Stuff you hated last time or hope you don't get this time?

[kater07]

I got things last time that turned out to be such junk or totally worthless. Some of it I actually registered for, so it's my own fault. Other stuff I just got and really hope to avoid this time.

• Bouncer Seat - Totally Useless
• Swing - Totally Useless - but exactly the one I asked for
• TONS of Bottles - Mostly useless
• Baby oil and powder - made MY legs nice and moisturized and I used some of the powder on ME, but most went back b/c you aren't supposed to use that stuff on babies
• Bath Towel Sets (5) - Mostly Useless
• Bottle/Plate/Bib sets - would rather have gotten breast pads for the same price
• Monitor - Mostly Useless
• Loads of preemie sized clothes - he was nearly 9lbs
• Books by Ezzo, Spock and Dobson - um, WHY? - Those actually went in the recycling bin b/c I couldn't sell them or regift them with a clear conscience.
• Baby Bathtub - totally useless
• Shoes! Tons and Tons of Shoes! - couldn't wear most b/c his feet were HUGE, but we didn't do shoes (except Robeez) until he was walking.
• Diaper Genie - asked for it, would have used it for the 1st year probably but couldn't make it work. Would prefer diaper champ since I can use it for CDs.

What about you? Even you 1st time moms, are there things you really hope people don't buy you?

[HelloKitty]

I loved my baby bathtub, towel sets and vibrating bouncer seat (the only way I could shower alone or cook dinner)!!! Funny how one person's junk is another person's treasure.

The stuff I didn't use / don't care to get this time:

- Bottles - I have a couple for if I really need them and that's enough
- Pacifiers and pacifier holders - we got a ton of these last time and we don't use them
- Baby oil and baby powder
- Crib sheets (we co-sleep)
- Disposable diapers (we use cloth)
- Baby shoes (very cute but I would much rather get socks or booties as they actually get used)
- Onesies - we got a ton and don't use them with cloth so I'd rather people didn't get us any this time
- Porta-crib - totally useless for a co-sleeping baby
- Playpen - ended up being a big ugly toy bin :LOL

[ekblad9]

I also LOVED my bouncy seat every single time! I sling or Ergo when I'm cooking/cleaning but when I'm showering or bathing another child I really needed the bouncy. It's the only piece of equipment that I used except the car seat. I have a nice Peg Perego high chair that I bought second hand for my fourth baby. It tilts back and I do use that alot when the baby gets older and I'm cooking. Other than that, I haven't really gotten useless stuff in a while. I think all of my friends know how I love cloth diapers and natural products.

[middlemamma]

(smiling) this thread is why I call myself Middle Mamma. I am so in the middle between mainstream and NFL. Im one of those horrible moms (lol) who use binkies and sposies. But I home birth and don't vax or circ!! I BF and will as long as baby wants to. I also pump so dad can feed BM to baby with a bottle. I try to find what I feel comfy with and can look myself in the mirror and sleep at night. Maybe I am still very uneducated. Im open to that possibility.

Ive considered CDing but since I am not head over heals for the idea, I can't justify spending the initial cost to end up using sposies again. I know alot of you say its not that much extra work....but I do laundry non stop as is....I can't imagine 1 more load a day.

I don't co-sleep, as after 6 mos I wean baby to a crib, but DO NOT use the cry it out method and have always let DS come into my bed anytime he feels the need. He's almost 4 and does this at least 3-4 times weekly. And EVERY AM dad wakes him up to say goodbye and he comes and snuggles with me until its time for him and I to get up.

OKAY all that said...maybe I could by a few cloth diapers for someone who wants to get rid of some of their "junk"??

I never wore DS who is now 3, soon to be 4, but want to wear this baby. I still think while cooking at the stove, and showering I will still like my bouncy seat. I think I am going to try a wrap before a sling, I like the front carry I have seen, and the back carry where baby can see over my shoulder. But DH wants a sling for him....so...lol...a sling it is dad!

Anyway..just wanted to put it out there that anyone with stuff they won't use or need maybe a trade could happen....without guilty conscience?

Respecting all your choices....

Jennie
Middle Mamma

PS anyone with sling or wrap patterns willing to share I am in need as they are expensive, and I think I can make. (as I am sure you know!!)

[valeria_vi]

middlemama, I hear you!
I can be very mainstream in some areas and very granola in others.
This is out first baby, so I can't say for sure what things I will end up loving and hating, but I can see myself using the boncy seat (not abusing, but just using), but we will sleep with the baby at least in the beginning (the decision to keep it up or not will have to be made depending on how things go). I will most likely use disposables, but will breastfeed for as long as possible.

I'm only 19 weeks tomorrow, but it is time for us to star tthinking about all that baby stuff we will and will not want.

