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June 2004 January thread!! - Page 8

post #141 of 454
It's snowing here-glad we got out of the house the last few days b/c it looks COLD. Looks like it is going to be like this for the next week, though today is the only predicted snow day.

Pennies! Even a coffee can full of them is what, 4 dollars? Do you have coinstar? That might be fun for Roland to pour them in, then get the money and take it to the bank. It'd save you the rolling. Tain loves coins too, he used to play with them all the time-he has never been the type of kid to put lots of things in his mouth. Now that Ro is here, he doesn't get it why he can't play with them anymore. But let's face it, even if Ro wasn't here the last time Matt gave him some he put them in our CD drive. Yeah, mommy says no more money.

I think Tain's molars are still giving him trouble. We gave him some motrin last night and, while he still didn't sleep great, he slept better. Ro is still nursing all night. This morning I decided I am going to have to keep track of how many times b/c even if it is only 5, that is still less than 2 hours apart. I wake up as flat and empty as when I went to bed! It's ridiculous. He nurses all day too. I am glad I know how bfing works and growth spurts and stuff or I'd start to wonder if I had enough milk. One of dh's co-workers tells me that she didn't have enough milk and what she describes sounds exactly like a growth spurt. I feel so sad that she really believes that and that her ds missed out on all the good mama milk b/c no one supported her or told her any different.

The cat really loves Ro. If Ro is sitting on the floor playing, the cat will come lay next to him.

Man, Ro is getting big! I am going to see my old mw next week and am so excited to use her scale! I justed measured his head and it is 18 inches. He's got quite a melon. He didn't have a very big head when he was born, it just grew like a balloon.

Okay, I really don't have much to say so I guess I'll go. Have a great day!
post #142 of 454
Okay, I can't help it. This is my 1,000th post!
post #143 of 454

Warning MIL vent coming:

I'm at $12.50 so far with the pennies & theres a 1/3 can to go... it's a kilogram can (biggest... not sure on US measurements! : ) I don't have any kind of coin counting gizmos here... do you mean like the ones at Safeway? They take a cut, don't they? If so, MIL would be pissed if she found out. She's very generous to us, bit she gives with strings. (Kevin ignores them, but it's a bit of an issue with me still) She's a bit of a loon... she owns an apartment building & she dumpster dives to get her tenants pop & beer cans for the deposits (she gives the money to the kids for their bank account, so we got a yogurt container full of bigger coins to roll & deposit, too!) She went on to me on the phone one day about how they "can't pay their rent, but they're throwing money away!" It's not about recycling for the environment either, she doesn't sort her cans, plastic & glass, because she "doesn't have time". I've tried explaining to her it doesn't take much time at all, but theres no gettng through to her. She's just nuts... she was complaining to me that BIL was throwing away all her stuff (he's 24 & still lives with them) and Kevin told me what some of it is: papers from the realtor job she had when Kevin was a baby, old phone books (BIL kept the last 4 years worth & threw away the older ones) and baking supplies that hadn't been used in years.

I've been napping on the couch this morning, while Caitlin (finally) sleeps. She should be up anytime now, though.
post #144 of 454
Thread Starter 
Our cats do not care for this intrusion of a baby at all. He loves the sight of them, though. I've forced them to submit to him on occasion but they rarely approach him. Only the old one, who has been through this before and discovered the baby became a child who'd pet him incessantly, is more tolerant. At a friend's house yesterday their cat came up to Rowan and sniffed his nose and let him "pet" him- bang on his head very fast with his fist, whiskers tightly grasped within. The cat seemed not to mind, though. Dogs love him but I confess I am never altogether comfortable with him near a dog's big toothy face. I really like dogs but I know they can be skittish with the unknown, too.

