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June 2004 January thread!! - Page 4

post #61 of 454
Julie-sorry about that response too (from the thread in toddlers). I feel that it is so hard b/c while we all may have certain ideals, most people on these threads don't really know us or what circumstances change our initial plan.

Rynna-While I think my dh is wonderful and puts all the effort he can into being a great spouse and father, I feel like he sometimes just doesn't get the break thing either. I think our dhs mean no harm. Sometimes when we are out at a friends home or hosting a get together I inevitably end up doing all the parent duties, while my dh just turns off the daddy role like nothing. when I point it out to him, he recognizes it and then says something like "Well, they always want you more" and I want to respond with "maybe that's b/c they can ALWAYS count on me to be there". I love my dh, don't get me wrong, but I get so annoyed when he can "turn off" daddy mode and when he refers to his time alone with the dc as "babysitting" as oppose to it just being one of the perks of parenting . He is learning not to do that and what it implies, but he still has a long road ahead of him.

I also consider crawling to be hands and knees. Gavin actually does that. So weird b/c Logan did the centipede thing at a much older age and I apparently scooted backwards as a child.
post #62 of 454
Julie, a huge percentage of the women in that forum are zealots. Zealots have their uses, esp. when it comes to the beleagured practice of breastfeeding, but it's definitely not the right place to go for reassurance of what you know in your heart to be true - that nursing Tain is not to best choice for your family. you deserve boobs that don't hurt. Ro deserves to nurse without getting an "ouch" vibe off of you bc Tain has been hanging of your nipples like a remora. In a preindustrial society, Tain would have been weaned when Ro came along anyhow. 'Nuff said.

My bfing is going great, but I am experiencing a similar trauma WRT the family bed. It stopped working for James about a month ago. He sleeps much more soundly and safely in his crib. But from the way some people react to that news, you'd think I was chaining him up in the backyard every night.
post #63 of 454
Oh, and WRT daddies, my husband is Superdad when other people are around to see it. :LOL I've decided just to be glad that he's modeling good behavior for our friends who are expecting babies. But he can be a real baby-avoider in the privacy of our home. I think this will change a lot as James gets older, though.
post #64 of 454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smithie
Oh, and WRT daddies, my husband is Superdad when other people are around to see it. :LOL I've decided just to be glad that he's modeling good behavior for our friends who are expecting babies. But he can be a real baby-avoider in the privacy of our home. I think this will change a lot as James gets older, though.
Thats Kevin, too.

Julie, you are doing a great job. I think it's better to have a mostly happy non-nursing relationship with your toddler, than a mostly strained nursing one. Everyone has to choose their own way & do whats right for them. Roland & I spend alot of time talking about 'boy food'. He isn't interested in nursing, but he LOVES telling Caitlin she can't have food, because she's just a baby!! Especially when it's a treat! :LOL

I think I might be a bit of a zealot... I'm *so* frustrated with my sister. I don't particularly care if she makes the same choices as I did in pregancy/ child birth (infact, I expect that she'd make very different ones) BUT I feel like screaming "Find the ON switch for that brain of yours & do some bloody RESEARCH!!!!!" She's not taking any responsibility for her & her babies' health, aside from making doctors appointments! Its the most aggravating thing ever!! :

It's been snowing here all day. Roland is itching to go out, but Caitlins napping at this moment. I think when we do go out, I'll bring the highchair for Caitlin to sit in & watch us play, because I want to run around with Roland & do non-sling friendly activities!! I wonder if she'll fit in the highchair when she's all bundled up... ? I guess I'll find out!
post #65 of 454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smithie
Oh, and WRT daddies, my husband is Superdad when other people are around to see it. :LOL I've decided just to be glad that he's modeling good behavior for our friends who are expecting babies. But he can be a real baby-avoider in the privacy of our home. I think this will change a lot as James gets older, though.
oh yeah. same here. i said something to my mil about it and she laughed...said her dh was the same way.

