Feb chat thread - Dec 27 to Jan 2

[Periwinkle]

Woo hoo.... one more week til 2005!!! Hope everyone had a nice holiday!


kavamamakava February home waterbirth
Kater07 February
Isabeau due early February
3 Little Birds due Feb 1
Chiku due Feb 1 birthing center
Parker'smommy (Heather) due Feb 1
Lisashepp (Lisa) due Feb 1 homebirth
Sadkitty. Due Feb 1st
Dandylion (Stephanie) due Feb 2
Truvie due Feb 2
Lasofia due Feb 2, homebirth
PeacefulVegan (who also answers to Tracie) due Feb 3
Lou due Feb 3
Orange due Feb 3 Birth Center with OB
Twin Mom (Deb) Due Feb 4, VBA2C homebirth
Free Thinker (Mandy) due Feb 5
Wtchyhlr (Joy) due Feb 5, homebirth
HelloKitty (Kitty) due Feb 6
Letabug (Arleta) due Feb 6
LianneM due Feb 7 homebirth
TexasSuz (Susan) due Feb 7
Happymamajenni (Jenni) due Feb 7 hospital/OBGYN
Lousli Baby Hazel born 12/21. CONGRATULATIONS LESLEY!!
Parthenia due Feb 7 home waterbirth
DeirdreAlison (Deirdre) due 1st week Feb homebirth, maybe waterbirth
New Life Due Feb 8
kimbalicious due Feb 9 - hospital birth with midwives
Shannon 0218- due Feb 11 hospital birth with great OB
ella-makes-3 (Jasmine) - due ~ Feb. 11 midwife/natural birth at birth center
Marcella due Feb 11 homebirth
HeleneP, due Feb 12
Tug (Terenia), baby #2 due Feb 12
Firefly due Feb 13
Christi due Feb 14 hospital birth with fab OB
Periwinkle due Feb 14
Fairymomma (Pamela) due Feb 14
Jorie (Margorie) due Feb 14
AmBam (Amber) due Feb 14 homebirth
rose angel (Karen) due Feb 16
mama2m&m (Denise) due Feb 16
HydeParkB due Feb 17
Karennnnn (Karen) due Feb 17
Coopsmama (Kristen) Due Feb 17
Bella'smamma (Cecily) due Feb 17
luvmytwo (Karen) due Feb 17
HydeParkB (Bridget) due Feb 17
Gretchen Due Feb 18
Zandersmom due Feb 18
weesej (Jen) Due Feb 19 homebirth
Ekblad7+ (Amy) due Feb 20 Homebirth
kinsey43 (Kinsey) due after Feb 20
heveasoul due Feb 21, h/b with m/w
veggiemommy (Holly), due Feb 21
Shyly (Monica) Due Feb 21 home water birth
mehndimama (Stell) due Feb 22 unassisted homebirth
Emmama due Feb 22, homebirth
Mainemon (Susan) due Feb 23 homebirth w/midwife
Mama2Chloe (Tricia) due 25 Feb #2
Threeforme2005 (Traci) due Feb 25
artgirl (Kelly) #2 Feb. 26
munki'sMom (Tammy), baby #2 due Feb 26
woolfairy (Elle) due Feb 27, baby #2 homebirth
Maprilynne (Aprilynne) due Feb 28, birth center
KateSt. Late Feb. Homebirth
4Given (Stacey) due end of Feb

[Periwinkle]

33w + 0d

OK finally a breather. I am feeling well but starting to really sloooow down. The past 2 weeks have been insane... one relative visiting after another and like 3 big parties we hosted. A lot of fun, but I am just worn out. Fortunately it's all clear sailing with zero family commitments or trips planned through to my due date!

[wtchyhlr]

I just need to vent.... so we did the whole christmas thing at my MIL's house... and while no one outright questioned us doing homebirth, cloth diapering and breastfeeding, SIL, BIL, and MIL were very down on them. SIL doesn't know how I'll find time to pump breastmilk from work (i'm like, hello, there's a room just for that in my building, and i'll call HR if ANYONE tries to stop me), BIL doesn't know how we'll have time for cloth diapering (i'm like, well, gee, one extra load of laundry per day. a whole, what 10minutes? 15 if i go really slowly), MIL is just convinced that those icky diaper genies work for cloth as well as disposables, and insists that i need one. I keep telling her no, and if she gets me one, i'll try to take it back, (though she probalby will've gotten it from the base - in which case i'll sell the damn thing)

[AmBam]

Good morning all! I have been very busy and haven't posted in a while, but have been lurking a little.
Congrats to you Lesley! I hope baby Hazel continues to do well and can come home soon!!
Little man just woke up so gotta run!! I will check back soon!!

