Very strange question to ask

[Mrs. Hagas]

How do working americans bf????

I have a sil who lives in the states who's expecting her first child. She was very shocked to hear that she will only get 6wks of unpaid time off.

I am truly amazed that any working americans bf. They are to be commended for their dedication to it.

Why I ask, in Canada you get 1yr off! We have maternity leave with our Employment Insurance so get about 55% of our pay while we are home taking care of our baby. Allowing us to establish bf and in most cases time to wean or have limited bf with solids introduced already.

[mama2m&m]

i envy canda's maternity policy and wish we had the same here. i went back to work at 3 months with my dd. i pumped while at work and then b/f the rest of the time which equated to evenings, nights, mornings and all weekend. it worked well for us but was a lot of work.

six weeks is pretty laughable in my opinion cause it took me at least that long to get myself back to feeling normal. i'd say that my b/f relationship with my dd was pretty situated by then but i didn't feel quite together enough, but that's just me. i have insurance at work for six weeks and then take some vacation to lengthen my maternity leave.

i plan to do the same with this next one except i plan to quit after collecting my benefits upon return. good luck to your sister!

[Meli65]

It does stink, doesn't it? I remember telling a consultant we worked with that I'd be back at work in six weeks (he lives and works in Canada) and he was literally speechless.

I worked in the office three days a week, and from home two days a week, which was a lifesaver -- and pumped three-four times a day while I was in the office, carrying my milk home in an little insulated lunch bag. It was a lot of work and fortunately my office mates were very enthusiastic about it. I still bagged FT work in just a couple months though.

Good luck to your sister!

[kimmysue2]

I was lucky since I got to take my son to work and was able to nurse him while working (customers on the phone never knew).

Pretty much if they don't have my special situation they pump and they are allowed time to pump while at work.

[Camellia]

I agree it is laughable. Many Americans don't even get the 6 weeks paid. My SIL just had a baby Nov. 5th and she'll be back to work in January. She had some trouble bfing my nephew (He wouldn't eat after being circ'd : ) so she just gave up since she'll be heading back to work so soon anyway.

Its really a sad situation. I'm so glad I had my kids while Dh and I are in college. Its been a struggle financially, but so worth it. Dh and I both get to spend a lot of time with our kids, and I am home with them almost 100% of the time. (I take internet classes mostly and go part-time).

I hope things go well for your SIL.

[Lucky Charm]

I pumped. My grandparents gave my two older kids expressed breastmilk, and then my sitter gave expressed BM to my youngest.

I was also able to pump at work, relieving engorgement.

[foreverinbluejeans]

I had every intention to return to work at 6 weeks. I was a chemist and made twice as much as my husband. I couldn't do it. My baby wouldn't take a bottle. I found a sitter close to work so I could nurse him during my lunch break. He would cry for hours and the sitter couldn't calm him. I would go to pick him up and he would actually be swollen from crying so hard.

I quit my job and had another baby 3 years later. When my second child was 2 my husband left us. He enjoyed how much I could make when I worked and was tired of not having enough money. He married a woman who couldn't have children.

I found ways to make money to supplement child support so I could stay home with my kids. I had a brief second marriage and another baby. My child support from that marriage was enough to allow us to survive until my youngest son was 2 1/2. At that point we could no longer afford our house payments.

I returned to college so we could live in family housing and I could get financial aid. I completed 2 master's degrees and now I am close to finishing my doctorate. I will then be able to teach at the college level. My youngest is 16 and we home school. He works at Subway and we often need to use his money for food. My oldest is 25 and is training to be a medical lab tech.

My 21 year old is an RN. He lives less than a mile from us and comes to check our refrigerator to make sure we have enough food. He gives me money for food and has paid for our car to be fixed. He says that I took such good care of him and helped him through his courses to be an RN that now he can afford to give me money for food and emergencies. I hate to have to take his money but I am also proud he has grown up to be generous.

It's been difficult, but I choose poverty to be with my children. I have found that it may be as important to be home for pre-teens and teens as it is a toddler. My kids got to go on trips that I couldn't affort with Boy Scouts. They had pretty much a middle class life even though we didn't have much money. It had definately worth it.

[nancy926]

The US has the Family and Medical Leave Act now, which entitles you to 16 weeks of unpaid but job-protected leave. It's still really lame compared to a year off with partial pay though!!

I got 6 weeks of short-term disability leave (60 percent pay) and then took another 10 weeks unpaid (which we had saved for). I work from home though, so bfing was much easier for me than for WOHMs. I don't know how people do that and I have the utmost respect for any mom who pumps 5 days a week!

[Lucky Charm]

What helped me, was i worked at night. My kids slept through the night, so only needed the EBM the day after i worked, while i slept (from 10a-2pm). This helped tremendously. Then, i started scheduling myself fri, sat nights, off Sunday night, then Monday and Tuesday nights, and i wouldn't go back until the following Friday, giving me 9 days and nights off in a row, twice a month.

Before i was a nurse, it was a bit more difficult, i worked m-f and that sucked.

Pumping at work was never an issue. many of the moms did that.

I know there are quite a few moms here at MDC that are die hard pumpers and have made it work, some exclusively breastfeeding their kids for more than a year.

[phathui5]

You can send your sil over to the working mamas forum. It's a subforum in Parenting Issues.