I caved and bought a peg perego on ebay. : It arrived yesterday and it's soooo nice and new and compact compared to the dinosaur I have been using. I have broken and dh has fixed parts on it and I keep putting too much weight in the basket and breaking that too. And it's really, really heavy- it's made of steel, not aluminum. Of course it's neat and old and weird and a pretty green-and-blue plaid so I feel guilty for wanting a new one too, because now I don't want to get rid of the old one either....I feel awful for being so material but I'm sure I'll let go of the old one soon. I wouldn't need such a damned expensive stroller except I want the reversible handle, and graco doesn't make them anymore, and even the one step ahead catalog, that awful headache-inducing magazine that arrives unsolicited in the mail, has discontinued their reversible handle model. The problem with theirs and even the old graco I have is the wheels don't reverse, so when it's carriage style it's very hard to get the hang of turning etc. I don't know how long I could go on trying to excuse this stupidly expensive purchase with money that doesn't exist; probably days.

And dd is having a birthday party in ten days and we don't yet know where or what it will be! Ice skating is a ripoff and too short, she doesn't like the idea of the gymnastics place, though it's a better deal, she doesn't want to do a park or beach yet again. She wants to have it at home, but doesn't know what to do and we have nothing really to do- we want to keep the masses out of her room, but we don't have a playset or pool or even a fence around the yard, and we have a huge dead tree that makes the side yard off-limits. Then we were trying to come up with a craft project (which I usually have had at her parties) but couldn't, and her male cousin would be miserable anyway. So I suggested seeing if a wild animal show could come to the house. At first she was very opposed, not wanting to support zoos or exploitation, but I researched it and found some good ones and am waiting for their hours to open so I can see if they are available on such short notice!! Now of course she loves the idea and will be disappointed if we can't do it! This January birthday is very, very hard to manage. Christmas was so hard with the baby and the January bday is always difficult- both in terms of time and planning and because we have no money. MIL's birthday is Monday, too! And she'll be in town so we have to be timely. Last year we told her Rowan was coming by her present, I might have told y'all- got two birthstone charms on one necklace, for her other grandchildren, and told her we'd owe her another come summer. So what to do, what to do...we could get her the birthstone charm for Rowan but then what else...? Dd is about to burst with excitement that they're coming and her birthday is coming and so on. I will be glad when it is passed, though I feel terrible saying it, and I can relax for a while!

So wish us luck with our efforts to pay a whole lot of money to get servals and panthers and porcupines to come to our house on ten days' notice!
post #145 of 454
I hate the strings attached thing. Just give it or don't, but a gift should be just that-a gift. What you do with it shouldn't matter. If she wants money in their bank account, she should go deposit it. And they do take a cut, but it's so worth it, imo. I like rolling coins, but I don't like it now that I have small children. It's an exercise in frustration and when do you have the time when they aren't around? Some ppl are so self-centered, they have a lot of trouble seeing outside their own life. 4 years of phonebooks?! Even that is excessive!

The peg perego is so worth the money, you don't have to justify it. I got mine marked down at BRU and it doesn't have a reversible handle but Ro loves it and Tain will even ride in it. I think before we got it we were forcing a big boy into a little stroller or one that was too reclined. This one has a cupholder and tray (something that is VERY handy for distracting him). I am SO not sorry we bought it.

I just made Tain some playdough and he loves it! Finally he's out of the fridge and isn't destroying food we need to eat, yet satisfying his desire to "cook". Right now it is a balloon on top of a matchbox car. oh, we need green balloon, not yellow.
post #146 of 454
Originally Posted by mattjule
I hate the strings attached thing. Just give it or don't, but a gift should be just that-a gift. What you do with it shouldn't matter. If she wants money in their bank account, she should go deposit it.
This is how my dh's grandma is. She is very well off and gives the girls generous monetary gifts but then will lecture my dh because the girls accounts are not in their names but in sub-accounts under our savings account. That's how our credit union does it. She also DEMANDS that it is to be used for college only and my dh use to get all worked up about it. A couple of years ago when things were really tight and we were having a hard time coming up w/ money for a class Lauren was signed up to do I made him take it from her account. THe way I see it if we use it for a class or something for the kids it is going towards her education. HEy even if we needed it to pay the bills I think it's an investment in their future because I'm staying home w/ them.