[mehndi mama]

Mmmmm, don't you just love people who try to tell you that you CAN'T do things? I feel for you, Joy! Lucky for me, I didn't have to deal with any of that - my parents were totally AP, my boyfriend in HS (my oldest's bio-dad) was born at home and nursed 'till he was 4.....and by the time I had acquired IL's who thought I did things wierd, they didn't have any say at all, because "This is the way I do things"

I bought a knitting machine last night with my Christmas money, and stayed up 'till 2AM messing with it :LOL I started a sweater for my 12yo, and got the front, back, and neckband done Now I just have a shoulder seam, 2 sleeves, and the body/underarm seams.....and the skull & crossbones to duplicate-stitch onto the sleeves

I'm being very very very very bad at the moment. The Christmas Toad (don't ask!) brought the kids Pixy Stix. I'm eating them. One right after another.

[milk_maker]

I'm in a bit of trouble here. I managed to hide the fact that I'm having a homebirth from my GM while we were visiting. She freaked when I started talking about an unmedicated birth and I just didn't want to deal with it. She's very supportive of cloth diapering but that's about it. Well she was talking about visiting after the baby comes and I happened to mention that I'd already told my parents that I didn't want anyone to come the first week or so because I didn't need to deal with guests and wanted time for DH and me to bond with the baby. Well she said, that's fine then! I'll get a hotel room and we'll be there! I dropped my jaw and tried to stutter around it but I have a feeling that she will be here the minute I've hatched this little egg. I don't mind her visiting, but not at the beginning (she'll make me a nervous wreck). This is the woman who told me to start feeding the baby cereal at 2 weeks to make the baby sleep! She also said not to let the baby in the bed because she went through that with her last son and didn't get him out of the bed until he was five...then made a comment that they're just like dogs :

I'm just so screwed. I'm going to have to go through some of the biggest battles in my life days after what is supposed to be the most joyous moment in my life and I am so not looking forward to it. I'm seriously thinking of lying and telling her that my parents are here so she won't come. She hates my father beyond all belief and will not come around if he's here. I hate this...

[mehndi mama]

Yes yes yes! Tell her your parents are there!

[wtchyhlr]

Or just don't tell her you've had the baby. Seriously.
We're planning on waiting 3 days before announcing the birth to anyone IRL - and then asking people ot wait a few days prior to visiting.

[woolfairy]

Just checking in.

shyly: Since she is a grandmother and not a parent, I'm sure you could get away with not telling her the baby has arrived. But if you know that your parents being there will be a deterrant, then I would just go that route.

Shannon: Feel better soon! I hope the stone passes and you are back to normal soon.

wtchyhlr: I had a long IM discussion with my brother before DS was born about cloth diapers and how stupid I was for trying them and how soon I would be tossing them out in favor of sposies. Needless to say, my fully cloth diapered son potty trained before my brother's son, who is 1 1/2 YEARS older than mine. (DS potty learned at 2 1/2 on his own. All I needed to do was buy underwear.) He and SIL were also slightly horrified by my nursing DS, especially once it was obvious that we would need to use an SNS for a very long time. Too bad for them I guess.

[shannon0218]

We're doing this too, only people who I want around know the actual c-section date, everyone else has one that is a full week later.
I got flack yesterday about cloth diapering--also told I "couldn't do it". My mother stood up for me and said how horribly allergic my brother and I were to disposables and my uncle pipes up with, so if the kids allergic you just plaster the vaseline on thicker--I just shook my head and said I'm glad I wasn't born to his family.

[KateSt.]

I was gone for a few days over Christmas and look at all I missed!
Congratulations Lousli and Hazel!!! Lousli, I can understand why you're sad and I think it's okay to feel that way. I'm so glad Hazel is okay and growing well. She certainly is beautiful! Congrats again!

Shannon... What else can I say? I sure hope you feel better.

Monica -- I think you should delay telling her (as proposed by someone else). I've told my family no one is welcome until a week or so after the baby comes, and thankfully all are supportive of that.

Hope everyone had a nice holiday!

[heveasoul]

Hi All.

