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May 04 Babes - Happy new year!! - Page 3

post #41 of 342
nuggetsmom! I know what it feels like to be a spineless jellyfish. I have the hardest time standing up for myself, especially to my Inlaws, and when I do, I feel like the biggest nerd (for lack of a better word )
post #42 of 342
yup, our lentil HATES the changing table. He hates to be laying down, period, unless he's already half asleep. Which includes laying on his tummy, so he's nowhere near crawling. But he is starting to do some cruising, so I think he's just going to skip the crawling bit. He still can't get himself upright from laying down either on his belly or his back, and my husband is concerned that he will have trouble because he's skipping some important step. I just reason that he won't be sixteen and unable to move from laying down to standing, so why stress about it now. I also worry about his speech. It is so hard to be patient and allow their brains to develop at their own pace.

I have a question- since we started the lentil on solids I've noticed a dramatic decrease in the amount he's nursing. He used to nurse for ten solid minutes at a go, now sometimes he just takes a few sips, then he bites me and he's off and running. He used to have to nurse every two hours like clockwork, now he can go much much longer. I thought that introducing solids would act as supplements, not replacements for breast milk, but he just doesn't seem to be nursing nearly as much as he did before we started solids. Right now we feed him a little super baby food porridge, peaches, bananas, oatios, sweet potatoes, peas, carrots, and are scheduled to start on the avocado soon. We usually give him two or three flavors at a sitting, and he usually doesn't eat a huge amount, maybe two or three tablespoons total max. I don't think he would need less nursing, but he seems to think so. Has anyone else noticed this sort of change? I don't want to think that he would be self-weaning so young...

oh- and what is the matter with the highchair?
post #43 of 342
post #44 of 342
We use the highchair lots here too. Its great at dinner time - we pull the tray off and adjust the seat so Ben can sit right at the table with the rest of the family. He likes to be part of the action and the dream of pulling all of his sisters dishes off the table keeps him happy. DH also pops him in there while cooking or doing dishes, but I just keep Ben in the sling for my kitchen work, or else let him sit on the floor. We've only fed him twice, once on my lap and once in the high chair - he loved being able to play in the carrots in his high chair! Lap feeding is nice, but hard with a grabby babe! We'll see how it plays out, but I'm keeping the highchair!

to nuggetsmom and AGrace... hang in there you guys!

Ben HATES being changed too. We don't have a changing table (just use our bed) but he doesn't want anything to do with the project. Also hates getting dressed. The only way to get clothes on the boy peacefully is to do it while holding him in his sisters bathroom so he can yank her shower curtain and whap the stuffed fish hanging from the ceiling. You gotta do what works!

And boy o boy does he scream... unreal that a little being could be so loud!

Heather, I hear ya about the dirty looks while out with the babe in a sling! Had the same thing while travelling, particularly from the moms pushing babies in those 'travel system' strollers or else lugging the baby in the car seat, while juggling big over-stuffed diaper bags. I have to guess that my little backpack and happy baby in the sling were more than they were willing to tolerate!

I bought myself my first pair of post-pregnancy jeans today - much-needed retail therapy after big fight with DH last night and this AM. The super-hottie sales guy playing with Ben didn't hurt things either!

And its really seriously snowing here too!
post #45 of 342
rough few days here for me, mamas...

I was taking domperidone to help increase my milk supply, but it's expensive and I'm not really fond of prescription medications. The side effects are barely noticeable for me, aside from slightly increasing my milk supply, enough to give the babe a snack if we get caught out or away from a bottle for too long. Well, I have one more refill left on the prescription but I thought I'd try weaning off of it and see if my milk supply stays up or if I notice any other changes. I also had to return the breast pump we rented and have yet to purchase a new one. I have a call in today about that, finally. Anyway, about the domperidone, I'm thinking maybe it was doing more than I thought because babe went from nursing every hour during the night at the beginning of the week last week and having a totally sopping wet diaper and getting our sheets wet by 5am to barely sucking for a few minutes every few hours at night the past few nights and having a slightly less than soaked diaper at 8am. I just don't know what's going on. He only nurses for a few minutes on each side now, whereas he was nursing for like 15 minutes at a time on each side before becoming frustrated because the milk must be too hard to get. It makes me cry, mamas... I don't know what I should do. On the one hand, yes, the medication is expensive and I don't really fell like it's halping enough to justify continuing it AND it's a pharmaceutical which I don't know enough about, but on the other hand I just feel so inadequate and like we are taking one step forward and two steps back right now

I've had a couple of other things come up in the past few days that took me by surprise, too. I just learned yesterday that the midwives who attended our babe's birth are parting ways and establishing separate businesses as of March. It makes me kinda sad, especially without knowing even a little bit of an explanation as to why. They only made this decision like a week ago and were surprised when another former client and friend of mine called them to find out if it was true and they learned that the news was out already. I don't want to call them and bug them, but at the same time I want them to I'm thinking of them and even though I may not know the reasons or even understand them, I still love them both and support them in this choice.