my new strategy is to invite more people over so he;ll show off for them!
post #66 of 454
Thread Starter 
Well, HBH, I am definitely committed to natural birth, breastfeeding, etc. But I also believe that women have the right to choose whatever they want to do. I'm with you, when people just accept blindly it drives me up the wall. I am a zealot in terms of wanting everyone to have accurate information. While it doesn't seem ok to say this a lot on mdc, "zealots" here disseminate plenty of misinformation themselves in an effort to get others to make the same choices (I am of course not referring to anyone present on this thread). My sister-in-law stopped nursing because she went on antidepressants and was told by her doc she had to wean. That was bad information, and she should have researched it, but the truth was she never loved breastfeeding and was so depressed and exhausted it was probably a relief to be given permission to stop nursing. So she should have had the confidence in herself to decide breastfeeding, while best, wasn't for her, and it should have been ok for her to wean without needing an "excuse." Of course the problem is good info is *not* getting out there and women are making decisions based on poor or biased information. Regardless of the resulting decision, bad info is bad info.

I was following the UC thread for some time but felt that anything short of blanket agreement was not considered "supportive" enough to be welcome there. Yet I really enjoy the discussion and do believe UC should be a valid choice. But I don't think all birth complications are a result of professional presence, as some there do. I considered UC, but I really think if I had not had my mw, I would have gone to the hospital and had a c/birth, or something worse would have happened at home.

I don't see why elective c/birthing, bottlefeeding and disposable diaper using women can't fit under the umbrella of "natural family living." Every choice should be tolerated and respected, because we can't know all of a person's biography that contributes to the choices they make, or when, in the future, we might have to eat crow by making a choice we once scorned. I have a friend who uses sposies because she feels it's a better environmental choice in her area, and she is also the only person I have ever met IRL who follows the disposal instructions and puts the feces in the toilet.

Anyway I am getting OT here. Just wanted to give Julie some support!!

My guy is in terrible pain from his teeth, which are both coming through faster than I thought possible. He has bitten me a few times but it is usually scarier than it is painful. His nights have been difficult, and I am trying to get up, nurse or carry him, and put him back in his crib. Between a pillowtop mattress, really high off the ground, and dh in the bed while FIL is here, I don't sleep when Rowan is in bed with us. I am afraid one of us while squash him or smother him (we each have a big puffy comforter and many pillows) or he will fall out. Also he manages to get me moving closer to the edge of the bed. FIL *and* dh leave tomorrow, ahhhhhh. I intend to put some routine-inducing methods inspired by NCSS into place while I have total control over my house.

I am getting kind of concerned about my anxiety. I worry a lot about Rowan and I check on him many times during the night. I think I am contributing to his frequent waking by my checking on him and worrying about him. I might try to get some exercise, and get out of the house more, so that I will find it easier to relax. I am so tired at this point it is a huge effort to be good to anyone other than the baby.

My daughter cut all her hair off! We all had hair appointments yesterday and she picked some style on Sharon Stone from a mag and has a short haircut-not a bob, either, which would have been easier for me to handle. She has such pretty hair I was a bit sad, and hope she grows it back soon, but she is so delighted. It is interesting how much it takes to get used to a drastic change in a loved one's appearance. She also got glasses the other day and so far prefers them to the contacts, so she just looks completely different and it's like, "who is this person?" I find I actually get kind of upset about her hair when I am away from her for a while and wish I could have prevented it, but then I see her and it's ok. I think the hair and the glasses in just a few days is too much for me all at once. Everyone says she looks great but people are also pretty shocked. We never even trimmed her hair until she was past 6 years old! She looks taller and a lot older.

I have tried using seventh generation sposies at night and I must be doing something wrong, because the pee has missed the diaper entirely more than once. But if I put them on tighter the top seems to form a very tight band around him. I try to point his penis down, too, but I never have seen how that would work for long becuase it just shrinks and grows and does whatever it wants, like all others of its kind. Anyone have any advice about sposies at night? I am just trying to get him into the habit of sleeping longer, because mostly he is getting used to a very wet diaper by morning and it doesn't seem to bother him much. So I thought I'd give them a try while using NCSS and yet they are so far making things worse.....?
post #67 of 454
Julie, I don't have anything new to say but it sure sounds like you made the right decision for your family regarding Tain's nursing.

I can be so judgemental about NFL-type-stuff myself. It's rather ironic because I ended up with an epidural during R's birth and I would so totally smack anyone who dared to tell me I could have skipped it. I so could have not had the epidural, but I was very, very well informed and chose it. It's like the ideal takes away the choice which is one of the whole things that is so empowering about the NFL ideals in the first place. I agree completely an informed choice is different than an uninformed choice of the same thing.