Oh groan...I'm so sorry for those having to deal with obnoxious comments. Dh and I have decided to play our cards pretty close to our chests for that very reason. Most know we're going the mw route, and some know about the homebirth, but I don't get into the rest. Mind you, everyone, even work people who have asked, are supportive of bfing. I still find the question "are you planning on breastfeeding?" weird...I mean, ok, I know it's a choice, but it always strikes me as so odd when I'm asked that...I found out recently that my sister, who I've never considered a "naturally-living" kind of person, cd'd her daugther (now 12). I didn't know at the time, and obviously it was no big deal...As for the faq of whether or not the baby's room is done, what colours, etc, I always get vague...so they think we're terrible procrastinators, who cares? :LOL And most of the time...people in a social situation can be such poor listeners, it barely even registers...

I will have my mom in town helping out, hopefully before l&d, but plan to ship her off to ILs (in town) when labour starts. Both mothers are worry-warts - supportive of my choices, but still fearful. Not welcome, not invited. MIL said she'll have a hard time staying away, that she'll be in the car outside our house. I told her fine, but February is an awfully chilly time of year to be doing that...I'm afraid we won't be able to keep the mothers away for much longer than a couple of hours after the birth. Dh is keen to be gatekeeper, so I hope it will be manageable.

Shannon - how are you doing? I hope everything settles down for you, that you pass the stone and your bp normalizes.

cool story, woolfairy, about the cding "battle". We each have to make the choices that make sense to us, and hopefully the proof will be in the pudding for all of us... ...and in the end...dh and I remind ourselves (when we get into armchair parenting mode, after particularly frightful scenes with nieces and nephews), when the parenting is coming from a loving place, and people do the best they can/know how...we all survive our parents. (I'm not talking abusive situations here, just the other "stuff" dh and I get riled up about.)

[middlemamma]

Hello all, hope you all had great holidays.

33 weeks tomorrow here...and definetly counting down. I can't wait to see my new little girl. I feel pretty good, getting anxious and nervous.

I am sorry for those of us (myself included) who seem to be surrounded by uneducated and ignorant persons, who becuase we chose differently than them, are the focus of rude, unsupportive and negative comments.

I had a home birth with my first child and am planning another one this time. I had a cousin due 2 months before me when I was pregnant with my son. She went into labor and had planned on no meds atthe hosital but was finally talked into them of course. After the baby was born I was watching her through the nursery window, and her hubby came right up to me and said, "There is NO WAY you can do this at home. Jess couldn't do it without pain meds and neither can you." LOL...needless to say I got the last laugh. I have decided people are just fearful of what they don't understand and they won't open their minds if it isn't what they THINK is normal.

This pregnancy my MIL (not the same MIL as with child #1) is just dumbfounded at the idea of home birth, thinks I am nuts, and at one juncture actually made the comment, "No grandchild of mine will be home birthed!" Ummm.....guess what lady....no one is going to ask you permission. LOL.

Anyway! Support vibes going out to all of those with people buzzing in their ears with less than supportive comments.

The saddest part of it all is I know sometimes I just want to share such GREAT findings with the people in my life and find myself keeping all this info to myself out of fear of the negative comments or god forbid the things people do like calling CPS on us for things like no vax etc etc. If they would just ooen their minds a tiny bit...sigh.

Jennie
Middle Mamma

[KateSt.]

Jennie, I know what you mean. I'm pretty closed-mouthed about many, many things regarding our birth and baby. Thank god(des) we have supportive women (and enlightened!) here to share our ideas and experiences...

[shannon0218]

Update, blood pressure has come down enough with the pain meds that I don't need to rush into the hospital, I do however have to call her again at 5:00 to tell her how things are going and she said she'd be at the hospital between 5 and 7 if I thought at all that I needed to be seen.
Elle, do you mind me asking why you needed a SNS for an extended time and how it went (It's a given I will need one too, that's why I ask)
On the baby's room thing, my friend (who was AP before it had a name-her kids are grown now) said to just respond that the room will be ready when the baby needs it.
Dh has had a rough afternoon of driving, starting with a bus fire right near us on the highway and then an accident he very narrowly avoided being part of, now he says the news station is saying the highway is jammed because of the bus fire for about 6 exits before ours so he just called asking me for a good back roads route home. I feel guilty, he's supposed to be finishing the living room floors today, but I don't think he's going to have time to get very much done

[milk_maker]

