. DH and I will do what we can and that will be good enough.

Have you tried Netflix? Love them! Movies in your mailbox, works great!

[hjshan]

Hi Molly,
Yes, Dominican and Sutter do VBACs (I am a L&D RN-but now staying home with my 2 year old). It's about 45 minutes away and we would have no help with Jonah if I was up in Santa Cruz. BUT, I am definitely considering it. I am feeling much more positive about the pregnancy. I am just VERY nauseated. MUCH more this time around. Maybe I'm having a girl (worse symptoms with girls, so they say...). Anyway, thanks for your message and you should consider coming down this way. Dominian is great and I like the NICU there a lot.

[mollyeilis]

Oh wow, makes me think you might know my stepmom...Nancy B. About 5'10" and does cross-stitch in her "spare" time. I love her, but she has the unfortunate tendency to tell me she "knew" I'd have problems in birth because I wanted to "plan" things...OK, whatever, didn't even have a birth plan printed out (had to write one for Bradley)... Of course, I *should* have called her and had her come up for my son's birth, but was too afraid of her displeasure of a planned home birth.

not my post! shush Molly!

I think if I travel anywhere for future labors it will only be as far south as Oregon. Mucho easier to VBAC there.

BTW, speaking of babies...I was conceived in Pacific Grove, or so my parents tell me. : (things I never wanted to know LOL)