Liz, are you using the mediums? Could he need larges? The 7th Gen diapes seem narrow to me. We're using sposies at night too right now because R was eating a ton at night, but now she seems to be on the other side of that. I think I may get a potty for her soon because I'm drawn a bit to the EC stuff and want to play around with it. I hate the idea of her in a wet diaper all night, but just need the sleep so badly...
post #68 of 454
Argh! I'm in hell right now!

There's a terrible ice storm here. Our power went out at 8pm on Tuesday night, came back on at midnight, then went back out at 4am Wednesday morning and has been out ever since. Its been terrible because last night it got down to 4 degrees outside! We all lived in our home office for the night (it has a fireplace) and slept on the floor. Killy was a real trooper and did great the whole time... in fact, he said "Mama" for the first time! I totally didn't believe it at first, but he said it twice while I was peeling an orange on the other side of the room and he wanted to be picked up. DH and my sister both had to convince me that he really said it!

I hope everyone else is having a better week than me!
post #69 of 454
I know what you all mean, I really do. My sister is havign a hospital birth, and I think thats the best place for her to be, given her comfort level with & understanding of her body. My big issue with her is that she won't make an appointment with a midwife, just to see if one might work for her (they do hospital births here) She doesn't have a doctor after 20 weeks, she wants a female, so shes probably going to go to some random GP. I know she'll be alright... I just wish the best for her. Even my mom, who referred to the midwives as witch doctors for most of my pregnancy agrees that the level of care I received fromthe MWs is unparralleled by doctors, at least in our area. I just don't think you can make an educated decision without going to a few sources, thats all. I'd stand behind her in an elective c sect, or a highly medicated hospital birth, or a UC ( I'm a middle of the road kinda girl, I have personal issues with UC, too!) if she'd sone some research, & knew the risks as well as the benefits of what she's choosing. She's being a blind follower.... thats the ONE thing I don't think I can support. Im done now.
post #70 of 454

Snowy Day!

Caitlin & I:
http://www3.telus.net/u2slow/kids/ja...snow%20002.jpg
http://www3.telus.net/u2slow/kids/ja...snow%20007.jpg

Snow Angel:
http://www3.telus.net/u2slow/kids/ja...snow%20019.jpg

The ONE picture of about 12 of Roland where he didn't cover his face with his hands or close his eyes!! :LOL :
http://www3.telus.net/u2slow/kids/ja...snow%20023.jpg
... the only reason he co-operated was because he wanted me to put that truck together for him.

He really didn't want his picture taken today:
http://www3.telus.net/u2slow/kids/ja...snow%20003.jpg
http://www3.telus.net/u2slow/kids/ja...snow%20005.jpg

... I got him in the head a couple of times with snowballs! Thats a good tension reliever! The only way I could get him inside was to tell him he could bring some snow with him. He scooped up two of the biggest handfuls he could!!

We had fun. I brought Caitlins highchair out & piled snow on the tray for her to play with & I think she was a bit scared of it at first. Roland loved it, of course... there isn't a square inch of snow in the backyard that doesn't have a footprint in it, I think! Kevin came home early, because they closed the school down, and it might be closed tomorow.
post #71 of 454
Liz, I also had some pee leakage and switched from medium to larges. And I just ahead and make that waistband tight - he doesn't have a mark when I take off the dipe, so I figure it's OK.

Speaking of dipe sizes, I think we are about to switch into the large FBs. He's right on the edge - neither size is ideal at the moment.

Wow, QoC, my baby only says "da-da!" Count yourself lucky!
post #72 of 454
Liz, I also had some pee leakage and switched from medium to larges. And I just ahead and make that waistband tight - he doesn't have a mark when I take off the dipe, so I figure it's OK.

Speaking of dipe sizes, I think we are about to switch into the large FBs. He's right on the edge - neither size is ideal at the moment.

Wow, QoC, my baby only says "da-da!" Count yourself lucky!

New Year's Eve: http://www.ofoto.com/I.jsp?c=ziabfct...h&x=0&y=r8j6ih
post #73 of 454
I wish I could give all of you a IRL hug! Thank you so much, you have no idea how much it helps to have your support.