And on Sunday, one of my best friends here in Portland finally called me after a few weeks of non-contact. I think about her all the time, and I had this feeling that the reason she was not calling me was because she was pregnant and feeling reclusive like I did last year at this time. Well, when I asked her if she went to visit her husband's family and friends up in Seattle after Christmas (she's a nurse and was supposed to work Christmas Day), she said that although she ended up getting four days off in a row, they decided not to go and stayed home instead. Then she told me that she lost a baby of about 12 weeks gestation on Christmas Eve. She had had some bleeding the week before and had an ultrasound and learned their baby had died. She started miscarrying on Christmas Eve and ended up going to the emergency room on Christmas Day, and finally having an emergency D&C on the 28th. I was speechless. I told her how sad I was for them and that I didn't know what else to say and if she needed to or wanted to talk, she could always call or come over. She said they named him James and buried him in their backyard of their new home. Sad sad sad... I haven't decided what I'm going to do for them yet. On her birthday a couple of years ago, when they were still living at their old house, I bought her a butterfly bush because she likes them so much and saw the ones I had planted at our house. I kind of want to get her another one, but I'm still thinking about other ideas.

Phone call, mamas... gotta go...

sending all of you lots of love

post #46 of 342
***WARNING - Selfish Post Ahead***

Mamas, this sucks. I hate to be such a downer especially when I realize that it really isn’t terrible in comparison to some problems, but I am too tired to be reasonable.

Eleanor is not sleeping. Mostly it’s that she won’t fall asleep. She lays in our arms while we rock and pat her and she just stares up at us for hours. She doesn’t fuss unless we try to put her down. Typically this starts at 7 p.m. and recently she hasn’t actually fallen asleep and let us put her down until close to 11 p.m. She will just stare up at us completely zoned out for FOUR HOURS, then only sleep 2 hours or less at a time, and wake up for the day at 7 or 8 a.m. giving her a serious lack-of-sleep attitude the next day. We have a sleep routine and she was going to sleep consistently at 7 or 7:30 every night. We were just gearing up to start weaning her of using us/pacifier to go to sleep using the no-cry sleep solution but now it seems very unlikely that this will be a success. I am so tired at work and I have no down time with my partner at home since one of us is trying to help the girl sleep each evening. She is teething and trying to learn to crawl so she probably is in pain. Yet she sleeps fine for her naps so I really don’t get it. I have to say this not falling asleep at night thing makes me and I am shocked at myself. How can I be mad at this little being who knows not what she does? What does that say about me and about my ability to parent her when she actually tries to push my buttons?

Also I worry that there is something wrong. What are the signs of an ear infection versus teething? We see no teeth but she is drooling like mad and shoving stuff in her mouth and thrashing her head back and forth like a shark once she gets a good bite of something. We have been giving her Tylenol and Baby Oragel (both with sugar which I HATE) and we are going to try homeopathic stuff today (Camelia). She just now has non-green poos after her stomach issue and she isn't eating solids except bananas because she won't open her mouth for them. Ergh...I am just frustrated and I am too tired to even finish this silly vent.

I am off to lunch to eat something not good for me…
post #47 of 342
See, I knew I shouldn't vent when there are more important things going on.

Claudia, you posted while I was posting and now I really feel terrible because I have a wonderful baby and I feel so bad for your friend. I can't imagine how hard it must be for her particularly over the holidays. I think that the butterfly bush is a good idea - I imagine it in the spring full of blooms and buzzing with life as the birds, bees, and butterflies come for a visit.
post #48 of 342
Hugs to you Claudia, I have no advice but I'm thinking of you, that must be so hard! I don't think you should feel inadequate though, you're doing everything the best that you can for your baby. You're doing great.

How awefully sad about your friend's loss. I can't even imagine. I personally love the idea of the butterfly bush! But if you've already given her one... On the other hand, can you really have too much of a really cool thing?

Lisa- Hugs. I have no advice for you either, but I can empathize with your anger. I think it's totally normal. And I don't think that it's actual anger at the baby though... I rationalized it as this: I wasn't getting adequate sleep (that alone can magnify everything else), I was frustrated that DH and I couldn't spend any time together, frustrated that I couldn't get any time to myself, worried that there was something wrong with my baby, etc etc. And all that emotion with the lack of sleep... well you're bound to be a little flustered and upset.

