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childcare problems!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

post #1 of 22
9/7/02 at 4:18pm
Thread Starter 
My worst nightmare just came true....dd's daycare, she's been there for a little over a month...turns out, it may be forced to shut down and criminal charges could follow...
Until 6mts ago, we never needed any childcare, dh and I worked it so that one of us was always home. We now have two new jobs, and it's been a nightmare for us. The first place I enrolled Soleil into was Montessori...which, did not work out, as soleil was "expelled" within 20 mins,,,,a whole other story.
The second, was a YMCA daycare, which was fine, but started to realize how bored dd was, as they were either in the room or outside, nothing new, no outings, nothing to quench her curiousity and sense of adventure!
So, I put her in a daycare, around the corner from our house, who had activities planned every day for the preschooler group. Dh knew the owner's husband, so we got in...
NOw, well, now, I do not want to send Soleil there EVER AGAIN!!!
It breaks my heart, I sooo want Soleil to be with someone like me, if I can't be there! SOmeone who believes in gentle discipline, who believes in creativity and who will be stimulated and in love with my daughter...
HOW DO I DO THIS!!??
I am not going to another daycare, I'm going to try to find someone to come to my home...
I'm so discouraged, and soooooooooo sad...If I weren't so in debt...but then, I'm letting my daughter pay for my debts?
Oh, I'm sooooo saaaaaaaaaaaad!
Feeling like the worst mama!

Mamasoleil
post #2 of 22
9/7/02 at 6:40pm
Thread Starter 
lots of lurkers, no posters!
Well, I guess you're all SAHM and cannot relate.
That's okay, I wish i was one too.

Peace,

Mamasoleil
post #3 of 22
9/7/02 at 9:43pm
I hear you, I do. I had a wonderful job with on-site day care that was ruined for me by the staff that were assigned to dd's room. This particular daycare had staff follow the children all the way from infancy through pre-school, so there was no escape. I took a leave of absence, found another day care, but in the end, I couldn't leave her again, our experience had been that bad. So I quit my job, but we are in horrible debt. Horrible debt. When dd gets a little older, I may try some evening/weekend work, but right now, she needs me full time to recover what we can of what we lost. I really have no advice, we aren't looking for child care again. Maybe a nanny from overseas? I just wanted you to know someone was listening and feeling for you.
post #4 of 22
9/7/02 at 9:53pm
hope you find a resolution to the issue soon.
Maybe you could see if there are any la leche or nurture by nature moms in the area that want to babysit.
NNN is a national org for ap moms/dads
oops just noticed your from Canada....they may have something like NNN too.
post #5 of 22
9/7/02 at 10:38pm
I don't know how it is in Canada, but in my state there is a "daycare find" service. My good friend ran an AP daycare out of her home, and was listed with this service so that prospective parents could find her through them. She got a lot of clients that way. Do you have a similar public service you could check?

It really sounds like your situation is terrifying and upsetting! Why is the daycare under criminal investigation?

Can your dd go to the Y program temporarily while you check around for something else?

I wish you the best!
I do.
post #6 of 22
9/7/02 at 10:38pm
I haven't been in your position, but I want to say how sorry I feel! That must be so difficult!

Could things add up if you stayed home with her during the day (thus not paying for daycare) and got a part-time job for evenings and/or weekends? Could you maybe do babysitting or daycare yourself?

I know these things are never so easy.

I wish you luck!
post #7 of 22
9/7/02 at 11:10pm
Hi Mamasoleil,

So sorry to hear about your childcare trouble. I'm here to tell you not to give up hope; you have lots of options for finding quality childcare.

I found a babysitter through a notice on the bulletin board at the children's museum where I go with DS. Even if you don't have a children's museum, you may be able to find a sitter through the bulletin boards or word-of-mouth networks at other child-friendly places. Try the library, the health practicioner's office, the food co-op, anything that seems warm and friendly.

You may also wish to call a local college or university and see if they know of students who would like to do part time child care. Often education majors or child development majors want or need some childcare experience. They are people who are preparing to spend their lives in child-centered careers, so most of the time they are warm and caring individuals who understand children.

Good luck.
post #8 of 22
9/8/02 at 5:05pm
((mamasoleil)) Just wanted to let you know that you are a *wonderful* mother and not alone! I am currently looking for part time day care, and can to relate to how hard to is to find the right fit. I keep wondering...'Is it really worth it?!' Almost half my income will go to child care and transportation to my job! I'd love to find another family to do a child care exchange with us. Is that an option for you, or is your job full time? Hang in there
post #9 of 22
9/9/02 at 8:11am
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for your words of support, sympathy, and advice.
I have asked my sister, who runs her own business, if we could work something out between us, where I can care for her daughter (1 yr) when I'm not working, and vice versa, she doesn't seem too enthousiastic about this...
I'm not sure what else to do, I've thought about an overseas nanny, but at this point, we don't really have the room. I wonder though, how to go about looking into that possibility?
I've got everymember of my fam, helping me until I find someone.
I don't want to settle out of urgency....
Dh is so upset. I'm the one who makes more money out of the two, dh pretty much stayed home for the last 8 mts, but we need to catch up. He will most likely be laid off after x-mas until the spring...I'm just so stressed, and not feeling overly creative to solve this problem.
Thanks for listening,

Mamasoleil
post #10 of 22
9/9/02 at 8:36am
I've been there, really. Are you religious? I am not very religious but have a forgiving God! So when I really need something, I pray.

Go downtown, look at all the bulliten boards, ask around at the library, the grocery, the Post Office...write your name and number and child's age down on index cards and pass them out.

