biting is normal. that's actually what front teeth are for in animals. sure, they tear food too but that is our primary defense mechanism. it's hard dealing with habits that our kids pick up. know that if they do, they are just experimenting. if we had the village they would have all those habits around all the time and it wouldn't surprise us so. we can diffuse some of the world and block out other parts but the world is out there. i have learned the hard way that the usual recourse is to cease hanging out with the child, which punishes the moms the most. it is temporary but a year or two not seeing a family you like can be hard. generally, no attention whatsoever will work better than giving attention. also try redirection. when we hear "no biting", we mainly hear the word biting. try giving them something they can bite, and say bite this. if that makes you feel uncomfortable, show them something else like petting your arm or kissing it. it needs to be right there for the redirection to stick. i tolerated licking sometimes in exchange for biting.
biting starts as just an expression of frustration considering we start as oral learning non verbal creatures. getting mad does happen, and we should be allowed to be mad but our actions should be respectful. however, 2s and others have limitations and we should heed those limitations and offer guidance. they have no prior concept of violence whatsoever and our horror stricken looks can be very entertaining. ruby bites me because it is fun. she bites the boys even more because they yelp.
it's not totally the mom's fault. what i do when my kids are the victim are that i promptly go comfort them until they feel better. then i make no mention (unless they are much older and i can instill different strategy for next time). i have also learned the hard way that i cannot comfort the victim if my child was the aggressor. it it inflates the learning shame into anger instead with my child and breaches my love line with my child to the point that they are mad at me instead of understanding that they were part of the problem. that has also made me the bad mamma in many people's eyes. i can say, i'm sorry that happenned to the victim and mamma. but my efforts at requiring my child to apologize or comfort against their will usually backfire. many times my older kids have apologized sincerely much later, and made retribution offers. ostracizing usually doesn't make anyone feel good and can worsen the actual behaviour because things got so exciting.
but i do parent differently. it just my world i'm talking about!
fern, i understand your rant about the beautiful children and i'm still hearing it after six years. it helps if you look at the cross section of kids in this world. some are not so beautiful due to how they are parented. i think people just want to acknowledge something they see as wonderful but don't know how to express it, like "i'm so glad i saw your child today because it makes my day better". the other thing that bugs me is talking about the kids like they don't understand. but in this paranoid world, that is considered the norm since some people don't want you to talk to their kids.....
biting starts as just an expression of frustration considering we start as oral learning non verbal creatures. getting mad does happen, and we should be allowed to be mad but our actions should be respectful. however, 2s and others have limitations and we should heed those limitations and offer guidance. they have no prior concept of violence whatsoever and our horror stricken looks can be very entertaining. ruby bites me because it is fun. she bites the boys even more because they yelp.
it's not totally the mom's fault. what i do when my kids are the victim are that i promptly go comfort them until they feel better. then i make no mention (unless they are much older and i can instill different strategy for next time). i have also learned the hard way that i cannot comfort the victim if my child was the aggressor. it it inflates the learning shame into anger instead with my child and breaches my love line with my child to the point that they are mad at me instead of understanding that they were part of the problem. that has also made me the bad mamma in many people's eyes. i can say, i'm sorry that happenned to the victim and mamma. but my efforts at requiring my child to apologize or comfort against their will usually backfire. many times my older kids have apologized sincerely much later, and made retribution offers. ostracizing usually doesn't make anyone feel good and can worsen the actual behaviour because things got so exciting.
but i do parent differently. it just my world i'm talking about!
fern, i understand your rant about the beautiful children and i'm still hearing it after six years. it helps if you look at the cross section of kids in this world. some are not so beautiful due to how they are parented. i think people just want to acknowledge something they see as wonderful but don't know how to express it, like "i'm so glad i saw your child today because it makes my day better". the other thing that bugs me is talking about the kids like they don't understand. but in this paranoid world, that is considered the norm since some people don't want you to talk to their kids.....
thanks again fer setting it up.
I'm drooling just thinking about it. We will be getting some money for food tomorrow and I can't wait to go to the store adn stock up (I totally feel for you lizc btw) Definetley will be getting salad stuff.
) lately it seems to be getting better or maybe i am better at anticipating when it will happen. now i am working on trying to not make it mean i am a bad parent .... also most of the other mom's are stay at home and that adds to my guilt.
Yich.
He's also extremely fond of % symbols, and recognizes "100%" and "50%" but only knows that 50% means something isn't finished/full/complete and 100% means that it is. Whenever he sees the % he asks "what percent is it?" He's also asking about words-- "what does that say?" --all the time. He knows that the individual letters make sounds, but I don't think he's quite gathered that letter=sound and many letters=many sounds=words, but he's working on it. BeanBean is very much into coloring these days; on himself, especially, but also on paper, in books, on walls, and on his sister. 
I think that's part of the huge developmental leaps he's making; he needs to nurse because his brain and body are moving so quickly that he's got to comfort himself and slow down sometimes. I have managed to get him to suck his thumb, but it's a very temporary solution for him.
: His cousin is trying to convince him to put on underwear. "They're my pants! I don't want my pants off!" :LOL I'd better go.
I was back at work exactly ONE day and today I had jury duty and guess what ...that's right I am now a juror 
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