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~Nov/Dec 02' babes Chat for January~ - Page 12

post #221 of 278
well, my folks and inlaws pretend like they know nothing about the no vax after a few shocking and annoying instances. my folks also pretend like we are not actually homeschooling except for when my mom brings me over pop literature like magazine articles and crap. i'm always tempted to push on her tons of stuff to read about why i am doing things the way i do but i don't want to sink to her level. fern, if i were you i would have a quiet casual talk with your sister about your limits and ask her to try to respect them and accept that you parent the way you do regardless of her judgment.

rynna, it the two books- patterns of thought that helped me when i had clay were the continuum concept, and a new beginning by abraham-hicks. in fact i didn't read any parenting books for a year after those. my basic interpretation of the first is: live your life and your children can live beside you. 2nd is: our thoughts create our reality.
maybe you can get something from them. i still also stand by easy to love difficult to disclipline and the five love languages of children.

as for eli understanding that he is bothering you, i wouldn't hold my breath. it depends on the kids of course, and that he is a boy makes it less likely than a girl. perhaps there are new patterns you can teach him when he screams in your ear, which means you stay calm and sweet and turn over and look at your sparkly first baby and take his arm and put it on your arm and show him how to rub your arm the way you like that you really like. and maybe you can put a book in front of him and have him tell you the story, if he is capable. ruby is but neither of my boys are.

you may also be able to buy a little time by using a big hourglass timer and saying that you will get up when the twenty minutes are up. that way both of you know what is going to happen. geez i should try that. reed and sleep is one of the reasons tv entered the picture, since he would not play by himself and detest being alone still. and also happens to be starving when he wakes up. maybe beanbean is that way and you can set up something for him to grab and eat.
reed used to just kick me in the head, and now he find other ways to wake me up that are less angering but equally annoying. now reed is a bit behind on the emotional maturity scale. the best label-description i can give you is sensory intergration dysfunction. but i find that boys in general are less aware of others needs, not quite as empathetic or as in my son reed's case, close to completely lacking. he still pokes and prods the sleepy nurslings. reed still needs about three hours less sleep than the rest of us. i guess at six i should give up on even mentioning or complaining about it. yesterday as i pulled myself out of bed i did the thing i'm not supposed to do and told myself i need to medicate this child. it's not usually this bad i even almost fell asleep on the bath mat.

as for yelling at him, i spent the first years cultivating that warm fuzzy calm mamma voice that my temper would ruin. i think after i visited taiwan and listened to all the coarse yet real voices i decided i was okay with yelling as long as i yelled things i would say in a normal voice. i have been embracing being real.
as for you fil, you can't change him. and eli is already mostly shaped by you as mamma. it is hard to perceive with a two year old but i assure you, it will not be a big deal. of course then you might end up with what i have, which is my kids knowing that everytime my mom (or dad) opens her mouth they think she is full of it and the boys, when they get offended, start to joke about hitting her with a stick and killing her. at least now its a joke.

rynna, i have been reminding mammas irl lately that they have a baby under one and no matter what else is going on, this in itself is a crazy year for every mamma in the world everytime. it will wash over you and i think you will still be smiling afterwards.

fern amd jaz, i'm glad you had a good outing.
post #222 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by hjohnson
Jasanna I love the pictures as well! The baby quilts are gorgeous! I am a sucker for a good quilt. I have plans to buy a double wedding ring quilt from the Amish someday but I am going to have to spend a $1,000 to do so.
My MIL was raised Amish, and FIL was raised Mennonite. Mike has three quilts, one from his mom and one from each grandmother. We keep two of them in plastic all the time, because we don't want them to get ruined, but *wow* are they pretty. If we ever buy a house, we'll definately be hanging them up. They're full sized, but really too pretty to sleep under.

Casina-- thank you.

I have a problem with yelling-- I find that when I raise my voice, it escalates my anger. I can't yell, because I get more upset and start to get mean. I've actually been doing really well with not yelling, but then Mike came home last night and hollered at BeanBean because he couldn't handle both kids long enough for me to go to the bathroom.

