how can my 16 m.o lead weaning if i have become pregnant?

[goldrose]

i dont think i have the physical strenth to tandem nurse, but my 16 m.o. is still nursing strong! what should i do???!
thanks

[callmemama]

My biggest concern would be with my baby weaning at 16 months, so its great that yours is still going strong! I'm not sure how your physical strength is in jeopardy (I know the 1st trimester is especially tiring), but make it a point to eat well, drink plenty of water and take care of yourself so you can take care of your little ones. Good luck!

[stafl]

I'm not sure I understand the OP either. You don't have to hold both children on your lap and nurse them at the same time! I have only done that twice, ever, and that was only because they were both crying and upset and nursing them was the only thing I could think of to do about it.

As far as how he can lead weaning.... uh, same as a kid whose mother isn't pregnant. If he isn't ready to wean, and you don't do anything to encourage premature weaning, he will continue to nurse through your pregnancy (and beyond). If he does wean himself, maybe he just didn't need to nurse anymore. Either way, you can pat yourself on the back for a job well done!

[UrbanPlanter]

Are you just pregnant? if so, you have a good nine months until you would tandem, and by then your 16 mo would probably have much different nursing habits. And, he'd be old enough to hopefully understand that the baby comes first.

If you are not pregnant yet, your fertility might still be suppressed by his frequent nursing. I wasn't fertile again until my ds turned two, but every mom is different.

Tandeming is very natural, and not so hard, from what I've heard. I know there are lots of moms here who can help you with this. Good luck!

[goldrose]

thanks all -ts not that my physical health is in jeapordy from tandem nursing, but i have insomnia issues so dont always get the rest that i should.
besiides, how can i possibly nurse two all night long??? eeek!

[foreverinbluejeans]

If your 16 month old is still nursing strong it will difficult for him if you get pregnant. It will be difficult for you because you will have the exhaustion of mothering a toddler and being pregnant. It doesn't sound like you are pregnant yet. The optimal child spacing may be somewhere between 3 and 4 years for the child and for the mother.

If your 16 month old does wean, you may have even more problems at night. Now you can nurse to sleep. If you don't have that anymore, what will you do?

[TiredX2]

I think some clarification would help with advice.

Are you pregnant?
Is child led weaning your goal?
If not, what is your nursing goal?
What is your current nursing situation (how often, etc...)?
Insomnia?
Any other medical concerns?
Do you co-sleep?
...?

If you are pg, CONGRATS!!!

Kay

[mom2threenurslings]

Kay asked some great questions! I can't wait to hear the answers.

I've tandem and triandem nursed. I have insomnia. With all the prolactin and oxytocin in my system from tandem nursing kids to sleep, I found it hard NOT to fall asleep while nursing kids to sleep! :LOL

It sounds like you're extremely worried about tandem nursing through the night. If you just found out you're pregnant, you have at least 7 months before baby arrives. You'd be amazed how different a 22/23 month old's nursing patterns can be than a 16 month old's! Many moms who nurse through pregnancy find that because of a decrease in supply and the return of colostrum toward the end of the pregnancy, that their nursling nurses less toward the end of the pregnancy ... and while they may increase their nursing frequency after baby is born, many moms find that nursing frequency tends to be increased during the day (when baby is nursing and presents many suggestions that they might want to nurse too!) and not so much during the night.

Many of the fears we have while pregnant and nursing aren't nearly as bad as when we actually have a baby and a toddler. (When tandem nursing and pregnant, I was in a panic as to how I was going to nurse three children to sleep...by myself, as my dh worked nights. It worked out very well and was one of my favorite parts of the day!)

If you are pregnant...CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS!!!

[goldrose]

hi all thanks for your help, advice, concern....

I am 99.9% pg.
Child let weaning is not a 'goal' for me, I just didn't plan anything else, and don't know how to "force" wean. If I were not pregnant, this would not be an issue, I would keep nursing without even thinking about this. I have no problem nursing as long as my dd wants to.
I became pg 4.5 months after my first dd was born. By 6 months my supply was not enough to keep her going. she was HUNGRY. so we switched to formula/food. Thus I never had the issue of weaning before.
p.s. my first daughter takes a pacifier and is just as happy or even happier with her pacifier (even when i don't hold her) as my second is with nursing. LOng term, it seems that the benefits of a pacifier outweight the benefits of nursing-as-a-pacifier. Especially since I don't seem to produce much prolactin/oxytocin while nursing - definitely not enough to be used as birth control. Which leads me to say that nursing never puts me to sleep. In fact it keeps me up - kind of like "ok, finish up, I wanna go to sleep"
Insomnia issues - I have a hard time falling asleep, dont' always sleep too good, and when wake in the middle of the night need to fall asleep 'all over again' - it's a big issue.
So there. I feel like iI'm trapped.

Waiting to hear from y'all.
Thanks

[eilonwy]

Tandem nursing is much easier than nursing while you're pregnant; if you make it through the pregnancy, you've definately made it through the hard part.

I'd advise you to take a vitamin. I find that on the days I do I feel much more like a human being and I can even sleep better. I guess with three people making demands on my body, my vitamin deficiencies become more apparent.

I know what you mean about your physical strength flagging, and a vitamin can definately help with that. I don't have any recommendations for organic, wholesome supplements, because I'm poor, but I take generic walmart multivitamins and even those help me a lot.

I've got a six month old and a two year old who are both nursing happily, and as long as I get my vitamin all is good.

[bwylde]

I found it was way easier after DD was born. DS was on the boob as much as I could bear, around the clock and woke a lot at night (always has). It is now working out great as he only wakes once or twice at night, same with DD (although sometimes one or the other or both will sleep through the night). I had horrible visions of never getting any sleep as I am prone to insomnia and find it hard to go to or back to sleep, but it is working out way better than I expected. I never reaped the benefits of prolactin/oxytocin from nursing, so I know where you're coming from.

[Jaimep]

I am in this situation too.

My DD is 17 months old. She was night nursing still and day nursing about 4-5 times. I don't have problems with insomia, however I have the unusual problem of not being able to keep weight on. I was 110 before dd and now was down to about 102. So i am really concerned.

I also don't feel up to the challenge of nursing two at night and such. I have personal experience with good friends that have tandem nursed and I just don't think I can do it.

So we decided right before christmas to try to work on weaning. I just keep her really busy during the day and with all the christmas stuff it wasn't hard.
It is going pretty well. She is now waking up only at 1am and 4:30 am and I nurse her both times. She also nurses to sleep for bedtime and nap during the day. So we are down to about 4 times a day. I am going to give it another week and then have DH start taking over for the bedtime routine and hopefully drop that one as well.

I guess I wouldn't mind tandem nursing if it was one or two nursing a day. She occasionally askes for a nursing during the day. But I have found it is usually cause she is hungry or thirsty. So I am really trying to keep on top of that, to try to prevent her asking in the first place.

I know alot of people here are totally against any forced weaning, however I feel like I am being respectful of her in this. I am fine if it takes several months, it is not a "RIGHT NOW" kind of thing.