Nightmares

[lisamarie]

Well, here I go again . I think the mothering hormones of pregnancy are kicking in, because I have been having some awful nightmares lately. Most about my former, scarey in-laws and my late dh. Last night, my former in-laws were walking around my parents house and I confronted my former MIL. I'm not violent IRL, but I slapped her and wrestled her to the ground. Then later, I was in labor and I called my friends to ask where my 1st dh was (: ) and they told me he "did it again" (took his life). Yesterday, I was worried that Todd was going to die. Are these normal "pregnancy" fears or are mine just hightened because of my history? I am so fatigued and tired and these dreams are just wearing on me. When I go to bed at night, I'm not thinking of these things, just thinking of SLEEP!

Any thoughts?

Thanks~

Lisa

[Greaseball]

I haven't had many nightmares but lately I've been having a lot of weird dreams, mostly dreams that Harley faked his death or was found alive. In one dream I was telling him that he was going to be in the news for being found alive at the bottom of a lake for a year, and last night I was telling him that he was going to jail for faking his death.

One time a few weeks ago I dreamed that I saw him (it's weird, in my dreams he always looks different, like he'll be shorter or younger or have different hair) and I told him "I'm going to kick your @$$ for all the pain and sorrow you caused!" And then I did. And ever since then, I've felt a little bit better.

Also 2 nights ago I dreamed we were sitting in a bar and he was telling me he faked his death and I kept asking why and then suddenly he was a baby in a blue snowsuit and he was saying, "I can't tell you, you'll hate me.":

So I have no idea what it all means. On one hand it's good to have this one way that I can still see him, but on the other hand it's not good for me to get my hopes up that he's alive.

A while back I used to have nightmares and then they stopped, but I'm sure it's not all over yet. That was after dd was born, though.

[Ms. Mom]

I get them too - sorry sweetie.

My only suggestion is to try and eat healthy throughout the day. Make sure to eat a good protein source before bed and avoid food colorings, caffein and raw sugars.

These things will help you become more centered physically. As for spiritually, can you write down some of your feelings? Maybe when you wake in a nightmare, keep a journal close by and write what's happening. When your feeling more alert read through and try to determine what's at the root of it.

Let me know if you need to talk more!

[hahamommy]

Lisa
Sounds like your subconscious has lots of ammunition for your psycho pregnancy dreams! I'm sure there is a place in your psyche that repeats "the last time I was pregnant ... " we cannot help but compare and it's not too pleasant to think such things in your situation (hard to separate Dane memories from DH memories at this stage in the memory game?). Maybe you're just meant to be grateful it's *not* like your dream!
While pg with Hannah, I had vivid recurring dreams of being a widow. My beautiful dark-haired dd and myself were just livin' large in NYC ~ it scared the bejeezus outta me, friends told me it was my desperate attempt at getting rid of him but I finally (and still) chalk it up to hormone overload preying on our fears and darkness.
Sending lots of light your way!

[lisamarie]

Thanks for your kind words and understanding. I need to get out my journal again and write, I think. Thanks for always being there!

Hugs~

Lisa

[JessicaS]

I am so sorry for what you are going through. They always say pregnancy nightmares are normal but they can be very frightening and hard to cope with. Just because they are normal doesn't mean it isn't traumatizing!!

((((((lisamarie))))