This morning, I woke up when BooBah wriggled and pulled on me to force me to roll over. She latched herself on, nursed, and then got up and crawled over me where she played quite happily with an envelope she found on the floor. She was fine as long as she was in physical contact with me at all times. I closed my eyes again, hoping she'd get the hint, but she didn't; she just kept playing until I finally got up with her. I put her in the bouncy chair, gave her some cheerios and did a few morning things, and then I put her in the sling where she fell asleep within moments. Amazing! She's getting to be such a little person!

I desperately want to make play dough, but I need to be (temporarily) baby free; that is, I can't do it with BooBah in the sling because my arms aren't long enough. I can barely reach the keyboard, and it's not hot! Plus, if I had to look at the keys to type I wouldn't be able to do it. :LOL

BeanBean is still asleep. He fell asleep while I was at a LLL meeting last night with BooBah. When I got home, he opened his eyes and looked at me and then went back to sleep! I asked him if he needed to go potty and he just hunkered down under the blankets. I'm pretty sure that he peed for Mike before he (Mike) went to bed, but I'm not positive. I do know that he didn't nurse to sleep, which is *amazing*.
post #223 of 278
jazz - i like your new senior name

Fern, I feel you should absolutely stick with your instincts / decision regarding not vaxing Elwynn. I know it is hard when your family is not supportive, but like you said you are his mama and you alone 1. know what is best for him and 2. have to live with the consequences. kwim??

Our family mostly doesn't mention it anymore (im probably jinxing myself by mentioning that) I am taking a most excellent class on the internet right now - Vaccine Dangers, it is taught by Sheri Nakken. I really can't say enough good things about it, but be foreworned it is A LOT of reading. PM me for the link if you (or anyone) is interested.
post #224 of 278
Fern- I wouldn't be too worried about Elwynn contracting a disease from your sister just because she is in nursing school. There are things you can do to prevent exposure, like washing hands religiously, not kissing your sister when she is sick or thinks she is, taking immuno-boosters, etc. You'd be exposed to the same illnesses just by going into the store, or a restaurant, and sitting next to a sick person. Tell her it's your choice and you're willing to take the chance of exposing Elwynn to the natural microorganisms. It's not like you'd hold her responsible if he got sick, right? It's your decision to keep Elwynn unvaxed and it should have nothing to do with whether or not you move in with your sister, IMO. Good luck!

Rynna, I loved the longies. And I think we have the same exact carpet! It's so funny, our wood trim is the same color too. I know how you are feeling with the two kids and balancing everything out. But in my experience most times there is no balance. Some days Zachary needs more time and some days Julianna is more needy, and the other one kind of understands. I guess since they are used to growing up together they are used to sharing me and they realize that when I'm busy the other one has to wait. Even if that means I have to listen to one scream while they wait. I guess it will just take time for yours to get used to waiting for you. And I went through many times feeling guilty about having Julianna here because Zachary wouldn't have to wait for me if she didn't need me, and he's my baby, and he shouldn't HAVE to share me because he didn't ask me to do foster care. And I also felt guilty for making Julianna wait while I tended to Zachary because she needed a mother since her mother is wacked and it's my job to provide for her... Anyway, s and I understand...

I am weaning Zachary. I am plain refusing his requests for the boob most times. He is down to once for nap and once for bed, and possibly more if he REALLY needs it. I'm having DH get up with him at night and put him back in his bed, too. I can't take it anymore- I am done. The whole nursing relationship is supposed to be just that- a RELATIONSHIP, and I'm not getting anything out of it anymore but frustration so I am done. When Zachary asks for the bobby I tell him "No, you can't have the bobby right now, you're a big boy, but you can have tickles and kisses!" And then I attack him and make him laugh- trying to keep him happy so he doesn't feel rejected and sad from missing the bobby. It's not easy, but I'm doing it. I'm trying to cuddle with him more, and I offer him milk or Pediasure (he calls in "mote can"). He has been going through the Pediasure like MAD though, since he loves it so much. I don't want to kick a habit by starting another one (especially one that's so EXPENSIVE) but right now I have to get my boobs back. It just has to happen. Last night he woke up at 1am, 4am, 5:30am, and 6:20am. By that time I was wide awake, and I had to get up to get Crystal ready for school, but of course Zach went back to sleep till 8... I want to be happy to see him in the morning, not angry and frustrated, so I think I'm fixing the situation in the big picture, even if Zachary has a hard time with it. He's strong, so I know he'll be fine and I won't be damaging him by being mean...

