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What am I going to do with the kids? - Page 2

post #21 of 51

My own sister is like this

She starts counting down the days for school to start the day they start summer break..

I've finally come to the conclusion she really doesn't know how to enjoy the time she has with her kids.She just doesn't have a clue.
post #22 of 51
I *love* school breaks (mine and theirs) because I get to spend quality time with my kids. I love them and we try to keep things as simple and unstructured as possible. Even though my kids are PS'ed, they are very creative and resourceful, unlike many of their peers. Its great.

But I hear a lot of that whinning too, it breaks my heart.
post #23 of 51
Maybe the non-hs-ing moms who are saying this in front of hs-ing moms are looking for ideas and cheerleading?

I am now trying to think about how to make at-home time more enriching for my not-quite-two-year-old. I can definitely see how someone might start out a conversation looking for positive feedback with some kvetching! Though my son is so enthusiastic about learning new things that, even though I am not a big fan of homeschooling, I'm starting to flirt with it. I mean, what if he continues to exhibit this level of delight whenever he learns something new? It is really tempting to want to hang out with him and be there when he learns new things, just, indefinitely.
post #24 of 51
I look foward to breaks from school because I miss my kids so much, and its an opportunity for trips and board games and all the things we usually have to cram in if we want to do at all. And we get to sleep later, and have long talks, etc... However, I can also relate to the sentiments of complaining parents, for reasons I'll explain.....though I think its horrible to say these things in front of the kids.

Quote:
e. It's like the schooled kids are having mini-deschooling experiences: they and the parents really don't know what to do with themselves when they are home together all day.
This rings very true for us. One of the biggest difficulties is the fact that the kids take about a week to adjust to being home together, and they bicker and fight and yell at each other to no end until they've mellowed and gotten used to each other. So that first week of summer break is torturous for all of us, and short breaks throughout the year are hard too. I count on the fact that they will find their groove and we'll all start to enjoy each other eventually. But the transition can be very rough.

Also, what a previous poster said about working parents -- it affects my availability at work, and sometimes that is hard to manage too.
post #25 of 51
It drives me nust when I here that. DS is often ask during break to wear the kids out during TSD (Tang Soo Do, Similar to TaKwonDo). the parents say they don't know what do do unless the kids are sleeping or eating.

the person that bothered me the most was an "ex" friend who worked but her Dad watched her DS when school was out. He was in school 5days a week, 8 hrs a day and at his dads every other weekend. On the weekend he wasn't at his dads he was at his gradfathers house. Her reason being she needed a break after putting up with him all week. Hello, she saw him for 30 in the am before school, and about 2 hrs in the evening before bed. She spent on average 10 whole hrs a week with him, most of that time being meals, home work or getting ready for bed. She couldn't wait to ship him off to his dads for vactions, winter break etc.
post #26 of 51
I hear this too, and I want to ask them why the he!! they had kids if they didn't want to be with them? :

If asked how "I do it", I usually avoid answering, and just say that it's not for everyone. Because it's not. It's not even for me everyday!

Sadly, but true, these are the parents who will complain that their adult dc NEVER come to visit them! Duh! And why would they when they heard all of their childhood how their parents didn't want them around! :

I have a very dear friend who pulls her dc out of school somedays, just because she misses them!

mp
post #27 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by sha_lyn
the person that bothered me the most was an "ex" friend who worked but her Dad watched her DS when school was out. He was in school 5days a week, 8 hrs a day and at his dads every other weekend. On the weekend he wasn't at his dads he was at his gradfathers house. Her reason being she needed a break after putting up with him all week. Hello, she saw him for 30 in the am before school, and about 2 hrs in the evening before bed. She spent on average 10 whole hrs a week with him, most of that time being meals, home work or getting ready for bed. She couldn't wait to ship him off to his dads for vactions, winter break etc.
Well yeah, the time she spent with him was totally stressful for her because she was responsible for getting him ready for school before work (go! go! go! we're both going to be late! what do you mean you forgot your lunch?) and then for helping him wind down and do homework (hurry! hurry! hurry! oh no, now you have to sleep! what if you don't get enough sleep, you will be impossible! etc.) and never got to hang out with him when they were both relaxed. So of course she wanted to have some one else look after him, after all he was a complicating factor in every stressful day!

You can't like your children if you only spend the worst time of every day with them. I'm happy we have so many good hours now to build love and humor.
post #28 of 51
For me, it kind of depends on how they say it (body language, tone of voice, etc.) If they seem to truely not enjoy time with their kids, or say it in front of their kids, that's very unfortunate. But sometimes I think people are just letting off steam about that transition process that mamaduck talked about. I can be sympathetic to that. Also, school breaks are a major change in routine even for SAHP. For some of us who like routine , that change is not always something we look forward to, even though once we are used to the "new" routine, it's fine and even fun.

But overall, I agree -- it's too bad that kids have become so much of a burden to have around. My sister's kids are in school, and she really looks forward to breaks. She has commented to me about how astounded she is to hear so many other parents complaining about school vacations.
post #29 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by captain optimism
You can't like your children if you only spend the worst time of every day with them. I'm happy we have so many good hours now to build love and humor.