Oh and she has gone so far as to ask to see our bank statements. Um NO! Talk about controlling!
post #147 of 454
Originally Posted by 3girlsmommy
Oh and she has gone so far as to ask to see our bank statements. Um NO! Talk about controlling!
When DH & I first got married, we had my name added to his account. It had been his since he was a baby...MIL had opened it for him, so her name was on there, too. We were all going to have to go in together to have her name taken off, and it seemed like a big hassle, especially since she never looked at it anymore anyway... WRONG! She called up one day & let on that she knew what our bank balance was. DH & I abandoned the account & opened a new one. Then she made a depoit to the new account without our consent. DH went in & got a money order in her name for the same amount. She just wouldn't take a hint! When Roland was born, she asked for a photocopy of his birth certificate 'for Grandma in Denmark' With a bit of probing, she finally admitted she planned on opening a bank account for Roland, because it's better if kids don't know about their own savings, and it would be a good tax break for her. We told her we'd a;ready opened his bank account & would happily give her the # if she'd like, but she wants to be in control of the cash. I can't do anything about her trying to pull strings with us, but I'm not allowing her to do that to the kids if I can help it. DH is pretty good about ignoring the strings... she should know by now that she can't buy his obedience with cash. The strings are only relevant if you let them tug on them... DH doesn't (but I get the occasional twang of guilt, which is why I prefer not to accept cash in the first place...) His dad is totally NOT strings attached about it, at least.
post #148 of 454
Thread Starter 
Asks to see your bank statements?! Eeew. I feel offended when the bank wants to see them for a mortgage, and that is at least understandable!

I have, in desperation, turned to vacuuming to get Rowan to go to sleep. He fights it in any other way. At least this way I get a chore done though it hurts terribly after a while.

We managed to get a time for the wild animal show. It sounds like a really nice time and I know it is a good organization, non-profit, they treat the animals very, very well, etc. So though it is expensive and the party will still be at our house, it at least takes the pressure off having something for them to do other than mill about. Dd likes to open presents as the guests arrive and give them to her. I like it that way too; the giver gets more attention and it isn't some big extravaganza with everyone really wanting the birthday kid to get to what they brought. It also gives everyone something to do and focus on as people are arriving. Then we put the presents on the table and go on with the party. I plan to keep it simple; pizza after folks arrive, and I can get vegan wheat-free pizzas from whole foods for those who need that, and then the animal people will arrive and do their thing for an hour, and then we'll do cake, and then people will go home.

We haven't gotten baby gates yet, but I am going to get one to keep people out of the back of the house!

I have to decide what to do about my neighbor's children. She has six altogether. While I like the two older teens when they are being nice, they haven't been nice in a long while and I don't much like them lately. They also have a nasty habit of bringing the derelict teen druggie population of our town to anything they're invited to. However, we are having a panther among other things come to our house so I would feel churlish not inviting anyone who wants to come see it. Still, they have this other quality of being an energy sinkhole and I want this to remain my daughter's day, ie not so many grownups or kids who aren't her peers. This one family has managed to turn a small memorial day dinner at my house into a completely out-of-control event that was not much fun for anyone. These two girls throw into sharp focus how different they are from my other friends' teen girls. You'd hardly believe they are the same age. The others are sweet and good and responsible, and in terms of pop culture are probably sheltered, but seem much older in every other respect than my neighbor's girls. I think I will extend the invitation to the two kids closest in age to my daughter and not go into great detail. I feel guilty doing that but truth be told I just don't want the other girls and their entourage there. I hope they come through their teen drama soon because when "they're good, they're very very good, and when they're bad..." Also, I would really like the animal show to be the focus of the day and in order to do that we need to keep the group small. What do y'all think?
post #149 of 454
"Oh and she has gone so far as to ask to see our bank statements. Um NO! Talk about controlling!"

WHOAH! That woman has serious boundary issues, no question...