Julianna has taken to saying "no" to every single question possible. And this isn't just a regular "no", this is a bratty "no" with major attitude, with perfect inflection and tone. Girls are so different from boys! And it would be one thing if she talked a lot, but she really only uses a few words at all, so it's funny that she picked this one as her favorite! :LOL

Rainy and cloudy here today. I wonder what kind of warm meal I should cook for tonight... It has been warm and sunny during the day here- just perfect. I love the winters in the southwest.
post #225 of 278
Still keeping up mamas, just little time to contribute!

Fern, I can't help but notice your aunt's reaction is like so many I have encountered when it comes to parenting out of the mainstream. I noticed that when she thought you were going to go ahead and vax, she said something like, "so, I'm so glad to hear you are planning to go ahead and vax!" It's like they are so relieved because they thing you've come around to thier way of thinking!

My mom said this to me the other day. "I'm so glad to hear you are planning to wean Tyson!" I had said no such thing and it turns out she got that from a conversation I had with my sister about possibly night weaning before TTC. I set her straight on my plan to CLW, but you see her attitude is such that "whew! Finally, Beth has given in and will do what I thought she should do all along but I didn't have the guts to say it!"

I find that with any part of my life where I function outside of the mainstream it is *OK* for someone in the mainstream to question me/give unsolicited advice but never should I imply that they should consider another way...

Fern, I am a nurse and was once a nursing student...I see no reason why your dc would be at risk by moving in there. Like someone already said, going out in public exposes us to anything there is to be exposed to. Practice good handwashing etc...

We are buried under snow here and are finally getting a break. I'm so ready for warmer weather. Everything takes so much energy in the cold!
post #226 of 278
Thread Starter 
Thanks, Punk!
post #227 of 278
thanks mammas.. for all of your support and insight.. its easy to feel beat down on a subject like vaccination when most of the world is so willing to be led and so easily brainwashed..

elwynn is in a foul mood.. im not sure why.. he just ripped a library book and when i asked him where the other part was he said "eat it" and spat out a little piece of papper.. there aren't many things that really piss me off, but wrecking books sure does..

but on a happier note, my one friend in mission called me this morning and invited us over and to go for a walk. i havnt seen her since before christmas and i was thinking of calling her, except that im always the one to call and i feel weird sometimes.. so it cheered me up. and a weird thing.. she asked me if i vaccinate elwynn and was really happy that i said no.. she said that she was just having a hard time with people about not vacc'ing too.. its strange how the theme of my week has been vaccination.. or better yet..not vaccinating
oh yeah. and yesterday i put on a cartoon for elwynn..it was bear in a blue house or something.. and They were singing about getting vaccinations and how good they were and how if you do it without crying you get candy. i was SO MAD! i turned it off and talked to elwynn about how you cant believe stuff they say on tv.. i think we are going tv free.. it really pisses me off that kids are being targeted with all of this pro vac propaganda.. its like they want kids to go up to momma and say "momma i want a needle so i can have candy too" its sick i say!
post #228 of 278
for some reason that makes me chuckle, julianna saying no in the way you describe. i think "no" actually means, me, i exist, and "mamma" means do something for me.
post #229 of 278

Still Snowed In!

This is crazy. We got almost 3 feet sunday and today we are getting another 9 inches! The snow is pile so high it is up to the level of street signs. There is no where left to put the newly shoveled stuff. We are going stir crazy!

Photos my neighbor took of our front yard and driveway

http://www.ofoto.com/I.jsp?c=oqmk1ov...b&x=0&y=dj6cs7

Amy
post #230 of 278
Thread Starter 
I love being snowed in But I guess it's different when you have to take care of kids. When I was a kid, being snowed in meant ...NO SCHOOL!!.. So that made me happy.
post #231 of 278
thats amazing! i love snow.. i wish that it lasted longer around here.

my friend and i visited all day and it was great! now im making supper.

