Thank you for asking how I'm doing Sprinkle Pocket ~ the personal life is in shambles and when I think it's getting better, it just isn't. I saw my counsellor on Monday and it really helped. She showed me how strong I am, that I am doing the right thing by sticking up for myself and speaking my Truth. I have been reading The Whole Woman
by Germain Greer and it has made it easier and more difficult to not just sit by and be a passive womun, accepting whatever bs someone wants to throw on me. At the same time, I have been using lots of loving affirmations with the baby. I speak to Faenin and say that it's safe to come out, that I am ready, that I am very excited to see and touch, that the baby is healthy and strong and ready to live outside my womb. At the same time, I wouldn't doubt that the baby is waiting for "dad" to leave at the end of this month.
My "due date" was yesterday, the full moon, the same one ds was born on and I thought the moon would be powerful enough to bring forth the baby. It feels weird to be saying "I'm due today/yesterday" when we go out. My body looks and feels very ready and I am getting impatient to rub soft, slippery, delicious baby skin!
I have let go of my "dreams" with the "dad", mostly, and I feel much more able to have this baby. I can't change someone who, at the last minute, is afraid of the responsibility of parenthood, is too immature and wants to pretend to be living the life of a young swingin' single. In the end, he loses out on the miracle and blessing that only a child can bring. I am not alone and that feels good.
Yesterday two wimmin, one from China and the other from Bangladesh, both told me that in their cultures a baby born early will be a boy and one who is born late will be a girl ... only time can tell ...
This is my prayer for the baby to be born in the next few days. I am strong and calm. One of my favorite songs to sing is I am enough for myself, I don't need anything else.