[kater07]

For the Record, I didn't hate the bouncer or swing b/c they are bad devices. We couldn't use them b/c DS was a hugs PITA when we tried. He screamed and screamed and it just wasnt' worth it. He would go into a tizzy if you even walked toward either. I took to showering before DH went to work, so that he was with DS in bed, and if I needed to put DS down for some reason, he liked the floor just fine.

Except for a few times in a 2 week period, DS also did NOT like pacifiers. There was only one that he'd allow into his mouth, and he wouldn't keep it there more than a minute. I won't even try with this one b/c I just don't like 'em. Not to be nasty, if baby needs to suck, I have boobs.

I kept the swing and bouncer just in case this new baby likes them. I actually can't wait to sell them and get them out of my house. I just have to wait (DH's orders) until we meet the new one and see what he/she likes.

[ekblad9]

All babies are so different. My youngest son, now two, hated the sling! It was very sad until I found the Ergo. He loved that! I can't say any of them really liked the bouncy but I found it essential for showers. I've had a few swings and none of my kids liked them so I sold them years ago. I've had two paci babies, one thumb sucker, one finger sucker, and one that doesn't have anything (she nursed for four years!).

[middlemamma]

Thats why I love having choices.....

I really really meant that I sooooo respect every moms (and familiy's) choices. I honestly have learned TONS about stuff I didn't even know exsisted. Like Ill give you a good example. I had no idea you could buy maxi pads that you could wash until I came to find an issue of Mothering. Thoughts that would have NEVER have occurred to me before MDC and Mothering I think of more. And I think as I get older I will probably change more and do things differently as time goes on. I learn something new EVERYTIME I come here or open my MOTHERING mag. Sometimes when I think of certain things that I feel so strongly about, like circ for instance, I think of how much a narrow escape it was for my son. I TOTALLY would have circed him if I hadn't just happened upon some info that was agianst it that made me THINK, made me look further. After I had looked further I couldn't have done it. I would have ended my marriage over it to tell you the truth. I knew after reading that it was wrong for me. But I think of all the parents out there (and I know not all are like this) that just don't think to question. They just do like robots. I mean until I picked up Mothering I had no idea there was any other kind of cloth diaper besides those gerber ones in Wal-Mart that you use pins in! As I learn more I will make changes to my life accordingly. I am thankful every day I have choices. I just WISH that the choices were more readily seen in the world and not something I have to HUNT for.

Jennie
Middle Mamma

[ekblad9]

I'm all about the choices too. My fifth child got really touched out from his brother's and sisters. I think that's why he didn't like the sling. He would NOT co sleep either. With no crib, we put him in a big boy bed at like 10 months old! He's slept there ever since. He comes into our room sometimes which is fine, of course, but mostly he likes his own space. This past week he weaned himself. I can't even believe it! I know he's two but I thought he would go alot longer. He's just an anti AP kid, :LOL So choices are definately good!

[mehndi mama]

I just think you guys are so lucky to even GET baby gifts. We've gotten plenty of clothes from friends and relatives (some of which was awesome, and has been passed down to each kid since Ian, and some of which went straight back to the store to exchange for something more practical - like, basically, anything with a floppy collar on it!)
Everything else has either been loaned/given to us secondhand, or bought at a thrift shop. Including diapers, except for what I make myself (barring the giant bag of disposable diapers my grandma insists on buying for each baby, which gets returned for clothes.)

Anyway, I think you are all very blessed to have friends or family members that will throw you all baby showers or spend the kind of money they do on stuff for your babies.

[kater07]

I have to agree, I feel very blessed that we get gifts. The 3 things we've gotten for this one are ...

*nursing necklace that I LOVE
*Wet Bag for dipaers
*Guess How much I Love You

Oh, and DS got a book about being a big brother.

I need to kick it into high gear and whip out some small diapers b/c I have only a few. I didn't mean to sound greedy or ungrateful at all. I was just wondering what everyone finds really handy and, like you said about the disposables, what isn't.

I feel awful when I see that many of you don't get gifts, have never had showers or get things pushed on you that aren't your style. It hurts me that not everyone gets spoiled by friends and family.

My playgroup has had 2 new babies born into it this year (2004) and we all took turns making dinner for the family. That was a blast!

Happy New Year!

[woolfairy]

DH and I were just talking about this. Except for his sister (he is one of 4) we haven't gotten a thing for this upcoming baby. Well, unless you count my Hanukkah present from my dad which was money to buy a stroller. I'm just kind of used to it. (On a side vent, why do dads get gifts for them and moms or expectant moms get stuff for the baby? Does that suck or what?)

We hardly got anything for our 1st and what we did get we mostly got from my mom, who died when DS was 10mos old. Personally I think it is because both DH and I have lost our moms and our dads weren't the primary ones to think of those things before and now they are both remarried and their wives, while very nice, aren't our moms and are therefore don't feel the same connection, you know? Plus, we are 2000 miles away from them...