oh i found 25.00$ while walking down the street today! that was luck.. im going to put it towards a pair of soft star boots for elwynn. i was wanting to get him but they seemed kinda expensive, but this was free money, so why not!
post #232 of 278
I have a minute here. I'm drinking some yunnan tea while dh is with ds. Mamafern, when Mukti sees me on the computer he always asks to see pics of Elwynn. Last night while were in bed and we were going over our day, which we do each night, we talked about seeing the pics. I asked him if there was one he liked best and immediately he said 'with momma one' I thought that was so interesting that he liked the one of you and Elwynn so much because it seems to point to the magnitude of the mother/child relationship, how it's their world right now, and I had a sense of ds being reassured/affirmed in seeing other mommas and babes, a sense of happiness spreading thru his being. I feel this too when we talk about the other mommas and toddlers we know.

So, what books is everyone reading with their little ones?
post #233 of 278
I had written up a nice long post last night, but when I hit submit, I lost it all due to the server problems

Basically, I said: Nice to see you Beth, Casina I totally agree about the no thing and Fern, I hate the way t.v. takes advantage of children too. There, summed it up. Mostly anyway.

Did any of you mamas have very vivid, disturbing dreams while Pregnant? I didn't with Zoom, but I have been during this pregnancy. The last two weeks I don't even feel rested in the morning The night before last was espesially bad and I spent the morning crying off and on.

Rose, I'm so glad to see you here

Lately we are reading : Welcome with Love (very nice book about a homebirth from a child's p.o.v.) On The Day You Were Born (Beautiful!!) and I Hope You Dance. These are all kind of long for Mariah still so we often don't read the whole book in one setting.

Some of her favorite board books are any with textured pages plus Good Night Moon and the Maisy books by Lucy Cousins.
post #234 of 278
solsticemomma..that is soooo sweet! i hope that elwynn and mukti get to meet each other some day!

ive been buisily getting a package of felt balls ready to send to ohio. my first mail out order.. very exciting.

im going to vancouver tomorow on the train, which elwynn Loves, of course.. im spending the weekend with my sister, so hopefully we will have the chance to sit down and really talk about this vacc. issue and get it cleared up in a positive way.

carrie, i had vivid dreams a lot when i was pregnant with elwynn.. mostly about birthing him.. i think i had a dream about pretty much everyway the birth could have gone.. even one where i ended up having elwynn in a hospital room all alone and when the doc. came in he said "too smalll..gotta put him back" like he was a fish or something.. and one where he was born with black skin! he was the most beautiful chocolate brown baby
i dont remember any being very disturbing, but there probably were some..but im good at blocking stuff like that out. i hope that it getts better. sometimes when i have a spurt of bad dreams before i fall asleep i visualise myself somewhere beautiful and peaceful and i tell myself that ill only dream of lovely things and it really works.. just set your mind in the direction you want it to go.. maybe also letting go ogf any fears and stresses of the day before falling asleep will help too
post #235 of 278
Quote:
Originally Posted by *solsticemama*
I had a sense of ds being reassured/affirmed in seeing other mommas and babes, a sense of happiness spreading thru his being. I feel this too when we talk about the other mommas and toddlers we know.
we have a book, can't remember the title, where at the end- second to last page- the mama tucks in the baby, and then the very last page the baby is sleeping in her bed w/ the mama no where to be seen. and dd is always like "mama?" she doesn't understand why teh mama isn't there with her. i tell her that the mama is sleeping too , you just can't see her.
so yeah, for her the mama and the baby also intrinsically go together...

post #236 of 278
Thread Starter 
punk~ in Ayurveda (are you familiar with it at all?) When you have a bad dream, it means that your doshas are out of wack. Usually means that there is too much fire/pitta in you at that time. I'd suggest cutting down on spicy foods and maybe eating more raw during the day. That's just the way I've learned about it, and it seems to jive with me.
post #237 of 278
:LOL boy did i ever have strange dreams! during both pregnancies, they got really nuts. there were some about birth (although i can't say any of them was like the reality) but they were mostly about random stuff.

i had a sex dream while I was pregnant with BeanBean that involved no sex at all... Eminem brought me take out from the Olive Garden and then sat on my bed and folded laundry. You'll have to take my word for it that it was a sex dream; while I was always interested during the day what I really wanted in the evenings was food and for the cleaning to get done. :LOL :