That reminds me of all the reasons DH and my mom told me not to homeschool DS. His countless hrs of homework were stressing us out. I was told if homework bothered us then HS'ing would drive me nuts.
It is just the oppisite, because we don't have the stress that school was giving both of us.
post #30 of 51
Out of the mouths of babies:

We hear this comment often. My niece made this comment about her 6 year old daughter.

My daughter asked, “Why don’t you like to GN, she is very nice and fun?” My great niece and her had been playing all day long. Lets say things got real quite until my sil changed the topic of conversation.
post #31 of 51
I recall my mum constantly saying "I can't wait to get them back to school". It always really upset me as a child

I get people telling me now that I 'need' dd in school so that I can get a break. Why do they all think that I feel the same as they would if they stayed home with 3 kids? Weird.........
post #32 of 51
I have friends who both work outside the home and put their two kids in daycare. There is no "school" this week, so I was hoping we could all get together for a playdate. But no, my friends are sending the kids to daycare every day "so we can get some things done"! I just don't understand how putting the house in order could be more appealing than spending time as a family over the holidays. And what about the kids? They're three and 10 months, by the way.

Then there's my other friend who stayed home for two years and put her three kids in daycare fulltime because "that's the only time I get to myself"! I agree with the PP who asked, If you don't want to be with your kids, why did you have three of them?!?

I do think parents who work out of the home fulltime have a distorted picture of life as a SAHP. I try to explain that when the kid/s (just one in my case) are home all the time, you settle into a rhythm with them. You don't need to plan activities to occupy them every single minute. A lot of times they are along for the ride while you do what *you need to do, and other times they are happily amusing themselves because they have had some relaxed time with you and know they will have it again if they need it.

I'll bet if children had more of a chance to deschool and parents to "de-work," there would be fewer complaints about vacation time.
post #33 of 51
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mogit
I have friends who both work outside the home and put their two kids in daycare. There is no "school" this week, so I was hoping we could all get together for a playdate. But no, my friends are sending the kids to daycare every day "so we can get some things done"! I just don't understand how putting the house in order could be more appealing than spending time as a family over the holidays. And what about the kids? They're three and 10 months, by the way.

Then there's my other friend who stayed home for two years and put her three kids in daycare fulltime because "that's the only time I get to myself"! I agree with the PP who asked, If you don't want to be with your kids, why did you have three of them?!?

.
Things like that make me so sad for the children. What is wrong with people? My SIL has a "friend" that does the same thing. Even leaves her child in daycare when the daycare calls and says he threw up and has a fever. I just don't get it. When I had my oldest son, I was a single mother and had to work. I also went to college. I took him in a sling with me to classes and worked nights so I could be with him as much as possible. I am so thankful everyday that I am able to be home with my kids everyday now.
post #34 of 51
I've been reading a thread at another site that just has me so sad. These people are convinced that their children need to be in school all the time to stay "socialized" and entertained. I really wanted to say something, but I just kept my mouth shut.
post #35 of 51
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sha_lyn
I've been reading a thread at another site that just has me so sad. These people are convinced that their children need to be in school all the time to stay "socialized" and entertained. I really wanted to say something, but I just kept my mouth shut.

Ah yes, the pack mentality. The children must stay in the pack to be socialized. Ugh, yuk!
post #36 of 51
hahaha, lula, that's a good one!
post #37 of 51
Quote:
Originally posted by Sha_lyn:

That reminds me of all the reasons DH and my mom told me not to homeschool DS. His countless hrs of homework were stressing us out. I was told if homework bothered us then HS'ing would drive me nuts.
It is just the oppisite, because we don't have the stress that school was giving both of us
You got that right, Sha-lyn. I keep telling people that homeschooling is nothing like homework over and over. I think just about everyone imagines that homeschooling must be like a hellish nightmare of homework all. day. long. :LOL! Oh, how wrong they are!

Laura
post #38 of 51
When my mom drops by on the way home from work, she keeps asking my kids if they have homework they need to do instead of visiting with her.
post #39 of 51
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sha_lyn
When my mom drops by on the way home from work, she keeps asking my kids if they have homework they need to do instead of visiting with her.
:LOL that is too funny!!!

I guess most kids are going back to school today. Glad mine aren't. I would miss them.
post #40 of 51
I am just starting to seriously consider homeschooling, so please bear with me.

I think just about everyone imagines that homeschooling must be like a hellish nightmare of homework all. day. long.

I have talked to people who homeshool, and they assure me that it is NOT this way. I wish I could be a fly on a wall in their homes, though! I can understand how a person could homeschool one child, but I honestly can't picture it with more than one. (I have three.)

I keep having nagging feelings that sending my kids to school is like throwing them to the wolves (read: peers!), particularly when my ds is supposed to start middle school next year. The thought of having my kids in public middle school and high school depresses and scares me. I have a lot of reading and research to do.

Also, I'm not trying to sound like one of *those* parents (you know, the ones that count down the days until the end of school break), but how do homeschooling parents get a break? I'd love to hear what works for you and how you keep from getting burned out.
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