[Charles Baudelaire]

Here's what I did, if you're really asking. I had basically NO paid time off -- conveniently, DD was born the day before we went on Christmas break (I'm a teacher), so I had basically two weeks off and then I blasted through a few weeks of my sick leave.

I brought the Medela electric breast pump -- close to 200.00, but worth EVERY PENNY. Believe me -- it really was worth it, and besides, I resold it for about half of that on ebay, so I got a lot out of it.

I pumped during my prep hour and lunch time and stored my EBM in the faculty fridge with "Caution: Lab Sample" written on it in big letters. Wisely, I'd pumped a LOT when my milk first came in, so my DH, who was watching DD during the day, had a good frozen supply as backup. I would pump in the AM before I left for work, pump at work, and then feed her ASAP after I got home. It worked fine for the most part!

[medaroge]

6 weeks really is laughable

I am so fortunate that I am able to stay home with my ds. When we hit the 6 week mark, I was so greatful that I did not have to return to a job, I dont think I would have been physically or emotionally ready to leave my baby for any lenght of time. It made me respect all you working outside the home mamas so much!
~M.

[Ellien C]

FMLA is only 12 weeks across the US and it does NOT have to be paid. Some states have a 16 week unpaid leave, but it's according to state. You SIL will most likely be entitled to 12 weeks unpaid leave (assuming her company is large enough and she has worked there at least 1 year).

So - I took 12 weeks FMLA leave (8 paid thanks to my company) and then my husband took 8 weeks unpaid leave when I went back to work. My company also had a phase-back period where I worked 2.5 days the first week and gradually more over the next month until I was back to full-time. Full-pay kicks in at the first week, so that was nice and allowed us to extend husbands leave a little.

I too bought the $200 Medela PIS, which was great and a took a lot of breaks to pump. I probably only really worked 6 of my 8 hours at work, what with all the pumping - but so what. It didn't last that long and I figure pack-day smokers take more breaks than over the life of their habit. For me the key to pumping was not to measure my output/self-worth/value of a mother by what went into those little bottles. Whatever I pumped, I pumped and that was that. I supplemented with formula in the end of the first year. My dd is about to be 2 and still BF. I stopped puming when she was about 10 months old.

So, I think the short answer is: Many of them don't. Some pump and many supplement with formula.

Now my situation was different because I'm in a professional career and salaried. Lower paid workers and hourly workers have a MUCH more difficult situation.

[lacysmommy]

I'm going back to work sometime next month. My DD will be six months in January so we're happy that I've been able to take this much time off. I will pump and nurse when I'm with her. Many American women qualify for Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA). That is for 12 weeks leave where your job is protected. I wish it was longer. I am a government employee, so I was lucky on the amount of time I got off.

I plan to quit my job in a few months once we refinance our house. DH has only been at his job 3 months now. I agree, it is difficult to nurse and work living in the US.

[captain optimism]

I was WOHM for the first I guess fifteen months of ds's life. I had 8 weeks leave, one month part time and then back to full time. I pumped constantly. I had a fridge in my office that the supportive facilities guy got for me.

It took dedication to keep it going, but I did and now that I'm out of work () I am still nursing my active little toddler--yes the same guy who used the moment of me typing this to snag a ballpoint pen off of the dining room table...!!!

[loving-my-babies]

I know what you mean. I am from Chile and women get more time off, and paid. Babies cannot (by law) enter a daycare center before the age of 87 days, which is 3 months, so that means they expect the mother to be with the child exclusively for that time, and I think the total maternity leave mothers get is 6 months off (paid).

[tarahsolazy]

I pump, three times a day (at work), and nurse my DS as often as he'll agree when I am home with him. DH stays home with him, and he takes a bottle of EBM. Luckily, my supply has been fine, and DS has had only BM, never formula! I like my pump times, its a little oasis of baby time in my busy day. I have to sit quietly and think of my little lad. I plan to pump until at least 12mo, maybe more like 15, and nurse DS until he self-weans.

[zerby]

How do we do it? With dedication. I returned to work at 7 wks PP, as I couldn't afford to take unpaid time off. I worked 55 hours a week, pumped 3 times a day, and encouraged RCN. Kelsey received a grand total of 9 oz of formula (via her NG tube at the time) and she is now a happy nursing toddler that I know has stayed healthier than other kids with her condition due to nursing. It would have been easy to quit, and I do envy Canada's policy, but all I did is what moms have done since the beginning of time...what I thought would care for my baby the best. I wish the best of luck to your family member!

[Mrs. Hagas]

I didn't know about the extended leave, I'll definatley tell my sil about that. I have a pump that is brand new(used about 10times) that I will be giving her.

I does take a lot of dedication to pump!!! I commend those who have to do it.

Thanks for the replies everyone!!!

[HokieMum]

My sister returned to work 8 wks pp, and she has been dedicated to making sure her now 6-month-old gets as much breastmilk as she wants. It has been difficult, but my sister rented a pump from a super lactation consultant, and is pumping twice daily at work, and in the evenings before bed as well. While she is at home with her sweet girl, they nurse on demand.

I am lucky enough to be at home with Paige, and applaud my sister for her hard work. It is not easy to work f/t and breastfeed, but my heart goes out to the women who work so hard to be successful!