I also had the "too small, gotta put him back" dream. While he wasn't "too small" at birth by any means (7 lbs 8 oz, exactly on the 50th) he's a scrawny little thing now! :LOL

But yeah, I had some really creepy and disturbing ones. My sister says you'll always be able to tell if you're having a girl because you'll have "the child molester dream." I had those dreams with BeanBean too, though. I also had several dreams that involved me inflicting harm upon people who'd hurt my babies... seriously detailed ones. After I read Protecting the Gift those dreams went away; it was almost like I needed to come to accept that aspect of motherhood.
post #238 of 278
well i had an awesome dream i'd like to share but first i want to tell you guys that tavis just pulled the vcr out of the closet and he just spent the last 10 min. or so getting things (coins, pieces, or whatever) out of the vcr. wonder if it will ever work again? anyway tav is probably annoyed and i'm in here laughing to myself. i can't believe the things razi gets into...

when i was pregnant we didn't know what we were having. one night i dreamed i could see through my big belly and the little baby in there rolled over and i saw a little peenee. i already thought i was having a boy but it was so amazing to see thru myself.

i really miss having a big mama belly. sigh

razi really likes goodnight moon. i mostly like it but in the picture of the illustrater, it looks like he has a cigarette! let me know if i'm wrong!!

mamafern- i got razi the soft star boots at the beginning of the winter and i was rather disappointed. they were warm on the leg and bottom of the foot but the top of the foot had no insulation at all. i ended up sending them back. i just thought i'd tell you cuz it was a bummer.
post #239 of 278
Yes, casina, I think it is rather funny when Julianna tells me no. It shows so much of her personality just by saying that one word, and the tone of voice she uses. I definitely think it has more meaning than just "no". She knows she is a person now, an individual, and what she says to us causes a reaction, and she knows she's part of the conversation because she can say something that has such meaning. She's getting so beautiful too, her little black curls and chubby cheeks...

Zachary's favorite book is a book about airplanes. It doesn't really have a story to it, it just describes the airpcraft. Zachary brings it to me and says "wobe it, mama" (read it mama). :LOL We have probably read it a ZILLION times by now, and we all know it by heart. They also really love these two board books we have- they are Teletubbies with doors that open and close, and they fight over them all the time.

I take the kids to the mall sometimes, and they have this little play area with soft toys to climb on and a slide, etc. The kids usually have a blast running around and climbing and screaming. But yesterday it was awful- almost all the kids there were rude and mean. Julianna would be trying to go up the stairs of the slide and kids would push by her, or she'd be at the top of the slide ready to go down and they'd push her out of the way and she'd go down the slide crooked. (She's very skittish about that kind of thing anyway, she's not very confident with her motor skills yet.) A couple kids actually just went up to her and pushed her HARD and the look on her face was just terrible. She had such hurt in her eyes like "Why would you do that to me?!?" I felt so awful, I finally just picked them both up and left. They push each other and hit each other all the time at home, but they just couldn't understand why complete strangers would just come up and push them out of the way and not take turns, etc. They love going there, but I don't think we'll be going back for awhile. It hurt me to see my kids so sad and confused, and I don't want them picking up bad habits of not sharing, not being polite, and not taking turns, YK?

We have two litters of puppies on the way! It has been a breeding frenzy in my backyard lately, to say the least LOL. Come springtime we'll have lots of little puppies around- talk about a stinky corner of the kitchen! We're still planning on TTC after our anniversary... I had been so baby crazed the past few months but now I'm not- it's so weird. I'd almost be content in a way to not have anymore... But I know I will. My sister is due in June and my cousin is due in August so there are babies everywhere here!

Baby crying', gotta run...
post #240 of 278
yeah, i think im going to pass on the soft star bootss. they look so cute, but ive heard a few bad things now.. i think ill try and make him some with recycled leather and felt on the inside. i can probably make some just as nice or nicer for way less..

today jazz and i went to a coffee shop and some old ladies complained that the kids were being to rowdy. they were running around, but being pretty quiet.. the guy who works there came over nd quietly whispered that he was so sorry and that if it was up to him he wouild let them do whatever they wanted. we were ready to leave anyways, but it was still irritating. the kids were being sweet..they are kids afterall..
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