Alone Time Worse?

[Isaac's Mommy]

Does anyone else find that its always worse when you are alone? You think more? About thoughts that will NEVER happen? And does TV effect your thoughts??????

[Faithsmom]

Yes, that's why I never wanted my DH to go to work. I also got very lonely which made it worse to. About T.V.... last night we watched Farenheight 9/11..... it showed greusome images and also was about a woman who lost her son in Iraq. It make me sick, and when I went to bed, I couldn't help but watch my DD sleep and worry about the world she is growing up in etc. It also reminded me how lucky I am to have her, but it also made me think of the grief I would feel if anything was to ever happen to her. It was a rough night. That is not a movie I will be watching again. Since I had PPD, I usually am very selective about the things I watch. I avoid sad movies, images of children hurt, kidnapped etc. I don't want to "trigger" any feelings, thoughts etc. KWIM???

[medaroge]

I think alone time is the absoloute worst. Not often, but once in a while my DH will need to be gone overnight and I hate it, I get so panicky. A few weeks ago, when that woman in northern Missouri was killed and had her baby taken out of her I was thinking that there are crazy people out there, crazy enough to do someting so morbid as to cut out a woman's baby, that what was to stop people from kidnapping MY baby? But daylight finally broke and all was well.

[eveerickson]

about tv and overcoming past traumas

I am very selective about what movies and programs I watch. Especially when overcoming feelings of trauma, related to birth or anything. It's like my mind already has so much to process that throwing more stuff in to sort out makes me feel overwhelmed. It might not last forever; maybe someday you'll feel ok watching things you feel uncomfortable watching now. But after dealing with many postpartum isses, I find my taste for movies and tv has changed. I don't like scary movies like I used to and I avoid television shows where people are unkind to one another. Those really bother me.

We all want to know WHY we feel the way we do. It's good to explore the why's; it is part of your discovery process. (getting thyroid checked, talking with others who experience similar pp feelings) Something I found useful when sorting out all the unexpected difficult(!!) feelings/thoughts I had after my first's birth (who is now 2 years old) was an article on the La Leche League website. The link is below. If it doesn't work, go to the site, go to "parents", and search under "past birth". It made so much sense to me in my particular situation.

http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBMarApr02p44.html

[Collinsky]

I can't stand to be alone, that's the worst. My husband keeps trying to give me "alone time" so that I can recharge, but I cling to him like a monkey baby LOL When he goes to bed at night or leaves for work, I just feel like I'm stepping off a cliff...

[catnip]

I think I'm actually doing better when DD and I are alone... When DH is home too, I find myself mourning the changes in our relationship and from there spiraling into guilt that I obviously don't love my baby enough if I wish for some uninterrupted alone time with him, or just wishing to cuddle without DD in between. (she will not sleep for more than a few minutes without being in arms or sling, not even in the baby swing) DH is wonderful, understanding and supportive. He says he doesn't mind sharing me with baby, but sometimes I mind! I feel like I'm not ME anymore. And then I feel guilty. Plus I question our decision to AP... Am I over doing it? Would DD do better not being held if I didn't holdher all the time? Is letting her cry for a few seconds while I get a glass of water before nursing her the same as CIO? If she stops crying on her own (and I have never let her cry unresponded to for more than 2-3 minutes) has she given up all hope that I will ever respond? And don't get me started on carseat crying...