Smithie-your pics are so fun! That is awesome that you know so many ppl that have/will have babies. I grew up with tons of kids my age, it makes me sad that my kids don't have that.

hbh-every time I see Caitlin, her skin looks better. That must be such a relief! What finally worked? Tain is the exact same way about pics-hands in front of his face, etc. That is why we don't do family pics right now. The one I got of him for Christmas was a total miracle.

My dh is pretty much superdad all the time. It's pretty nice.

Ro has been nursing so much at night. I think he is just growing. It is amazing how tired you can feel, even if you have been in bed for 8-9 hours, if you are waking every 1.5 hours. OTOH, he's pretty much sucking the fat right off me, so I guess that is a good thing. It's times like these, where I am feeling sorry for myself, that I realize I haven't had a solid night of sleep in almost three years. But I only have about 2 years to go (hopefully) and the boys will transfer into their own bed and I can sleep again. In the broad expanse of my life that isn't so bad. Dh and I thought, in our naivety, that we would transfer Tain to his own bed when he turned 2. HA! Depending on our nighttime nursing situation, though, I think Ro would go by then. Especially since we plan to move them together so no one has to sleep alone.

I am feeling better about the nursing thing. I think he will be okay. Ultimately, whether he is okay or whether he is scarred for life is his choice at this point. There is nothing I can do to change it. This is one of those things I tell my mom all the time about my siblings that emotionally blackmail her and now I guess I need to live what I preach.

Ro is becoming a very attached baby. He'll even deal with the sling if it means he doesn't have to be out of someone's arms. I was carrying him around yesterday and realized that I have it pretty good-Tain was like that from birth. And then I noticed how wimpy my arms were. :LOL

I have yet to find a sposie he doesn't leak out of at night. He is just one of those boys that can find the tiniest opening in a sposie. I use fb's at night and they work much better. double stuffed, they can get soaked and don't feel that wet in the morning. My thoery on the sposies is that he pees with such force that they just can't absorb it fast enough to prevent leaking. But hemp absorbs instantly, no matter how fast or how much. Anyway, that works for me. Besides, if you have to change their clothes and bedding and diaper, that is a lot more disruptive than feeling wet in the morning.

I should get going. thanks again for everything. I don't know what I would do without all of you to lean on sometimes.
post #74 of 454
Wow, there's a lot of good stuff on this thread today.

Superdad-- well, we never have company, so this doesn't happen.

The UC thread here isn't terribly accepting of people who fall outside their own realm; cBirth was more accepting, but that's gone now. Many people here assume all sorts of things about my c-section and have surmised all sorts of reasons for BooBah's decelerations right before birth, and for why her cord prolapsed. The funny thing is, nearly all of them are based on the idea that I was in labor or at least having contractions before she was born, and I wasn't (which they'd know, if they'd read the story before they commented). But I digress-- while I definately consider myself a breastfeeding advocate, I also like to think of myself as a human being who is aware of other human beings. That, and my overwhelming sense of logic and balance precludes zealousy for me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LizD
I try to point his penis down, too, but I never have seen how that would work for long becuase it just shrinks and grows and does whatever it wants, like all others of its kind.
: :LOL This just had me rolling. I can remember doing that with BeanBean, too, until Mike told me that it's probably more comfortable for him to point it up. :LOL I'm with everyone else-- try sizing up. And to be safe, put some wool on him to catch leaks.

As soon as I find my double points (they've mysteriously disappeared ) I'm going to finish making the world's yummiest soaker, which I started for Miss BooBah. Over the summer, I bought some yarn on sale at AC Moore-- 45% merino wool, 6% cashmere and something else. It's super soft, and if it takes lanolin, we'll definately have a winner. I'm just glad I cast it on so big (a medium) because it's starting to look like by the time I find my double points, she'll be that big.

QoC-- It's hard to believe it when they start talking, especially when they're so little! But when other people hear it, and you see the looks on their faces, you've got to believe it. I felt really silly when I thought that BeanBean said his name the first time, but then he did it for my mom and sister and niece and best friend and for Mike in the same day. They all looked at him like and I figured that I wasn't losing my mind, he really was talking so I wrote it down in his baby book. Crazy stuff! :LOL Especially when they understand what they're talking about, and can indicate that to you.