And even though my friends had showers for their 2nd babies, I know I won't. Although it isn't really my tradition anyway... But there won't be anything after the fact either because I kind of know how things go, you know? Anyway, at least we get to pick out things that reflect our taste. And we do get the occasional hand-me-downs from friends.

[HelloKitty]

Just wanted to add that yes I would be more then happy to get anything at all for this baby! By contributing to the list I didn't mean to imply that I would be ungrateful for anything we received, just thought these lists might help those expecting mothers that are buying their own stuff or putting together a registry.

The only thing we have gotten was my mother got the baby a couple of outfits for a Christmas gift, that was cool. This is number four for us so I guess that's why, also I've gotten a few comments from people that have told us they haven't bought anything for us because we haven't found out the sex (afraid to buy neutral colors I guess?!).

We are planning on having a "meet the baby" party after he or she is born - not for gifts but just to celebrate the birth.

Kitty

[mahogny]

Things I received and used that some other mamas don't:

bouncey seat (great for showering and peeing!)

monitor (I'm an early bird and go to bed early, DH is a night owl. We'd turn on the monitor if he was still awake and DS and I were in bed, so if DS cried his "hold me" cry or some other non-hungry cry, DH could come in and take care of it so I could continue sleeping.)

swing (not too often, and I sat next to/in front of him every time, but DS for some reason just giggled and laughed at the motion, and it made me smile too much to hear him giggle like that.)

exersaucer (once DS outgrew the bouncey seat, this became where DS stayed during my showers and potty breaks.)

baby bath tub (I know some mamas prefer to bathe in the sink, but ours is always full of dishes!)

boppy

high chair




things I received that I never used:

pack and play
pacifiers
baby powder
a medicine-giver thing that's like a pacifier. You put meds in the nipple part and the baby supposedly sucks it out. Weird, huh?
crib mobile

Things I received and used only because I had them, but wouldn't buy them myself:

Diaper genie (we sposied our first, and received the genie, but man oh man, that thing is a PITA to use. Before too long, it was just easier to put the diaper in the outside garbage than to wrestle with the genie. Not to mention the refills are like, 5 bucks a piece! It's quite a racket!)

H'mmm...that may be the only one.

[lisabc311]

We had a baby shower for DS and got lots of stuff. It was wonderful to see so many people happy and excited for the upcoming birth of our baby.

This time....nothing. And it's not about the STUFF at all. I just want to feel that everyone is equally excited about this baby! It is kind of upsetting.

Actually, I do have to say that my girlfriends all act very excited for us. It's family members (especially on DH's side) that don't and it bothers me.

I know I am kind of hijacking here...but anyone else feel this way?

(Oh, and stuff I loved and got tons of use from....Baby Bjorn, highchair, baby washcloths!..........stuff I didn't use....Diaper Genie).

[woolfairy]

This is EXACTLY how I feel. I don't care about the stuff so much as the fact that it seems as though people are barely even acknowledging this baby coming. Even DH has failed to set aside money in our budget yet for baby purchases. Heck, he hasn't even said to just put it on the card because I will have the money budgeted to pay for it at X time. And I am 34 weeks!!! Now I know he's excited about the little one, but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who is spending any time at all thinking about and preparing for him/her.

[lisabc311]

Originally Posted by woolfairy

Now I know he's excited about the little one, but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who is spending any time at all thinking about and preparing for him/her.

Well I feel better that I am not the only one going through this! My problem is mainly with family members (mostly on DH's side). It's very hurtful for them to NEVER ask how I am feeling or discuss the baby at all. I sort of thought the baby would be acknowledged around the holidays. But nobody said a word.

[ekblad9]

Originally Posted by lisabc311

Well I feel better that I am not the only one going through this! My problem is mainly with family members (mostly on DH's side). It's very hurtful for them to NEVER ask how I am feeling or discuss the baby at all. I sort of thought the baby would be acknowledged around the holidays. But nobody said a word.

I'm on baby number six and the only thing I've ever gotten in acknowledgement from dh's mom (for any of the babies) is the "are you done and can Jesse get a vasectamy now?" Never a gift, well wish, NOTHING! I've given up on that. My parents more than make up for it, thank God!

[lisabc311]

Originally Posted by ekblad7+

I'm on baby number six and the only thing I've ever gotten in acknowledgement from dh's mom (for any of the babies) is the "are you done and can Jesse get a vasectamy now?" Never a gift, well wish, NOTHING! I've given up on that. My parents more than make up for it, thank God!

Thank goodness your parents are involved then....that is an absolutely HORRID thing for your MIL to say!

My Mother passed away when I was a kid, but I know for sure she'd be so involved and excited for us. I miss her so much but know she is watching over us. I especially feel that way when I am pregnant.

[woolfairy]

Lisa: I know how you feel. My mom passed away a few years ago (when DS was 10 1/2 months) and this pregnancy has been much different because of that. She was so excited and so much a part of things, even long distance, that I really miss it this time.

ekblad: I agree. That's an awful thing to say!!!