Friend does not want to BF

[medaroge]

Hi, I have a friend who is due in January and is not planning on nursing her baby. What sorts of things can I do or say to help her out? I dont want to be so pushey but I know how important nursing is, even for one day. I go to LLL meetings so I was thinking of inviting her to one, however she is on bedrest now so there goes that plan. Any advice?
Thanks,
~M.

[MA mommy]

Do you have any idea why? I know a lot of woman that wouldn't give me a straight answer on that... so it makes it more difficult to help them

I would really push the benefits for her also. Like reduced risk of breast cancer, etc.

[lisabc311]

I agree that trying to find out *why* she doesn't want to BF is critical. It could be as minor as being given misinformation from family members...to as major as a past history of sexual abuse.

If she is a close friend, I would definitely try to find out the reason and then help her work through that issue.

Good Luck!!

[medaroge]

no reason given

When I ask her why she does not want to, she jsut does not really give me an anwser, just "oh I jsut dont want to" or just shrug her shoulders. I have been "talking it up" to her a lot, how much I enjoy it and how much easier it is than formula. She has 2 daughters whom she did not bf and she says that they turned out ok without bf.

[mum2 4]

If your friend has computer access, she can explore LLL on line. there are chats as well as a ton of info available. Of course a meeting with real live Show and Tell Moms could do wonders.
When you visit just keep saying positive things about nursing rather than asking her for specifics as she may be embarassed to say even to a good friend. May also feel guilty for ff her others and not realize they will learn from this baby's care not their own.

[loving-my-babies]

Like the previous posters said, the reason is critical. I often meet women who don't want to breastfeed and they are often misinformed, think that formula is ok, just as good, etc.. but after I give them information and really get the point across (nicely) that formula is inferior, they usually think it over again.

[LianneM]

I have a friend who didn't want to - when asked why, she said she thinks it's totally gross. So, holding my tongue I mentioned that she might want to, at least, look into pumping so her baby could get some benefit from breastmilk. She ended up deciding to do that and said she would pump the three months she's off of work, and switch to formula afterwards. Better than nothing.

[lilysmom]

I also had a friend who did not want to breastfeed, because she said it "just grossed her out". That shocked me. I tried tellling her about the many benefits for mom and baby and how much better it is than formula.I tried to get her to jsut "try it", but no go!! She would say, "well, they would'nt make that stuff if it was so awful". She did'nt get it AT ALL. So last September she had her baby and formula fed her. Now after the baby is a couple months old, she says she will probably try breastfeeding her next baby. She realized how much of a bonding thing it is and said she would like to be close to her abby that way.

So ......I am happy she had a change of mind, I just wish it had come a little sooner.

Good luck , trying to persude her.