Oh and I'm totally with you on the lack of down time with partner. Our relationship has been so shaky anyway, that it's *really* frustrating. It seems like when the peach actually naps at the right time or goes down well at night, something else comes up. AARRRGGG!!!!!

Gotta go, I've been on the computer way too much today. :
post #49 of 342
Oh Claudia - I am so sorry about your friend. That is so hard. And it is especially hard when you have a beautiful happy baby yourself...

about the milk issues. I'm sorry I don't know what else to say - this is one of those issues where you have to look inside yourself and make a decision, and then trust that. I know how hard you've worked at this and it is so frustrating for things not to improve.

Lisa - I totally relate to the emotions you're having. Lily has been such a sleep fighter for so long. It colors my entire existence, 24/7. I feel resentful, then guilty for feeling resentful...you're not alone.

Jacqueline - Lily does the same raspberries-on-the-floor thing! And on our arms and legs, the furniture, her books...

And finally, I just want to reiterate that IMO there is nothing wrong with high chairs, I like high chairs, but we just don't quite use it yet. Probably will very soon. I have been putting L in her exersaucer with a few O's or rice puffs to play with while I cook/clean/etc. - same idea.

post #50 of 342
I think we all need a
post #51 of 342
Should I go edit my : highchair comment? :LOL I guess I was just a bit sensitive after being glared at at the mall by the "mainstream mama mafia" Ugh. I guess some days I don't feel like I fit in with any group of mamas.

Claudia--*hugs* I second Sarah's suggestion to reflect on what to do and go with your heart's decision. I'm so very sorry to hear of your friend's loss. A butterfly bush would be a wonderful gift to honor James and I'm sure seeing it alive with activity every Spring/Summer would be a wonderful thing.

Lisa--I know how the resentment feels and I agree it's not about the babe as much as it is about having your own needs and having to put them aside. Lack of sleep does really color our perceptions. Our bedtimes have been okay, but the nap fighting is crazy some days as she is crying in exhaustion but refusing to sleep. Sometimes it really seems like she can't stop moving enough to settle down. Although, now that I think about it she does sometimes stare wide awake (it seems) after some middle of the night feedings and I just feign sleep and 'ignore' her and sometimes it works. On nights that she fights sleep, we just keep her up til 930 or 10 and turn in with her then. I think the convergence of teething/mobility might make any of the NCSS hard to implement as she might not be in a receptive spot? It does get doubly hard when the couple time suffers as that's the backbone to the whole family unit. Hopefully this phase will pass in time. *hugs*

Emmalola--I'm not sure if your nursing issues are solids related or just distractible nursing? It seems that C is less interested in nursing in general in the afternoons/early evenings these days and I don't think it's solids per se. She also seems to be having her biggest feeds at bedtime and 11pm and at 5/7am and way back when the LC had told me that 5 feeds a day was okay--though that still seems way too infrequent for me. I would just watch the diapers and you can always back off of solids for a day and see if things change. I also tend to offer solids about a half hour after feedings and at least an hour before the next one.
post #52 of 342
Agh, mamas, so much going on!! We ALL need s and more s.

And not to reiterate the wonderful things everyone else has said, but well, yeah. what they said...and hang in there.

I have something to say about sleep and anger, always! *sigh*
Rowan has been going down for sleeping, naps and bedtime--HARD. What I mean by that is, not allowing me to rock him, arching his back, and then, when I put him down in the crib to pat his back because there's seriously nothing else I can do, crying and thrashing around till he passes out. *sigh*
We've gone beyond sleeping in the sling at this point, he won't even let me put him in one lying down, only sitting up.
He also likes to lie in our arms STARING at us...I tend to close my eyes and sing or hum so he doesn't think he's missing out on something...not like it works, but it makes ME feel better. :eyeroll
(gee, and just now he woke back up, not an hour after I put him down, and I had to rock him back to sleep. I swear, mamas, I will never get a full night's sleep again, I know it...)

And yeah, like someone else said (damn, can't remember who...tired mama brain!) a combination of being tired, not getting any time to yourself or with your partner, and then worrying that something might be wrong with your precious babe on top of that...makes for a frustrated, unhappy mama. I have been known to throw up my hands on the harder nights, nearly in tears (or actually in tears) and say some things that are, well...not so nice. :ignore

We've all gone through it, and I don't think it's any indication on how we're going to parent our toddlers and older children when they really ARE testing us. And, this is the hardest thing in the world for me to remember, and it may not help Lisa or anyone else having a rough time but, it WILL pass.