My in-laws give James $$ for college, but they don't tell us where to put it. I think it's OK for a giver to say "this is for college" and leave it at that.
post #150 of 454
Thread Starter 
My MIL has some kind of trust for my dd that is in her own name; at first that bothered me but it doesn't now. Actually the only reason it bothered me at all is because she is with Smith Barney and I don't like the companies they invest in. I would rather use a company like T Rowe Price or Calvert that has a history of investment in socially responsible funds. I also have a bunch of bonds her friends bought for dd when she was born. I guess those are for her to do with as she wishes when they mature. Dh used his to fund his trip to India at 21.
post #151 of 454
My mil has an account that was my dh's when he was a kid. She has never turned it over to him and he didn't even know about it until he went to the bank when he was in college to get a checking account. The person who set his checking account up for him told him about it and the $ amount and told him that he was not to tell his mom he knew the account existed, he did however ask his mom about it. We know there is still money in the account but we don't know how much. I always tell dh that it's his divorce fund because his mom has never been a big fan of me. There have been times in our married lives that we could have really used that money and he has asked her for help but she will only give him a loan that he must pay back. From my understanding the account is more or less controlled by his grandma. His mom let him take a loan from it to buy a car when we graduated from college but he was told that he could NOT tell grandma where the money came from because she would be mad that he was spending it on a car which I guess was seen as an unnecssary purchase. Wow I thought I had gotten over my frustration and resentment. Guess not, must work on that.
post #152 of 454
Liz, just my 2 cents, but I really think you shouldn't invite anyone you don't want to your DD's birthday party. You could always send someone over when the animal show is there to invite whoever is home, that would be neighborly without opening the door for more people than you really want.

Wow, I feel lucky none of my relatives pull that control crap with money because I'm not in a position to turn down the help and I so would not be able to tell them no thanks. (I also have to wonder what sort of repurcussions would there be for an account in one's name that one never reports to the IRS, etc.) Seems like it is not really a gift at all!?!?!
post #153 of 454
well, our computer monitor died the other day. I got up to use the bathroom, came back and the screen was blank. It's completely miserable.

I'm having an absolutely horrific time these past few days. Some highlights-- last night, Mike locked BeanBean in the van (joy of joys) and (of course) woke BooBah, who had *just* fallen asleep when he knocked on the window to tell me. I told him to take BeanBean grocery shopping with him so that I could get some laundry done, but of course that didn't happen. He did eventually take BeanBean, but BooBah was too upset to go back to sleep and *SCREAMED* bloody murder every time I started to get up.

BeanBean screamed so loudly that my ears have been ringing for the past three hours. Then he bit my boob when I tried to nurse him.

My younger niece greeted (sleeping) BooBah by putting her head right in front of her in the carseat and yelling "HI!!!" as if she was across a football field.

I'm so depressed and angry and I just can't take all the crap. Ah, the piece de resistance: Mike is at home right now, taking a nap.

Someone's crying upstairs, but because my ears are ringing, I can't tell who. Come to think of it, it may be the tv... I think I'm going to have to ask Mike to come home early tomorrow, I just can't take this crap anymore.
post #154 of 454
Rynna - I hope that things get better for you! Sounds like an awful week.

Tomorrow I start teaching a preschool science class that meets once a week. I'm pretty excited about it, and since I'll be gone from 12:30-4pm it happens to coincide with Killy's naptime. I don't think it will even disturb DH's work schedule too much.

I've jumped on the cleaning/decluttering bandwagon. I religiously did FlyLady.net for about a year a couple years ago, and I just have to get back into all those habits. I'm so much happier when the house is clean and ready for company at all times. Also, having more structure in my day helps me be better about working out regularly.

I can't believe that Killy isn't crawling yet - he's been trying for weeks and can roll and wiggle around whereever he wants. My mom said that his butt is too big for him to get it up in the air and crawl - I wonder if she's right... I heard someone else say that big babies crawl later. He's getting really frustrated that he can't do it, poor thing. Of course, since my cleaning/decluttering is my first foray into babyproofing I guess its a very good thing that he hasn't been crawling already!
post #155 of 454
Have any of the babies started on sippy cups?