I think you will find exactly what you want.

I did. My son (who is now 12) ended up in the most caring and appropriate home daycare (not registered with the state, this is anyways not an indication of 'goodness') and he stayed there for several years until he went to full-day Kindergarten/1st grade with daycare on either end on-site. I used to call his provider 'Saint Barbara of the Morning Coffee'.

Sarah
post #11 of 22
9/10/02 at 8:06am
Thread Starter 
Well,

The hunt starts tomorrow!I"ve been working days since the sh*t hit the fan, so...tomorrow, I start looking for that special person....
I hope to find someone fairly soon, but I'm covered for next week, so I don't need to pick someone out of 'desperation', which, makes me feel soo much better.!

Thx for all your advice, and support. Truly Sarah, I am going to follow your idea, I love the idea of index cards!!!!!!
She or he? will find their way into our lives!

Peace,

Mamasoleil
post #12 of 22
9/15/02 at 4:47pm
So it's been a week... how's it going?? any luck?? I hope this situation works out for you! I am very fortunate that for Hannah's first year, DH worked nites while I worked days. When she became too active for his schedule, we did a bit of out-of-the-house daycare (half days, four days/week) ~ it ended up a nightmare and luckily coincided with DH dx w/cancer so he was home recovering with her. By the time DS came along, I had arranged care with a mom I met at LLL, who liked hanging out with my kids *anyway* and didn't mind getting paid for the opportunity Are there any SAHM you play with regularly who may be interested in taking care of her for you?? Let is know how you worked this out :better
post #13 of 22
9/15/02 at 6:33pm
Thread Starter 
Hahamommy:

thanks for checking in on me. I have not found anyone yet, but have to admit, haven't really looked overly hard, I just don't know where to look. I only have one sahm friend, but she's a smoker, and that just turns me off...not so much that she smokes, but that she does so in her house...
I have a lead, my friend met this lady at kindermusic, she was a nanny for these twins, and my friend loved her, then she became available, and my friend was going to use her, but ended up sending her daughter to montessori. So, she's trying to find her number for me, hopefully she'll find it. My mom is taking dd on a short 'holiday' this week, so I'm going to try to find someone this week...
It's really quite discouraging, ya know?

Peace,
Mamasoleil
post #14 of 22
9/18/02 at 9:21am
Thread Starter 
Well, I've got some good leads. There is one woman, who was a SAHM to all her kids, then proceeded to care for other people's children. It is sooo obvious that she loves kids, and she is really sweet. We share a lot of the same philosophies, as far as discipline...but, the only thing that concerns me, is she is not such a good speller...
I explained to her that I was planning on homeschooling Soleil, and that I need someone long term...although, I forgot to mention that I'm ttc, but anyway..she's excited about that, and agreed to go over what Soleil was learning and things...
I just can't get around the spelling issue....
Any words of wisdom...give me a reality check here...am I being tooo picky?

Mamasoleil
post #15 of 22
9/18/02 at 9:41am
Ummm, I'm not sure what being a poor speller indicates to you? Are you afraid she is ill-educated?

I'm a very poor speller, in spite of the fact that I graduated from college Suma Cum Laude when I was 20, and I believe I am a loving and thoughtful parent. I'd hate to be judged by my spelling!

Are there other things that give you a bad feeling?

I'm glad you have some leads! I've been thinking about it. I think if another AP mama in my area asked me to watch her child, I would. Too bad I live so far away from you!
post #16 of 22
9/18/02 at 9:57am
Thread Starter 
Oh mamaduck! I don't know what poor spelling indicates to me! I'm just so scared to make the wrong decision, that I am nit-picking at everything!!
I wish I could find an AP parent to care for Soleil!!!!!! I also wish you were closer!
I just spoke to another woman, who was recommended to me by a co-worker who works a different shift. This woman has been caring for my co-worker's son since he was 18 mts, he is now 3.
So, I am going to meet with her in the morning. She has 3 girls of her own.

This is by far a difficult time for me, I wish I could just KNOW!!
NO, I wish I could STAY HOME!

Always,

Mamasoleil
post #17 of 22
9/18/02 at 12:33pm
Mama soliel...

THis sounds so hard... I'm very thanful that we haven't needed to do it.. (yet)

As far as the spelling goes... I am not the worlds best speller either... If she is working on word with your child as long as you have them written out for her correctly there shouldn't be any problem. If you really feel comfortable with the woman i would use her... Of course i would also check your other leads as well to make sure you feel the MOST comfortable with her...

That's all i have to add...

BEst of LUck and Warm Squishy Feelings

Dyan
post #18 of 22
9/18/02 at 1:12pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks pinky,

I always enjoy your supportive words!
Soleil and I will be busy tomorrow! Meeting 3, the grandmother (who can't spell ), and two others.

I will keep you all posted, okay?

PEace,,

Mamasoleil
post #19 of 22
9/18/02 at 3:48pm
Oh, but she WILL be a good speller once she starts helping you with your homeschooling! Probably it has just never been a priority for her. I'm not very good with using sandpaper or standing on my head! Practice makes perfect. I'll bet she's just been preoccupied with other stuff. Can she read? That would seem more of a problem if she couldn't read very well.

Sarah
post #20 of 22
9/18/02 at 4:07pm
Thread Starter 
Very true Sarah...she has a felt board set up, and she cut up all the letters of the alphabet, and numbers, and she loves teaching kids! She is really sweet, and the more I think of her, the more I'm leaning towards her. I am going to keep the other appointments though, and then bring dd to meet the grandmother...can't wait to see if they connect!

Mamasoleil
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