Already I've been sure Rowan would be sleeping in his carseat until he was walking, and then I figured I'd have to adapt the baby papasan for a two-year-old, and then I thought I'd gotten a crib for absolutely NO reason. But now, he sleeps, however short the spans, in his crib. I'm sad that he won't co-sleep, but I have to listen to my baby's needs. And these hard nights, well, they won't last forever. Now, i have to listen to my own advice when Rowan wakes up yet AGAIN, wanting to nurse himself back to sleep even though he JUST ate. Heh.

I had more to say but I feel like if I spend any more time on the computer Rowan will wake up, and I won't be able to eat dinner, or wash the dishes, or do anything else before DH wakes up. *sigh*
This too shall pass.

And again, It's all I can say. Love to you all.
post #53 of 342
hey all, just wanted chime in real quick, Claudia, have you ever tried mothers milk tea? It's made by traditional medicinals. A friend of mine had supply issues and she said this was the only thing that worked for her, although she did say that she drank close to a gallon of it a day! It's about $3-4 at the local whole foods store here, w/ 16 bags per box...still probably alot cheaper than your scrip, if it works for you. Not to mention it tastes pretty good! If you like fennel, that is...sorry if you've already tried it, if so maybe you could give it another shot in higher quantities?
For eveyone w/ sleep issues, it IS a phase and they WILL grow out of it!! I remember Kayla Rain going thru this too, as is Asha for nap-times only (thank whatever I have to thank for that!) I think it has alot to do w/ the transitions they are going thru right now, new-found mobility, new eats, probably more out-of-home activities as we are all feeling comfortable taking them out and about. Not to mention the new types of frustation i.e. "I can't reach that and i REALLY want it" (atleast thats what I think Asha's trying to say) anyway, just my 2 cents, hope they help!!
post #54 of 342
Renae, you make me smile.
post #55 of 342
Originally Posted by AGrace584
Renae, you make me smile.

Aww! I am flattered. Heh.
Don't you hate it when you know that your little one is sleeping his longest stretch RIGHT NOW, when you want to be up doing things, but you know you should be asleep, trying to take advantage of the stretch of baby sleep? Thbbbt.

Anyway, I guess I should turn off Queer Eye and get ready for bed. :LOL
post #56 of 342
Hey Mamas.... to everyone who needs one! You guys are in my thoughts and I hope this new day has lightened the load for all of you who were feeling rotten yesterday.

We walked up to the community center this morning, mostly just to get Ben out in the snow, but wound up staying to play since there were a bunch of babies there. 2 other May babies, both of whom were crawling really well and who had 4 aned 6 teeth, respectively! I was really surprised.... hardly any of our babes are crawling now, right? Ben isn't close and is way more interested in trying to stand than crawl. They're all so different, but I got to feeling wobbly and insecure, like my baby was slow or something. But the other moms were sweet, so at least I didn't feel like anyone was looking down on me.

I'm off to knit while the babe sleeps, but I'll leave you with two questions:

1. Do any of you no-poo? I know there's a huge thread, but I'd take you all's advice first!

2. Now that your babes are eating solids, what do you do about poop in the CDs? Do you scrape it into the toilet? With what? (sorry to be gross, but a mama's gotta know, don't I?)

post #57 of 342
Ooohh ooh ooh ~Maggie Mae ~ I don't no-poo, but I've always wanted to try, it just intimidates me for some reason. I keep meaning to hit up the no-pooing threads to check out the options but still haven't. I'm one of those people who's lucky if I remember to comb my hair after I get out of the shower, let alone do anything else with it. : Maybe we could be first-time no-pooing partners and experiment together.

Love and to all.
post #58 of 342
hi all
we're back from vacation. isaac's two front teeth (the big ones) broke through FINALLY on the 1st. boy the week leading up to it was BAAD news. i even went to the ped because he was screaming so much i couldn't figure out what was wrong. the ped recommended motrin because its an antiinflammatory and it was a lifesaver

we flew down south the day after christmas and isaac had a combo of bad teething and a really bad cold and consequently went on a nursing strike for 36 hours! thank god i took the pump but i was dying anyway--it just doesn't get the milk out like he does. we were staying at an elevation of 8000 feet so i was concerned about his dehydration with the altitude and then it was 10x worse because he wouldn't nurse at all. he was a pathetic little sick noodle poor babe. but he came out of it. we had some VERY hairy driving through the MAJOR blizzard hitting the sierras. what took us 3 hours to drive on sunday took us 8 1/2 to drive on thursday. i was doing the contortionist nursing in teh carseat with dh telling me to put on my seatbelt because we could slide off the road at any minute :LOL i can laugh about it now. i had 3 great days of snowboarding with dh while isaac was being watched by my mom (2 days) and my SIL (the other day). i didn't worry about him (toooo much) although i did do pretty short days. boob pain was my signal to go home