Large Fuzzi Bunz-- I've never actually seen one IRL. :LOL BeanBean trained out of a petite, and this week Mike put a medium on him at one point and it fit him, stuffed with hemp soakers instead of a premium prefold, but even so.
post #75 of 454
He trained out of a petite toddler, or out of an actual small FB?

Because the latter is just freaking amazing. You go, BeanBean!
post #76 of 454
Quote:
Originally Posted by eilonwy
Large Fuzzi Bunz-- I've never actually seen one IRL. :LOL BeanBean trained out of a petite, and this week Mike put a medium on him at one point and it fit him, stuffed with hemp soakers instead of a premium prefold, but even so.
MAddie moved into larges in September and started using the potty November 8th. She actuall could have still fit into mediums but they were getting a little snug and she was showing no signs of wanting to use the potty. I have 8 larges that are in great shape that maybe Lily will use. BTW Maddie was in small fb until she was 18 months old and needed more stuffing in her dipes. Lily still fits into small and probably will for a while. She has a newborn fleece stancinator that fits perfectly fit now! My girls have all had a low rise and smallish thighs. Both really help extend the life of a diaper.

I met a couple of mdc mom's this morning. We met at the airport playground. THey were so nice! It was kinda cool to meet them irl!
post #77 of 454
Quote:
Originally Posted by mattjule
hbh-every time I see Caitlin, her skin looks better. That must be such a relief! What finally worked? Tain is the exact same way about pics-hands in front of his face, etc. That is why we don't do family pics right now. The one I got of him for Christmas was a total miracle.
It is!!! She only needs socks on her hands when she's tired or having nudie time now, and she has alot more fun playing when she can grab things. I don't think the rash is going to go completely away, there'll always be a patch to treat... at least until we can turn the furnace off. Kevins skin always gets better in the summer & I'm sure hers will, too.

Roland is playing with his play food & he gave Caitlin a cup. Shes pretending to drink out of it!!!! :LOL I think it's been 3 days since Caitlin had avocado (first food she actually ate a teensy smudge of!) So today, we might try some banana.

Kevins school was cancelled today because of the snow. It's a good thing, too, because I'd only gotten 2 hours of sleep!! When he told me that, I went back to bed & got 2 more! He's at the mall, getting stuff for Rolands birthday. He took the bus... it wouldn't be wise to drive in this in our 2 wheel drive truck with bald tires.... :LOL
post #78 of 454
Quote:
cBirth was more accepting, but that's gone now.
Where did it go?

(I'm kind of scared to ask this...I hope it wasn't deemed inappropriate for NFL or anything like that. : )
post #79 of 454
Quote:
I considered UC, but I really think if I had not had my mw, I would have gone to the hospital and had a c/birth, or something worse would have happened at home.
Same here. I thought UC was ideal but if not for my midwife's constant reassurance that everything was fine, I would have gone to the hospital and most likely been sectioned, because I was so sure something was wrong.

It looks like we are going to have to start supplementing with formula. We bought a can of Horizon's organic formula (over $17! ) and haven't used it yet, but most likely will need it this weekend. School started back up and I'm out of the house so much, and can barely keep up with the pumping. I can usually only pump 2-4 oz at a time. So I can pump a little in the morning, and she will eat it when I'm in class, then I come home and feed her and then off to class again, come home and feed. Luckily she is starting to eat cereal so maybe the formula won't be needed that often. I'm afraid of what all the oils will do to her belly, but maybe it won't be that bad.
post #80 of 454
Grease, I've always wondered how in the heck mamas keep up with the pumping. I've wondered if I would actually keep up with bfing if I had to pump all the time. Maybe you won't have to use much formula. Just don't beat yourself up about it.

Ds had his 6 month dr. visit today. We did it a little late because we wanted to wait until after the holidays. He's a big little guy. 22lbs, 28 inches long, and his head is 18 1/2 inches.

I seriously need to get to work on ds's baby book. Do any of you do baby books? Dd's is great, everything is filled in. I seem to have a hard time finding time to keep up with ds's. Maybe I'll stay up late tonight and do it.
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