Linda used a cup at 6 mos, but could hold a bottle at 4 mos. Andrea can't hold a bottle yet.
post #156 of 454
James scorns all fluid receptacles that are not boobs, and all liquids that are not boob juice. I keep trying to give him water from a sippy with his Cheerios; I'm sure he'll accept it eventually.
post #157 of 454
Oh, and Grease, your diaper stash is like porn for CDers. Why would you tantalize us with all these gorgeous dipes that aren't for sale?
post #158 of 454
Rynna ~ I feel for you mama. Tough times over here too. I am SO not recovered from our day yesterday....very little sleep last night...and now I hear her waking up already.

Sippy cups are very popular over here...as are regular cups...bottles with sippy lids. Anything that she can lift to her mouth herself...she loves. I don't think she consumes much water from them. Mainly just teethes on the cool sippy top...but it keeps her occupied for a good 10-15 minutes!

QoC ~ I'm participatingin the SAHM's getting organized thread in personal growth. Lots of good organizing/decluttering ideas there. I'm a flylady dropout. I felt like I needed to create a system just to organize all the darn e-mails she kept sending me. TOO much pressure. So now I'm chipping away at it using some of her ideas...but at my own pace.

Must go deal with fussy baby. Bye.
post #159 of 454
UGH! Sick tired baby! I'm so darn tired! I haven't been this tired ever. Lily has not slpet in 4 or 5 nights. Last night dh took her for a couple of hours and the night before I did. I'm not sure how much longer we can do this. I gave her some decongestant last night and it helped a little but not enough to let us get sleep. She has a yucky nose and when she lays down it all chokes her. It's even been choking her sitting up. I'll probably end up taking her to the doctor's, although I think all he is going to say is "yup she's got that cold that's going around" like they did when I took my oldest to urgent care. Then I woory that maybe my mommy radar is off because I'm so stinking tired. We really haven't slept well since before Christmas. All three of the girls have had this and or the stomach bug so sleeping has been wishful thinking. Oh how I long for just 5 straight hours of restful sleep.

Grease- Those photos make me so envious! Those longies are beautiful as are all of your diapers.

I'm a fly lady drop out too. : I still get her e-mails but I got so overwhellmed by them. I think if I wasn't already slightly overwhellmed I could have done better so maybe some day. I'll have to go check out the decluttering thread you guys are talking about. My house use to be so clean and then my middle dd was born.
post #160 of 454
Oh Sandi, hope your Lily is better soon. And you get to sleep soon! Rynna, hope things are better for you today. Erin, you too. And anybody else that's having a hard time, myself included, hope today is an excellent day.

I was a mean angry mommy yesterday. I'm just so sick of being cried at all day. If it's not Isabel, it's Flora. We started back with dance class yesterday afternoon. Which Isabel really loves. But she's been regressing and needing a nap some afternoons. She's at that stage where sometimes she needs it and sometimes she doesn't and you just don't know how the afternoon is going to be. So yesterday, trying to get her home from school, nurse Flora down for her nap (which is a 45 minute nurse-a-thon every freaking time), get Isabel a snack, get Isabel in her dance clothes, get kids in the car, all the while Isabel is not cooperating, being whiney, etc. And Flora is being Flora. Crying every second she's not being held. I just snapped. Isabel was laying on my lap instead of sitting on my lap so I could brush her hair and I just got sick of telling her to sit up so I just stood up. And she plunked onto the ground and hit her head. And instead of feeling bad, I was SO MAD! I just stormed off to the bathroom and shut myself in and counted to 10. But of course big kids can CHASE YOU DOWN. Anyway, I calmed down, comforted her...she was more scared than hurt I think. But I felt like sh*t. I feel like sh*t. She's back to pushing my buttons the past couple of days. We'd been doing so well. But now I've got these buttons that just scream, "hey push this one and watch momma freak out". Got to get it under control. Sometimes being at home with kids, raising kids is just SO HARD. Add to that the stressers of not enough money to pay the bills, trying to juggle a second priority but very needed extra job, and everyday life and it seems impossible. I need some time to center myself again. I guess writing it all out is one way to start getting centered. Thanks Mommas.

Flora is crying. Got to go.
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