Originally Posted by middlemamma

The saddest part of it all is I know sometimes I just want to share such GREAT findings with the people in my life and find myself keeping all this info to myself out of fear of the negative comments or god forbid the things people do like calling CPS on us for things like no vax etc etc. If they would just ooen their minds a tiny bit...sigh.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. I want to share everything with the people I know and I can't because they just can't relate. I'm so sick of shocking people and then having to defend my choices but I think the knowing smiles and snide comments about me not making it are even worse. I think, if anything I'm taking the more simplistic approach to parenting. Kid sleeps with me so I don't have to get my lazy butt out of bed at night to feed...cloth diaper so I don't have to mess with a diaper genie and all sorts of chemicals...home birth so I don't have to go to the hospital and fight for my rights. I think I'm the smart one here and that I'm doing it the easiest way possible. Cheapest too...milk's free, I already have the bed, and I don't have to do any diaper runs in the middle of the night. I just have to make sure I do the laundry...sheesh...that's not too hard. I mean, I don't know...I guess they must think I'm one of those people who can't do anything domesticated or something like that...

Sorry to get off on a tangent and stuff. I just kind of needed to vent a little. I enjoyed spending time with my family, but it was so hard. I did make a comment that I was not vaxing when my cousin was talking about how her niece stopped breathing after getting vaxed and she just looked at me like I was smoking crack. Oh well. I just have to roll my eyes in my mind and hope that they don't think htye're going to interfere with my parenting methods. I really really hope my GM doesn't but I'm not too sure. She was always calling CPS on my dad because we were vegetarians and we owned snakes.

[tug]

hi everybody -

i am actually hoping my MIL does make it here for the birth. i need someone to love james a lot while we connect, etc. with the new baby so i will be happy for her company (hopefully, she will also help with my dad a bit too -- taking care of him while i am postpartum just seems like a nightmare right now).

luckily, we've been totally free from the unhelpful comments so far...hope that keeps up.

take care everybody!

terenia

[Free Thinker]

Yay! I am 34 weeks now I can hardly believe it! I have nothing ready, but plan to get started in the next few weeks (need to get CHristmas and end of the year tax stuff done first ) I thought I'd pipe in to say to just not tell family of all of your decisions if you don't think they will be supportive. I don't think most people realize DD is not fully immunized, or that we did a delayed schedule on imm. Also, as far as the CDing goes, I didn't have much support last time, so I didn't start fully CDing until about 2ish months. I had so many people tell me it wouldn't work, that I hated to spend much $$ on it, so I only had about 10 diapers, and would use them durring the day until they were all dirty. This time I have plenty of diapers, and know that is what I will do. Also, on the BFing thing, the only ones who need to support you are those that will be there right after birth. After the first little bit, it's really just up to you and baby. You will have to hear comments on your parenting no matter what you decide to do, so get used to fielding the questions now :LOL

I have found it easier to just say thanks for the advice, and do whatever I want to anyway.


And I don't think I have posted a CONGRATULATIONS To the new mama and WELCOME to baby Hazel!!!!! I am so excited for you, and hope that little Hazel is home soon with her mommy and daddy

[Lousli]

Hi everyone. Thanks for all the kind thoughts. I'm too tired right now to do personals, but wanted to update you all. Hazel has moved into an intermediate room, room D. She is off IV, and taking more with each feeding. Her weight has dropped to 3 pounds, 7 ounces, but will probably start to climb back up again soon. Her bilirubin levels are finally dropping, so hopefully she won't be on the phototherapy lights for much longer, maybe just a couple of days. She actually latched on to the breast and took a couple of sucks today and yesterday, which is fantastic!

I hope those of you who are feeling yucky (Shannon) get better soon, and those of you dealing with rude/insensitive/less educated family members and friends don't have too much trouble setting them straight. My mom is the same way about cloth diapering, she's sure I can't do it. Ugh. Makes me want to just to prove her wrong!

By the way, I'm updating Hazel's journal daily, so people can see how she is doing. Her website is:
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/b/bigsister/
password: mycroft

[Pinoikoi]

I'm sorry so many of us are having problems with family... mine have actually been very supportive- especially considering that this year I shocked them with an adoption AND a pregnancy... they took it much more in stride than I would ever have thought...

I am so jealous about little baby Hazel, she is so cute! All new babies are, but baby girls especially so it seems (coming from me, with 4 boys at home)...

Anyway, my biggest deal right now is my dad. He is in Thailand and we haven't heard from him. I *think* he missed the tidal wave because of his flying time, but you'd think he would have the decency to call someone. My grandma called me last night asking me if I had heard from him. Just like him to make everyone worry about him, though..