isaac was ~2 weeks late (due 5/15 born 5/26). he's been huge the whole time which i attribute to his late-ness (somewhat..the rest is genetics). he was never a tiny little babe newborn like i see some other babies. he was 21 inches from the getgo and didn't have those spindly little limbs or that little tiny cry. he could hold his head up from day 1. developmentally i don't think he's ahead of any curves though. he isn't crawling and i'm not sure he will. he loves to stand when someone is holding his hands. i just showed him how to stand next to his crib and hold the rails and he turned around with the BIGGEST SMILE. it was funny. i could swear he said 'mamammama' when my mom was holding him and i came back from snowbaording. but my efforts to get him to say it again have failed :LOL

he's really leaning out. his cankles are gone

i was using my sling in tahoe walking (slowly) through the snow. i was the ONLY person i saw slinging a baby (and mine is the size of a toddler). several people were trying to navigate their strollers through the snow. hahah. i was really scared about slipping and landing on isaac though. we spent nye with friends in a hotel room in tahoe. isaac couldn't sleep because we were all talking so he even made it til midnight. the actual minutes before 12 we walked out into the snow. i have a pic of us all which i shall try to upload soon and post. isaac is in his little snowsuit in the sling

he seemed happy to be back at daycare in his routine. he was so tired monday night he conked out at 7. vacation was a lot of changes of scenery (right after we just moved too) and he's going through a very mama-needy stage. moreso than before anyway. i think things will settle down now that we're home

turboclaudia~ i'm sorry you're still having some stress about marek's intake. isaac was having those mostly dry diaps on vacation and i know the feeling. actually the last time i posted on here i think i was talking about having to change him in the middle of the night because he always leaked. he hasn't leaked since then (over all of vacation) and quite the opposite...had some hardly wet ones when he was sick. i think his milk consumption must have just dropped way down.

what is no-poo??

hugs to everyone having hard sleep times and any other hard times (we've had many up-most-of-the-night-on-the-couch nights lately with these two front teeth and mama got a little delerious ) . we visited family and i had so much help with isaac it really made me wonder what the f*ck i was doing living where i have NO support with a baby

gotta stop blabbing. its a wonderful sunny day in portland. crisp and cold and clear too bad i'm stuck at work
post #59 of 342
Thread Starter 
Selfish post here

I realize everyone is having issues but I am selfishly only posting my own here quickly (hugs to your friend Claudia though)
My mom is pissed that Julia can't just be put down for naps and wants me to CIO. The last couple days she has gone down hard anyway so she thinks I am but it annoys me. She said that the reason Naomi doesn't like to sleep and is some certain way is because I didn't sleep train (with CIO anyway) and that Julia is already having temper tantrums .

Clearly I am not the mother she expected me to be even though I thought Naomi was wonderful.

Gotta go.
post #60 of 342
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your words of support and encouragement. I think what helps the most is hearing that I am not insane and that other babies/families are going through the same thing. Renae and Heather, it especially helps to know that this staring-off-into-space-instead-of-sleeping thing is most likely not my daughter having a brain malfunction as I feared. I still find it frustrating and last night she never sleep more than an hour and a half after several hours of the blank stare – yet thanks to this board (and my endlessly patient wife) I am feeling okay today.

Heather – The term “mainstream mom mafia” cracks me up! We were at the mall once and this woman came up to us and said, “Wow, and I thought that was a purse!” It made me laugh and think about the image of a woman who carries her rhinestone wearing lap dog in a Gucci bag only we're two lesbians carrying our baby in organic cotton. :LOL As I always tell my partner before we go into a mall, “prepare yourself; we are about to have our souls sucked away.”

Emmalola - quick hit of a nurser here too. I think she's just being efficient and not actually taking less in. Maybe your babe is just learning to nurse really well really fast now?

Claudia, I don’t know what to say except that I am thinking of you.

Nuggetsmom, you are a wonderful mom and don't you forget it! We all know that CIO is not your choice and we support you in nurturing your babe the way you want to. What is it with the intensity that people have about suggesting CIO? I don't understand why people are so critical of any other way but it is especially tough when it is family. I am so sorry that this is so hard. Hang in there and *know* we all support you.

Hey May Mamas, I am thanking my lucky stars today for you.
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